The Season I Loved You Without You - Chapter 29

CHAPTER 29

On early weekend evenings, there were quite a few guests even though it was still early. They went into the room mainly used by Go-yeo. Hyun-joo and Se-jung seemed awkward as it was their first time in the VVIP room, although they often visited the club. They ordered simple food and the drinks that Se-jung and Hyun-joo wanted. They lightly chatted without much memorable conversation while drinking. Hyun-joo, intoxicated, got excited and went down to the stage.

When Se-jung also left with Hyun-joo, Jin-yu, perhaps feeling frustrated, effortlessly said things that weren’t asked.

The other person is a capable and efficient assistant, her brother’s secretary, she said. He’s been together with her brother for a long time, so it’s been quite a while. That meant she had a crush on him for a long time.

Only recently did she realize her feelings and try to persuade and push him into meeting privately, but the other person felt burdened. Well, he’s been close to their family for a long time, so it’s understandable. It would have been nice if the other person was more comfortable, but it’s not as easy as it sounds. She silently poured more drinks.

There was nothing else to say. Go-yeo could empathize with her frustration, but she couldn’t impose her subjective standards.

Honestly, she’d never tried having a crush. Crush and lingering feelings were distinctly different. If crushes were like slightly sour green apples, lingering feelings were like rotten, mushy ones.

The other person was someone you couldn’t meet easily or lightly. Jin-yu wasn’t such a person either. She wanted to see who was shaking Song Jin-yu, the renowned figure.

“Jin-yu, in my opinion, that person will like you.”

For Go-yeo, love itself was now thick and burdensome, but she knew how much Jin-yu wanted that love.

“If I may add one more thing, it’s better to let it out than just keep it bottled up.”

Resentment only makes a person bitter. Like still clinging to Moon Ji-hyuk.

Jin-yu quietly drank, exchanging small talk with Se-jung, who had come up in the meantime. Go-yeo found her phone in the vibration.

“Yeah. What’s up?”

-Oh, boss.

It was Yoon Ga-eull, with a calm voice. She waited for a response.

-Do you have any plans to go out?

“It’s fine. Don’t worry and take a rest.”

Glancing, she saw Se-jung slowly grab the bottle, telling Jin-yu to drink slowly.

– Are you outside?

“Yeah.”

At that moment, Se-jung laughed at Jin-yu’s words. It was about tennis.

– …At the club?

Go-yeo chuckled.

“Where else would I go other than here?”

– If you’re drinking, I’ll go.

“Do you have to?”

– I just want to go.

Okay. Go-yeo replied casually and put the phone back in her bag. She looked at Jin-yu, who was already drunk. Seeing her blurred eyes, she thought she wouldn’t last much longer. She picked up Jin-yu’s phone and unlocked it.

She didn’t know what she was expecting by unlocking it so easily, but she found Lim Jae-ho in the contacts. Mr. Jae-ho. And she pressed it without hesitation.

“Mr. Jae-ho?”

– Yes. Who is calling from Ms. Song Jin-yu?

Sharp vigilance was felt. Jin-yu may have feelings, but is it still burdensome after all? Ms. Song Jin-yu. It wouldn’t be usual to address her like that normally.

Jin-yu was already sprawled out on the couch, leaning back, oblivious to who Go-yeo was talking to on the phone.

“It’s Han Go-yeo. She drank with me.”

– Oh. Are you Chairman Han Sang-moon’s daughter?

As a competent secretary, he seemed to see through things like this.

“Yes. Well, we were drinking at Club Freya, and Jin-yu drank quite a bit. There’s someone here to help, but would Mr. Lim like to come? Or should I handle it myself?”

She’s never put on airs in her life, but this shamelessness seemed unavoidable except for herself.

“Do as you please.”

In Go-yeo’s sluggish but caring voice, the other party quickly responded. With the return of his response, she chuckled, turned off the phone, and tossed it towards Jin-yu. She laid her on the couch and covered her with a coat.

Se-jung poured whiskey into Go-yeo’s on-the-rocks glass.

“I didn’t think you cared much for others.”

There was no room for excuses. It was true, but she couldn’t ignore the pit of Jin-yu’s heart. It was the least she could do after spending time with her today. She thought it would be better to either progress their affair or give up on it altogether.

“Excuse me.”

Not long after, Mr. Jae-ho came into the room. As he came in, Go-yeo observed him after checking on Jin-yu’s well-being and exchanged light greetings. She examined him as if scanning him.

He was a decent guy. Tall and fairly athletic. He was wearing a suit, but without a tie, and with two buttons of his shirt undone, it was presumed he had been casually hanging out with friends.

“Mr. Lim, are you busy?”

“Yes?”

“I have something to discuss, please have a seat.”

At Go-yeo’s firm command, Jae-ho was initially taken aback, but quickly composed himself and sat across from Go-yeo. He looked alternately between Go-yeo and the man next to her. Then he glanced at Jin-yu lying on the other sofa.

“Jin-yu drank too much in a hurry, it seems.”

Go-yeo said lazily, swirling her glass.

“Jin-yu, doesn’t say anything. I urged her to drink quickly.”

“What did she say?”

Go-yeo let out a small sigh, nodding her head slowly as if teasing.

“But I’m planning to introduce a man to Jin-yu. Is that okay?”

Jae-ho furrowed his brow.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know what’s going on. You don’t have to answer me. Anyway, now you know. He’ll be here soon too.”

She smiled mischievously and sipped her drink.

“As you can see, he’s very handsome, youthful. And he has impeccable character and personality.”

“Ms. Han. Why are you…?”

Jae-ho’s words didn’t finish. A knock was heard, and Ga-eul entered. Go-yeo smiled satisfactorily at the sight of Ga-eul standing at the door. It was a perfect outfit for display.

“You came quickly.”

Ga-eul greeted Go-yeo and Se-jung, and also nodded to Jae-ho, whom he saw for the first time. Go-yeo found it amusing how Jae-ho was looking at him with slight disapproval.

“Oh, my business is done now, so take Jin-yu and go. There wasn’t anything special. Just think it over.”

Jae-ho was about to say something but then decided against it. He approached Jin-yu and shook her shoulder to wake her up. Jin-yu blinked as she woke up, then saw Jae-ho and sat up abruptly.

“…What? Why are you here?”

“You got too drunk, so I called him. Hurry and go.”

Jin-yu was bewildered at first, wondering what was going on, but the fact that Jae-ho was there made her feel relieved. As she got up, stumbling, Jae-ho held onto her.

“Han Go-yeo, I’ll contact you.”

Before leaving, Jin-yu brightly greeted Go-yeo. Then she glanced at Ga-eul, who was standing awkwardly, and greeted him before leaving the room.

Go-yeo, having played tennis and drank on top of that, felt lethargic. She buried herself deeply into the couch and stared at the ceiling. The brightly shining chandelier was dazzling.

‘Another day passed like this.’

Suddenly, she felt overwhelmed by how to live her life going forward. Others might call it whining, but she felt pathetic living day by day, unable to help it.

Hyun-joo, who had just come up on stage, greeted Ga-eul cheerfully. His chattering voice only added to Go-yeo’s fatigue, so she furrowed her brow. He excitedly recounted what happened today to Ga-eul. 

‘Well, he’s someone who won’t be shaken off no matter where you put him. It’s the right timing.’

Go-yeo put her glass on the table and got up. This should be enough to cover her losses in the bet. She told Se-jung and Hyun-joo to have fun enough before leaving.

Go-yeo remained silent throughout the ride home. She knew Ga-eul’s gaze was on her, but she closed her eyes. When they arrived at the parking lot and the sound of the engine stopping was heard, she finally opened her eyes.

She smiled a bit too brightly at him. It was a sentiment that contained her wish not to tarnish him any further.

She could understand why Ga-eul would come to the club even on his day off. It was that kind of feeling that someone who had passionately liked someone could understand. Although Go-yeo still had Moon Ji-hyuk, she had sex with Yoon Ga-eul. If he had been someone like Kang Seung-hoo, she wouldn’t have felt any petty guilt.

“Take care.”

“…Boss.”

As Go-yeo was about to leave, Ga-eul called out to her cautiously, barely grabbing onto the sleeve of her coat.

“What I told you last time, it’s not just a one-time thing. It’s possible anytime.”

Go-yeo felt a bitter feeling. That poignant face was saying that it could happen anytime.

“I hope you stop talking about that now.”

“Ho, was I not good enough?”

Despite her heavy heart, Go-yeo felt a pang of sadness at the infinitely light content of his words. She sighed.

“No, it was quite alright. I’m sure Ga-eul knows it’s not like that.”

Ga-eul’s eyes flickered rapidly as if he couldn’t think of anything else to say. Even in the dim car, his eyes shone as brightly as jewels.

“Now, if I do it with someone else, I’ll do it, but I won’t do it with Yoon Ga-eul.”

Go-yeo didn’t feel sorry for bringing up such a topic. His eyes blinked rapidly in surprise. It seemed like he wanted to ask why, with a sad expression on his face. Seeing him speechless, he seemed lost in thought for a moment. Then he spoke urgently again.

“I’ll just take it lightly. Boss, don’t feel pressured.”

Everything seemed dizzying today, including seeing Kang Seung-hoo. Go-yeo was angry at herself for making him say such things.

“Ga-eul, you should value yourself more. You’re naturally like that. Don’t do this because of me. There’s no value between you and me.”

Ga-eul’s despairing gaze became even more desperate.

“You can pretend I’m him, even though ……I’m different enough to be incomparable.”

What had made someone as pure as him look so desperate and miserable? She couldn’t find the words to say.

To him, who wasn’t harmful, someone like Han Go-yeo was as poisonous as it could be.

Kissing and having sex with Yoon Ga-eul, spending time with him—all of it was good. But it was harsh for her to not be able to accept the sincere feelings he deeply held. So, she decided to let him know where he stood.

“Ga-eul, why are you going this far? Do you like me?”

She asked him something she already knew. There was no other way but to make him less miserable. She said it as if humming a song.

“No? Don’t do that kind of thing.”

Cruelly, she made it as if it had never existed before he could say it. Go-yeo turned away from Ga-eul and whispered as she was about to leave the car.

“Let’s stop here. Leave the keys at the security office.”

“Boss! Please, I made a mistake. I won’t do it again. Just let me work, please.”

Go-yeo frowned and turned back. She was trying not to choke up.

“…Fine.”

“…….”

She should have just pushed him away, but she gave him a slight chance with her silence. Giving him that chance wasn’t like her. Looking back, Yoon Ga-eul was constantly submerging Han Go-yeo.

She walked with more hurried steps than usual. It didn’t feel good to lose her composure.

She felt even more sorry knowing what kind of person he was. She hoped he didn’t carry a burden in his heart like others did, and wished for his feverish obsession with the insignificant Han Go-yeo to end. She never expected to receive what she had turned away from him whenever they faced each other. She dismissed his emotions as mere infatuation for a new world he was curious about, admiration for someone with a different fate, or perhaps just a kind of awe towards someone much older.