The Season I Loved You Without You - Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

She blinked in surprise, then calmly turned around and sat down. Go-yeo was relieved that she was wearing jeans today and leaned against his shoulder, resting her hand on his shoulder. Ga-eul wrapped his arms around Go-yeo’s legs. Then he stood up and staggered slightly. He entrusted the shopping bag to the security guard and headed for the emergency stairs.

“Just endure a little because we only have to go up three floors.”

“No. It’s not heavy.”

Although he tried to pretend otherwise, only a weak laugh came out because of his trembling voice. It wasn’t that Go-yeo was too brazen; the problem was that Ga-eul was too innocent and kind. There was no sense of apology or embarrassment. She only felt that his hand on her was a little warm.

When was the last time she was carried by someone? It was the first time since her father carried her when she was young.

‘Moreover, I’ve never experienced anything like this even with Moon Ji-hyuk. I don’t know what relationships are like for other people. Is it a common thing between lovers?’

Go-yeo’s voice echoed as they climbed the stairs.

“Have you ever carried a girlfriend on your back?”

“No. I’ve never dated anyone….”

She wondered why, but that was all. They arrived at the black front door on the third floor, the only one there. Go-yeo got off his broad back and patted Ga-eul’s face. His face was flushed. Ga-eul avoided his gaze, covering his mouth. Sweat was dripping down his neck. Well, it wasn’t easy for an adult to carry someone up the stairs.

“Let’s go in and have a drink.”

The black door opened a crack, revealing Go-yeo’s space. Ga-eul knew he couldn’t refuse this time. No, maybe he hadn’t refused. He glanced at Go-yeo’s hand holding the door and stepped inside. It felt like entering a forbidden world.

They passed through a chessboard-like hallway, and the high ceiling was adorned with a white chandelier. Several paintings hung on the walls of the living room. Two sides of the walls were made of full glass, half covered by white blinds, partially obscuring the night view.

The refined interior, consisting of white, black, and gold, gave a sense of unity and stability. Inside the living room, there was a kitchen and stairs leading up to the second floor.

Ga-eul followed Go-yeo, trying not to be overwhelmed by the space. There was a glass courtyard on one side leading to the kitchen. Even at night, the inside was visible due to the lights from the floor. Trees and flowers were arranged like a garden, with outdoor tables and chairs in the middle.

When they reached the kitchen, Go-yeo suggested that Ga-eul sit in a chair at the dining table. Ga-eul didn’t want to sit down and have someone with a sore leg hopping back and forth, so he put his coat and jacket on the chair and walked over to Go-yeo.

“If you tell me, I’ll do it. Please sit down.”

Go-yeo wondered if she should serve tea, then realized that was a good idea. She told Ga-eul to take whatever he wanted from the fridge to drink. When he opened the fridge, he saw various drinks neatly arranged by type. Feeling a sense of unfamiliarity, he randomly picked one from the front.

Go-yeo placed a wine bottle and a wine glass on the table, taken from the wine cellar. It was past 10 p.m., and it seemed like she could have a simple drink, wash up, and go to bed. She acknowledged having a mild alcohol dependency, but it wasn’t to the extent of needing to go to the hospital. She could get by without drinking, and it wasn’t something she constantly thought about.

Carefully, Ga-eul sat across from Go-yeo. He placed the canned drink he had picked from the fridge on the table.

“Beer?”

Go-yeo expressed surprise at the unexpected choice.

“Oh. I didn’t know it was beer. I just grabbed whatever was in front.”

Ga-eul was startled. Looking closely at the can, he realized it was a beer he hadn’t seen before.

“It’s okay if you drink it.”

Go-yeo effortlessly uncorked the wine bottle and poured the red liquid into the glass. She held the glass gently, swirling it around while resting her chin on the base. It was a vintage wine she had received as a gift, and she had been drinking it recently because she found the taste satisfactory. Despite being quite short among similar lines, it had a good balance of flavor and aroma.

As she took a sip, she glanced at the coat and jacket hanging on the chair across from her. The neatly folded appearance reminded him of Yoon Ga-eul . She smiled faintly as she looked at him.

Wearing only a shirt and vest, he looked quite…

“Handsome.”

The sudden compliment was amusing, as there was a teasing aspect to it. Much was revealed in his face. Even now, his cheeks reddened at the words. His fair skin probably contributed to that.

Come to think of it, Moon Ji-hyuk had never been here either. Even if there were valid reasons to express gratitude, she had invited a man she barely knew without any hesitation. If anything, shouldn’t that man be more cautious of her?

Anyway, if a man called himself a man, he would be a deadbeat. There was even a noble expression in some article comments, “debauched body.”

Only now did Yoon Ga-eul realize that the person in front of him was the protagonist of the vulgar stories he had heard at the club.

‘Is that a name? I don’t know. Who is she? A celebrity?’

‘No. She’s the daughter of the Wushin Financial Holdings.’

‘But she’s a real party girl. There have been scandals about her divorce. Some say she got divorced because of that.’

At some point, Yoon Ga-eul felt stifled, as if his chest tightened.

‘Does the woman in front of me know that people are talking about her?’

Perhaps she knew but didn’t care. People who knew her well would know that those rumors weren’t true. Of course, he didn’t know her well, but he somehow didn’t think such gossip was credible.

When Ga-eul thought of other things, she thought of him, too, like a part of her body, like breathing naturally. Moon Ji-hyuk would be waiting for her at the hotel.

 “Last time, you said that our brain doesn’t understand infinitives, that we have to substitute something else, but what if there’s nothing to substitute?”

Erasing him felt like erasing the tranquility of that time. It seemed like all the pieces of tranquility, freshness, and emotions felt for the first time in life would vanish completely if he were to be removed.

“What if it feels like I’m going to disappear first?”

She wondered what she was saying to someone who knew nothing. The gaze of silence gradually faded away.

“…”

To him, it seemed she wasn’t expecting an answer to her question. It seemed like she had inadvertently spilled out like water overflowing from a glass. Ga-eul glanced at Go-yeo with lowered eyes. There was no smile on her lips that she used to show as a courtesy.

This person is in the midst of a breakup right now.

The other person is probably the one she was talking to on the phone in the car. In the almost silent car, the content of the conversation could be heard, and the woman’s troubled expression was also seen in the rearview mirror. The usual relaxed and languid expression disappeared, replaced by a sense of urgency.

‘Go-yeo.’

Just by calling out the name, he shattered her calm. He had filled her with so much that erasing him would mean erasing oneself, so it couldn’t help but be desperate.

She remembered his hands, once hot as if they were in flames, and herself running away when she first saw this castle-like house. The kindness shown to her was just a three million won, but sitting across from her now was Yoon Ga-eul, himself. That’s why. In front of her, he gathered his courage once again.

“…I also want to drink wine.”

Go-yeo looked at Ga-eul as if surprised. She poured a little more wine into the half-filled glass. And uncivilized as it may be, who cares? She drank straight from the bottle. The wine, which had already been in short supply, was now running out. She had to stop here today. Her legs were hurt, and she had set a limit on how much she drank at home. Otherwise, she would have become an alcoholic sooner or later.

Ga-eul, sitting opposite her, also emptied his glass neatly. His lips, redder than the wine, were tinged with an even deeper shade of red.

She asked for another bottle of wine and a glass from the wine cellar. He nodded obediently. She brought out cheese from the fridge and began to drink in earnest.

“Do you handle alcohol well?”

“Yes, a little.”

She chuckled.

“Do you enjoy drinking wine?”

“No. Today is my first time.”

She asked him to choose anything, and the wine he brought was dry and high in alcohol.

“How does it taste?”

“…It’s bitter and harsh. But it feels good.”

She nodded with a smile. Was she drunk? It was a trivial thing to say, but it amused her. But wasn’t it true? The wine had a deep and robust aroma, quite a good drink.

“How did you know that I attended that school?”

She knew it was a question asked with great effort.

“It was written on your face.”

Her response was infinitely lighter compared to his.

Ga-eul locked eyes with her. She rested her chin on her hand, slowly closing and then opening her eyes. Their gazes intertwined. His gaze was peculiar. What was more surprising than anything else was that he could also have such a gaze. He had claimed he had never had a girlfriend, so she thought he wasn’t interested in that area. Yet it seemed he wasn’t as indifferent as he appeared.

It was the gaze of the twenty-year-old Moon Ji-hyuk looking at her. Back then, he was blind and naive, only seeing the woman in front of him. That gaze.

‘What should I do…’

Without saying a word, she continued to gaze at him intently. Ga-eul suddenly felt flustered and gulped down the wine. Was even this part of the act?

While men looking at her were familiar, this unrefined, unpolished gaze was rare. Despite all her roughness, she still wanted to experience a moment of tranquility. She might have generally been aware of such gazes, but everything about his clumsiness was refreshing.

She crossed her legs and playfully nudged her knee against his. She giggled at his surprise. It was time to stop fooling around.

“Should you leave now? Where do you live?”

She asked with a smile as if asking what had happened.

“Oh, I live in Gwangju, Gyeonggi Province now.”

“Which way is it? Call a taxi and go.”

“Yes.”

“On your way, grab the clothes you left earlier. There might be some clothes I designed among them.”

“…Thank you.”

He began to tidy up the table. She left him to it, grateful. While he went back and forth to the kitchen, she massaged her ankle. She removed the bandage and moved it around. The pain had subsided, but discomfort lingered. She thought she should take a warm shower instead of soaking in hot water.

“Does it hurt a lot?”

Ga-eul, who had come over after tidying up, asked, looking at her ankle.

“A little?”

After pondering for a moment, Ga-eul asked where the bathroom was. Go-yeo gestured with her chin towards the door next to the stairs.