The Season I Loved You Without You - Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

The next day, Ji-hyuk headed to the Boutique of Go-yeo during his lunch break. The store employee recognized Ji-hyuk and attempted to call Ji-yeon, but he raised his hand to stop her. 

He went straight up to the 4th floor and casually knocked on the door of the office. Getting no response, he opened the door to find the office empty. Checking the time, it was still early for Go-yeo to arrive at work. Ji-hyuk stood there, checking his emails and sipping the coffee he brought.

Coming out from the opposite vice president’s office, Ji-yeon and Hee-kyung noticed Ji-hyuk standing at the door. Ji-yeon’s brow furrowed momentarily, but she quickly replaced it with a forced smile.

“Oh my, Director. What brings you here?”

“Oh, Ji-yeon.”

Ji-yeon knew well that Ji-hyuk’s smile was thoroughly insincere. She habitually glanced over his attire. He was wearing a fitted Brioni F/W season grey check coat.

A fellow with a sophisticated aura and dignity intact.

Ji-yeon’s gaze towards Ji-hyuk wasn’t exactly pleasant. Of course, Ji-hyuk wasn’t oblivious to this fact. They had known of each other through Go-yeo since their studying abroad days, but encounters had been few and far between.

“The last time I saw you was at the wedding.”

When Ji-yeon heard that Go-yeo was still seeing Ji-hyuk after the divorce, she jumped up and down, but she didn’t listen to her. Ji-yeon, too, saw a strange resemblance between the two, their lifestyles aligning yet frequently clashing. Hence, they broke up and got back together repeatedly during their relationship.

During their short-lived marriage, Go-yeo had been under Yun Seung-ok’s strict control. Living under the same roof as Yun Seung-ok, she had to step back from running the boutique and her freedom dwindled. The once lively and spirited girl seemed resigned to her fate. Even after their divorce, although she never explicitly talked about their marriage, it was evident.

“What about Go-yeo?”

Ji-hyuk’s question snapped Ji-yeon out of her reverie.

“Well, you know, the boss’ working hours are irregular.”

She replied smoothly, adjusting her glasses with her third finger. Just a formal response. It was a timid revenge Ji-yeon could offer Ji-hyuk.

They shouldn’t have met again.

She knew better than anyone that Han Go-yeo had an ectomorphic temperament and would only stick to Moon Ji-hyuk. Yet, as someone who cherished Go-yeo, she knew she had to stop this. It had to be done.

Ji-hyuk, seemingly unfazed by Ji-yeon’s response, simply grinned and nodded.

“Is there anything bothering Go-yeo?”

“Haha. Well, you know. Nothing major.”

Her sharply arched left eyebrow seemed to show her dissatisfaction with something. Nevertheless, she expressed her determination not to give any leeway regarding Go-yeo. He must understand that by now.

“Isn’t that considered neglect of duty?”

The sound of tinkling laughter and a colder gaze than before landed on Ji-yeon.

“Yes, well, maybe.”

Ji-yeon replied cheerfully. Ji-hyuk, still maintaining his smile, checked the time.

“See you next time. And there will be drinks and desserts on the first floor. Help yourself.”

With a final lingering smile, he left.

The phrase ‘Let go and find your own way’ almost slipped off Ji-yeon’s tongue. She glared at Ji-hyuk’s retreating figure, clenched her jaw, and looked away.

Hee-kyung approached Ji-yeon, informing her that the meeting was ready. They were in the conference room on the third floor, finalizing designs for the next season. Go-yeo had said everything was fine, but they needed to discuss the details and give instructions.

Ji-yeon remembered the time spent with Go-yeo at Parsons. She couldn’t forget the sight of Go-yeo meticulously drawing with sparkling eyes and making clothes with great care. She remembered the delicate designs that came from Go-yeo’s sensitive touch. She planned to complete Go-yeo’s clothes, and her own work, just like back then.

She hoped Go-yeo’s wandering wouldn’t be too long.

* * *

Go-yeo blinked. She tossed and turned, moving her ankles. She felt much better than yesterday. Perhaps the man’s sincerity had worked. She got up slowly and approached the window covered with blackout curtains. Pulling aside the curtain, sunlight dazzled.

The sparkling waves of the Han River furrowed her brow. Leaning against the window frame with her arms crossed, she stared blankly at the flowing river. A white yacht drifted away, stirring up the water.

The river she was looking at now must be different from yesterday’s river. Watching the river endlessly, one couldn’t help but feel ephemeral. It was sad that nothing remained, just flowing without leaving a trace.

Go-yeo’s gaze, casually fixed on the river, sank. She crossed the room and put on the negligee she had thrown carelessly on the bed bench.

The clothes strewn about the corridor and the reception room on the second floor had disappeared without a trace like yesterday’s rubble. Walking down the stairs, she called out to the direction where she sensed a presence. Her voice still carried traces of sleepiness.

“Auntie, can I have some water?”

Sunlight reached the staircase landing. The whole house was bright even without the lights on, thanks to the clear sunlight. The man standing bathed in sunlight didn’t seem out of place. He seemed like a fairy enveloped in light. He looked so different from yesterday when he boldly stepped in. 

He was wearing an ivory turtleneck sweater and a dense gray herringbone coat made at the boutique.

“Where’s Auntie?”

As if his presence here wasn’t a problem, Go-yeo simply asked the thing she was most curious about.

“Oh, she’s gone out for a moment. She said she had some shopping to do…”

He murmured as she passed into the kitchen. She picked up the kettle filled with warm water from beside the water dispenser and poured herself a cup. When she had drunk about half the water from the tall glass, she glanced briefly at the man standing in front of her.

He seemed startled by Go-yeo’s appearance, but now he couldn’t seem to meet her eyes, looking unsure of what to do.

“When did you arrive?”

She asked as she finished drinking the water.

“Around 9 o’clock.”

Glancing at the clock on the wall, she realized it was already past 11. What had he been thinking while waiting here for two hours?

“You came early.”

Yes, Ga-eul nodded slightly, feeling a bit embarrassed. It was clear that she was the only one concerned about yesterday’s events. So she felt ashamed. She had felt embarrassed about constantly analyzing and ruminating over what had happened since then. Despite resolving to handle it publicly, she had felt restless sitting here, not knowing how to handle the feelings that had escaped her control.

She hadn’t expected him to come back. What if he was annoyed when he appeared? What if he found it repulsive to even exchange a greeting? When faced with all these thoughts, the woman who stood before him seemed to lose all significance. Despite considering various scenarios, her strange question wasn’t among the possibilities.

“I thought you wouldn’t come?”

Ga-eul was here. He had been paid, he had promised to come. It made sense for him to come when she thought about it like that. But there were plenty of reasons why he wouldn’t come. She had tormented him viciously and had treated him lightly, all because she glimpsed his innocent heart. The man, with his peculiar character, seemed immature and obedient, yet he always had an oddly honest gaze. Even though it was just for a moment, his gaze flickered like a flame.

“Yes.”

Ga-eul had wanted to come here, even though he had to find someone to cover his convenience store shift and postpone his tutoring session. It was the only way he could see her again. He had made an inefficient choice just for that reason.

He thought he could confirm it again if he saw her. It was nothing but insignificant and useless, something he couldn’t show to anyone else, but he wanted to know its identity.

Now that he faced her, the form of the unnamed thing became clear. The slightly trembling, calloused hands, the irregular breathing that disturbed his ears, the strange tremor that tickled his spine. Sensations he had never experienced before. Unspoken words.

It had come to him so vulnerably.

The unnamed thing was a defense mechanism for his minimal dignity, and even if he didn’t, it felt like he would collapse without it. He vaguely decided to just leave it like this and pretend he didn’t know.

The voice of Go-yeo lifted Ga-eul from the abyss lightly.

“Are you hungry for lunch?”

“I already ate before I came.”

Go-yeo nodded.

“Then we’ll have lunch and go out.”

Just as she said this, the sound of the main door being opened and closed was heard. Sumi, the lady of the house, was surprised as she entered the kitchen. Although she was over sixty and had seen enough to age gracefully, she couldn’t tolerate seeing someone as old as her standing there, with her breasts visible under the flimsy slip.

“Even the big ones are grown up now. It’s the end times.”

Even if Go-yeo had drunk American water for a long time, she couldn’t show such a disgraceful sight to a young student. She hastily placed the package she had brought on the table and took Go-yeo’s hand, leading her upstairs. When Go-yeo looked puzzled, Sumi, as if to say, ‘Don’t you even know that?’ impatiently handed her the front of her silk gown.

After sending Go-yeo upstairs, Sumi approached the timid student. Although Jiyeon had assured her in the morning that he was a temporary employee, he was still a stranger. No matter how innocent he looked on the outside, she couldn’t know what was inside him. She clicked her tongue at Go-yeo’s carelessness.

Nevertheless, since they would be seeing each other more often in the future, Sumi took out the package and offered Ga-eul a meal properly to make sure he ate at least one meal. 

“Sit comfortably. It’ll take a while.”

“…Yes.”

Ga-eul nodded and hurried to the restroom. He hadn’t been conscious of anything other than Go-yeo’s face the whole time. He washed his hands and face with cold water. The feeling of blood rushing to one place was unpleasant. It made him feel like he had become a primitive animal, devoid of reason and only driven by instincts.