Just thinking about how many times I have dishonoured her today makes me want to dig my own grave.
I have committed a number of crimes that would never be forgiven for unless I had an acquaintance, an executioner, kill me in an exceptionally brutal manner.

First, I saw a lady change her clothes.
I can’t help but curse my own shortsightedness in not knocking at that moment.
I prepared the hot water, thinking that if she was going to change her clothes, she might want to take a bath, but this time I touched her body, a part of her that only a loving husband and child should be allowed to touch.
Yet, as if to forgive the sin, she led me to her body and allowed me to touch it.
Thorden had never seen such mercy and forgiveness.

Oh, and yet.
And yet.
And yet, why?

“Stop…… stop……!”
Thorden ran out of the room as if to escape, jumped to the well behind the house, and splashed cold water over his face as if to punish himself.
His body was burning hot as his ugly desires raged.
The memory of the softness and smoothness of her skin made the blood rush to his painfully tense lower body.
Nauseated by his disgust at himself, Thorden repeatedly pumped up the well water and covered his head with it.

The cold well water deprived Thorden’s fingers of sensation, made his lips pale, and cooled the heat of his desire with a hint of death.
Finally, when he could no longer draw water from the well, Thorden was finally able to relax a little.
Leaning limply against the wall to catch his breath, he looks up at the sky, which he realizes has gone dark.

She must be very confused to be left alone in her room all of a sudden.
I have to clean up the bathtub. It would be a disaster if she catches a cold because I left her soaking in the bathtub.
I wondered if the fruit I’d prepared was good enough for her palate.
I should have learned to cook one of the dishes if this was the case. I felt terribly sorry that I couldn’t serve her a warm meal.
But I will have to wait until tomorrow.
Tomorrow she will return to her guardians and be treated as her status deserves. And she will forget the time she spent with this gravedigger as a horrible nightmare.

Thorden took off his rain-soaked clothes, put on the nicest clothes he had on hand, and went upstairs to where Eri Himeno was waiting for him.

And then, Thorden cried out.

He found that Eri Himero had disappeared from the room, leaving behind a letter that Thorden could not decipher.

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