The Season I Loved You Without You - Chapter 87

CHAPTER 87

Ga-eul was bedridden for an entire week. He collapsed after getting drenched in the monsoon rain and was found by Eun-jae, who was worried about not hearing from him and came to his house. Eun-jae brought him down to Gwangju.

Hee-sook was horrified by Ga-eul’s condition, which looked as if he might die at any moment.

‘…Go-yeo, don’t go.’

Caught between dream and reality, Ga-eul muttered, and Hee-sook heard him. Seeing Ga-eul suffer like this, Hee-sook thought it was a harsh thing to do but judged that it was better for Ga-eul’s future to endure this hardship now.

Even Hee-sook was not immune to first love. It was intense and passionate. However, human emotions were transient and faded over time.

Hee-sook took a bowl of porridge she had made herself to Ga-eul’s room. His fever had subsided, but he was still lethargic and slept all day. She woke her son.

“Ga-eul, wake up. You need to eat something before you sleep.”

Ga-eul opened his eyes with difficulty and looked around to see where he was. He sighed shortly and sat up.

“Thank you.”

“Of course. My son is so sick….”

Hee-sook’s heart ached to see Ga-eul’s pale face.

Ga-eul moved mechanically. It didn’t matter what was going into his mouth.

“…Ah.”

At Ga-eul’s faint groan, Hee-sook approached him closely.

“What is it? Are you in more pain? Should we go to the hospital?”

Ga-eul smiled weakly at her concern.

“No. It’s exam period now, and I can’t take my exams. Then I won’t be able to get a scholarship next semester….”

Hee-sook felt genuinely upset at Ga-eul’s words.

“Ga-eul, why worry about that? I’m healthy now, so I can work. And I’ll find a way to pay for your tuition, so don’t worry.”

“But I’m only good at studying, and now I can’t even do that….”

“It’s just one exam. What’s the big deal? And so what if you don’t study well? Where else can you find such a handsome and kind person like you….”

Hee-sook didn’t know what people in that world thought, so she worried first. She hesitated and carefully brought up the topic, wondering if the boss had done anything harmful to Ga-eul.

“But Ga-eul, nothing happened at school, right?”

“…No. I think I just overworked myself lately.”

“Rest this vacation. You’ve never really rested before.”

Ga-eul gave Hee-sook a faint smile and nodded. He felt sorry, but he wanted time to pass quickly.

* * *

Go-yeo was steadily preparing to leave for France. She would stay in Paris for a while for work, but afterward, she planned to be elsewhere. It might be in France or another country, but she didn’t plan to return to Korea for a while.

Returning home at dinner time, Yeong-ran welcomed Go-yeo. She told him that Sang-moon was on his way. Go-yeo sat down with Yeong-ran and shared a simple pre-meal tea with her. She awkwardly but sincerely conveyed her thoughts to Yeong-ran.

“I’m sorry for causing you so much worry. I didn’t do anything good for you….”

Yeong-ran looked at Go-yeo with a bit of surprise but then warmly smiled.

“…Why say such things? Children don’t have to be good to their parents to be considered good. Parents are always a place their children can return to. Even though I didn’t give birth to you, I’ve always thought of you as my daughter. I wish for you to live happily and healthily.”

Go-yeo’s nose tingled at Yeong-ran’s words. Usually, she would have handled it calmly, but her current state was not good, and her emotions were easily swayed.

“Ah… I’m sorry.”

Go-yeo tried not to cry, but tears welled up. Even though there was a reason for her sadness, she couldn’t say it because she knew that speaking it out loud would consume her. She had said she was okay, but perhaps she wasn’t. Go-yeo clung to Yeong-ran and cried like a child.

Yeong-ran didn’t know why Go-yeo was like this but felt she somewhat understood. It was different from when Director Moon Ji-hyuk was injured recently. It was the sorrow of complete loss. She hugged Go-yeo tightly and patted her back like comforting a child.

* * *

Ga-eul expected a complaint about the previous assault, but time passed without incident. He simply filled his spare time with tutoring and part-time jobs. Despite Hee-sook’s urging to stay at home, Ga-eul didn’t leave his rooftop room.

He habitually took in the sight of the house every time he came home, chasing the remnants of her presence. Sitting at his desk, he looked at the Red Congo plant. Despite his efforts, one leaf was withering. No matter what he did, it didn’t seem to improve.

Ga-eul lay his head on the desk and gently touched the withered leaf. His eyes, empty and vacant, welled up.

“…Go-yeo.”

He felt like he was wandering in a barren land under the blazing sun. He kept telling himself he would find an oasis eventually, that things would get better. But no matter how much he repeated it, his ingrained thoughts were inevitable.

He missed her, worried if she was unwell, and wondered if she was doing fine without him. And if she was, he didn’t know if he should feel relieved or hurt.

Ga-eul opened a workbook to prepare for his lessons. A piece of paper fluttered out, and Ga-eul froze when he picked it up.

It was a name he hadn’t seen before, but he had a feeling he knew who it belonged to. The handwriting was neat but rounded.

Ga-eul found even her handwriting beautiful and smiled faintly. He felt an impulsive desire to go find her, but he had promised to move on. No matter what her true feelings were, he couldn’t burden her by showing up unannounced.

He planned to visit a student’s house for tutoring and then head home to help Eun-jae with her studies. On the way, he encountered an unexpected person and stopped in his tracks.

“…Hello, Vice President.”

Ga-eul greeted Ji-yeon with a bow, briefly glancing at her noticeably larger belly. Ji-yeon smiled at Ga-eul’s slightly surprised gaze.

“Oh, Ga-eul.”

Ji-yeon had just come from a nearby obstetrician. She could tell at a glance that Ga-eul wasn’t in good shape. His eyes were red from either lack of sleep or crying, and he looked pale and on the verge of collapsing.

Ji-yeon hesitated to let Ga-eul go and instead took him to a nearby café.

“You look very worn out.”

Ga-eul gave an awkward smile at Ji-yeon’s blunt comment. He had tried to hide it but hadn’t succeeded.

“How have you been?”

“Since the break started, I’ve been busy with tutoring and part-time jobs.”

“…Ah, it’s break time.”

Ji-yeon nodded and took a sip of her lemonade.

“Well, I’m not usually one to pry into other people’s relationships, but I feel it’s necessary to share some things because it’s a pity and something you should know.”

Ji-yeon hesitated but decided to speak, remembering Ga-eul’s gaunt face and Go-yeo’s empty eyes.

“Your mother came to the boutique. You didn’t know, did you?”

“…What?”

The unexpected revelation made Ga-eul question if he had heard correctly.

“Your mother came to the boutique and met Go-yeo.”

“…When? Why?”

“It was before you two broke up. You know why better than I do.”

Ga-eul’s face paled as he processed Ji-yeon’s words, and she sighed lightly.

“There were rumors at school about you having a sponsor. No matter the truth, no parent would stay silent hearing such things.”

“Ah…”

Even standing still, Ga-eul felt the darkness creeping in. Unfamiliar words and incomprehensible sounds echoed in his ears.

“Go-yeo must have felt the same. I’m not saying this to blame your mother. She did nothing wrong. But to be honest, you two were just at that level.”

Ga-eul lowered his head, feeling a surge of frustration. He wanted to refute the characterization of his relationship with Go-yeo as ‘just that level.’ But facing reality, he remained silent. It was the truth, but it made him feel more suffocated and heavy.

“To be honest, I was angry and disappointed in both you and your mother. Knowing Go-yeo, she must have silently endured hearing those things. But Go-yeo didn’t tell me because she didn’t want to speak ill of you. Foolishly.”

Feeling ashamed, Ga-eul bit his lip before speaking up.

“…How is Go-yeo? Is she okay?”

The moment he said her name, his voice trembled.

“She’s not physically hurt, but she’s not in a great state either. And the reason I’m telling you this is that Go-yeo is leaving for France the day after tomorrow. There’s no set date for her return. She plans to stay there for work and doesn’t intend to come back to Korea anytime soon.”

Ga-eul stared blankly at the empty seat Ji-yeon had vacated. He couldn’t remember if he had said goodbye.

It shouldn’t matter if Go-yeo was here or elsewhere since they couldn’t see each other. But the thought of her being in another country made him uneasy.