Da Li Temple - Chapter 68.1

Chapter 68.1
Snowstorm

Although he had long expected it, listening to her personally ask such words, Su Moyi still could not stop his heart from clenching. He raised his head, his smile somewhat sorrowful. In her eyes, he was just the impartial Chief of the Da Li Temple. But when this Chief of the Da Li Temple saw the Empress Dowager’s secret letter, his first thought was not to catch her but to protect her safety. These were what she never thought or never cared about.
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It was a long time of silence, and the wind was cold.
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Su Moyi looked at this person before him, suddenly feeling that he never seemed to understand her. The bottom of the heart suddenly gave birth to some sourness, but still pulled a hint of a smile, “So …… Qingqing ever fully believe in me?”
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This question stunned Lin Wanqing. Her unwavering eyes appeared a trace of panic; she opened her mouth a few times but couldn’t speak.
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Did I ever believe him?
I did.
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It would be false if two people with the experience of life and death together say they do not believe each other. But what he wanted was the whole trust, Lin Wanqing asked herself and could not do it.
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Over the past ten years, she was a person who lived in boundless darkness. Face the journey alone, without companions. She has long been used to walking alone in silence. Concealment is a means of survival, the only way out. There is nothing more than loneliness that can guard her burden. Su Moyi is the first to break into her world, peeling off her disguise.

Lin Wanqing thought that this was enough because if he went any further, he would strip her heart. After that, they would lie together in blood. She had returned from the dead and knew it was meaningless. So even in the most boiling love, she would quietly put in a piece of ice. But she never thought that this piece of ice would freeze the person in front of her; moreover, she never thought that when she saw his injury, she would also feel the pain.
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The snow fell, whitening the grass outside the house as if all things were blank silence. The two looked at each other, close at hand but separated by the longest distance.
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“Jingche,” she abruptly opened her mouth, but her voice was sour as if her mouth and nose were blocked, “Why bother?”
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Why do you insist on this and not let go? Why do you raise the knife to cut yourself?
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After a long time, she heard Su Moyi’s sigh, which seemed to have a thousand words, his breath turning into a white mist between his lips. He still looked at her, his eyes gentle.
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“Can I ask you three questions?” He said, “Answer truthfully, don’t lie to me.”
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Lin Wanqing bit her lip and nodded.
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“On the night of the thunderstorm, I was drugged. Did you save me with the selfish intention of utilizing me?”
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Lin Wanqing’s entire body shuddered with difficulty; between the opening and closing of her lips and teeth, she didn’t even spit out a word.
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“You promised not to lie to me,” Su Moyi looked at her, his eyes slightly gloomy.
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The hand gripping the bag tightened, and after a long time, a syllable floated out from Lin Wanqing.

She said, “Yes.”
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Su Moyi was slightly stunned and continued to ask, “That night in Hongzhou, you drank ‘Confused Heart.’ In addition to saving me, did you also intend to overturn the case for the Xiao family?”
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Another ‘yes,’ this time, she did not hesitate.
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Su Moyi’s face was already hideous with a bit of fire in the deep eyes, like the firewood destroyed by the wind and snow, gradually cooled down and turned into a capped piece. He was silent for a long time, finally asked, “If I did not force you, do you …… never want to marry me?”
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“Yes.” A quiet word, very light, like the snow falling around – no ups and downs, but cold to the heart.
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“En,” Su Moyi nodded, “I know.” His voice was as calm as ice. He said nothing else, turned around to fetch the oil lamp and lighted it.
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“Since that’s the case, I won’t force myself.” The firelight grew brighter, jumping around his fingertips, the warm light reflecting on his deep eyes but no longer warming them. He turned around to take the ‘marriage letter’ in the box – it was a thin piece of paper but seemed to have a thousand pounds of weight.
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His long fingers, in the bright candlelight, appear thin and bony. He slowly raised his hand, stopping when he passed through the candle flame. The firelight stained the gradually yellowing paper, becoming hot, and the letter’s handwriting curled with the fire, turning into a wisp of smoke.
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‘I will only love you; I wish for peace in this world, living quiet and good time with you; we will never separate from each other forever and ever.’
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The flame ate the handwriting slowly, and Lin Wanqing felt as if a blunt knife had been inserted into her chest, cutting her.

“Qingqing, I love you.”
“Don’t be afraid, I’m here.”
“Qingqing, trust me.”
“Sleep, I’ll bring you back.”
“Qingqing ……qingqing ……”
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“Stop …… stop …… Su Moyi, stop!” Her voice changed from mumbling to crying, like a dying person trying to grasp the only straw.
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Clang!
With a shocking sound, the oil lamp fell to the ground.

Lin Wanqing was desperately protecting the ‘marriage letter’ in her hand, which had burned beyond recognition, and she was sobbing as tears rolled down her face. The hot oil burned her hands, but it was not as bad as the pain in her heart. She remembered that she did not like to cry in front of people.
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The room was dark again, and the snow was still falling. A wind blew up a cloud of snow mist, miserable, like someone’s sob.
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“The case of the Xiao family, I will investigate for you. You can leave the Da Li Temple. We — end here.”
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Su Moyi walked away.
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Lin Wanqing did not dare to look at him. She heard his fading footsteps, out of her world silently, just like when he came. The path in the courtyard left his footprints; he left without any hesitation.
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This snowfall seemed never-ending, the slight awn through the bleak cold, like the year when she was four years old. The sky outside the window was cut into countless pieces by the window pane and eaves, and the snow-colored light shook her eyes.
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In the Sheng City in the tenth year of Zhaoyuan, it seemed she had once again been buried in that heavy snowfall thirteen years ago.
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