Once Love Begins - Chapter 3. Part 1

Chapter 3. Part 1  

“Ha, Yeon-woo! Hey! Ha Yeon-woo!”

“Ah, yes…….”

 Jae-ho shouted, “This is the second time!”. The band practice room fell silent.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Ha Yeon-woo said.

“The festival is approaching quickly, and the opening day is only a week away. Therefore, we have limited time for rehearsals.”

She apologized to everyone but felt so sorry for her friends that she couldn’t look up.

“Let’s sing again,” she said. She didn’t want to embarrass them any further, so she tried to pull herself together and sing. However, she couldn’t seem to remember the words. As she clutched the microphone, unable to finish the song, she heard a few sighs, which were understandable.

“Let’s stop today and get together tomorrow,” said Jae-ho, the club’s vice president. Her heart sank.

Her classmates put away their instruments, knowing that practicing more would be a waste of time. She stood still, unable to lift her head. One of them patted her on the shoulder.

She gritted her teeth. She thought the warmth might bring tears to her eyes.

“What’s wrong?” she shook her head at Jae-ho’s question.

Nothing happened. He stayed out as always. Last night, she hated being alone. After the party, when he dropped her off, she hoped he would come back later.

She missed her mom and her dad, who had suddenly gone to heaven, but she couldn’t go to her grandfather. However, she didn’t feel confident enough to show her lonely, crying granddaughter to him.

Her grandfather raised her from an early age and would surely see the sadness in her eyes. She felt that she was unhappy. She had to find a way to overcome it alone. Despite closing her eyes, she couldn’t sleep and ended up falling asleep at 4 a.m.

He had not returned yet. When she woke up after sleeping for less than two hours, he was not there. She knew that her body and soul were deteriorating, but she could not bear to be without him. How could she face her grandfather with disappointment, even if it broke her heart?

She married him, promising herself happiness. She tried to kill her feelings, telling herself that she had brought this upon herself and shouldn’t be upset.

She suddenly remembered that Hee-young had apologized. Her stomach had been making noise since morning; her inability to sleep and the noisy stomach had left her in bad shape.

Her throat hurt like it was torn. But it was less painful than the pain in her heart.

“What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

“Then why are you so distracted? You’ve never been like this before.”

“I apologize.” They both sighed, exchanging glances.

She wondered how many people were affected by her actions and decided to compose herself.

“Would you like to have a drink?”

Hana and Jae-ho refrain from offering her alcohol, knowing she doesn’t like it. They stand on either side of her, shoulder to shoulder, as she nods in agreement.

“Do you know that feeling when you pass out after a few drinks?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re lucky the seniors weren’t there. The festivities were left to the third year,” he says playfully. She laughs.

“You are laughing, right? I have to work hard tomorrow, don’t I?”

“Okay, okay.”

She decided to be herself, shake off any doubts, and live her life. Upon arriving at the school bar, known for its generous servings and low prices, she was greeted by a waitress.

She had been there twice before. The first time, as a university student, she drank two shochu and fell asleep immediately. So, she decided to have a beer.

She drank about 1000 CC of beer. She had a beer, and the other two had shoju. They talked about trivial and serious things, sipped, and before she knew it, more than half the beer was gone. It is unclear whether her tolerance increased as she drank quite a bit but did not get drunk.

“Do you need to call your husband?”

“Huh?”

She looks at Hana with wide eyes. Hana pops an anchovy into her mouth, seemingly asking what is so surprising. She chews and smiles.

“If you are going to be late or drink, you should call him.”

“You should.”

She doesn’t need to call him. He won’t care if she stays out late or not. He won’t care if she’s drunk and sleeping on the street or not. He won’t even know she’s not home.

“You fought?”

Jaeho’s voice catches her attention, and she looks up. She swallows nervously under his sharp gaze, knowing that she’s a terrible liar.

“…It’s not like that.”

“We argued. We disagreed.”

Even if they weren’t, she concluded, they were fighting amongst themselves.

“Why is your husband behaving badly?”

“No, he is not bad.” She lifted her beer and took a big gulp.

‘We did fight. We fought a hundred percent.’

“…….”

She thinks about the expression she will have when she hears that. She finishes the last sip of beer in her glass, and then the memory abruptly ends.

* * *

She woke up with a throbbing head and intense stomach pain. The room seemed familiar.

‘How did I get here? Did my friends bring me home?’

‘Ugh… ugh. My head….’

She cannot remember the details, but she is sure that she did not have to worry too much. She is still wearing her coat and her favorite chicken pajamas.

She got up and strolled through the quiet living room to the kitchen where the smell of food greeted her senses. She quickly took some water from the fridge and drank it in big gulps.

She paused and set the water aside. She shook her head, wondering if Hana and Jae-ho knew her house. She couldn’t understand how she had made it home without their help.

She sat down at the table, her stomach growling loudly. All she could think about was water. When she saw the drumstick soup, her mouth watered. She thought it might help soothe her aching stomach.   

“He is at work.”

She scooped up the soup with a spoon and gulped it down, lifting the bowl.

The food was delicious. She finished the rice but didn’t finish all of the soup.

She ate well.

After cleaning up, she washed and removed her makeup. She then returned to her room and lay on her bed. Although her stomach felt better, her head still throbbed persistently.

It felt as though someone was hitting it with a small hammer. She considered taking painkillers but decided against it. She takes too many digestive supplements and also uses painkillers multiple times a month for her periods.    

She took her cell phone from the nightstand and checked it, and as expected, there was a message from Jae-ho and Hana.

 Ha, Yeon-woo’s eyes widened as she read the message. She threw her phone aside as if she had come across something she wasn’t supposed to see. Her hands trembled.

“No way.”

In disbelief, she picked up her phone again and checked the messenger. She rubbed her eyes. Nothing had changed. The same horrifying message stared back at her. It was just as unsettling as the first time she read it.

With trembling hands, she dialed Hana.

“Hana I need to ask you something,” but it’s not coming out easily.

-“Your husband is so handsome. Is he a celebrity?” Hana exclaimed.

Her heart sank.

“Did my husband come to visit last night?”

The only thing she could manage to say.

-“Yes, he called you.”

“He called me?” There’s no way he’d call me. Her eyes flickered uneasily.

-“I was considering having you stay with me at a nearby residence because you insisted on not going home until after 3 a.m. However, I was hesitant to invite a married woman into my home. At that moment, your phone rang.”

“I see.”

It was the first time she hadn’t been home by 3 a.m.

-“I answered the phone,” she said. “I told him, and he said he would pick you up.” And, of course, he did.

-“Why are you married to a man who is eight years older than you?” she asked again.

“Did I get into any trouble last night?”

In the brief moment she waited for an answer, her stomach burned.

-“No.”

“Thank God,” she said, breathing out a sigh of relief.

-“Ah! I told your husband that you wouldn’t be coming home, so he picked you up and carried you on his shoulder.”

“What?”

-“You sounded so upset.”

She was so angry that she didn’t even remember hanging up the phone. She fell back onto the bed, her face red with frustration.

‘Did I ask him to make the bean curd soup?’

‘I am losing my mind.’

A sudden memory caused her to stop.

‘No…. No, no, no….’

She will go to bed in her pajamas. Then, she will brush her teeth and remove her makeup.

‘Dead, Ha Yeon-woo. Die.’

While washing her face, she thought he was standing behind her. She wasn’t sure if she would ever forget him. Buried in her palms, she let out a muffled scream, the sound echoing silently within her.

She finished band practice despite feeling overwhelmed. Luckily, she didn’t make any mistakes like she did yesterday.

She vowed to avoid her reflection for now, or at least as long as possible. Although she knew he wasn’t there, she didn’t dare open the front door. Instead, she pressed her forehead against it.

‘What are you doing? Aren’t you coming in?’

Her heart was about to drop as she heard the low voice behind her. She stood frozen, unable to breathe, as if she had seen a ghost. He punched in the code.

“Aren’t you going in?” he asked, unable to see him waiting at the door. She noticed a pair of black, dust-free shoes pointing at her.”

She was left with no choice but to step through the door he opened for her. She waited until the last moment to remove her shoes. He took off his shoes first, and she finally caught her breath.

She looked at her neatly arranged shoes and walked slowly into the house. She believed he was in the right room but found him sitting on the couch. She stopped abruptly.

She should have entered more slowly or stayed at the coffee shop. He left for work early and appeared tired.

She felt it was all her fault and went over to his side. He opened his eyes and looked at her.

“I’m sorry,” Yeon-woo said.

He buried his face on the couch as he looked at her wordlessly.

“Don’t drink in the future,” Kang-Jae said.

“Why?”

“If you can’t hold it down, don’t drink.”

She could tell how upset he was by the low tone of his voice.

“And what about you?”

She didn’t understand why he was angry. He comes home drunk every day, and it’s almost the first time she has ever come home drunk.

“You drink yourself to death, too.”

“When did I?”

He stood up. His back was still buried in the couch. His eyes sank deep as he remembered the day.

“That day!” Yeon-woo said.

“That day?” Kang-Jae responded.

“It’s nothing.” She almost made a mistake.