One Day My Sister Died - chapter 31

**Chapter 31. Refuse If It Hurts**

Yuan held the pain that never seemed to diminish tightly in her heart.

“After my sister died, did I want to replace everything since I’ve lost my place?”

“A husband instead of a sister. This black mansion instead of the Felice mansion. You must want to settle down.”

Burying her face in her faded blonde hair, Yuan quietly sobbed.

Please forgive me for needing you and staying by your side, yet I did not take even a fraction of your pain.

Even while hoping to hide in the peace of this place, forgive me for thinking that half of your pain was a price you had to bear for possibly killing my sister.

“I’m sorry.”

“If you’re sorry, get out immediately, ugh…”

“I’m sorry, Master.”

Until she pulled out the next arrow, Yuan slowly consumed the unending pain.

If only she hadn’t insisted on being here.

If she hadn’t deceived herself by saying she had proof of purity to remain here, the emperor wouldn’t have come and tormented Claude.

So, the pain inflicted by the emperor was Yuan’s, not Claude’s.

The person who should rightfully be in pain now was herself.

For the first time in her life, Yuan sincerely thanked the deity for granting her the ability to feel pain on behalf of someone else.

“I’m in pain, so why are you crying?”

“…Because you’re family.”

Yuan decided to finally let Louise go and to do her best for the new family she had brought him.

Not just to talk about Louise, but to genuinely try to get along with him.

Fortunately.

Claude didn’t say the sad words of “Who do you think you are to be my family?”

He simply turned his head away from Yuan, who was burying his face in his hair and stifling his groans.

—

The black mansion that the emperor had left was busier.

The servants were cleaning the rooms where guests had stayed and removing the decorations from the annex hall that the people from the imperial palace had adorned.

The first cart carrying groceries and work uniforms ordered by the new mistress rattled as it entered the mansion.

The stone path, which had been cleared of snow early in the morning, sparkled as if it had just been wiped clean.

Yuan watched the chef preparing the deer meat caught by Emperor Igor and then went upstairs with the soup she had simmered.

“Why do I feel so little pain? Explain.”

As soon as she entered the bedroom, Claude’s locked voice flew towards Yuan.

Sunlight poured through the curtains that she had left open at dawn. Claude, shielding his eyes from the sunlight with his hand, looked up at Yuan with a grimace.

“Tell me everything one by one.”

Claude, who seemed ready to spring up at any moment, clutched the bandages wrapped around his tightly closed side and groaned.

“The wounds are the same. If you move around because it doesn’t hurt as much as you thought, it’ll be hard.”

Yuan supported her and sat her at the head of the bed, placing a warm bowl of soup on her lap.

Claude, who had been slowly examining Yuan’s face through the rising steam, lowered his gaze to the spoon he had yet to lift. His neatly shaped forehead glimmered with his loose blonde hair.

“…You could have refused.”

A self-deprecating voice slipped from his pale, dry lips.

Yuan understood what Claude meant by refusing.

The prescription from Felice.

The medicine she provided and the “intimate warmth.”

So, if he were to translate that into words he imagined, it would mean “a passionate night.”

Now, was it suddenly bothering her?

Yuan couldn’t help but smile at Claude, who seemed to be concerned about strange things.

“How could I refuse when the Master is in such pain?”

Claude flinched.

His expression grew darker.

His gaze followed the steam rising from the soup and landed on Yuan’s face.

A pale face. Drooping eyelashes. Puffed-up eyelids, with a slightly flushed area around her eyes, his gaze scattered around.

“Don’t accept everything. If it hurts, refuse.”

“?”

As soon as Claude finished speaking, he sharply turned his head away. Yuan gazed at her profile, which looked like a carved piece, for a moment before whispering.

“This is nothing.”

“….”

Yuan, who had said she was okay out of habit, gazed at Claude’s profile, which appeared complex, for a while before dropping her gaze.

Even though she had taken all the man’s pain, she felt guilty.

“There’s nothing to worry about.”

Yuan had only used her ability of her own will.

A sin for having intruded into his life, which would have been peaceful if it weren’t for her.

“I’m doing this because I like it, so don’t worry too much. That way, I can feel at ease too.”

“You like it?”

Claude’s face turned very red as he looked at her again.

It wasn’t just embarrassment; it was a mix of shame and confusion.

He stared at Yuan, who casually said he was okay, and finally spoke the words he had kept inside for so long.

“You know. I can’t remember.”

As Yuan understood immediately and nodded, Claude’s neck flushed red. But it was no longer a time to uphold his pride with the fact that he was the only one unaware of that passionate night everyone else knew about. After all, the person involved was aware of it.

With determination, Claude tightened his jaw and asked,

“…Is there no way I can avoid losing my memory?”

This time, Yuan’s face turned red.

If he didn’t lose his memory, he would learn that there was only pain, not the nights he imagined between them.

Yuan agreed with Lancelot’s words that Claude wasn’t such a bad person, but revealing his ability was a different matter.

“That’s beyond my abilities. But…”

Once again, he had no choice but to lie.

With a touch of sincerity, he added,

“It might be better for you not to have those memories.”

However, this single statement seemed to touch something within Claude, and his face grew even paler.

—

“Yes, you shared a bed last night as well.”

A hollow laugh escaped involuntarily.

Claude laughed lightly in front of the flustered butler, who was bewildered by the repeated question from his master. A cold smile lingered on his face, tinged with deep contempt for himself.

“It seems natural since the lady cared for the Master all night.”

“Natural?”

The butler’s attempt to comfort Claude only made things worse.

Claude stared at the blood seeping through the tightly wrapped bandages around his side, shoulder, and thigh, and for the first time, he agreed with his uncle’s opinion, who had called him a “beastly man.”

Even while enduring the agony of flesh tearing and pain piercing his body, he still shared a bed with someone.

And perhaps the reason for that shared bed was the same as the reason he couldn’t remember last night’s pain.

“To forget the pain and sleep comfortably.”

Claude glared at Gustav, who was nervously contemplating whether to leave the room, ruffling his blonde hair in irritation. As Gustav approached cautiously, Claude lowered his voice.

“Why is it only the woman suffering while sharing a bed?”

According to the whispers of the maids and Gustav’s reports, sounds of enduring pain were always heard coming from the bedroom.

While he didn’t truly not understand the reason, it felt a bit excessive for it to happen every time.

“Perhaps you two just don’t match…?”

Claude raised one eyebrow.

“Maybe the man is a bit lacking in consideration…?”

The other eyebrow twitched.

“Or maybe… both?”

Claude shot a glare at the butler, who was only increasing his anxiety rather than providing help.

Gustav left one last piece of advice with a slightly aggrieved expression.

“It would be best to restrain yourselves as Master is not in good condition. I’ve seen many rulers die from undue stress. It would be the same for women. If you can’t handle it…”

Click.

“If you treat the lady well during the day…”

Gustav closed the door smoothly as he finished speaking and disappeared.

Claude held his head in his pale hands.

—

“I won’t eat.”

His refusal was more intense than usual.

Yuan remembered the pot of soup she had prepared in advance and did not back down as she set the meal on the table.

“Don’t say that, please eat a little. I made it myself today.”

At the mention of him making it herself, Claude’s brow slightly furrowed.

He always wore a face full of dissatisfaction since his injury, and Yuan wondered what exactly bothered him so much.

“Maybe it’s better to be unpleasant than cold as ice.”

Indeed, it was true.

Claude’s remarks to leave or go away had significantly decreased. Instead, he would occasionally stare at her with an unreadable expression. And there were times when he was strangely, very strangely, gentle.

“If you don’t like it, I’ll take it back.”

Yuan noticed that Claude couldn’t particularly refuse him bringing something over.

He didn’t show signs of liking it or welcoming it, either.

Yuan pretended to be unable to resist as she supported Claude, who was sluggishly trying to rise.

Once again, she neither leaned entirely on him nor pushed him away.

His long, large body made Yuan think it was a bit heavy, yet she couldn’t help but find it somewhat endearing that Claude was at least trying to pretend to eat.

“……”

“Why are you laughing?”

“……Because you’re cute.”

His expression turned to one of disbelief at her meek reply.

“How old are you?”

It was a simple question, yet it left her speechless.

Has he ever asked such a personal question before? Was it out of courtesy? Or just boredom?

Whether he realized it or not, Claude buried his head and started eating the soup.

Yuan watched him with a feeling in her chest that was like a balloon floating up as he emptied the bowl halfway.

“How old are you, kid?”

Finally, Claude lifted his chin after finishing the soup completely.

It was quite elegant, but there was a tiny bit of soup smeared on the corner of his mouth.

Yuan chuckled and wiped his mouth for him.

Claude’s eyebrow twitched slightly.

“I’ve eaten enough.”

“Sixteen? Seventeen?”

As soon as she spoke, she felt her face turn pale, knowing where her thoughts were leading.

“If you’ve eaten enough, let’s take a walk. The path has been cleared of snow.”

“How old are you?”

With a face that had turned ashen, Claude stubbornly insisted on confirming her age.

“You’re over twenty, right?”

“I’ll tell you if you walk with me.”

At that moment, Claude’s normally pale cheeks flushed red.

Yuan quickly realized that it wasn’t embarrassment but anger that caused his reaction.

His voice, pressed tightly between his stubbornly closed lips, broke free.

“How dare you make a deal?”