The Season I Loved You Without You - Chapter 69

CHAPTER 69

Ji-hyuk raised his heavy eyelids, then slowly closed them again. It was an unfamiliar place. His head was spinning, and his body felt heavy. He glanced briefly at the IV needle in his arm before closing his eyes again. The blue tint outside the window indicated it was still dawn. He had no sense of how long he had been lying there.

He had no memory of coming to the hospital, but the last image he vividly remembered was Han Go-yeo’s back as she walked away.

“Han Go-yeo…”

His voice echoed in his ears like the sound of metal scraping. He lay still for a moment before drifting back to sleep. The doctor came in and explained that he had been hospitalized for two days due to respiratory shock. His secretary had come and gone, leaving Ji-hyuk alone.

It should have been a time to grow accustomed to it all, but he still couldn’t shake the tumultuous dreams of the past.

Days of Seung-ok alternating between lashing out at Ji-hyuk and then clinging to him in tears had reduced him to his weakest self. He felt like his mind was unraveling whenever she pushed him psychologically, wishing sometimes she would just physically hurt him instead.

Even when he felt suffocated, he couldn’t help but embrace his weeping mother. Back then, he didn’t know how to handle the confusion, so he swallowed it down like a bitter lump.

Boring.

Even his dreams were boring to Ji-hyuk now. Though there was no one to witness his hollow laughter, he covered his face with his arms. His hospital gown was slightly damp from his sweat, but he chuckled nonetheless. He thought of himself sinking deeper into the water like a leaking boat, unable to control himself, and it felt like the serene silence.

His world. His Go-yeo.

As Ji-hyuk recalled the silent expression, he felt suffocated again. It was unbelievable, but he had to believe it.

They’re over.

Even listing nonsensical words couldn’t make it feel real. It felt like returning to a time when he was powerless and could do nothing.

Ji-hyuk returned to work immediately after being discharged. Seung-ok had only sent a message urging him to recover quickly upon hearing about his son’s hospitalization. She was busy searching for someone to replace Yoon-young for Ji-hyuk’s remarriage.

He didn’t even have the energy to laugh bitterly anymore. Ji-hyuk mechanically went about his work. He went to the UAE for a groundbreaking ceremony and mingled with the country’s dignitaries. They showed considerable interest in MMK’s building plans, and it resulted in several contracts, marking MMK Construction’s establishment in the Middle East.

Ji-hyuk’s standing at MMK Construction solidified, and the media focused on his every move amidst the ongoing prosperity. He watched his own news on TV impassively, swallowing down the rising bile habitually. Sleeping pills and whiskey were within reach whenever he stretched out his hand.

Suppressing thoughts, suppressing sudden fluctuations of the heart. Living like that, it seemed like it would be okay because the world that had been built with Go-yeo would eventually come to an end.

Information about Yun Seung-ok had been forwarded to Representative Do through Yoon-young. Although it was fine to directly expose Seung-ok’s corruption to the media, it was done to further entangle her in power and attract more attention from the press. 

Ahn Pil-jo was also expected to be sued for assault. When the former executive at MMK International became incapacitated in an accident, it was found that Ahn Pil-jo had been involved, and evidence linking him to Seung-ok was also found in the investigation. Whether Seung-ok had unwavering trust in Ahn Pil-jo was uncertain, but Ahn Pil-jo had left behind audio and video files containing all of Seung-ok’s information. Among the many documents, there was also an investigation into the relationship between Seung-ok’s father and her grandmother, which revealed a messy relationship. 

That was the problem. Besides that, there were also thorough investigations into Seung-ok dating back to her time in the United States. Even though he knew about Seung-ok for a long time, why did he stay silent?

“It’s not even funny.”

At that time, maybe he thought he couldn’t control it, but it seemed he was going to go along with Seung-ok’s wishes as far as marriage was concerned. There might even have been scenarios of marrying and divorcing. He still felt like he was in Seung-ok’s hands. This time, he felt nauseous.

Ji-hyuk furrowed his brows with a dry face as a thin ringing echoed in his ears. He buried himself deeper into the couch. When he operated the remote with his skeletal hands, Debussy’s moonlight flowed quietly.

Thoughts he had suppressed like holding his breath surged like a flood.

What if he hadn’t met her? What if the child had been born and Han Go-yeo had been by his side? He doesn’t know. He just missed Han Go-yeo so much that it made him angry.

Damn, Han Go-yeo. Annoying Han Go-yeo.

* * *

Go-yeo unfolded this season’s S/S catalog while looking at the scattered sketches on the desk. There were Ga-eul’s photos in the middle. Although it didn’t completely capture the feeling of being on-site, it was a good enough result for Ms. Song to covet.

Yoon Ga-eul, who resembled spring, was here. She brushed the ground as if stroking Ga-eul. It was unlikely, but the paper that contained him felt warm. Thinking of him, Go-yeo completed a few more sketches.

She went downstairs to the second floor and picked out a few clothes that would suit Ga-eul. Among them was the light blue jacket she had seen in the catalog. She asked Jin-young to put the shopping bag in the car and went to find Ji-yeon. 

Ji-yeon said her appetite had returned and her binge eating had stopped lately, so she was happy. She said it was okay to have a cup of coffee a day and happily drank a light vanilla latte. Since it was already afternoon, it was time for coffee. Jin-young brought macarons from a nearby dessert shop and went into the vice president’s office.

Ji-yeon was on the phone. As the signal to wait quietly sounded, Go-yeo crossed her legs and sat quietly in the chair in front of the desk. She seemed preoccupied with selecting designs and negotiating production costs for the new branch opening.

Go-yeo knew well that Ji-yeon’s true value showed when she was busy and had a lot of work. Perhaps it would be tough until the opening, but she thought it would get better afterward, gazing out the window.

“What’s up with that unexpected smile?”

Ji-yeon, who had finished the call, narrowed her eyes and looked at Go-yeo. Go-yeo thought Ji-yeon was very quick-witted. But as if it was nothing, she shrugged her shoulders and gestured toward the macarons. Ji-yeon, still suspicious, sat across from Go-yeo and ate the macarons she had brought.

“Seems like things are going well.”

“Yeah. So hurry up and pass me the designs.”

Go-yeo nodded vaguely. Then she saw Ji-yeon eating her third macaron.

“Did you go to the hospital again?”

“Yeah. It’s the first time I’ve been to the hospital this often in my life. There are a lot of tests and all.”

“Does he like it?”

“At first, he was taken aback, but lately, he’s been paying more attention.”

Ji-yeon wiped her hands with a tissue and looked at Go-yeo with the same suspicious eyes.

“What’s up? Is there something?”

She’d meant to give her some lighthearted nuance about Ga-eul, but suddenly she couldn’t find the words to say to Ji-yeon. Instead of saying anything, Go-yeo left the office after advising her to take care of her health. For some reason, she couldn’t speak freely.

She wasn’t sure what to say. When she met Moon Ji-hyuk, they were young, so she casually chatted without much thought, but as she got older, introducing someone to others became burdensome.

So, she was hesitant about meeting Yoon Ga-eul and discussing the future. She had hardly ever thought about Yoon Ga-eul and the future. She figured that as time passed, the future would come. She had only vague thoughts.

Go-yeo now knew that dreaming of a bright future was futile, and she was tired of discussing constructive plans with someone. She felt sorry for Yoon Ga-eul in that regard.

* * * 

It was early summer. The midday sun was scorching, and even a slight movement made it feel hotter. In the afternoon with some clouds, Go-yeo held hands with Ga-eul and strolled along the Han River Park.

Ga-eul had taken the initiative to come out, but Go-yeo was not particularly interested. Except for when she injured her leg, she always wore dress shoes, so wearing sneakers felt awkward. With the heels gone, Ga-eul looked even taller.

There were many people riding bicycles in the park. A girl who looked like an elementary school student was learning to ride a bike, with a man who appeared to be her father supporting her from behind. The girl kept smiling, whether because she found the somewhat difficult bike riding fun or because she enjoyed spending time with her dad. Go-yeo smiled at the sight, finding it heartwarming.

Ga-eul, who had been watching Go-yeo, asked.

“Do you want to ride a bike?”

“Me?”

Go-yeo widened her eyes in surprise, and when Ga-eul nodded in response, she hesitated for a moment before nodding as well.

“I don’t know how.”

“I’m good at it. I’ll teach you.”

After a bit of hesitation, Go-yeo nodded. Ga-eul had brought a bike suitable for her to rent. Go-yeo heard the theory that by pedaling, one could maintain balance with the momentum and that if you were about to fall, you should move the handle towards the direction you’re falling, but it didn’t quite register.

When Go-yeo got on the bike, Ga-eul held her from behind, desperate to prevent her from falling. Go-yeo somehow felt like she understood why the girl had smiled so much—it wasn’t because of the bike she couldn’t ride well, but because of the person she was with.

As Go-yeo laughed innocently, Ga-eul’s face also lit up with a smile.

“I feel like I’m going to fall. Don’t let go.”

Even though Go-yeo expressed her concern, Ga-eul found her cute and just laughed. Although she hadn’t quite mastered how to balance with her sports coordination, she was exhausted. Despite the sudden bike ride draining her energy, she felt good.