The Season I Loved You Without You - Chapter 75

CHAPTER 75

Ga-eul realized that his complacent actions without significant meaning could give the other person hope. He decided he must be more careful in the future to avoid such incidents. Above all else, he wanted to be confident about this aspect with her.

His heart is solely, completely directed towards her.

He took a deep breath of the evening air as summer approached. The intense heat of midday was gone, and it was pleasantly cool, perfect weather for a walk. He naturally thought of their outing to Hangang Park. Like ordinary couples, they rode bicycles, held hands while walking, talked, and laughed.

At that moment, he wanted to see her so badly. His pace quickened until he started running.

Ga-eul arrived at the club where Go-yeo was in a single breath. Though she said she was there for a second round with boutique staff, he was there because he wanted to see her, despite the impropriety.

As he arrived at the club and was about to contact Go-yeo again, he met Hee-kyung, who had stepped out for a moment. Hee-kyung was surprised to see Ga-eul suddenly appear, but then led him to the room. Hee-kyung, already drunk, was delighted to see Ga-eul after a long time and rambled on, but Ga-eul didn’t mind much.

“Ga-eul, you like the boss, right?”

Despite her slurred speech, Ga-eul understood perfectly. It was a statement made with certainty, not to probe or confirm.

“I knew it. The boss is an inescapable black hole. I knew it would turn out like this from the first time I saw it.”

Though it was drunken rambling, Ga-eul felt embarrassed for some reason. If not for the dim hallway of the club, his blushing would have been noticeable.

“No matter how inevitable it was, you should have managed your feelings better. How did you end up liking someone like the boss? Countless people like the boss, what are you going to do? And the boss isn’t an ordinary person…”

Her last words sounded like a complaint.

“That doesn’t matter. Whether she knows or not doesn’t matter.”

It wasn’t something to say to a drunk person, but a bit of the feelings he’d been suppressing came out.

“Just as a human naturally breathes on Earth, that’s how much I like her. Unconsciously, naturally. As if it’s the most natural thing.”

As if he would die if she were gone. He didn’t care if Hee-kyung heard this or not.

Before meeting Go-yeo, Ga-eul didn’t know love. But he didn’t want to label her as his first love in the typical sense. He didn’t think he couldn’t control his emotions just because it was new to him. It was an emotion he would inevitably feel whenever he met her. If his heart could contain the universe, he wanted her as much as the size of that heart.

He desired and coveted her, but he tried hard not to express all of it. He suppressed his growing feelings, inch by inch. He didn’t want to show everything and risk her turning away due to the overwhelming intensity, nor did he want his feelings to seem trivial if he exposed them completely.

The room Hee-kyung led him into was darker than Club Freya and was noisy with its own music in addition to the music from the stage. There were quite a few unfamiliar faces at the various tables. More importantly, she was nowhere to be seen.

While Ga-eul looked around, Hee-kyung took him to Ji-yeon. Ji-yeon, who was chatting with someone at the innermost table, stood up excitedly when she saw Ga-eul. Just as Ga-eul was about to say something, she pulled him onto the small stage in the room and handed him a microphone and a remote control. At Ji-yeon’s abrupt request to choose a song, he waved his hand in refusal.

Ga-eul was flustered by the eyes fixed on him from below the stage. Ji-yeon smiled and whispered in his ear.

“Although Go-yeo likes classical music, she also enjoys old songs. She stepped out for a moment, but she’ll be back soon.”

She then pressed the remote control to start the song. Despite feeling embarrassed, Ga-eul held the microphone tightly. He tried to recall the last time he sang in front of people; the only memory he had was from a high school music performance exam.

* * *

Go-yeo, on her way back to the room after visiting the restroom, stopped in her tracks when she heard a familiar voice. Ga-eul was talking to Hee-kyung. It was amusing to hear him speak so earnestly to a drunken Hee-kyung who probably wouldn’t remember anything.

Realizing the weight of his feelings, she felt an inexplicable tightness in her chest. She sighed lightly and watched the awkward Ga-eul following Hee-kyung into the room.

She knew that in a relationship where the balance of feelings is off, one person ends up sacrificing to maintain the equilibrium. She couldn’t fully accept Ga-eul’s feelings, but she couldn’t bring herself to discard them either because she had feelings for him too. As someone who rarely missed out on beneficial opportunities, she decided to take a chance on him, at least for now.

Entering the room, she immediately saw Ga-eul standing awkwardly while singing. If he didn’t want to sing, he could have refused. She didn’t know how he ended up singing, but it was no coincidence that he was singing a song she often listened to. Though it was dark, she guessed his face and neck were probably noticeably red.

Hearing a familiar song in his voice felt novel. She wondered if the song had always been this sad. His voice, usually different, was pleasing to listen to. Their eyes met.

She saw Ga-eul’s eyes widen slightly and noticed his voice trembling a bit. Still, he steadfastly sang through the second verse, a display of his usual determination.

When she told Ji-yeon she was leaving, Ga-eul followed her out. They left the club together and walked through the busy university district in the late evening. Despite the late hour, the area was bustling as if it were daytime. Walking ahead, Ga-eul gently took Go-yeo’s hand. Relying on the warmth from each other’s touch, they walked, feeling as if they were in their own world amidst the crowd.

Ga-eul looked at Go-yeo and smiled faintly. Somehow, these ordinary moments made him incredibly happy. The fact that he could see her when he wanted and hold her hand if he wished. Sometimes she felt so far away, but when he was with her, those feelings melted away like snow. Common sense didn’t seem to apply when he was around her.

“You sing well.”

He was visibly flustered by her words.

“Ah…”

He had completely forgotten the recent events while thinking about her. Her gentle smile wasn’t teasing, but it made him feel shy. His face grew hot, and he turned his head, pretending to clear his throat, trying not to look awkward.

Go-yeo, with a playful mind, wanted to see Ga-eul’s blushing face, but the late evening breeze that brushed her hair felt pleasant, so she let it pass.

They sat on a bench in a small plaza, and Ga-eul sat beside her. The bench, not lit by the streetlights, allowed them to see each other’s faces clearly while remaining mostly hidden from passersby. It was the perfect spot for couples to kiss.

Despite being in the bustling university district, there was an unusually excited atmosphere. Maybe they were influenced by that energy. Or perhaps they simply wanted to. Go-yeo pulled Ga-eul’s cheek and kissed him. The familiar yet thrilling sensation ran down her spine.

Yoon Ga-eul’s warmth was always concentrated on his lips, always hot. The kiss, which felt like it would melt her entire body, left her breathless. Even if Go-yeo initiated, Ga-eul always took the lead at some point. His tongue moved languidly inside her mouth, sending shivers through her body.

Panting, Go-yeo was the first to break the kiss. Their lips were wet with each other’s saliva. Ga-eul gently wiped her lips and whispered.

“I want to kiss you elsewhere.”

Go-yeo couldn’t tell if she had corrupted this young man or if this stag had always been like this. He switched on his instincts at any given moment.