The Season I Loved You Without You - Chapter 95 - R19

CHAPTER 95

Ga-eul suddenly opened his eyes. The light coming through the window barely illuminated the room, but it was a place he knew all too well. This was his rooftop room. He looked around, but she was nowhere to be seen. Ga-eul sat on the bed and laughed in a hollow way. Then, he touched his lips and muttered to himself.

“…It was a vivid dream.”

It was early dawn before sunrise. He tried to lift his body, which felt lighter than yesterday but was startled by a presence in the bathroom. He made eye contact with the person standing behind the bathroom light. Ga-eul stood up abruptly, staring blankly at Go-yeo, and then hugged her, again confirming that this was reality.

“…Say something to make me believe this isn’t a dream.”

“I love you, Yoon Ga-eul.”

Go-yeo’s low and straightforward confession made Ga-eul close his eyes tightly and hug her even tighter.

“I knew it, this is a dream.”

Go-yeo chuckled and embraced Ga-eul ‘s back as well.

When they kissed on the hill, Go-yeo noticed that Ga-eul felt unusually warm. She thought she should take him home, so she put him in the car. Even in his feverish and delirious state, he didn’t let go of her hand.

Answering all her questions, he kept slowly closing and opening his eyes as if he was finally relaxing.

The moment Go-yeo saw Yoon Ga-eul there, she realized without asking that the incident at the hotel with another woman was a misunderstanding. Nonetheless, she asked just in case.

‘Yoon Ga-eul, are you seeing anyone right now?’

Despite his feverish and delirious state, he opened his eyes wide and shook his head vigorously.

‘No. Absolutely not. It’s only you, Han Go-yeo.’

‘I understand. For now, just sleep.’

She took him to his rooftop room where he still lived and laid him down. She felt a bit helpless, having never taken care of someone sick before. She opened the desk drawer to see if there was any emergency medicine.

At the top of the neatly organized drawer was a notebook with a worn-out bracelet and Go-yeo’s name written on it in tidy handwriting. After glancing at it briefly, she found the medicine in the bottom drawer.

She helped Ga-eul sit up and pushed the medicine into his mouth. After making sure he swallowed it properly, she laid him back down on the bed.

She wiped his sweat-soaked body with a towel dampened with lukewarm water and changed his clothes. Even in his sleep, Yoon Ga-eul was searching for Han Go-yeo. Sitting by the mattress, she held his hand. In the dimly lit space, only the faint light and warmth existed.

His room had changed very little since before. She didn’t want to think about what that might mean. She couldn’t tell if she should be happy or sad about this state of being preserved as if in a time capsule.

But at that moment, Go-yeo felt that being with Ga-eul filled the void left in one of the four seasons, making it seem like the stopped clock was finally ticking again.

Ga-eul still had a fever, and while Go-yeo tried to get him to sleep, he was as restless as a child. Ga-eul seemed terrified that Go-yeo might disappear if he closed his eyes even for a moment, refusing to fall asleep. Go-yeo lay facing him, looking into his softly glowing eyes. Despite his mature appearance, Yoon Ga-eul still harbored a boy within him.

“I missed you.”

There were so many things she wanted to say to him, but this was all that came out. Her voice, slightly hoarse in the quiet room, resonated. Ga-eul smiled softly, brought Go-yeo’s small hand to his lips, and planted gentle kisses on it, resting his cheek against it.

“…Go-yeo. Han Go-yeo.”

“Yes.”

“Just calling your name and hearing you respond makes me happy. It means you’re here with me.”

“I’m sorry…”

It felt awkward for her to apologize, which meant she had treated Yoon Ga-eul poorly without feeling sorry. However, she couldn’t forget the hurtful words she had said to him on their last day together, words intended to wound him.

“For what?”

‘Have you ever thought it was natural for us to be able to face each other like this? Haven’t you considered it?’

‘…Who do you think you are? Your hurt means nothing to me.’

She murmured while gently stroking Ga-eul ‘s face.

“I shouldn’t have said such cruel things to you…”

Ga-eul shook his head as if to say it was all right now. He remembered every moment he had spent with her. That moment was also vividly etched in his memory, but more than her words, he recalled how much those words had hurt her, making it a more regretful memory.

Ga-eul touched a long strand of hair falling from Go-yeo’s shoulder.

“Your hair has grown a lot.”

“Yes… Do you remember even that?”

“Of course. I remember everything.”

Ga-eul slowly brushed her cheek with the back of his hand, then fiddled with her lips.

“Where you like to be kissed, all of it.”

His low voice lingered in Go-yeo’s ears. Feeling Ga-eul ‘s touch rise over her body, she slowly closed her eyes.

Ga-eul covered her body with his, finding her lips over and over again. They kissed each other deeply as if trying to claim each other’s lips. Her skin near his lower back seemed to wipe away all thoughts from his mind. He kissed the faintly vibrating blue vein in her neck.

“Ah…”

He wanted to feel her in every cell of his body, holding back his ragged breath. He let out a gasp at the sensation of her soft br*ast filling his hand. He kissed her neck, inhaling her long-missed scent, feeling like he had finally returned to his rightful place. He left a mark on her white neck as he moved down.

He reached behind her and unhooked her bra. The room was dimly lit by the streetlights, but it felt as if a full moon was shining. He brought his lips to her pink, erect n*pple.

“Haa.”

Go-yeo couldn’t suppress her moans any longer; they slipped out through her teeth. Ga-eul gently nibbled on her pink nub, making erotic sounds as he sucked on it. He could see her chest rising and falling rapidly, and he felt her grip tighten on his shoulder. He kissed his way down her side.

Her br*asts glistened with saliva, and the area he had just stripped of panties was w*t with her fl*ids. He kissed the soft skin of her thigh, his hand moving down to caress the area around her womanhood.

The soft, moist skin felt delicate under his touch. He kissed the spot with a small mole, making a kissing sound, and pressed down on her thighs as he licked her deep red flesh. Feeling her breath hitch as he drank from her seemingly endless well, he wrapped one hand around himself and gently stroked the tight entrance of her body.

Even though he often pleasured her with his mouth, every time he entered her, it felt like pushing into a tight space, and today he was worried about it again. The slick entrance was flushed.

“Ah!”

Go-yeo moaned, arching her back as she felt the sharp pain of being penetrated. Ga-eul embraced her trembling body and pressed his lips against hers. Holding her close, he pushed in, feeling the tight grip around him. He gritted his teeth as he pulled back and then pushed in again until he reached the entrance.

He began to move like a low growling beast, each thrust becoming more intense. Go-yeo shook her head, overwhelmed by the increasingly fierce movements. She screamed, unaware of her voice. Their p*bic bones collided, and their bodies melded together. She moved her hips in sync with his thrusts, fl*ids splashing on her thighs as Ga-eul ‘s breathing grew even more ragged.

“…It feels so good.”

Sweat dripped from his hair onto Go-yeo’s stomach. He clung to her, feeling as though he was falling into a chasm of pl*asure with every movement.

“Ah!”

With a short, sharp cry, Ga-eul released his heat deep inside her. He moved a few more times, prolonging the moment, and then held her tightly, pressing in as deeply as he could. His movements were deliberate, intending to leave his mark.

He kissed her forehead, her damp eyelashes, her sweaty temples, and her lips, which still exhaled excited breaths. He left tiny kisses along her jawline.

They relished a brief moment of silence at the peak of their pl*asure. The young deer had turned into a ravenous beast.

Go-yeo stayed on his narrow mattress until morning. While Ga-eul prepared for work, he continued to kiss her. In the past, she might have fallen asleep here, completely exhausted, but she couldn’t miss work at her new job.

Ga-eul drove her to her villa before heading to work. He repeatedly told her with a bright smile that he would see her again later.

Highly annoyed, Go-yeo glared at him. From dawn till morning in that short time, he drove her as if he would never see her again. Starving beasts were stubbornly licking and eating flesh. Legs were staggering, and the entire body felt like it had been struck. Already suffering from body aches, meeting Yoon Ga-eul seemed to exacerbate them.

Only in the morning, when Sumi suspiciously looked at her as she entered, did she go to the shower room, leaving her gaze behind. Red marks all over her body were provocative. Moreover, the entrance was itching from the long-awaited s*x. Enjoying the marks left by Yoon Ga-eul, she took a shower.

* * *

Even in autumn, with the hot weather during the day, Hyun-joo briefly nodded at the completely concealed attire of Go-yeo’s body.

“Ma’am, do you have an appointment with Mr. Yoon Seung-hyun today?”

Go-yeo nodded at Hyun-joo’s words.

“If you have a preferred place, I can make a reservation.”

After a moment of hesitation, Go-yeo said it would be the Future Hotel Eternal. When Hyun-joo left the study, Go-yeo buried herself deeply on the couch and closed her eyes. Her body was so tired that the brilliant violin sound was scattered like sand washed away in water and was not heard well.

‘I saw you at the hotel. Can I ask who that man is?’

Go-yeo hesitated in response to Ga-eul’s question. Just a moment ago, Ga-eul had proudly mentioned that often goes to the suite room with his current team members at the hotel. Rather than any answer, Ga-eul hugged her, burying his face in her neck.

‘Honestly, I’m so jealous and upset.’

It was a murmuring sound, but Go-yeo understood Ga-eul’s words. Go-yeo gently brushed Ga-eul’s eyebrows, nose, and lips that came into her embrace. And she lightly kissed those lips.

‘I only kiss Yoon Ga-eul.’

Ga-eul smiled as if his heart had been relieved.

‘Forever?’

In response to Ga-eul’s joke filled with sincerity, which in the past she would have outright refused or ignored, Go-yeo playfully replied with a smile similar to Yoon Ga-eul’s.

‘Let’s see about that.’

‘I’m greedy. A chance to receive kisses from Go-yeo for a lifetime.’

After that, Yoon Ga-eul naturally overlapped with her again. Just thinking about it made her lower abdomen tingle. Frowning at her condition, she drank strong coffee.

* * *

Before meeting Seung-hyun, Go-yeo found Jin-yu, who is the head of the Future Hotel. It was their first meeting since they first met in France two years ago. Meeting Jin-yu, who had just come up from Jeju Island, at the lobby, Go-yeo glanced at her with a slightly unpleasant expression as they entered the elevator together.

Go-yeo looked around Jin-yu’s office. It had a unified white tone, giving a modern and clean feeling, with one of Choi Ma-ri’s paintings hanging on the wall. As she carefully observed the boy and girl riding a boat in the painting, the secretary brought in tea and left.

“You look tired.”

“Yeah. A bit…”

Jin-yu furrowed her brow, pressing her temples and briefly closing her eyes before opening them again.

“You should have come later.”

“No, it’s not that serious.”

Go-yeo sat across from Jin-yu, sipping on warm lemon tea.

“… How are things with Director Lim these days?”

Jin-yu had been doing reasonably well with Director Lim when they were in France.

“We broke up. Recently.”

At the straightforward response, Go-yeo’s one eyebrow shot up momentarily before settling back down. Truthfully, she had somewhat anticipated this conversation. Song Jin-yu hadn’t been the type to struggle excessively due to work.

Jin-yu calmly recounted the events. They had been together for quite a while, and given their age, marriage discussions had naturally arisen from those around them. Jin-yu herself had been considering marriage, but he felt burdened by the thought of joining the Song family and ultimately decided to part ways.

Go-yeo hadn’t come to hear about this grim ending. She hadn’t come for advice, either, but simply to gain some insights, and now she felt a bit drained.

“Is marriage really that tough?”

Go-yeo chuckled softly, throwing the question back at Jin-yu.

“Are you asking as the divorced one?”

“My bad.”

Placing the slightly cooled tea on the table, Go-yeo spoke with a hint of detachment.

“Marriage… It’s tougher than you’d think. Living with someone else isn’t exactly a walk in the park. Enduring with mere affection has its limits.”

At Go-yeo’s sardonic response, Jin-yu sighed wearily, shaking her head. Go-yeo cast her gaze down as if in contemplation, then spoke crisply.

“It would be nice to set a good precedent, but if it’s hard, why bother?”

“What precedent?”

“It’s there. Something like that.”

After a brief pause, Jin-yu’s eyes widened. Go-yeo chuckled softly, bid farewell to Jin-yu, and rose from her seat before leaving the office.

“But about marriage… You need love for that. Without it, it’s even harder.”

As she said those words, she realized she hadn’t thought of Moon Ji-hyuk when she recalled married life. Unconsciously, she envisioned a future that could come with Yoon Ga-eul, feeling uplifted as she headed towards Éternal.

Upon arriving at the place Hyun-joo had booked, she found herself there half an hour earlier than planned. While gazing out the window for a moment, she received a message from Ga-eul.

– Have you eaten?

He explained that he had taken a brief break during lunchtime to contact her. His team usually rotated eating lunch, and whoever was waiting always watched the monitor, he said. Rather than the monitor, he wanted to see Go-yeo, and he laughed. Hearing his laughter, Go-yeo couldn’t help but smile. Just as she heard a knock on the door, Go-yeo knew she should probably end the call with Ga-eul.

“Oh, Ms. Go-yeo. You’ve arrived first.”

Confirming the call had ended, Go-yeo stood up and greeted Seung-hyun. He wasn’t late, but he seemed disappointed to not have arrived first. Go-yeo needed to console him.

“I was a bit surprised to hear from you first.”

Go-yeo took a sip of the coffee in front of her as she glanced at Seung-hyun. Perhaps, in many ways, Yoon Seung-hyun could have been the best choice for Han Go-yeo. His background, abilities, and the recognition from those around him—all seemed to support that. At the very least, meeting someone like him would mean not having to hear absurd claims of sponsorship.

But is that all there is to life? For Han Go-yeo, it didn’t work that way. Her heart belonged to someone else, and she couldn’t be with the person in front of her, no matter how much others approved or how perfect it seemed.

Suddenly, Go-yeo recalled her first kiss with Yoon Ga-eul. During that time when she thought she was filled to the brim with Moon Ji-hyuk, that moment marked the beginning of being filled with Ga-eul. It was a time when Ga-eul pierced deep into Han Go-yeo. No matter how much she tried to erase it, it was as if it had settled too deeply to be removed.

Ga-eul had occupied a profound place in Han Go-yeo’s heart for a long time. Only now did she fully realize it.

“Mr. Seung-hyun, I called you here to say this. I think it’s time for us to stop here.” 

Go-yeo said, somewhat taken aback, unsure of what more to say.

“I know you’re a good person, but I have someone else in my heart. I’m sorry.”

She felt compelled to say this, remembering the leeway Han Go-yeo had given him when they first met. She acted positively, which might have been seen as a sudden rejection, so she wanted to offer a reasonable explanation.

Seung-hyun expressed his disappointment in the end but didn’t take any further action. Left alone in the space after he left, Go-yeo glanced at the centerpiece on the table. Made of orange lilies and white astrantias, the round centerpiece exuded a hint of autumn. Go-yeo lightly touched the beautiful petals.

After work, Go-yeo drank beer on Ga-eul’s rooftop, where no one was around. The night view hadn’t changed much since she last saw it. Go-yeo pondered how to proceed with the different Ga-eul. Ga-eul’s mother had expressed her wish for a normal person and a regular relationship, but meeting again without saying a word felt like a betrayal.

She didn’t intend to get married right away, but she thought his mother needed time to prepare her heart. The same was true for Sang-moon and Yeong-ran. For the same reason, she couldn’t repeat the breakup. She didn’t want to do that with Yoon Ga-eul.

Drinking beer, she looked down the street and saw Yoon Ga-eul leaping out from the main road. He had taken off his jacket and was running with all his might.

Yoon Ga-eul always gave his all to Han Go-yeo. Now, his heart, which had been taking root, had grown into a flourishing tree. Realizing his clear feelings, Go-yeo felt somewhat ashamed. The rooftop door opened, and she faced Ga-eul running toward her with a sunny face.

Autumn had come to her in full bloom. It was Ga-eul who had completely fallen in love with her.