Episode 5


“You need to spread it out.”


I froze. I almost dropped my chopsticks.  My face turned bright red at the word ‘spread’. He picked up a side dish and dropped it, remembering what he’d said about spreading it out.


The place he’d touched felt like it was burning. He wiggled his legs in vain, trying to force himself to move.  The image of his perfect upper body flashed through my mind.


I knew he had a good body before, but now it was on a different level. He had chocolate abs, washboard abs, the kind of body that made sense when people talked about it.


“I’m going to put it all in,”


I echoed the words in my head. I blushed, not just on my face, but up to the nape of my neck, knowing what he meant.


We hadn’t had a lot of s*x when we were dating. He’d done his best to be gentle with me when I told him it hurt every time.


He didn’t put it all the way in.  He always put up with it because it was a different thickness and length than most men.  I knew he was having a hard time holding it in, but I turned a blind eye to it because it seemed to be the size that made him love me.


Now he was warning me that he wouldn’t put up with it. A bitter smile tugged at my lips.


“I heard you were dining alone with Mr. Han yesterday.”


The sound of Ms. Kim’s voice slowly turned her throat. The corners of Sooyin’s mouth lifted to the sky.


“Oh my God, how did you know?”


I looked away to see Soo-yin smiling broadly, covering her crimson lips with her hand. My appetite is gone. I gulped down the cold water, but my thirst was unquenchable.


“Quite a few people have seen you. I heard you met at the hotel.”


Kim’s voice emphasized the word ‘alone,’ and my eyes dropped.


I’ve been waiting for him for three days without hearing from him, and it was strange to hear that he met up with Sooyin yesterday. Jealousy.


Yes, this feeling was jealousy.  So much so that I wanted to stop Ms. Kim’s mouth from talking to anyone who would listen. I bit down hard on my lip to stop myself.


“Are you two dating?”


Sooyin opened her mouth to reply. At the same time, I jumped to my feet. I felt Sooyin glaring at me, but I knew I would break down if I stayed here, so I made a quick calculation and ran out the door.


I don’t know how I made it to the company, but the thought of him with a woman broke my heart and I couldn’t bear it.


But I couldn’t contact him, so I only got a silent cell phone.  My head, which had been feeling pretty good lately, started throbbing.


* * * * * * * *


Whoa- I sighed.  I don’t know how many times I made mistakes at work. I apologized and apologized, but I had to take a pill because of Ms. Kim’s insistence that I stay until the end of the day.


I staggered uphill, thinking that I should go to bed early.  I could see the high school in the distance.  I decided to be grateful that I had a place to rest my head.


I opened the door and a sour smell assaulted my nostrils from the lack of ventilation. The small room contained only a desk and a bed.


I flopped down on the bed.  I should wash up, but I couldn’t be bothered. I rolled onto my side and curled up as best I could.  I was so tired.


I hadn’t slept well yesterday because I was in the hospital for a long time.  My dad had surgery yesterday and was recovering in the intensive care unit.


The doctors said the results were good.  I felt like I was going to fall asleep as soon as I closed my eyes.


“Ha, ha, ha!”


Just as I was about to fall asleep, I was woken up by a woman’s soft moan. It was coming from the next room.


Goosebumps rose on my forearms as I thought of the man who smirked at me every time I passed him. I wondered if he had brought a girl with him, or if he was watching p*rn.


It would be quieter.  With one thin, soundproof wall between us, I wondered what the hell he was doing, but it was too creepy to ask.  Sleep escaped me.


I sat up in bed and ran a hand through my messy hair.




I stared at my phone, still silent. I pulled my knees up and buried my face in them.  I wondered if he was waiting to hear from me if he missed me.


…… I realized what I really wanted to know was something else. Did he have a girlfriend?  My heart sank at the mere thought. I didn’t deserve it.


I abandoned him when he was at his lowest point. I was so mean to him when he asked me one last time in tears. It was for the best at the time. I thought it was for the best.


My eyes snapped open at the vibration that told me I had a call. I smiled and picked up my phone to check. The corner of my mouth turned down.


“…… Open it.”


-Did you eat?


It was Miho.


“I haven’t eaten yet.”


-You have no strength in your voice, I’m going forward, come out.




I couldn’t keep listening to the gasping woman moan, so I roughly tied my hair back together.


“Are you okay?”




“Goswon. Are you uncomfortable?”


With a worried look on her face, she pushes my favorite snack forward. I shake my head at Miho, who asks me to eat and drink.


“I’m not uncomfortable at all, don’t worry.”


I force the corners of my mouth up.


“You say everything is fine, so I’m more worried.”


Instead of answering, she downed her drink.






“…No, it’s nothing.”




I watched Miho pour sake into my empty glass and then turned my eyes away from the window. I felt so stupid for waiting for him to call when I had a friend who cared about me.


He doesn’t care about things like me. I grabbed my cell phone, which was sitting next to my drink, and threw it harshly into my bag.


I figured he’d care less if I put it away in front of him. Miho’s eyes narrowed as she stared at me.


“Cha Sooyeon, look at me straight…….”


Miho reaches into her pocket and pulls out her cell phone.




The corner of her mouth twitched, and I knew who it was.


“He’s with Su-yeon, um. Jealous?”


He stared at a smirking Miho, jaw set.  That’s good.  Inwardly, I envied Miho for looking so happy. I used to be like that. I used to sparkle like that.


The person who made me sparkle was…….  She took another drink.


“I miss you, too. Yeah.”


I nodded to Miho, who made a mouth to indicate she was going to make a phone call. The sake was sweet. Or is it bitter, I don’t know.


All I know is that it’s alcoholic. I took another swallow of sake.


“Mmm, good.”


I wiped the alcohol on my chin with the back of my hand.  Sooyin’s happy face kept flashing in front of my eyes.  Funny. I don’t even know who that man is.


Suddenly, I burst out laughing. In his words, it was the man who had made my belly button. I wonder what kind of face Sooyin would make if she found out we were together? She won’t be as happy as she is today.


“Hey, Su-yeon Cha, how many drinks have you had?”


“Again, nagging.”


It was Choi Mi-ho, the nagging demon queen. When I put my fingers over my ears, she punches me in the head. She should have been on the phone with her boyfriend.


“You should have a boyfriend soon. You’re getting old, old, old.”


“……A boyfriend?”


“Yeah. It’s been years.”


Years and years and years. Don’t you know that? Between friends? I muttered, running my palm through my hair where Miho had slapped me.


“Do you want me to introduce you to a guy?”






“I’m not in a relationship. I’ll be alone for the rest of my life.”




“I like being alone.”




The corner of my mouth twitches as I look up at the sky.


“……And your father?”


I waved my drink at my friend, who was purposely deflecting. Go ahead, pour me a drink.  I blinked at Miho as she poured me a drink, unable to resist.


“I’m recovering well. It’s all about now.”


“…… If there’s anything I can do, let me know.”


“…Thanks. How’s Mr. Jiu?” Miho’s face brightened with concern.


“Uh, yeah. Over there……. Se-yeon.”




“I……. I’m going to the U.S. in the winter.”


“Oh, that’s great!”


Miho beamed at the thought of her friend’s dream finally coming true. My eyes glazed over.


“That’s so great! Congratulations!”


“Do you want to come with me ……?”




I was stunned for a moment because I hadn’t thought of that.


“I can’t leave you here alone.”


“I have a dad and a mom, what do you mean?”


“You can’t go because of your dad?”


“…… Yes.”


“I can’t leave my sick dad.”


Ugh. Angelic Cha Se-yeon. Stupid Cha Se-yeon.”


I slapped the back of my friend’s hand hard as she ruffled her hair.


“Do you want to die?”


“You make me want to drink. Let’s drink!”


I loved the sound of the glasses clinking. I took a drink, and then another, genuinely supporting my friend’s dreams.


I splashed the alcohol into my mouth.  I staggered into my high school room and squatted with my back against the closed door.


“Welcome home, be careful.”


After ending the call with Miho, I raised my knees and buried my face in them. I could still hear the woman’s moans from the other room, and I knew it was p*rn.


I shifted my gaze to my cell phone, which I had thrown roughly on the floor.




I stared at the silent phone, then jumped to my feet.  I have to go. I have to go check it out.  Maybe it was the alcohol, but I felt brave.


Once I made up my mind, my body took over. I ran down the street and hailed a cab. I was out of breath, but it wasn’t hard at all. I got into the cab, gave him his home address, and looked out the window.


I stared at the rapidly disappearing lights and took a deep breath.


“We’re here.”


The cabbie’s voice woke me up. After paying, I stepped out of the cab and saw his magnificent gates. It looked like a prince living atop a deserted castle.




I should ring the bell, but I can’t.  Did he sober up during the short taxi ride?


My once confident courage was gone. She squatted in front of the gate, head bowed low. Her shoulders slumped.  What had she come here for, to talk about?


I laughed at the absurdity of it all.  I buried my face in my palms. Crazy, crazy. I regretted coming here and tried to get up. In the distance, a car approached with its headlights shining.


I hadn’t even gotten up when the car stopped in front of me.


“What the hell?”


I made eye contact with him as he got out of the car. He wiggled his eyebrows in disapproval.  A small sigh.  I sit up shakily.


I realize he’s off work and he’s wearing a crisp suit, and he stalks over to me. My eyes widen at the sight of him.


“What was that?”


“It was…….”


My mouth is burning. I swallow dryly as he stares at my face, saying nothing. His piercing gaze focuses on the collar, just as it did three days ago.


When I can’t look him in the eye, he tilts his head down and meets my gaze. I feel a hiccup coming on. My heart flutters at the proximity.


“Have you been drinking?”




“Oh, you didn’t pay me?”


I look up at him as he lifts his head, and pulls his tie down in annoyance. He blinks slowly.


“I didn’t ask for your account.”


He looks so tired, like I want to hug him.  Instead of hugging him, I put all my strength into my fisted hands. I wiggled my toes.


“Come in.”




“I’ll send you the money.”


I need the money because I have to pay my dad’s medical bills once a week. However, it wasn’t the money that brought me here……. It wasn’t for the money.


I looked sadly at his back as he walked past me.  My cheeks trembled as I fought back tears.


“Aren’t you coming in?”


I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek to keep from crying and shook my head. I put on the mask of an emotionless person and stepped into his stark house.


The difference in our leg lengths put quite a bit of distance between us. I followed him silently as he strode briskly through the garden without waiting for me.


It’s little things like this that make me feel sad. He would never have shown me his back in the past, but he does it so easily. It’s not surprising since we broke up, but I still can’t believe it.


There was a time when I thought he had my back.  It gave strength to his slightly slackened face. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m the one who caused this.


It was my choice to stay by his side, even if it meant being a bitch. So let’s not play the pity game, I muttered to myself.  Inside the house, he was sitting on the couch.


I walked over to him, noticing that he had taken off his coat and thrown it over the head of the couch.


“Right. There’s one thing I need to get straight.”


“You’re ……?”


“You live with that assh*le?”


I stood in front of him and took in his eyes. My eyes slowly opened and closed. The assh*le? I don’t know who the assh*le is.


“Is that assh*le asking me for a ride because she doesn’t have any money?”


I realized he was talking about Miho. We must have misunderstood because she disappeared in a woman’s car at the party. But I don’t tell him it’s a misunderstanding.


When I glance at him, he takes off his tie and throws it on the floor as if he doesn’t like something. Then he unbuttons his shirt, one button after the other.


“…It’s not like that.”


“I don’t care if you’re seeing a guy or not, but when you’re with me, make sure it’s a guy.”




“Don’t make me feel like sh*t.”


She opened her tightly clenched lips.


“Okay. Okay.”


I almost laugh at the absurdity of hoping he’d be the least bit jealous, even in this situation. His dark eyes scanned my face. I clamped down on my expression.


I locked eyes with him as if I didn’t feel anything.


“Send me your account number.”




I pulled out my phone and immediately texted him.  He checks his phone, dials something, brings it to his ear, and holds out his hand.


He beckons me to come over, and I hesitantly approach. The closer I get, the more my heart races.  By the time I make the excuse that I’m drunk, I’ve lost all my energy.


Worse, he was becoming increasingly sober.  Patting the seat next to him, I shifted at his unspoken command to sit down.


“It’s me.”


When the person on the other end of the line picked up, he spoke.




I said, my eyes widening.  In the middle of the call, his hand grabbed my chest and I made an involuntary sound. His eyes flickered frantically.


“I’m sending the account now, send 100 million.”


I swallowed, this time surprised by the number. His hands moved relentlessly into my clothes. Inside my bra, they twisted my n*pples painfully. The emotionless touch sent a wave of heat through my stupid body.




I stifled a moan and covered my mouth with my hand, the more his hand squeezed my br*ast painfully. More than my br*asts, which felt like they were being mashed into tofu by his overbearing hands, my heart ached.


I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head, missing the way he used to tremble and cherish my br*asts.




“Don’t call me unless it’s urgent.”


As soon as he hung up the phone, he lay down. I look up at him, almost sprawled out on the couch. His eyes slowly travel down from my head, stopping once at the nape of my neck, once at my chest, and then at my stomach, where he gives me a quizzical look.


“What’s this scar?”


I swallow dryly as he asks, pressing a finger to the side of my belly button.


“It’s from my appendix,”


I tell him, his gaze moving away from the scar. Quickly unbuckling his pants, he peeled them off.


“Now, wait…!”


he said, pulling his boxers aside and sliding a finger into the hole. The lining clamped down on his finger at the sudden intrusion.


“Pull out.”


My eyes fluttered like buoys on a windswept ocean. Another finger slid in, one that didn’t seem to mind. As if to confirm, he spread his fingers apart and turned them left and right.


My lower stomach clenched. Once again, I hear a menacing voice urging me to relax, but I can’t. With trembling hands, I grab his wrists.


“What, you don’t like it?”


he scoffs, and I loosen my grip, figuring it’s probably deposited by now.


“I told you to spread it out.”


“Shh, no… Shhhh!”


His voice was very calm as he added another finger as a punishment. As one more finger slid in, I felt the fear of being torn apart inside.


Three fingers was too much. My thighs quivered and he sighed, pulling one finger out. I could feel my p*ssy throbbing and juices pouring out.


“Your p*ssy is screaming for it. Are you going to stop me now?”




It’s not fair to speak with a flick of the wrist. My inner walls bit my fingers and refused to let go as a creaking sound filled the house.


My face flushed and colored with shame as the sounds grew louder from below, and as I turned my head away, unable to look him in the eye, his touch became more forceful.


With increasingly rapid flicks of his wrist, he pierced a spot on my inner wall and slipped out.    My eyes widened and I looked up to see him smirking at me with a look that said,


“So it is.”


I bit my lip hard. I bit my lip hard.


“Widen it this way. Do you understand?”


I nodded, not realizing what he was saying. I couldn’t swallow it, so it trickled down my chin.  The sound of my palm slapping the shallow water pierced my ears.


I knew I shouldn’t be doing this, but I rocked my hips anyway. It had been too long since I’d cl*maxed.  No, I was on the verge of cl*max.  I let out a rueful sigh as my hand suddenly slipped away.


“Starting today, go home and spread yourself as wide as you can, whether by hand or with a device. Don’t talk about dying during s*x.”


I whispered in his ear and watched him take off his shirt. He was talking about the past. He was whipping me for whining about it hurting.


“Straighten up, Isn’t a hundred million for ten nights a pretty good deal?”




“Do you know, if you’re good to me, maybe I’ll pay you a little more because you’ve got a nice p*ssy, that money you like so much because I’ve got too much and I’ll die without spending it all?”


I can’t get used to the stabbing in my heart every time. Today, a new wound opened up.  When will it ever get better? Will it ever get better? Knowing that one day I’ll have to leave his side for good, I get up from my seat without hesitation.


I wobbled wildly as my legs gave out, and only managed to hold onto the couch to keep from falling. He watched me with amusement.


“See? Your p*ssy is all w*t from all that c*mming.”


I glared at him, unwilling to give in to his insulting remark about my wrists being w*t.


“Your p*ssy can’t be the only thing that feels good, can it?”




“Suck it.”


His c*ck bobbed dangerously up and down as he unbuckled his pants and pulled his alter ego out of his underwear.


I’d never sucked one before, never even looked at his, and my shoulders twitched.


“Suck it.”


He warned quietly as I took an involuntary step back.  I slowly approached and knelt down. I don’t know why, but when I saw his, my salivary glands exploded and my mouth filled with saliva.


I gulped and swallowed, wanting to run away from the sight of his growing c*ck. But I didn’t. I took a deep breath and grabbed his c*ck with both hands, which could barely fit in one.


It throbbed like a living, breathing thing.  Hey, is he even going to fit in my mouth? No. What should I do first?


When I lift my eyes to look at his face, he whispers,


“Go ahead and suck it.  I swallowed once more and ran my tongue over the gl*ns. The gl*ns were just a hint of pink. I’d never seen it this close before.


It wasn’t gross at all. A few years ago, I hadn’t thought of it as gross or scary was too young.


“I can afford to think of other things,”


he growled, like a hungry beast ready to bite the nape of my neck at a moment’s notice.  His tone was angry, and I opened my mouth as wide as I could to swallow my alter ego.


You look up at him, wondering if this is how it’s supposed to be, and he narrows his brow, looking even more angry than before.


I bite down on my face and spit out my doppelganger, scratching his with my teeth in an unaccustomed gesture. I quickly look up to meet his eyes.


“Se-yeon, what are you doing?”




“You’re not sucking it straight. Are you going to scratch it all over with your teeth like that, huh?”


I swallow my saliva as I take his gl*ns into my mouth. His eyes were hot.


“You seem insincere, and it makes me feel like sh*t, huh?”


It was the first friendly voice I’d ever heard. But it scared me even more.  I opened my mouth as wide as I could and sucked hard on the black c*ck. My cheeks were w*t with tears.


“Don’t cry. What did I do? I’m the one who should be crying, not you.”


My breathing was ragged from holding in my tears, and he gently rocked his hips as if he didn’t care.


I hadn’t even swallowed the whole thing when his doppelganger stabbed me in the throat. I was out of breath and fighting back tears.


My throat hurts like it’s been ripped open. I strain my head to get away, but he grabs the back of my head with his hand and squeezes.


I squeezed my eyes shut, unable to pull back. His p*nis slid back and forth in and out of my mouth as if we were having s*x.


“Mmm…suck. Suck.”


My stomach clenches strangely at the rapidly thrusting in and out of my alter ego. I wiggle my knees and sit up. Her face flushed from the lack of breath.


I look up at him with w*t eyes. His pupils stare back at me coldly. At the same time, a sour smell and a fishy taste spread through my mouth. I could barely breathe as it quickly left my body.


C*m dripped from her mouth onto the floor.  Before I knew it, his cell phone was ringing loudly.


“Hello? Mmm.”


A relaxed voice answered, and he watched in disbelief as he got dressed. He paused at the sound of a woman’s voice, which sounded more faint than that.


His heart sank. He hung up the phone, went to his room, and came out, pulling on a shirt.


“I have to go to work.”


“…At this hour?”


I stagger to my feet. I stared at him, my eyes asking what he was talking about.


“Do you ……have a girl?”


He tilted his head as he buttoned his sleeve.


“Why would you want to know that, and even if I did, what would it matter to you?”


I put my metal watch on my wrist in disbelief. It was a mess. Puss on my thighs, c*m on my chin, and my mind.


“Go home on your own.”


I stare after him as he grabs his robe and walks out the door. Something must have gotten in his eye. The way they keep watering.

error: Content is protected !!