The Season I Loved You Without You - Chapter 88

CHAPTER 88

Ji-hyuk had received a report from his secretary, Ho-seok, a few days ago that Go-yeo had left the hospital lobby with another man. Ji-hyuk sneered, calling him crazy, and ordered him to bring her here.

Ho-seok, unlike last time, worried that Ga-eul might strongly refuse, but contrary to his concern, he followed Ho-seok willingly.

Ga-eul passed through the hospital lobby, where he had visited several times before, and entered Ji-hyuk’s room. As soon as he opened the door, his eyes met Ji-hyuk’s. Ga-eul knew that the contempt in Ji-hyuk’s eyes was still there, but it had never affected him then or now.

Ji-hyuk brushed his hair back and laughed mockingly.

“Don’t you have any sense?”

Ga-eul understood what Ji-hyuk meant. He was referring to Ga-eul coming to the hospital following Go-yeo.

“I don’t care about my feelings getting crushed.”

Ji-hyuk, looking anxious, put a cigarette in his mouth and then held it in his hand again.

“…Why are you so obsessed with Han Go-yeo? Because she’s rich? Because she’s pretty?”

“Did you like her for those reasons? Does that question mean anything to you now?”

Ji-hyuk silently looked into Ga-eul’s mysterious eyes and then looked away.

“No. But Han Go-yeo is completely mine. So, it’s unpleasant that you have such feelings for her.”

“Do you feel better saying that? Han Go-yeo is Han Go-yeo; she’s not anyone’s possession.”

Ji-hyuk, irritated by Ga-eul’s presumptuousness, felt even more annoyed.

“It’s not something someone who’s never had can say.”

Ji-hyuk looked at him with a self-satisfied expression, trying to detect any change in Ga-eul, but there was no sign of agitation.

“Do you want to believe that?”

Ji-hyuk, despite being in a hospital, lit his cigarette. Ga-eul frowned at Ji-hyuk’s rudeness.

Ga-eul’s eyes were filled with certainty and an air of superiority as if he knew Han Go-yeo in a way Ji-hyuk never could. Ji-hyuk, shaken by Ga-eul, reminded himself of his purpose for calling him.

“You returned the settlement money. You should have kept it. It would have been helpful for living.”

“I thought I had no reason to accept it since I also participated in the assault.”

Ji-hyuk sneered at the ridiculous answer.

“What will you do if I tell Han Go-yeo?”

“I don’t think you will.”

“Why not?”

“…Because you still like her. I thought you wouldn’t want to hurt someone you like. It’s sad to be hated by someone you love.”

‘Sad… But if you love, shouldn’t you have them regardless?’

Ji-hyuk muttered a low curse at the unconvincing words, sounding like Jesus’ teachings.

“Stop talking crap. I’ll live with Han Go-yeo forever anyway. Watch and see.”

Ji-hyuk finally noticed Ga-eul’s previously steady eyes trembling slightly. He felt a strange joy and smiled lazily.

“Go away.”

He decided to end this tedious meeting, throwing away the cigarette butt he barely smoked. Just as he turned his back happily to look out the window, Ga-eul’s voice interrupted.

“You know that’s not what Go-yeo wants. That’s just your selfish desire.”

Ji-hyuk turned around slowly. The sunlight coming in through the window shone brightly on Ga-eul. Ji-hyuk squinted to see his face. Ga-eul stood there, resolute and mature beyond his years, unlike Ji-hyuk himself. Feeling a burning inferiority, Ji-hyuk hid his discomfort with a low scoff.

“So what?”

“You’re truly a self-centered person. Why do you force your thoughts on Go-yeo even though you know what she wants?”

Han Go-yeo’s desires. Ji-hyuk didn’t know what Han Go-yeo wanted right now. Even if he did, he couldn’t grant it. Han Go-yeo’s frequent mention of their complete separation was something Ji-hyuk couldn’t accept.

“When you made that extreme choice, Go-yeo was sad. Because of what she had said. If something had happened to you, she would have lived with guilt all her life. Is that what you want?”

Ji-hyuk answered as if it were obvious.

“Yes. I want that. To make sure she never forgets me. Even if she’s unhappy, she stays with me.”

“You’re strange. Wanting to see the person you love suffer.”

Ji-hyuk approached Ga-eul with uneasy steps. Their mutual resentment was clear at close range.

“So you’re saying you love Han Go-yeo enough to let her go? So, even if I take her away, you’ll still like her? Until she looks at you again? Staying silent and waiting is your love and consideration?”

Ga-eul kept his mouth shut. Ji-hyuk, taking his silence as agreement, laughed loudly at Ga-eul’s noble intentions.

“That’s something from fairy tales.”

Despite Ji-hyuk’s sarcasm, Ga-eul remained firm, solely expressing his desire to protect Han Go-yeo.

“I don’t care if you mock me. Just don’t make her suffer using your feelings.”

Ji-hyuk stood there for a long time, laughing. Despite hearing a string of what he considered bullshit, what bothered him more was that Ga-eul’s words struck him deeply. He realized he had never treated Han Go-yeo like Ga-eul did. He thought breaking her down and keeping her was love.

Ji-hyuk acknowledged that the best consideration he could offer was to let go.

* * *

Go-yeo spent time hiring a manager to run the boutique and saying goodbye to the boutique staff. She also pressured Tae-chun to stop club operations if she didn’t return to Korea, putting him in charge.

During this time, she received occasional contact from Ji-hyuk and his secretary. Though she didn’t visit the hospital, they kept in touch.

Before her departure, Go-yeo visited Ji-hyuk. Entering the room, she saw him looking out the window.

“You seem to be recovering well.”

Ji-hyuk turned to look at her only then.

“You’re here?”

He was in a state of full recovery, walking bit by bit. He had regained the weight he lost before the accident and was rebuilding his muscles through rehabilitation. Despite his effort, his expression was lethargic and filled with ennui.

“Chairman Moon Joo-pyeong offered me the position of Vice President of Construction.”

“That’s great.”

Go-yeo’s indifferent answer made Ji-hyuk smile faintly.

“But I don’t want it.”

“It’s good to have someone who wants you.”

“…And you? Still don’t want me?”

“Yes. Still. And always will.”

Ji-hyuk tried not to feel hurt. He had practiced this countless times while not seeing her. His voice was relaxed.

“Why are you so sure?”

Go-yeo looked at him as if wondering how he didn’t know.

“No matter how much you pretend not to remember, it doesn’t make me angry anymore. So I have no emotions left to exchange with you.”

Ji-hyuk laughed hollowly.

“I won’t even ask why you did it. I guess you had your reasons, but they don’t matter to me anymore. Just being with you is exhausting and painful. Even the good memories are fading.”

“…You’re annoying.”

Go-yeo laughed softly.

“Yes, I know.”

Go-yeo looked out the window and murmured calmly.

“Work as the chairman suggested, or find something you truly want to do. When you’re fully recovered, go surfing, skateboarding, or horse riding. Those are all things you love.”

“You don’t want to see me again?”

Go-yeo and Ji-hyuk’s gazes met in the air. He looked like a child about to be abandoned by his parents. Go-yeo smiled faintly.

“I’m going to France. I don’t plan on coming back for a while.”

“What if I go there?”

“That’s your choice, but it has nothing to do with me.”

“…What about that guy?”

Go-yeo, was surprised that Ji-hyuk mentioned Ga-eul.

“That’s also none of your business.”

“Really?”

Go-yeo looked at him, wondering what he meant. Ji-hyuk avoided her gaze, pursing his lips before speaking again.

“I met him after seeing him at the hotel.”

Go-yeo frowned at his words. Ji-hyuk hesitated several times before continuing.

“I gave him money, but he didn’t take it, so I mentioned you. I told him you liked doing it from behind and forced myself on you when you refused. I said I’d tell you if he didn’t take the money, so he did.”

Ji-hyuk’s eyes reddened, and his voice trembled, but Go-yeo didn’t notice. Despite the shame and disrespect he had inflicted on her, she felt no anger towards him anymore, just incredulity.

“…Are you insane?”

She couldn’t imagine how much that had hurt him.

“But his pride was wounded, so he returned the money through my secretary later.”

Go-yeo looked at him indifferently, as if any words were meaningless. Even the embellished memories she shared with Ji-hyuk were eroding like rocks weathered by the wind.

“Is that why you’re telling me? Because he returned the money?”

“…Yes. So leave.”

Go-yeo looked Ji-hyuk straight in the eyes. His expression, naturally indifferent, revealed he was lying. He was trying to push her away with harsh words. Although curious about his sudden change, she didn’t care enough to ask.

“Goodbye, Han Go-yeo.”

Her long-time friend and love, Moon Ji-hyuk.

“Take care.”

Go-yeo responded plainly and left. Walking down the hospital corridor, she realized their long and arduous time was completely over. The love between Han Go-yeo and Moon Ji-hyuk ended like this. Even if she met him again later, there would be no love between them. Now that he was gone, it felt like she was empty inside, having given him all her heart and soul.