The Season I Loved You Without You - Chapter 25

CHAPTER 25

Compared to Go-yeo with almost no appetite, Ga-eul seemed to eat everything well. She remembered seeing him eat all the desserts that were served earlier. It seemed like something to consider as part of employee welfare.

“Do you have something you want to eat?”

She was thinking of buying or ordering something nearby. Ga-eul seriously pondered the sudden question.

“What kind of food do you like, boss? Besides salad.”

Answering a question with another question wasn’t ideal, but she chuckled at the last part. It was a strange concern for someone who didn’t enjoy food much. If she had to pick, she remembered the French restaurant in New York that Ji-hyuk and her used to frequent. The food there was quite tasty.

“Beef Bourguignon?”

“Uh… “

Ga-eul seemed a bit perplexed. He’d heard of it, but he’d never actually seen it, much less eaten it.

They decided to stop by a mart near Go-yeo’s house. Despite trying to suggest packaged options, Ga-eul’s suggestion prevailed when nothing suitable came to mind. She had never been to a mart before, so eventually, Ga-eul had to find the location. It wasn’t a large mart but rather a small one using a single floor of a building, which might be typical in the neighborhood.

Even when Ga-eul told Go-yeo to wait in the car, curiosity got the best of her, and she followed. His pushing of the cart seemed oddly familiar. Ga-eul browsed around while Go-yeo followed beside him. True to his character, he diligently compared items before choosing.

Ga-eul asked if she had rice or certain ingredients, but it didn’t matter much. Go-yeo didn’t know about her fridge situation apart from what the aunt said. Still, Ga-eul smiled brightly, seemingly enjoying the process. It occurred to her that maybe that’s why people liked younger partners.

‘Is this why they meet younger people?’

At a junction, Ga-eul pulled Go-yeo away as she almost collided with a cart that suddenly appeared. Go-yeo found herself embraced by Ga-eul. Even though she wore boots with heels, Go-yeo’s forehead was still visible.

Such a small person with such a big presence.

The small contact reminded Ga-eul of an incident at the hotel. The beautiful body and sweet scent, the gestures that seemed unique to him. Thoughts of it occurred abruptly and naturally led to physical reactions. He quickly pulled away from Go-yeo.

On the other hand, Go-yeo didn’t think much of Ga-eul’s actions beyond considering them considerate. She simply found the mart crowded and inconvenient.

She insisted on paying for Ga-eul and offered him a card. It was only natural. After all, she was his superior at work, and dinner tonight was on a welfare basis. Moreover, according to Go-yeo’s opinion, only her father could give her a card instead of herself. It was a matter of course for someone who had a lot of money.

Although she paid him a salary comparable to that of her father’s chauffeur, it seemed like life would be tough with medical expenses. On the way back home, she saw Ga-eul. She remembered hearing him mention the cancer ward while talking cheerfully with a woman over the phone…

“Is your mother not feeling well? You don’t have to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“No, it’s okay. She has stomach cancer. She had surgery, but it metastasized elsewhere and recurred on her stomach, so she’s undergoing chemotherapy.”

“Oh, I see. Must be tough.”

She murmured, nodding.

It’s heartbreaking to see her Mom in pain. She always looked pale, and her hands were cold because her heart wasn’t functioning well, so her blood circulation wasn’t good. So, Go-yeo always took care, but she didn’t expect it to turn out so futilely. She couldn’t even say goodbye, and the sudden event happened. It must have been too heavy to walk alone with a young daughter and a husband left behind. She thought she should go see her Mom soon.

When they arrived home, Ga-eul headed straight to the kitchen. It was now natural to let him in. Seeing him oddly excited while organizing the ingredients they bought, Go-yeo chuckled.

What’s he going to do with all those? If there are leftover ingredients, Aunt won’t like it.

“It’ll take some time, so just relax.”

Go-yeo didn’t have dinner plans, but she didn’t complain about feeling tired unnecessarily. Ga-eul could have asked her where the utensils were, but he started looking for them himself. Ignoring him, Go-yeo went upstairs.

She undressed in the dressing room and headed to the bathroom. She closed her eyes as hot water fell on her.

Today felt long. Although she didn’t feel tired enough to nap in the car, she felt exhausted. She took a longer shower than usual. After drying her hair, she thought about putting on a bathrobe but felt too lazy. Instead, she pulled out a home-wear dress she rarely wore.

When she went downstairs, Ga-eul’s dinner preparations weren’t finished yet, so she went to the living room, turned on some music, and opened a book. The deep melody of the cello echoed grandly. She sat on the sofa as if lying down and read a book.

She read a poem titled Things I Didn’t Know I Loved Before They Disappeared’ In the quiet and calm poem listing things the poet loved, there was a hint of regret from the dying person.

Was it better to realize you love someone and then die, or was it better to die without knowing? Or perhaps it didn’t matter since everyone would die anyway.

‘Maybe it’s better not to know. Regrets will only add more pain to the journey.’

Perhaps she was thinking pragmatically in her current state. Maybe when her heart was in the garden of flowers, she would have realized love and embraced it to die with it. So, for her, love was just useless regret now.

“Is this enough?”

Ga-eul came out to find Go-yeo after setting the dining table. The music in the living room and the atmosphere of this space matched perfectly with the woman in white sitting like a painting, reading a book. She was so perfect that it took courage to approach her, even for the usual words.

“….Boss. Please have your meal.”

Go-yeo nodded at Ga-eul’s words and closed the book.

On the table, there was fried rice, egg soup, seaweed, and kimchi that they bought. Nothing special, but it looked neat and carefully prepared. Even though she wasn’t really hungry, she wondered if she should try some. Go-yeo sat down, and Ga-eul sat across from her.

She wondered if she should eat when she wasn’t hungry, but she knew this was for Ga-eul’s benefit, not her own, so she picked up her spoon.

“I’ll eat well.”

She scooped up a bit of the fried rice that was on her plate. It was Chinese-style fried rice with shrimp. She looked at Ga-eul with surprise. It wasn’t like he didn’t know anything about fine dining. There were efforts to maintain a good balance overall and preserve the moist texture. Ga-eul hadn’t eaten anything yet, but he was watching Go-yeo with a worried and expectant look.

“It’s delicious, really. You should eat too.”

He smiled as if relieved, then finally picked up his spoon. She ate the egg soup as well. The soup, with its rich flavor, was almost as good as Aunt’s.

“Oh, thank goodness. I was really worried. Please eat a lot.”

Nodding, Go-yeo ate a little more rice.

“Do you cook often at home?”

“Yes. Now that it’s just me and my younger sister.”

“You have a younger sister?”

“Yes, a younger sister.”

She didn’t know much about Ga-eul. She only found out about his mother being ill from conversations. She hadn’t asked personal questions, and Ga-eul didn’t seem inclined to talk without being asked.

“It’s impressive to work and take care of your sister at such a young age.”

She felt like she was busy playing at that age.

“Oh, no. I’m not that young…”

Not that young? Go-yeo chuckled. Ten years apart in age. It’s still amazing. The youngest employee at the boutique was one year older than Ga-eul.

“How old is your sister?”

“She’s eighteen. She’s a sophomore in high school.”

It seemed like he was still too young to handle everything, but Yoon Ga-eul was already an adult who had matured well beyond his years. She thought that his mature demeanor might have been shaped more by his environment than by his innate character.

Go-yeo had almost finished the egg soup and hadn’t even eaten half of the fried rice, but she couldn’t eat anymore. It seemed like a waste to throw away what Ga-eul had made with care. Watching Ga-eul, who had already eaten more than half, she hesitated for a moment before asking.

“Would you like to have more of what you were eating? I’m full.”

“It’s okay. I’ll have it.”

Ga-eul took Go-yeo’s plate.

“I made a menu that might be too burdensome. Fried rice for dinner. I don’t know much about cooking.”

She felt uneasy seeing him apologizing.

“No, it was delicious. I just haven’t been having much of an appetite lately, that’s all.”

Feeling sorry for leaving it, words that didn’t need to be said came out naturally. People like her were indeed troublesome.

After clearing the table meticulously, Ga-eul finished tidying up and went to do the dishes. Even though Go-yeo, as the landlord, said it was okay for him not to do the dishes, Ga-eul insisted that he would do it since he had made the mess himself. Despite being told about the dishwasher, he raised his arms to insist on doing it himself.

Dimming the bright lights in the living room to a level that didn’t hurt the eyes, Go-yeo took out a white wine to sip and sat on the sofa. While sipping the wine, she turned on the TV after a long time. Even watching a comedy show with hearty laughter didn’t bring any enjoyment. She scrolled through the options for a decent movie and settled on a recommended one.

The opening scenes seemed somewhat familiar. Has she seen this before? Even after checking the title, she wasn’t sure.

It didn’t seem like the type of light movie that she usually enjoyed. She finished her glass and refilled it, but no matter how much she poured, it didn’t fill the void.

After some time, Ga-eul emerged from the kitchen and approached Go-yeo.

“Boss, it’s all done.”

“Yeah. Thank you for your hard work.”

It’s somewhat amusing. She had intended to make dinner easy for him but ended up making him work instead. So, she impulsively asked him, partly out of goodwill.

“Have you tried white wine?”

“No.”

She gestured toward the wine in the glass. Ga-eul approached slowly. He sat down next to Go-yeo, hesitatingly.

Without looking directly at Go-yeo, Ga-eul raised his glass. Go-yeo casually glanced at Ga-eul’s white fingers as he held the long, straight stem of the glass. They were hands that were long and slender yet still masculine. They seemed like they would fit well with playing the piano.