Why You Should Be Responsible For Him - Chapter 5 Part 3

A particularly large full moon rose. It displayed its cold and serene appearance without any obstructing clouds.

The moonlight was so soft on the streets that I didn’t even think about the sun. Since the rainy season had passed, the heat was gone and the humidity wasn’t too bad, so the night air felt good against my skin.

The street leading to the academy was permeated with the calm silence of the night, intoxicated by the night’s energy. The only sounds were Ash’s footsteps as he matched my pace and the muffled chatter of small talk.

The streets are wide, and Ash walks closer than necessary. The backs of our hands kept bumping. Every time I took a step away, he kept taking two steps closer, until I was walking a ridiculous distance away and pressed up against the wall.

“Can you step back a bit?”

“I’m scared.”

“It’s so bright like daytime, but I’m not scary. Don’t worry, even if a ghost pops out, it won’t take the prince away.”

“What if you get taken away, senior?”

“Then it’s just bad luck.”

Ash was startled and grabbed my hand tightly between his fingers.

“I won’t let that happen.”

“Hey, I’m sweating. Let go.”

The weather was clear. Not a drop of sweat, but the gentle breeze even swayed the hair.

Ash’s casual touch made me tense, and it wasn’t a feeling I disliked. I must have finally lost my mind to be nervous around Ash. I blurted out in embarrassment.

Ash gently stroked the back of my hand with his long fingers. “Can’t I hold it a little longer? I’m just worried,” he said.

I thought it was funny that a grown man would be so worried about being taken by a ghost, but it was Ash again, so it made sense. I might have thought it was a little cute.

“You were confidently making noise in front of Prince Judiver.”

“But his not a ghost, senior. You won’t be taken away.”

A chuckle escaped me. It was more likely that the First Prince would stamp his foot with power than a ghost would.

“Isn’t the temperature difference too severe?”

“How can I treat you the same as other people?”

“What’s that? It sounds like saying I’m more special than Prince Judiver, your brother.”

Ash didn’t reply and just lifted the corners of his mouth, giving a small smile.

“Are you going back to study now?”

“That’s why I came out early. I thought maybe I could stay overnight in the dorm, but reality doesn’t allow it.”

“You can study in my palace.”

“I told you, I didn’t bring anything like books, so it’s not possible.”

Ever since he left Judiver’s place, Ash had been insistent that he could stay the night at the palace with her, despite several rejections, he didn’t give up and continued pleading. After firmly saying, “No!” with a stern voice a few times, he finally shut his mouth.

However, it didn’t mean I was planning to drag Ash to the dormitory. Since it had been a while since he visited the family, or rather, the palace, I thought Ash should naturally stay there for the night. That’s what I believed.

But Ash said, “Alright. Let’s go back, senior,” as he followed me.

Ignoring the servants who were bringing the carriage and smiling without a hint of regret, he walked beside me. When I asked why he insisted on walking when it would be more comfortable to take the carriage, he answered, “I had too much for dinner,” with pure sincerity.

Fortunately, the palace and the academy were close enough to walk without any difficulty. Today, with the bright moon and pleasant weather, it seemed like a reasonable choice.

“If you want, I can get the same thing for you.”

This persuasion was something I heard too often within the palace.

I didn’t need a new book. Since the new book had no written notes, it was impossible to complete my studies perfectly. Besides, the things I didn’t have were already borrowed from the library and patiently waiting for me in my dorm room. There was no reason to study with a new book in the palace.

Ash continued repeating his words with a tone full of regret, not letting go of his clenched hands. By now, I should be annoyed, but for some reason, he just seemed pitiful.

* * *

In the blink of an eye, we arrived in front of the dormitory, and Ash lightly brushed the well-maintained grass with his foot.

“You have to let go for me to go in.”

“Okay.”

Contrary to his words, the grip on our clasped hands tightened.

“Ash.”

“Senior, studying is really important for you. I know that too. I understand everything, but…”

“…….”

Ash’s voice gradually faded.

“I shouldn’t be disturbing you… but why am I being so greedy today?”

With those words, a long silence followed, and our conversation didn’t continue for a while.

Between Ash standing outside the dorm and me stepping inside the entrance, our hands are tugging at each other.

I couldn’t let go, and Ash couldn’t bid farewell, leading to this ambiguous situation that seemed to linger for a while. The silence settled over us, more comforting than awkward, bearing the weight of numerous conflicts.

It was Ash who broke the seemingly endless silence.

“Thank you, senior. For putting up with my foolishness. I’ll go after seeing you inside.”

I was the first to let go of his hand. Our intertwined fingers slipped through each other, and Ash’s hand lingered in the air for a few more seconds. Like he was feeling the afterglow.

“I’ll be waiting.”

“What?”

Even though Ash’s slightly messy bangs covered his eyes, making it difficult to read his expression, the calm voice suddenly increased in tone, indicating that he was somewhat surprised.

Wait. Why did I say that? Was it because I felt a sense of sympathy for his persistence, tirelessly pleading, or was it the pitiful tone that lacked confidence, resonating with my heart?

Or maybe it was the long, white fingers of Ash’s hand that had slipped from mine, eager to meet mine again.

Without fully understanding my own actions, I did what my heart told me to do. I hurried up to my dorm room, stuffed the books I needed to finish today into my bag, and ran down the stairs at a brisk pace to stand in front of Ash again.

“Haah.”

A rough breath escaped my lips.

What’s going on? Why am I in such a hurry?

Ash snatched the bag out of my hand and used his free hand to brush a stray strand of hair from my cheek.

“…Senior?”

“Let’s go, to your room.”

“…….”

“I’ll have a make-up lesson after I’m done studying, I don’t care if it’s dawn, just call me.”

Ash made a cave with his mouth and smiled brightly.

Suddenly, I had the impulse to see his eyes. With a flick, I gently swept Ash’s blonde hair with the back of my hand. He looked at me with genuinely happy eyes, staring at me with pure joy encapsulated within a transparent wall.

Prickle.

The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I even had the odd thought that the reason the full moon was unusually bright tonight was to show me these eyes.

* * *

“Don’t approach within a 1-meter radius. Don’t talk, just quietly breathe. It might take some time to finish all of this, so feel free to close your eyes and rest.”

“Okay.”

I flicked a quick glance at Ash, who smiled back at me with a lively expression, then turned my attention to the book in front of me. It’s not until later that I have any regrets or questions about barging into Ash’s dorm room.

Contrary to my fears, Ash hadn’t even been in the room. Since I was completely immersed in my studies, I couldn’t tell if this was my room or his. In fact, I feel like I’m getting more of the book into my head than usual.

After achieving satisfactory results, I closed the book and turned my stiff neck and shoulders.

The expensive table looked foreign, familiar but not mine. I reminded myself that this was Ash’s dorm room and turned my upper body to look around.

He didn’t fall asleep, did he? Should I wake him up?

A pristine white quilt adorned with intricate gold-leaf embroidery peeked out from the lump on the bed. I gently moved the chair, making sure to tread softly as I shifted my feet.

Ash lay on his back, the covers reaching up to his neck, peacefully asleep, occasionally letting out a soft breath. His tousled hair cascaded untidily over his face.

His eyelashes are really long.

The sight of the sleeping Ash was so captivating that it was almost mesmerizing. He appeared like a noble and beautiful saint, peacefully asleep within the unreachable realm of the divine. It felt as if even the gods had been tempted, eventually trapping this pitiful and pure saint.

“Seriously, why am I staring at him for so long?”

I blamed myself. My plans to wake him up and give him a make-up lesson crumbled to dust the moment I saw his sleeping face. It almost felt like a sin to wake Ash, who was sleeping so comfortably.

The night was still young. I’m getting sleepy myself.

I should go back now.

As I tried to divert my gaze from Ash and turn my body, a ghostly hand suddenly grabbed my wrist.

“Are you done?”

My eyelids slowly lifted, focusing on the sleepy wall, which now adjusted its focus to capture my face. The deeply sleepy voice was dangerously seductive. If I were an ignorant teenage girl, my cheeks and ears would have quickly turned red.

“Get some more sleep. We’ll make up for it tomorrow.”

“Are you leaving?”

“Yeah.”

“You can sleep here.”

“I’m not comfortable.”

I pulled Ash’s hand that was gripping my wrist.

“Come on, go to sleep. See you tomorrow.”

As I turned away from Ash, he hastily threw off the blanket and stood up. Still half-asleep, his eyes were half-closed.

“Let’s have a make-up lesson. I can do it.”

“You look like you’re going to die from sleepiness.”

“Don’t go. I want to have a lesson with you, senior.”

Ash tried to pull his feet out of bed, and I pushed him down with a firm grip on both shoulders. He must have been less awake, because his long, broad upper body moved as easily as a fluttering flower petal.

“Your eyes are red now.”

Ash, who had been staring at my face, squeezed his eyes shut and opened them, then wrapped his arms around my waist. I was holding onto his shoulders, so my upper body was inclined toward him, but the force of his arm around my waist forced me to lie on top of him.

I could feel Ash’s chest rising and falling as it pressed against mine.

“Let’s sleep together, senior.”

The hand on my waist moves up to press on my shoulder. Naturally, my head falls toward Ash’s collarbone.

Thump. Thump.

I could feel his heart beating through our skin.

Was the heart supposed to beat this fast?

Without thinking about the need to get up immediately, I listened intently to the rhythmic thumping of our hearts. The pulsating sound… it wasn’t unpleasant.

“You look tired.”

“Senior, you look tired too. The bed is spacious.”

The bed might be spacious, but why am I trapped under your body?

“Stop talking nonsense and let go.”

“Senior, please.”

Ash urgently embraced my body. The sudden intense pressure made me gasp, as if my body would break.

“Heh!”

Ash jolted in surprise, releasing his grip on my wrist. Seizing the opportunity, I grabbed onto his sturdy chest, using it as leverage to rise.

Startled, Ash examined my face with eyes that had lost their drowsiness. It wasn’t like I had suddenly become a terminally ill patient receiving a death sentence, but the way Ash’s eyes nervously stared over my face made it seem as if I had.

“I’m not dying.”

“If you die, I’ll die too.”

“Even if I do, no one will care.”

“No. I can’t. I need to see how badly you’re hurt…….”

As Ash tried to stand up, I pressed my palm against his forehead.

“Don’t you dare.”

“Ha, but… I’m worried.”

Following his rhythm might make the night slip away completely. After waving my hand reassuringly and explaining it’s okay, I finally left Ash’s bed.

“Good night, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

If I’m going to tutoring or returning to my dorm, there should be some justification for my impulsive actions. However, it’s become a situation beyond my expectations.

Since entering the academy nearly five years ago, I’ve followed my planned path. Today’s unexpected actions are difficult even for me to explain.

Well, these kinds of days happen. I can’t think of anything else other than brushing it off with clichéd words.

As long as I watch out for getting entangled with Ash like today…….

“I’ll survive!”

“……?”Top of Form

I turned around, and Ash was holding the white comforter tightly in both hands.

“I’ll buy your time, senior.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ll pay you by the hour.”

“So, are you asking me to go to sleep?”

Thinking I misheard, I asked again, and Ash nodded very seriously.

“I’m not a babysitter, I’m not sleeping with you. Get in bed, close your eyes, turn off the lights, and I’ll be gone……..”

“I’ll pay you ten times the tutoring fee.”

I probably didn’t mishear. My sleepy eyes suddenly lit up.

“And I’ll give you one and a half times your nightly allowance.”

“Do you have another pillow?”