The Maid Under the Stairs - Chapter 57
< Chapter 57 >
“Irina!”
Mary raised her eyebrows at Irina, who was dressed in a trendy turquoise two-piece outfit and glanced at Mary and Mabel with a more splendid appearance than ever before.
“For years, you worked as a maid under the stairs. But is that all you can think of?”
Irina spoke sharply as ever.
“Why would you say that, Irina? Mabel hasn’t eaten properly for days and has been unwell! Surely… Irina, you wouldn’t do such a thing?”
Mary, after defending Mabel, asked with a frightened expression, to which Irina laughed.
“Do you think I would bother someone with something childish like this? And since she was indeed born as a maid, so what’s wrong with that?”
Irina’s black hair swayed around her neck with her cold laughter.
“And Mabel Willis, do you have anything to say to me?”
Irina looked at Mabel with a cold and disdainful expression.
“……”
Mabel, who had been tidying up the front of the room despite Irina’s presence, finally looked up.
“…That’s right, isn’t it? Even if I receive an apology, it won’t feel like I’ve received one.”
Irina replied, silently mocking Mabel’s sincerity.
“Irina… If you’re angry because a humble person like me associated with you… If that’s why you want an apology…”
As mechanical words flowed from Mabel’s thin lips, Irina interrupted her with a snort.
“You really… are something. How have you both seen me all this time?”
“An arbitrary lady? A spoiled daughter of a rich family? Or a princess who monopolizes the bathroom every morning for an hour? Hmm…”
Mary, sharing the room with Irina, answered without hesitation to Irina’s ridiculous question.
“Mary, that’s not what I’m talking about right now!”
Frustrated, Irina turned to Mabel again.
“Mabel, I’m talking about your apology for not trusting your friends, including me.”
Mabel looked back at Irina with empty eyes filled only with sadness.
“I thought of you as a friend. Yes, I might just seem like an arrogant rich girl, as Mary says. So what? It’s the truth. I’ve never shared anything with anyone, never interacted with others.”
Irina began speaking in a cold voice.
“Yet, coming to college, I thought I’d finally learn to do something on my own, not just being a displayed rich girl all dolled up. I wanted to choose the people I wanted to be with, try things I wouldn’t normally do.”
Irina took a deep breath and continued in a more intense tone.
“But, why would a friend I thought I was close to, who stuck by me for a year, sharing all sorts of stories and thoughts, just silently suffer alone without a word about their worries? Did you think we would demand you to leave like Rebecca once I or Mary found out about your status? Did you see us as just those kinds of people?”
“Irina…”
Mabel, surprised by the unexpected turn of the conversation, widened her eyes. She had thought Irina was angry because of her status, but it wasn’t that. She was just upset because she wasn’t informed in advance…
“Mary, aren’t you angry, even now? She’s been unwell for days since returning from Oxford, clearly, something’s wrong, yet she didn’t say a word to anyone, not even to you.”
Irina’s sharp voice made Mabel look at Mary sitting next to her. Mary hesitated for a moment, then sighed deeply before speaking.
“I’m genuinely concerned, Mabel. But if you don’t want to talk to me about it, there’s nothing I can do…”
Mabel remembered the past few days when she had been unwell, and Mary had been pacing around anxiously. Even though Mabel sometimes shed tears or expressed pain while thinking about her breakup with William, Mary never asked what was wrong and quietly focused on nursing her.
“When something happens to you, you never tell anyone. You think you have to bear and solve everything alone. It’s not just once or twice. Last time, you suddenly wanted to graduate early, didn’t you? I only now realize you were afraid of your status being revealed back then. Do you know how worried we were?”
Irina seemed determined to let out everything she had been holding back. She spoke rapidly and then took a deep breath before pouring out more words.
“Ha, Mary was so afraid you were going to die studying and become a ghost that she and Theo made up a ridiculous story to get you out of the library.”
“Oh, that story wasn’t made up, it’s true…”
Mary muttered amidst Irina’s anger, but Irina ignored her and continued speaking.
“If you think blindly bearing, hiding, and pushing people away is the way to avoid hurting others, then you’re truly foolish. You don’t even realize that the people around you, despite burning with worry, quietly watch over you in fear of adding to your burden, do you?”
Irina’s final words struck deep into Mabel’s heart. Her blunt friend’s words were correct. She had always been eager to push people away, but those she pushed away had somehow returned to her side without her even realizing it.
‘I had always been too focused on my pain to realize that those people wanted to be by my side… solely based on my arbitrary judgment that being with me wouldn’t be good for them.’
Mabel recalled the friends who had come looking for her directly when she disappeared to the Isle of Wight without leaving an address to write to. They were worried about Mabel because they liked her and wanted to spend time with her. However, Mabel had been so eager to distance herself from them, fearing they might be harmed because of her.
“If you end up causing harm to those who are close to you, I don’t mind. The decision to remain your friend no matter what happens is mine. But Mabel, you, just because you can’t value yourself as much as others do, are making arbitrary judgments about other people’s feelings.”
Irina’s words were simple and clear facts. But to Mabel, it was also a fact that she had never seen before.
“You’re right. Irina, Mary… I’m truly sorry…”
Mabel slowly stopped scrubbing with the cloth in her hand and turned to Irina, who still had a stern expression, and Mary, who seemed unsure of what to do.
“It might sound like an excuse, but strangely, I’ve never thought that someone might care about me. So I just took your worry for granted and… I’m truly sorry.”
“Do you think we’re people who know how to differentiate or make decisions? Or have you ever thought of us as your friends?”
After a moment of silence following Mabel’s apology, Irina asked. Then, Mabel, blushing and surprised, replied.
“Of course! I’ve always mentioned it to Lord Alfred and Mr. Edmundstone, who knew my status from the beginning. Many of the things I’ve learned in this college come from our friendship. Irina, your honesty and confidence, Mary’s wit and positive attitude, Julia’s affection…”
Mabel, who knew better than anyone how good her friends were, spoke faster.
“…I just didn’t trust myself. So I guess I couldn’t think that being with you was your choice, and I was just afraid of losing you…”
Mabel felt tears welling up in her eyes, which had become stiff from crying. She had thought they were too good for her, both her friends and William, who claimed to love her.
Seeing Mabel like this, Irina sank to her eye level. She didn’t seem to care that her elegant skirt was being dragged through the trash heap. Irina looked directly into Mabel’s eyes and began to speak.
“Then, decide now. If you want to remain friends with us, from now on, respect and love us as friends. And the decision for us to remain your friends, we leave that to ourselves.”
“Ah…”
Tears welled up in Mabel’s eyes at Irina’s gentle expression. Mary, who had been silent, finally intervened.
“If someone decides not to be your friend, that’s okay too. That’s their decision and their loss. You just need to be with the people who truly cherish you.”
Mabel looked alternately at her two friends sitting on the dormitory hallway floor. It felt like a gentle rain falling on her rough and cracked heart.
As Mabel wiped away her tears, she nodded towards her friends. It was her first promise to become accustomed to being loved and to give love in return.
Seeing this, Irina pulled Mabel into a tight hug. All of their faces bore relieved smiles of being friends once again.
“Wow, Irina! That was touching!”
Mary, who had been listening to Irina’s heartfelt words, teared up and hugged both Mabel and Irina at the same time.
“Well, now we should clean up this darn mess, shouldn’t we?”
Irina released the embrace and said to her friends.
“By the way, seeing you cleaning just now, I couldn’t believe you were actually a maid. Did Lord Alfred kick you out to college because you were so bad at cleaning?”
Irina rolled her eyes and picked up a bucket.
With her typical humor, the three ladies burst into laughter together after a long time.