The Maid Under the Stairs - Chapter 47
< Chapter 47 >
Dear Mabel,
Don’t be surprised by the unfamiliar address written on the envelope. It’s probably the address of the inn I’ll be arriving at next.
Ah, my hand trembles as I write this letter. It’s not just because I’m writing from a moving carriage. I’m trembling with guilt for jeopardizing the uncertain future and path of the one I love.
Mabel, before you read this letter, remember that the love between James Herbert and me is genuine. We didn’t meet each other with frivolous hearts. Our secret engagement was a sacred promise made in the small church of Witney, even though there were no witnesses.
But perhaps, in the joy of our engagement, we desired more than each other’s earthly presence…
Yes, Mabel. I, Daisy, am carrying James Herbert’s child.
At first, I didn’t know what to do about the unexpected pregnancy. I couldn’t bear the thought of informing James without being married, as it would not bode well for him while he awaits a clergyman’s appointment. And we couldn’t rely on the help of our poor household burdened with children.
Furthermore, Lord Alfred is not in a position to care for me now, and Aunt Louise and Sally have not yet returned home due to the mansion renovations last summer… There’s no one here to help me, Mabel.
And that’s not all. Perhaps my news of pregnancy might reach Lady Margaret’s ears. She will surely insist on forcing me to abort the child. As I heard from Aunt Louise, many maids who accidentally conceived noble children were forced to endure painful abortions and often died. Oh, I don’t want to die like that…
But I had to tell James about the pregnancy eventually. He was greatly surprised but suggested abandoning the clergyman’s appointment and informing his parents, the Baron and Baroness Herbert, for assistance. He said even if his parents were angry, they wouldn’t abandon their grandson.
Oh, Mabel. James believes everyone in the world is as benevolent as he is. So, the dear man was shocked by the reaction of the Baron and Baroness Herbert.
The Baron and Baroness were furious at the thought of their eldest son, who had even studied abroad, impregnating a mere maid and wanting to take responsibility. Still, when James refused to abandon me, they finally decided to disown him and drive him out of the house.
According to a maid close to the Baron, their second son, George Herbert, told his parents that I am a maid who manipulates James and even lied about trying to seduce George Herbert in the past.
Ha, George Herbert is mocking James with such cunning lies, thinking that if James is disowned, he can inherit all the family property.
Mabel, I am now traveling to Worcester with James Herbert, who is engulfed in sorrow and despair. I hope that he, being a devout Christian, will not throw the poor young lover out into the street.
However, my sadness isn’t just because of leaving Oxford or the uncertain future with James veiled in a mist… The real reason for my deep sorrow is James’s despairing expression, having lost his dreams and even been rejected by his family.
Mabel, did I do something wrong? Is this the consequence of desiring someone I shouldn’t have, as the words of Aunt Louise and other senior maids suggest?
I love James Herbert. James Herbert loves me enough to abandon everything for me.
But why aren’t we happy? What went wrong, Mabel? I thought as long as there was pure love, no trial would be a problem… I still believe that.
But this rickety carriage, never ridden in a lifetime, and James Herbert, who knows nothing about the outside world without the protection of family and rank, trembles in fear, unable even to meet my eyes.
Mabel, amidst all this, do you know what terrifies me the most? It’s not the uncertain future, the impoverished life, or being separated from my family. It’s the agonizing thought that he might regret loving me.
Oh, Mabel. Even with your eloquent words, you can’t offer me false hope, can you?
Daisy, immersed in sadness.
* * *
The letter that Daisy sent, arriving on a peaceful Monday morning, contained truly shocking news.
Reading it over and over, barely able to breathe, Mabel sat down at her desk, covering her mouth with her hand.
“Oh, poor Daisy, in the world…”
The despairing news remained unchanged no matter how many times she read it. Her dear sister, Daisy, is pregnant. And filled with fear enough to run away from her family and Oxford mansion.
In Mabel’s mind, she pictured the naive and innocent Daisy, and even more clueless James Herbert, wandering from inn to inn without a proper worldly understanding.
‘But why aren’t we happy? What went wrong, Mabel? I thought as long as there was pure love, no trial would be a problem…’
Moreover, Daisy’s letter was devoid of the pure and optimistic attitude Mabel wanted to believe in, filled instead with dark and sorrowful words.
‘It’s the agonizing thought that he might regret loving me.’
In the end, what Mabel feared most in her relationship with William was exactly this.
To see Daisy, who was once so deeply in love and happy, now so utterly disillusioned by reality, broke Mabel’s heart.
But Mabel didn’t have time to simply pity Daisy. Even if James were disowned now, he could rely on the Herbert family name for a while and receive help from his friends.
But once rumors start circulating about the maid under the stairs and the elopement, he’ll certainly face rejection from all the upper-class people he knows.
In preparation for that moment, they must find a way to earn money themselves. James, who studied theology, can no longer become a clergyman, and it will take time for him to learn a new trade, so Daisy, who used to work as a maid at the mansion, will eventually have to find work again.
‘No. At least until Daisy gives birth, they need to be able to support themselves. If Lord Alfred, who is generous and understanding, had been there, he would have allowed Daisy to stay at the mansion until she gave birth. Why did Daisy think Lord Alfred wouldn’t have that kind of generosity and leave the mansion right away?’
Mabel couldn’t understand Daisy’s actions, but perhaps it was due to fear of pregnancy and Lady Margaret. Instead, she thought of the money she had saved up and calculated how long the two young people would last on that amount.
“They’ll need at least 3 pounds a month just to stay at an inn, right? Plus, they’ll need another 2 pounds for food and doctor’s fees. So, even if we estimate it at 5 pounds a month, they’ll need at least 50 pounds until the baby is born…”
Even if she combined all the money she had, it would only be a tenth of that. Mabel couldn’t contain her anxiety and unknowingly bit her nails.
Moreover, the only information Mabel could glean from the letter was the address of the Worcester Inn, where they might stay, but she had no way to send money to Daisy.
‘I don’t have the means to send someone there to inquire about Daisy and James or to deliver money…’
Ironically, the person who came to mind at that moment was William Edmundstone.
Mabel didn’t have the courage, like Daisy, to believe in love and try to intertwine her life with her lover’s. That’s why she planned to leave William after this semester, and she didn’t want to do anything to inconvenience him or jeopardize their relationship.
But as she envisioned Daisy, carrying a child in her arms and living a life no better than a mistress, her sense of pride and her plans to leave William became inconsequential.
‘If Mr. Edmundstone can just help find Daisy, I’ll send all the money I have and start working right after graduation to take care of Daisy. I could even ask Lord Alfred to let Daisy stay a little longer at the mansion…’
Even as she hesitated at this moment, Daisy and James were likely drifting further away from Oxford. Just as she was about to send a telegram to William and head to Cheshire Hall alone, she heard a hurried knock on her dorm room door.
Thud, thud, thud.
“Senior Lorelei-?”
“Hah, hah, Mabel…”
Outside her dorm room, Lorelei was panting heavily, as if she had rushed over.
“Something big happened, Mabel…”
Wiping the sweat from her forehead, Lorelei looked at Mabel with a sad expression.
“I’ve been so busy lately that I only asked Rebecca for help, so I gave her the key to the department office… I never expected her to investigate you…”
Mabel listened to Lorelei’s regretful words with a confused expression.
“The home economics club led by Rebecca is holding a meeting in the dean’s office right now. They’re saying that they need to expel you for deceiving your identity and enrolling in Summerhill…”
Mabel’s face turned as white as a sheet upon hearing Lorelei’s words.