The Season I Loved You Without You - Chapter 37 - Slight R19 [TW: Abuse]

CHAPTER 37

“Hide him well. I’m going to kill that bastard.”

Her trembling resembled that of a cornered animal, as if under attack. Go-yeo struggled to free her jaw and hands, but Ji-hyuk seemed unwilling to release her.

“Let go of this!”

“You won’t escape from me.”

“…Are you crazy?”

Even in Go-yeo’s desperate gaze, Ji-hyuk remained unyielding. He pressed his lips against Go-yeo’s, ignoring her attempts to resist. Despite Go-yeo’s struggles, his lips wouldn’t part.

As Ji-hyuk kissed her forcefully, Go-yeo’s mind filled with the conversation she had with Jo Yoon-young just moments ago.

‘The impurity between two people.’

To Jo Yoon-young and the world, Go-yeo was nothing more and nothing less. Go-yeo bit her lips. Ji-hyuk didn’t flinch. Amidst intense contact, Go-yeo barely managed to turn her head away and shouted.

“Don’t do this!”

Ignoring Go-yeo’s resistance, Ji-hyuk continued to hold her down, tying her wrists. Despite Go-yeo’s frantic struggles, there was no mercy.

Go-yeo felt uneasy in this situation. Ji-hyuk’s actions seemed as if he couldn’t even hear her voice.

Ji-hyuk turned Go-yeo around, silencing her screams with his mouth. Pressing her forcefully, he ignored Go-yeo’s desperate struggles. It seemed that only Ji-hyuk could possess Go-yeo. He tore Go-yeo’s black stockings. Tears streamed down Go-yeo’s face.

How could he do this to her?

Undoing his belt, he angrily pushed it aside. Restraining Go-yeo’s resistant movements, he pushed harder. Go-yeo resisted until the end. Pushing until Go-yeo’s toes trembled.

He bit Go-yeo’s lips. It was unclear whether it was blood or her tears that tasted salty. As much as he blamed Go-yeo, he possessed Go-yeo. Holding her waist firmly, he shook her body as a final act, and Go-yeo’s body repeated the motion of being pushed away.

Screams seemed to be faintly heard. He stroked her cheek against the tear-streaked cheeks. Feeling the tightness, he pressed his body closer one last time. Hoping it would settle within her.

“…”

As he pulled back, Go-yeo staggered. Traces of him flowed down the floor from her legs. Ji-hyuk released Go-yeo’s tied wrists. Go-yeo, still dazed, looked at Ji-hyuk and wept. As her body trembled again, Ji-hyuk grabbed her arm to support her.

“Let go.”

Now fully conscious, Go-yeo looked at Ji-hyuk, trying to understand what had happened. She pulled her arm out of his grasp and looked around, shutting her eyes tightly. Something hot trickled down her cheek.

She removed her stockings right there. Barefoot, she went to the table in the room and wiped herself clean with tissues. She threw the tissue stained with his s*men at Ji-hyuk.

“…You bastard. I hope you really die.”

She muttered, glaring at him. As Ji-hyuk approached, he gently brushed Go-yeo’s damp cheek and tidied her disheveled hair. Then, affectionately, he spoke.

“The d*ck that goes into you is mine enough.”

Madman.

Go-yeo fiercely slapped his cheek. Ji-hyuk’s head turned quickly. Ji-hyuk, as if indifferent to such things, looked at Go-yeo with indifferent eyes and smirked.

“Go die, Moon Ji-hyuk.”

Go-yeo walked past him and put on her shoes. There was no need to care about her weak legs. Just facing him now was torment enough. She leaned against the elevator, straightening her face and clothes as her body swayed. She barely managed to walk to the lobby, supporting her crumbling body.

She hid her trembling hands as she stood at the hotel entrance, ready for the hotel staff to bring a car. Sitting in the driver’s seat, she applied pressure to her trembling legs and pressed the accelerator. Her hand holding the steering wheel trembled.

It was as desperate as wanting to throw herself off a cliff. She wiped away tears flowing incessantly. She didn’t even know where she was going. Rushing out of the main road into an alley, she parked as if throwing away the car. She hurried out and retched, bringing up bile.

“Ha….”

Squatting down, she hugged her trembling body. She just wanted to disappear like this.

She walked shakily back to the car. She checked the call log. Who should she call? Her mind wasn’t working properly, so she pressed the call button randomly. The short ringing tone, as if always waiting, was cut off, and the voice of the other person was heard.

“Ga-eul, could you come here?”

-Boss! Where are you? I’ll go right now.

She felt surprised at the cracked voice even from here.

“I don’t know where this is.”

-If you tell me the names of big buildings or anything noticeable around, I’ll find my way there.

Strangely, his desperate voice became soothing. So, for the first time today, she laughed. She shouted out the names of businesses and buildings she saw. Could he find his way here by listening to this? For a moment, she doubted, but she had blind faith that if it was Ga-eul, he would come. He would come to her just like his always straight gaze.

‘Ji-hyuk, do you know what? I slept with another man, not you.’

The relationship that couldn’t even be named had crossed an irretrievable river. It felt strange to receive back exactly what she had tried to hurt Ji-hyuk with. What he had done was a crime and madness, but she understood his feelings. But they had to do this.

The bizarre obsession and determination entangled with each other. So, it was already impossible to cut off all of this and have a reasonably good breakup. Blood had to be shed and wounds had to be seen. If he had been a person who listened obediently, it wouldn’t have come to this point.

‘Die, Moon Ji-hyuk.’

Today, Moon Ji-hyuk would have realized. That Han Go-yeo really wanted to break free from him. Up until now, he probably hadn’t even listened to what she had said, and he had surely been thinking only of bending Han Go-yeo to his will by any means necessary.

Go-yeo closed her eyes. Her tense body relaxed. Now she could feel the tremors all over her body. She fell asleep right there.

* * *

Ga-eul received Go-yeo’s call and rushed out of his house. Her voice, unlike her usual self, kept ringing in his ears. Recalling the things she mentioned, he found a commonplace. After searching the area, he found a familiar car parked between buildings.

‘Thank goodness. I can find it. I’m really lucky.’

With heavily tinted windows, the inside of the car wasn’t visible. He approached and knocked on the driver’s side window. There was no response from inside the car. He knocked again, more cautiously.

“Boss.”

After waiting a little longer, there was a narrow gap in the car door. He saw her looking up from the opened door. Ga-eul naturally bent his knees and sat down. Her reddened eyes, paler face than usual, and irregular, rough breathing seemed precarious.

Go-yeo tried to stand up with trembling legs, but it was no use. Ga-eul caught her as her body began to fall. Supporting her, he moved her to the passenger seat. Her swaying body seemed precarious. He sat her down in the passenger seat and fastened her seatbelt. Go-yeo slowly closed and opened her eyes repeatedly.

“Ga-eul, I’m sorry for calling you so suddenly.”

Her cracked and dry voice. And her unusual apology made Ga-eul’s heart sink.

“No, boss.”

Ga-eul quickly closed the door and got into the driver’s seat. Before starting, he saw Go-yeo, who was huddled up in the passenger seat. Ga-eul turned up the heater and took off his coat to cover her. Inside the car, only her irregular breathing could be heard. His furrowed brow relaxed and then furrowed again repeatedly.

What had happened? Despite knowing not to cross a line, he had instinctively crossed it in his mind. The news of the boss’ scandal was shocking enough to make him look at the picture for a while, but to him, who had crossed the line, it shouldn’t have been anything. 

Even when he parked in the parking lot and turned off the engine, she remained motionless. She was usually responsive even when she fell asleep in the car. He reached out his hand, hesitated, and repeated it several times, then cautiously touched her forehead. She had a slight fever.

‘Should I just take you home like this? Shouldn’t we go to the hospital?’

“Boss….”

Ga-eul gently shook Go-yeo’s shoulder. Her eyelashes trembled, and her bloodshot eyes were visible.

Go-yeo sighed softly and looked around. She touched her head, feeling a throbbing headache.

“Just take me home.”

Ga-eul answered softly that he understood and moved to the passenger seat to open the door. Carefully, he lifted Go-yeo and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, holding her fragile body firmly. She felt as light as if her leaning body might disappear.

Go-yeo, barely seated on the sofa at home, asked Ga-eul for painkillers and water. Looking at her wrist, she noticed bruises and soreness. The vigorous penetration made her uncomfortable and sore.

Seeing Ga-eul’s worried expression as he brought warm water and painkillers, Go-yeo took the medicine from his hand, swallowed it, and wiped the water dripping from her lips with her hand, roughly telling him.

“Don’t kneel anywhere, people might see.”

Ga-eul smiled faintly at Go-yeo’s words but didn’t respond. Feeling as though everything was okay, Go-yeo avoided his gaze.

“…….”

She leaned back against the sofa. She wanted to take a shower in hot water, but she knew it was impossible in her current state.

Since she had taken the medicine, she decided to just sleep. Maybe everything would be better after sleeping.

With Ga-eul’s support, Go-yeo reached the bedroom. Without changing her clothes, she just took off her coat. If she were in her right mind, she would never have done this, but her condition wasn’t good. With heavy eyelids blinking, she relayed to him by the bed.

“You can go now. Thank you for everything.”

Go-yeo pulled the blanket over herself and curled up. Closing her eyes, she felt herself sinking deeply into the bed. She would probably be able to sleep deeply tonight.

A feeling of gradually disappearing. Blood flowed from the place where Ji-hyuk, who had forced himself into Han Go-yeo, had been removed. She was deprived of the warmth and heat he had given her. It felt as cold as if her teeth were chattering.

It was the end of that miserable relationship, abandoned and discarded.