Episode 10. Lourrane’s Diary

I want to go home, I’m scared. People are calling me lady. Where on earth I am? I miss my mom and dad. I want to write it in Korean in case someone sees it, but strangely I can’t remember Korean after entering into this body. I’m scared that If I keep going like this I forget about Korea. So from now on, I will write a diary every day. I will write everything down before I forget my real memory.

Name: Park Yoojin

Date of Birth: April 8, 1999

resident registration number: 990408-2000000

I grew up in Seoul. I went to ㅇㅇ Elementary School in ㅁㅁ-dong, Gangseo-gu, Seoul. Then, I moved to Ilsan when I was in middle school, and I attended ㅁㅁ Middle School in Ilsan for middle school. I went to ㅇㅇ High School for high school and college… 

[Imperial Calendar December 4, 1817]

I must have been possessed by a novel. I recognized the emperor’s name when I heard it.

Askaar Caesar Rujadat.

Fortunately, I don’t seem to be a villain or a supporting character. If I stay hidden like a mouse, the Emperor, a munchkin, will revive the empire on his own, and I will be at peace.

But I miss my mom so much. I wonder what happened to the real me by now. I hope she’s not dead. I’m so scared and afraid. My parents here are nice to me, but I still hate them. I miss my mom and dad, and I miss my little dog at home. My little dog… He’s an old dog, and it probably won’t live much longer. Can I at least see his face before he crosses the rainbow bridge? I’m so depressed.

[December 8, 1817 Imperial Calendar].

It’s the end of the year and I’m busy preparing for the banquet. I don’t care about banquets. I’m not interested in banquets or anything like that.  I have nothing to do but cry in my room all day, so I have nothing to write in my diary.

Maybe I should write more about Korea… I have a lot on my mind.

[December 10, 1817, Imperial calendar].

I’ve been thinking about something. According to the original story, it was said that the body of the royal family mixed with the dragon’s blood allows them to use black magic in areas that humans can’t… So if I cast magic using the male protagonist’s body, wouldn’t I be able to return to Korea?

But the male lead is too scary. Even in the novel, he is very bad-tempered and unruly in his way… Besides, there’s no way someone like me can use the male protagonist’s body…

[December 23, 1817, Imperial Calendar].

Today was the day of the imperial banquet. For the first time, I saw the male lead in person. He was very handsome, and just like the novel, he had a bad personality. I don’t know how tall he is, but he must be close to two meters. Scary. Someone like me could die with just a single tap from the male lead. There’s no way I can get a body like that… Depressing.

[December 28, 1817, Imperial China].

I feel good today. I have an idea. It’s hard to get the body of the male lead, but what if I get the male lead child? Isn’t that child also a member of the royal family? I’ll use that child to return to Korea. I feel sorry for the child, but… I can’t help it. This is just a novel, not real life.

[January 1, 1818, imperial calendar].

New Year’s banquet. Today, I mustered up the courage to try to talk to my lord. But he’s so cheap. He’s an as$hole. Still, I have to sleep with him if I want to have a child, so I’ll have to endure my regrets. Poor me.

[January 17, 1818, Imperial Calendar].

I had a dream, I’m in Korea. A normal day when I overslept and was late for class and couldn’t eat my mom’s breakfast.

If I could go back to Korea, I would eat my mom’s breakfast every day without skipping it.

I miss my mom so much.

[January 21, 1818, imperial calendar].

I slept with the male lead last night. But I’m not lying, I thought I was going to die from the tearing down there. I was in so much pain, I couldn’t even breathe. I drank a lot of tea that was supposed to be good for pregnancy on purpose. If I do this twice, I will be torn apart from the bottom before I can go to Korea.

[February 19, 1818, Imperial Calendar].

I have a child. I only slept with the male lead, so it must be his child. I feel like I can finally see a way back to Korea.

I’ve been depressed lately, but my spirits are beginning to rise again.

[March 17, 1818, Imperial Calendar].

I’m busy studying magic these days. I have a lot to learn to be able to cast magic as soon as my child is born. My head hurts. I used to have herpes in Korea too…

* * *

[October 21, 1818 Imperial Calendar]

Finally, my child was born. I was so busy during the birth that I couldn’t write in my diary or anything… Anyway, this is the child who can help me sent back to Korea.

But the royal genes are so strong that I can’t even see a corner of her face that resembles me. It’s better that way. I thought I was feeling guilty, but this will make me feel better.

I named her Ashria, which means perfect creature. I hope you will return me safely to Korea.

[December 21, 1818, imperial calendar].

I gathered the child’s hair and cast a spell. It didn’t work, but it did make me go back in time for about five minutes.

Oh, I’m stressed.

January 31, 1819, Imperial Calendar]

It seems that the child needs to grow up, so I decided to keep her quiet for now. I hope she grows up soon.

I miss my mom. The more time that passes here, the more anxious I am. What is happening to the real me in Korea…

I feel so depressed. If I go back to Korea, I won’t watch the possession again. I’ve been possessed myself, and it’s to die for. From cultural differences to homesickness…

I don’t need a handsome man, money, or anything else.

I miss my mommy and daddy and my dog so much.

[March 7, 1819, Imperial Calendar].

I’ve decided to try my hand at black magic because I think I’ve run out of normal magic, but I’m scared. They say that if you are caught using black magic, you will be put to death…

I wonder what will happen to me in the future. I miss my mom so much. If I die here, will I go back to Korea?

Mom… I’m so scared.