Once Love Begins - Chapter 20. Part 1

Chapter 20. Part 1

“…I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” I said, my voice firm but soft.

“….”

“I’m still not done sorting things out with him,” I continued, though deep down I knew it wasn’t just about that.

Even if it weren’t about him, I couldn’t see myself and Joochan being anything more than senior and junior.

“…Even if it’s not about him, I have no intention of being in that kind of relationship with you. I’m sorry.”

He let out a bitter laugh, his gaze dropping slightly.

“You never called me ‘oppa,’ not once… but with him, it just comes out so naturally.”

His words stung, and I could feel my eyes quiver in response.

“Shall we head back?” he asked, his voice gentle again.

“Yes,” I replied quietly, not knowing what else to say.

The awkward silence stretched between us as I absentmindedly rubbed the back of my neck. Neither of us spoke again until we reached the house.

“Take care,” he said.

“…Yeah. You too, get home safe,” I replied, heading up the stairs.

Just as I was about to go inside, I heard him call my name.

“Yeonwoo.”

“Yes?” I turned, my voice cautious.

“…I wasn’t joking earlier. I meant it. I really do like you,” he said earnestly, his voice carrying the weight of his feelings. Though I couldn’t see his face clearly in the dim light, his sincerity was unmistakable.

I hesitated, my heart sinking.

“I know you’re not joking, and I appreciate your honesty. But don’t wait for me.”

“Don’t wait?” he echoed, surprised.

“No,” I replied firmly. “Even if things with him end, I won’t be with you. I’m sorry.”

His face, though hard to see, seemed to fall with pain, but I had nothing more to offer him. I knew how painful unrequited love can be, and I didn’t want to give him false hope.

I wondered, was this how Cha Kang-jae felt when someone he didn’t care about confessed their feelings to him? And I had gone further—pleading, pushing. It must have been so uncomfortable for him. The thought made me cringe inwardly.

“I’m sorry,” I said softly.

“I’ve liked you for a long time. But I can’t just turn that off so easily,” he replied.

“…”

“Sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” he added, his voice heavy with regret.

Without answering, I continued up the stairs, feeling his eyes on me the whole way. I knew he hadn’t left, but I couldn’t bring myself to look back or say anything more.

My mind was a mess. Why did it feel so natural to call Cha Kang-jae “Oppa”? Was it just out of habit? But even during our breakup, I hadn’t called him that. It had slipped out before I even realized it.

The wind was harsh, ruffling my hair and tickling my neck. For some reason, thoughts of him filled my mind. I couldn’t shake the image of him.

I wondered if he had made it home safely.

I stopped before entering the house. A shopping bag sat in front of the door. At first, I thought maybe Jae-ho or Hana had dropped it, but I remembered neither of them had brought a shopping bag with them.

Curious, I picked it up and sat on the bench outside, pulling out the contents.

“What is all this?” I murmured to myself.

Inside were gloves, a winter hat, a scarf, and earmuffs – everything I needed to keep warm. I immediately thought of how he’d looked at my bare neck earlier and bit my lip. I’d assumed he’d just left the cafe, but obviously, that wasn’t the case.

When did he drop this off?

I squeezed the bright red scarf in my hands. Just because he’s suddenly nice doesn’t erase the hurt he caused. And I’m afraid that if I let him back in, I’ll just get hurt again.

My feelings were tangled, leaving me with a sense of unease.

Last weekend, for the first time since this all started, he didn’t come. When he sent a message that he was too busy, I found myself thinking a lot about the situation. Now I had things to say, so I went back to Seoul without telling him. Mrs. Kim seemed startled when I showed up at the house unexpectedly.

Excited to cook something delicious for me, she bustled off to the kitchen, and I followed her.

“Could I have a glass of water, please?” I asked.

“Of course, just a moment,” she replied, handing me a cup shortly after. I thanked her with a small nod and sat down, my legs swinging lightly as I tried to settle in. Being home felt comforting, and familiar. But I couldn’t help but wonder—when would he arrive?

“Is there anything specific you’d like to eat?” she asked.

“Honestly, anything you cook is always amazing. I’d love to eat whatever you make.”

“Alright, I’ll whip up something delicious. Just wait a bit.”

“…I’ll wait for oppa. We can eat together when he arrives,” I added softly, unsure of what his reaction would be when he found out I was here.

I couldn’t believe that despite his hectic schedule, he had still made time to come to Jeju every week. Feeling parched, I gulped down the water, trying to soothe the dryness in my throat. In the end, I ate dinner alone. When Mrs. Kim offered to contact him, I stopped her. I wanted to see what time he typically came home on his own.

After eating, I washed up and spent quite a bit of time playing with Kiwi, but still, he didn’t show. Eventually, the housekeepers left for the evening, and even Kiwi curled up in his cozy bed, fast asleep. Sitting on the sofa, I watched TV, but when I checked the time, it was already 2 a.m.

I had decided to wait for him, but exhaustion was creeping in. Just as I rubbed my sleepy eyes and got up to get some water, I heard the front door open. I quickly turned off the TV and stared at the front door.

In the quiet of the night, his familiar footsteps echoed through the stillness of the house.

“Oh?” I muttered softly, surprised at the suddenness of his arrival.

He stopped in the middle of the living room, staring at me with wide, disbelieving eyes. He rubbed his eyes as if trying to make sure I was really there. His tired face showed a mixture of confusion and exhaustion.

“Yeonwoo… Yeonwoo?”

His voice was hoarse and shaky, weighed down by fatigue. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself before speaking.

“Have you been working this whole time?”

Before I could say more, he walked towards me with a sudden urgency. I instinctively took a step back, but he grabbed my shoulders and turned me around as if he wanted to make sure I was okay.

“Why are you here? When did you come back from Jeju? Is something wrong?”

Seriously? How could he worry about me when he looked like he was the one on the verge of collapsing? I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek, feeling a mix of emotions rises. His warm hands on my shoulders radiated a heat that only made me more aware of how drained he looked.

“…I just had some things to take care of, so I came back for a bit,” I replied quietly, unsure how to explain myself.

He stepped out of his room, unable to wait any longer, water still dripping from his hair as he hastily squeezed it with his hands. I watched him as he approached the sofa, his tension palpable. He sat across from me, nervously licking his lips, and I could see he was on edge.

His mouth opened, then closed again, before he finally managed to ask, “…What do you need to talk about?”

Water dripped from the ends of his dark hair, soaking his shoulders. As I looked down, something felt off, and it didn’t take long to figure out what it was. Even after showering, he still wore his watch. When I stared at his left wrist, he instinctively hid his hand behind him.

“…Is the inheritance process done? It’s been nearly two months,” I asked, my voice steady.

“Ah, yeah… It’s almost finished,” he replied, his tone uncertain.

“It’s done, right?” I pressed, my eyes locked on his face.

He looked down, clearly wanting to avoid my question. His dark eyes, as deep as his hair, were hidden behind those thick lashes, and I couldn’t help but notice how long they were, even for a man.

“Is it done?” I repeated, needing a straight answer.

“…Yes,” he finally said, his eyelashes fluttering slightly as he looked up at me again, his expression full of hesitation.

“I’ll go abroad then,” I said firmly.

“No!” His sudden, desperate shout startled me, making me shrink back.

“S-sorry, I didn’t mean to yell,” he quickly apologized, realizing how loud he had been. It was strange seeing him like this—apologizing so easily, something he would never have done in the past.

“I don’t have a reason to stay here. I want to live abroad,” I said, my tone steady.

“Yeonwoo…” he started, his voice softer now.

“Just finalize the divorce papers,” I continued, unwilling to back down.

“…What about going back to school instead?” he asked, a surprising suggestion that caught me off guard.

“Going back to school?” I repeated, blinking in surprise. I hadn’t even considered it.

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“Your grandfather always wanted you to finish your degree. And… you only took a break because of me, so maybe it’s time to go back.” His voice was tentative, almost pleading.

I didn’t need him to explain further—I knew why he felt guilty. He blamed himself for my leaving school when I moved to the U.S. after the inheritance issue.

“It’s fine. I don’t plan on coming back to Korea. If I do go back to school, it’ll be abroad,” I replied firmly.

“…It was your grandfather’s wish,” he said quietly.

“Before he passed, he asked me to look after you. I have a reason to protect you.”

“……”

“Your relatives won’t leave you alone, especially since the inheritance came to me as your husband. They’ll pressure you, and having me by your side is the safest way to protect yourself,” he continued. His voice was calm, but I could see the weight of the situation in his eyes.

One of my relatives had already come to Jeju, asking me to talk to him about giving them a small subsidiary. I had refused, but I knew they wouldn’t stop.

“Can you consider postponing the divorce until you graduate? Once you finish, I’ll give you whatever you want. We can settle everything on your terms,” he said, running a hand through his hair in frustration. His hand trembled slightly, drawing my attention.

“Please, help me honor your grandfather’s last wish,” he pleaded, his voice low and sincere.

I sighed deeply, unsure of what to say.

“I don’t know…”

“Please,” he repeated, his tone desperate.

Just a few months ago, I couldn’t stand the thought of being in the same country as him. Now, as I looked at the man in front of me—so different from the one I had known before—I realized I didn’t feel that same burden. Seeing him tense and anxious, waiting for my answer, made my heart heavy.

“Use me as your safety net. Once you graduate, we’ll part ways however you want,” he pleaded softly, almost desperately.

“This is my duty, the one I received from your grandfather’s will. Let me fulfill it,” he added, his voice thick with emotion. His face looked as if he was on the verge of tears.

Why does he look like that, as if he’s the one hurting?

“If you hate being in the same house as me, I’ll move out,” he offered, his hand trembling again.

I wanted to ask him why he was shaking, why he looked like he was barely holding it together, but the words stuck in my throat.

“…I’m afraid,” I admitted quietly.

“……”