In Order to Meet You, Beloved - Chapter 138

EPISODE 138

“…I see.”  

After hearing all of Noah’s explanations, the king muttered in a somewhat indifferent tone. Despite the lackluster reaction, Noah was not surprised. He had anticipated it.  

“I’m surprised you came to me directly.”  

Three days after properly facing Hamel Elerand again, Noah quietly summoned Tyrain. Through his arrangements, he met with the king and shared the story about the rebellion. While Noah’s expression remained calm as he began to speak, there was a slight tension evident in the faint lines on his forehead.  

“It’s something that can’t be avoided anyway.”  

His clear gaze directed at the king was like a tranquil lake, so deep that one couldn’t tell how high the water would rise if they stepped in.  

“You intend to root out the traitors completely, don’t you? Bringing in Cordelia was likely part of that plan.”  

When Noah heard from Cordelia that the old retainers of his grandfather had come to find him, he instinctively realized why the royal family had let him go for so long. If they let their guard down, there would be those waiting for the opportunity to make contact with him. Eight years was enough time for anyone to become complacent.  

He sighed at the realization of his ambiguous position. He was like a spice—something that wasn’t necessary for a dish, but essential for bringing out its true flavor. Though not needed in the cooking process, he had to be added in at the end to make it complete.  

To ensure that information leaked as little as possible, it was safest to delay meeting with him. That was probably why Hamel had only revealed himself after eight years to share his story.  

“Did you come to find me knowing everything?”  

“Yes.”  

“Why? Surprisingly, you would abandon those you’ve known for so long, especially with your personality.”  

Noah nodded at Franz, who was asking the question with a hint of intrigue rather than surprise. The fist resting on his lap trembled slightly with tension.  

“I’m not abandoning them. They might think so, of course.”  

“Oh?”  

“It’s just that I know it won’t succeed.”  

That one statement, laden with complex emotions, hung in the air between them. Noah revealed his deeply buried feelings to Franz, who narrowed his eyes.  

“I… don’t want to give them any more meaningless hope. They should blame me. No, it should have been like this a long time ago. This is the karma I must face.”  

If he could have persuaded them, he would have. If it had been possible.  

Noah remembered Hamel’s expression when he had hinted at surrendering to the royal family. It would have been impossible to convince him. Hamel would have tried to sway him in any way he could. If necessary, he might even bring up his grandfather’s death to shake him.  

“Now I can finally say this, but I have no interest in the throne. I won’t in the future either. It’s beyond my capacity and distribution, and when the country falls into chaos, it’s the people who suffer the most.”

He didn’t want to be king. There was already someone suitable for that position.  

Having lived as a complete individual named Noah Epherman instead of bearing someone else’s aspirations, Ian Linaen, certainly helped him make this decision.  

Could he truly handle the grueling position that required him to bury his own self? Setting aside the question of ability, did he even have the resolve? He felt skeptical.  

And was it truly justifiable to attempt to overturn a world that already had a capable leader for personal ambition? Was the throne something of such value? He knew it was an irreverent question, but honestly, he wasn’t sure.  

Sitting in a position that even the person concerned did not desire would ultimately bring unhappiness to everyone involved.  

“At first, I tried to dissuade you, but I quickly realized it wasn’t something I should interfere with.”  

“So you chose to report it to me?”  

However, he wanted to somehow reclaim the freedom that his mother should have enjoyed. He didn’t know the true value of this deal, but…  

Ignoring the tingling sensation in his heart, Noah bowed his head toward Franz.  

“Yes. So please, if possible, spare those people. If that’s not possible, then please kill them without torture.”  

Noah knew Franz well. They would never succeed in their rebellion. This wasn’t a statement born from a pitiful sense of defeat. His brother was alive because he was the kind of person who could survive. The countless scars on his body were the products of extreme malice and resentment. Even that couldn’t kill him.  

What kind of flowery thoughts could one have when contemplating someone who wouldn’t die even if killed? If he hadn’t come, Franz would have handled it himself. The methods would likely be more brutal than he could imagine. Wasn’t it said that the bodies of the ringleaders were hung at the front gates of the palace every time the rebellion was suppressed?  

That was why he acted first. Once it happened, there would be no opportunity to turn back.  

Noah valued the possibility of surviving, even a little, over the dead honor. He didn’t mind being called selfish. After all, without a justification for his actions, they would be meaningless. Knowing that, they must have been unable to give up on him either.  

At least for a moment, he feigned acceptance of Hamel’s proposal because he didn’t want to deny the past eight years that they had gone through. It was the last courtesy he could offer to those who had remained loyal to their family until the end.  

“You and your uncle always expect excessive generosity from me.”  

Noah couldn’t bring himself to say anything. It was the truth.  

A web of anxiety formed around Noah’s eyes as he looked at his half-brother. It was surprising that even in this situation, Franz’s gaze wasn’t that fierce.  

He now thought that the decision to embrace his own potential as a justification for rebellion was not solely due to a promise made with his uncle.  

“I know.”  

With that straightforward response, Franz continued to gaze intently at Noah’s face before finally exhaling.

“I’ve known for a long time, but… you really are quite unambitious.”  

“…What?”  

“To come this far and still be clumsy at wanting something for yourself. If you were a bit more selfish, perhaps it wouldn’t be so awkward for me to look at you.”  

Noah tensed at the king’s words, which were delivered almost in a mumble. A soft, reassuring tone followed.  

“Ian, I believe that for everything, there must be a proper price that corresponds to its value. I don’t want to give you a reason to express discontent.”  

His words were unusually long-winded. Franz spoke matter-of-factly while observing Noah’s expression, which was still tense.  

“And what you’ve requested is nothing compared to the information you’ve brought.”  

It was hard to see how asking to spare the remnants of a rebellion could be considered insignificant, but Noah remained silent at the king’s addition.  

“Therefore, I’ll offer another price. What do you want?”  

Is this an opportunity, or another test? Noah carefully opened his mouth.  

“…Um.”  

“Rejected.”  

“I haven’t even said it yet.”  

“If it’s about Queen Aileen, there’s no need to hear it.”  

Having struck a nerve, Franz bluntly interrupted Noah, who struggled to find his words.  

“If you don’t decide, I will do as I please. However, you have no right to refuse. Consider it a royal decree.”  

“Wait!”  

Noah shouted in surprise, quickly clamping his mouth shut. Franz gestured for him to continue. As he pondered, the image of Cordelia’s smiling face surfaced in his mind. Remembering it made his lips part involuntarily.  

“…I want to leave that mansion.”  

The mansion where he had been confined for eight years. A prison and shackles, yet also a place of refuge.  

“Do you understand what that means?”  

Noah nodded. He understood well enough.  

“Yes, Your Majesty. You know me well. I have many weaknesses. I cannot turn my back on them.”  

He didn’t want those he cherished to suffer because of him. So, he spoke to live as unobtrusively as possible, his eyelashes fluttering slightly.  

“Therefore, I ask you to show me mercy just one more time. I want to be… happy, if I may be so bold to say.”

Franz’s eyes widened silently. Not averting his gaze, Noah conveyed his sincerity.  

“Please understand my selfish desires.”  

As he spoke, Noah’s face, somehow refreshed, caught Franz’s attention.  

“After the matter is resolved, I will send someone to you. You can expect my answer then.”  

“Yes, understood. May I leave now?”  

“Granted.”  

Noah bowed quietly and stood up, but Franz softly asked.

“Ian, are you… my person?”  

Noah hesitated for a moment before responding in a measured tone.  

“You can believe what you think, Your Majesty.”  

Whether that was a proper answer, he wasn’t sure. Watching his half-brother’s face bloom into a gentle smile, like flowers blossoming in spring, he could only guess at the meaning behind it.