The Season I Loved You Without You - Chapter 50

CHAPTER 50

“Dad pretends like nothing’s wrong too well.”

Go-yeo murmured, inspecting her neatly manicured nails as if it were nothing.

“Stop pretending like you don’t know everything and avoiding it. How long are you going to treat me like a child?”

Sang-moon became pensive. He took a sip of the tea in front of him and licked his dry lips. He had thought such a day would come, but now that it had arrived, words escaped him. Yet Sang-moon had always been quick to judge, and that hadn’t changed. It was a task of silence and turning a deaf ear that couldn’t last forever.

“You know very well that your grandfather was a gangster in Mokpo. He was famous in the Jeolla Province at the time and even ran several entertainment establishments. Your grandmother indeed used to work in one of them.”

Sang-moon paused for a moment, his face blank, before speaking again.

“Ji-ho is the daughter of that business rival. Ji-ho also worked at her father’s establishment, but it was only in the kitchen. It wasn’t looked upon favorably at the time, but Ji-ho was in a difficult situation back then. I also met Ji-ho there. That’s all. I helped Ji-ho quit her job afterward. There was no need for you to know about it.”

“I’m an adult, I have the right to know… Who exactly is Uncle?”

Sang-moon felt he could tell everything to Go-yeo now.

“He’s not just someone loyal to Dad.”

Sang-moon hesitated for a moment, but now that things had come to this, he felt he had to disclose it.

“Tae-chun is Ji-ho’s half-brother, but it wasn’t until he and Ji-ho grew up that they realized they were related. Tae-chun said he wanted to keep it a secret from you until the end…….”

“Why, because he thinks I’ll be disappointed if I find out he’s my uncle by blood?”

As Sang-moon nodded in silence, Go-yeo seemed a bit puzzled. They had decided to keep it a secret altogether because revealing Tae-chun’s blood relation would involve delving into her grandmother’s past and even her mother’s past.

“Do you think I see myself as a fool? … Then what about that woman, Yun Seung-ok?”

Sang-moon twitched his eyebrows as if he didn’t like the idea.

“I’ve been looking into her, but haven’t found any leads yet.”

Would she have suffered less if she already knew? Now it seemed like meaningless speculation, but enduring that time wouldn’t have been easy either way. Moon Ji-hyuk had wanted to free himself from Yun Seung-ok by any means necessary. However the process went, it would have ended up that way.

She wondered if there were other secrets known only to Yun Seung-ok aside from this reason. Go-yeo realized that she was trying to find valid reasons for her actions. Yet, it didn’t erase the humiliation she had felt at the time. Go-yeo closed her eyes tightly and shook her head. She decided not to think about Yun Seung-ok and Moon Ji-hyuk anymore.

* * *

Ji-hyuk hadn’t been going to work for days. He stayed home, drinking and passing out drunk every day.

He lost weight, his facial contours became more defined, and bruises appeared here and there. Unable to sleep deeply, dark circles formed under his eyes.

Everything seemed meaningless. Whether at work or with Yun Seung-ok, it was just noise. Even in the bright daylight, when he pulled aside the blackout curtains, sunlight streamed in. He squinted at the intense light.

Sitting heavily in the recliner, he looked out at the garden. Strangely, only Go-yeo’s back came to mind. He realized he rarely saw Go-yeo’s back whenever they met.

‘I thought I loved Go-yeo more. But maybe not.’

“No, that’s not it.”

Considering his current state, it wasn’t Go-yeo who had been abandoned, but Ji-hyuk.

“Yeah, Go-yeo abandoned me.”

He tilted his head and looked out the window languidly, then picked up the phone. When the other person picked it up, he handed it over.

“Tell him to come over here.”

The person on the other end of the line said yes and hung up.

Ga-eul received a call from Ji-hyuk’s secretary. Though he had no reason to meet him, since Ji-hyuk wanted to see him, he felt compelled to comply.

As he stepped out of the house, he opened the back seat door and urged him to get in. There was a determination in him to take him with him, no matter what.

‘Is this how he operates?’

They arrived at a strange neighborhood with a large gate. The secretary opened the door and led the way. As they entered the spacious garden, the smell of alcohol hit them. Ji-hyuk was standing by the window in the living room, his back to them. The bright midday sun poured in. Somehow, it seemed like only his place was dimly lit.

Ji-hyuk turned slowly, brushing off ash onto the ashtray on the table. Then he glanced briefly at Ga-eul before looking out the window again.

“Your name is Yoon Ga-eul, right?”

“Yes.”

Yoon Ga-eul. Ji-hyuk rolled the name around in his mouth. Even the name had an emotional feel to it. He took a long drag on his cigarette.

“Why do you think I called you?”

“I don’t think it’s a question for me to answer.”

He replied firmly and cheekily, furrowing his brows. Ji-hyuk found Ga-eul’s casual boldness amusing and took a sip of his drink. Their eyes met. From the last time they met, he felt he wasn’t the typical human you’d encounter. Go-yeo must have had a reason for keeping him by her side.

Freshness.

It was highly likely that Go-yeo, who was always lethargic and indifferent, would have been greatly affected by this stimulation. But so what? Even if Go-yeo was affected, why did Ji-hyuk care?

“Do you know? Go-yeo has a particularly weak neck.”

Ga-eul frowned at his words.

“That’s rude.”

Ji-hyuk approached Ga-eul. As he got closer, the strong smell of alcohol wafted over. His eyes gleamed with an unknown exhilaration. His low, growling voice felt eerie.

“Rude? I’m not usually like that, you know? And you know?”

And whispered into Ga-eul’s ear like a devil’s whisper.

“If you do it from behind, Go-yeo will collapse.“

Ga-eul looked at Ji-hyuk with a shocked expression, as if wondering how he could say such a thing. He clenched his fists tightly, to not act foolishly. He knew he was deliberately provoking him, but his disgust towards him was separate from that.

Ji-hyuk observed Ga-eul’s trembling fist. As he refilled his empty glass, he asked.

“Are you angry?”

Though Ji-hyuk’s tone was playful, he looked at Ga-eul as if to glare at him.

“I want to kill you right now, but I’m holding back. So, you should too.”

Even in the face of Ji-hyuk’s chilling threat, Ga-eul remained composed.

“I thought Go-yeo would only have sex with me for life. But when I found out he slept with someone else, that day… I forced myself onto Go-yeo.”

“You crazy bastard!”

In the end, Ga-eul couldn’t tolerate Ji-hyuk’s provocation. He grabbed him by the collar. His eyes burned with anger, and his hands trembled as he held onto him. However, Ji-hyuk casually drank, looking at him with a smile that seemed joyful.

“Yeah, Go-yeo called me a crazy bastard too. Maybe she’s right.”

As Ji-hyuk approached him, now just a hand’s breadth away, he observed Ga-eul’s eyes as if observing an interesting animal.

The anger burning in the young one’s eyes wasn’t just from the heart. It stirred up long-forgotten emotions, clear and fierce, prompting them to resurface.

This kid truly cared for Go-yeo. That’s why Ji-hyuk found it even more repulsive.

Was this the first sincere confrontation in a while? So intense, yet Go-yeo wouldn’t even know? Pretending not to know might be the right thing to do. But how long could they continue to ignore it?

“Does one of us become a winner if one of us dies here?”

Ga-eul swallowed hard, cooling his heated head. He reluctantly released his grip on Ji-hyuk’s collar, his hands still trembling. Ji-hyuk turned around and looked at the garden.

“This house with a garden was where Go-yeo and I planned to live after getting married. We wanted our kids to play in the garden. We shared more than we thought. Many years, countless memories. And we thought about the future.”

Of course, everything was twisted now. But they intended to revert it. Ji-hyuk met Ga-eul’s gaze.

“So whatever you’re thinking, keep it to yourself. I’ll generously understand that much.”

Then he casually tossed a stack of checks on the table towards Ga-eul. They hit his chest and scattered onto the floor.

“Take it. It’s compensation for the assault at the hotel.”

Ga-eul looked at the scattered checks on the floor.

“I don’t need it. Is there anything else you want to say?”

Ji-hyuk narrowed his eyes and looked at Ga-eul. Then, he took a step closer and whispered into Ga-eul’s ear as if murmuring.

“You’re quite proud, aren’t you? It would be wise to take it. Otherwise, I’ll tell Go-yeo everything that happened today. Not leaving out a single detail.”

Ga-eul could hardly believe his words and just grinned, astonished. What kind of person could say such things so casually? Wasn’t he too cruel? He couldn’t fathom why he would say such insulting words to the boss.

“Am I… not able to do it?”

His gaze indicated that calling Go-yeo right away and telling her wouldn’t be out of place.

“You’re really… strange.”

Could someone who was once loved, or rather, still loved, by someone do this? Ga-eul couldn’t understand Ji-hyuk’s thoughts at all, and he didn’t want to.

“I understand.”

Ji-hyuk smiled contentedly and flicked the scattered checks on the floor with his foot. Then he gestured with his eyes, indicating he should pick them up. It seemed like he was telling him to bend down and pick up the scattered money in front of him.

Ga-eul pursed his dry lips and slowly bent down to pick up the scattered checks. Ji-hyuk watched his every move. He noticed his trembling hands as he picked up each check. And then, he felt a slight improvement in the feeling of being trapped that had been piercing him. Ga-eul met his gaze again.

“Keep your promise.”

Bowing to someone was nothing. But it was hard to endure being treated like this. Wanting her as freely as he wanted while treating her so recklessly.

For a moment, flames sparked in Ga-eul’s eyes, but he regained his composure.

“Of course.”

Turning away, Ji-hyuk directed his sharp words toward Ga-eul.

“Remember why you have to do this. Your feelings are so trivial.”

Ga-eul stopped in his tracks. He could have just ignored it, but he didn’t want to do that, at least not to him.

Ji-hyuk met his gaze with his clear, innocent eyes. They held a firm and resolute determination. That was all, but for some reason, an inexplicable sense of defeat washed over him. So he tilted the glass filled with sediment and hid his turmoil.

“No. That’s not true. And the value of my feelings is determined by me. It’s none of your business.”

Ji-hyuk silently watched Ga-eul leave.

None of his business. Had he become someone who was none of Go-yeo’s business anymore? Ji-hyuk chuckled as if finding it amusing.

Then, he threw the glass he was holding. It shattered with a dull sound, shards scattering everywhere. He muttered curses under his breath and roughly ran his hand through his hair.