Once Love Begins - Chapter 22. Part 1 (R-19)

Chapter 22. Part 1

I rubbed my eyes vigorously. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I opened my eyes wide and looked at his wrist again, but no matter how many times I checked, it wasn’t a mistake. The scars, unmistakable signs of suicide, made it impossible to close my eyes. 

One look at the scars on his wrist, then at his peacefully sleeping face. Back to the scars. I couldn’t breathe. 

It felt like my throat was shrinking. 

Not once, but several times, as if he was determined to end it all, the deep marks were visible. I bit my lip so hard it almost bled.

I should’ve shaken him awake to ask what happened, but instead, tears started falling. 

“Sniff… sob… hic.” 

I turned my back, curled up as much as possible, and covered my mouth with my hand. I couldn’t calm down. 

Then, everything about his actions finally made sense. Why he was so determined not to take off the watch, and why he had harshly slapped my hand away when I tried to remove it?

Tears fell, one after another. No matter how much I wiped them, they kept flowing. I felt like I understood why he had those scars, and it made my heart ache as if it were being torn apart. While I cried, he pulled me closer by the waist. My shoulders flinched. 

I looked at him—he must have done it in his sleep. His firm chest pressed against my back, and I couldn’t even begin to imagine how many emotional wounds were hidden beneath. 

“Sniff… sob… hic.” 

I gently stroked the arm wrapped around my waist.

For the past year, I had been living my life doing whatever I wanted, assuming he had been doing well too. Even if he hadn’t been doing perfectly fine, I thought he was at least managing. But now, I couldn’t forgive my past self for selfishly assuming that and living in comfort. 

“…Yeonwoo?” 

His deep voice, just waking from sleep, made my cries grow louder. 

“…Are you crying?”

The arm wrapped around my waist tightened, and his chest grew tense and hard. 

“Why? Why are you crying? Are you hurt?” 

He moved from behind me to face me, holding my face in his hands, scanning it frantically. 

“Did I push you too hard? Are you in a lot of pain?” 

I shook my head vigorously. 

“I’m fine, hic. I’m fine.” 

“Then why are you crying?” 

His hand, which had been wiping away my tears, suddenly froze. When I opened my tear-filled eyes, I saw his face had turned pale. He must have just realized I had taken off his watch. 

Suppressing my cries, I started hitting his chest with my hands. 

“Why! Why did you do it? Why!” 

He gently grabbed my wrist and pulled me into a tight embrace. He held me so tender as if I were a fragile glass that could break with the slightest pressure. I broke down in his arms, crying uncontrollably. 

“I’m sorry.” 

I hugged him tightly, clinging to him as if I never wanted to let go. I wrapped my arms around him completely. 

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left like that. I’m sorry.” 

“…It’s enough that you came back. Just being here by my side is enough.”

He kept wiping away my tears, and I closed my eyes, pressing my cheek against his palm. Slowly, I opened my eyes again, looking into Cha Kangjae’s face, and nodded. 

“I’m sorry for hurting you. Every day was hell, crushed by the weight of that guilt. That’s why… I did some foolish things.” 

He gently wiped the tears that had gathered at the corner of my eyes with his fingers. 

“When he heard what happened, Chairman Ha came to see me.” 

“…Grandfather did?” 

“Yes. He told me to live.”

His voice lowered as if recalling that moment. 

“He told me to stay alive so I could protect you.” 

“……” 

“So I pulled myself together. I started living hard from that moment, to protect you when you eventually returned to Korea.” 

I touched the inside of his wrist, but he pulled his arm away, telling me not to. Instead, he held my hand tightly, pressing his lips gently to the inside of my wrist. His eyes deepened with emotion. 

“From now on, I’ll live for you. Only for you.”

“…Oppa.” 

“I love you. I’m sorry I realized it too late.” 

His trembling smile showed that he was trying not to cry, promising never to do anything foolish again. I followed his lead, holding back my tears and forcing a smile. 

He kissed my swollen eyelids, and his lips moved down, leaving soft pecks that tickled my neck. 

“It tickles! It tickles!”

He buried his face into my neck, inhaling deeply. I playfully hit his shoulder, telling him to stop, but he only rubbed his face against me more. I tried to push him off, saying he was heavy, but when he finally lifted his head, I swallowed hard at the sight of his expression. 

The lighthearted face from earlier was gone, replaced by the commanding presence of Cha Kangjae from the bedroom. He rested his arm beside my head, his intense eyes locking onto mine. My heart pounded so hard, that it almost hurt. 

“Can I do it again?” 

“……” 

“This time, I don’t think I’ll be able to be gentle.”

She rubbed the inside of her reddened thighs with her palm, whispering seductively.

As I instinctively pressed my legs together, his dark eyes drifted downward. Just the way his eyes lingered between my legs made my body respond.

He sat up straight and knelt between my legs, positioning himself. Suddenly, I realized the scar on his chest probably wasn’t from an accidental fall.

“This too… you didn’t get hurt, did you?”

As I slightly lifted my upper body and reached out, he hesitated. When I gently rubbed the scar under his chest with my fingertips, he shook his head, looking like he was about to cry.

“Don’t hurt yourself again.”

“….”

“…Okay?”

“Alright. I promise.”

He, as if unable to hold back any longer, rubbed the tip of his p*nis against my hole. My body, remembering the feeling of having him inside, instinctively responded, opening up as if inviting him in. Without realizing it, I tensed up. Sensing this, his p*nis slowly began to push its way in.

*** 

“I’m almost home. I’ll call you once I get there.”

I had a rare phone call with Hana who was busy with work. Listening to her grumble about not seeing Jaehoo for a whole week made the corners of my mouth lift into a smile. When I opened my eyes, I saw the familiar street come into view. I rolled down the window.

Before I knew it, spring had faded, and summer was approaching. I wondered what this summer would bring, and the anticipation made my heart swell with excitement.

Today, I had drinks with a few younger colleagues I’d become close with. At first, everyone seemed a bit uncomfortable, but as time passed, they started warming up to me.

Yesterday, I drank with friends from work, and the day before, it was with my clubmates. It felt like I’d been drinking all week.

As I stepped out of the car, he was there waiting for me.

“You’re here?”

“Have you been waiting long?”

Whenever I had drinks or came home late, he was always there, waiting.

“No, I just got here myself.”

“Why do you even bother waiting when I’m just getting dropped off right in front of the house?”

“Because I like waiting for you. This way, I can see you even just a minute earlier.”

Ever since we returned from the trip, he hadn’t hidden his feelings. His affection was constant, so much so that it filled me up like a meal. As he tucked a strand of my long hair behind my ear, I smiled at him, and he raised his eyebrows slightly.

“Why do you look so beautiful today?”

“Do I look beautiful?”

“Yeah. It’s driving me crazy.”

I did make an effort to look good today. I tucked a crisp white blouse into my skirt and wore high heels I don’t usually wear. His eyes drifted down to my pale legs.

“You’re getting more beautiful every day, and it’s starting to worry me.”

I knew I had been glowing, almost as if I had grown prettier from being showered with love. Hearing him call me beautiful made me smile so wide it felt like my face might split.

I blinked my eyelashes and looked up at him.

“Tonight, come to the second floor.”

“…Huh?”

“I said, come to the second floor.”

“Wait… really? Are you serious?”

Watching his face light up with excitement, I couldn’t help but secretly smile.

We hadn’t merged our rooms yet. I remembered his eyes widening in shock when I suggested we do it after graduation, and it made me want to laugh. Still, I kept my expression as neutral as possible.

“To the balcony.”

“…The balcony? Oh… okay.”

I laughed quietly, watching his shoulders slump in disappointment. It was too much fun teasing him lately. I pretended not to notice as he followed behind me like a defeated puppy.

“Kiwi!”

As I scooped up the little dog running toward me, I heard a soft sigh from behind. After spending some time playing with Kiwi, I headed upstairs. Standing on the balcony, I admired the view of the garden below.

This summer, we planned to go on a trip together. I had even told him I wanted to try scuba diving. It was shaping up to be a summer full of new experiences.

As I closed my eyes, the earthy scent of damp soil and the humid air filled my senses.

It hit me—summer was just around the corner. The warmth had grown intense, and beads of sweat were forming on my skin.

I thought to myself, *I’ll need to start wearing summer clothes from tomorrow.*

“What are you doing here?”

A strong arm wrapped around my waist from behind.

“Did you finish your call?”

“Yeah.”

He must have finished the call and come upstairs, just like he said he would.

Every time his lips touched the nape of my neck, my body grew warmer.

“You smell like sweat.”

“There’s only a good scent.”

He buried his nose in the nape of my neck and took a deep breath.

“Did you drink a lot?”

“Just enough.”

“…No one was being too forward?”

I laughed softly.

“Everyone knows I’m married, you know?”

His laughter at my statement was loud and sincere, and his hand that had been wrapped around my waist moved up to gently cup my br*ast.

“Shall we go to the room?”

Since both of us had been busy and hadn’t been intimate for a week, he whispered, suggesting we head to the room, but I shook my head. His urgent hands slipped under my skirt, kneading my thighs.

“How about we try here?”

“…What?”

“What do you mean, what?”

“What are you suggesting? Here?”

I pushed him away and took a step forward, standing by the railing. As I lifted my skirt, he let out a gasp.

“What’s this? Where’s your underwear?”

I had taken off my underwear as soon as I came up to the second floor. As I slightly spread my legs, he swallowed hard. I bent a little further, watching him closely. He reached out, gently touching my v*gina.

“So, do you not want to?”

As I gave a languid smile, he shook his head. I lowered my hand to spread my v*gina, allowing his eyes to settle on my intimate area.

“I was already this wet the moment I saw you.”

“Ah, you’re driving me crazy.”

His pants and underwear were around his ankles. It was so funny to see him so impatient.   

I was just as impatient. My skirt was rolled up and I was looking down at him, and for a moment, the corners of my mouth turned up as he thrust his p*nis into my v*gina.