Once Love Begins - Chapter 19. Part 4

Chapter 19. Part 4

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Arriving a little early, my senior, Joochan and I walked from the house down to the beach. There was a small path for walking, and after about 30 minutes, we reached a tiny convenience store. We bought warm canned coffee and walked back, the gentle rhythm of the stroll easing the quiet between us.

Just as we were approaching the house, I noticed someone at the entrance of the alleyway, panting heavily. Both Joochan and I stopped in our tracks.

“Why is he…?” Joochan began, but his words faded into the background.

It was Cha Kang-jae. His face was pale, and he looked like he might cry at any moment. His eyes locked onto mine as he braced his hands on his knees, catching his breath. Beads of sweat covered his forehead and the nape of his neck as if he had been searching for me.

He straightened up, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, then turned his gaze slowly toward my side. When he saw Joochan standing next to me, his eyes wavered, like the restless sea behind him. The clear blue sky framed against his shoulders looked like a painting, and for some reason, it made my eyes sting.

I stepped closer to him. 

“Why are you here? Is it about the inheritance again?” I asked. 

“…Yeah,” he replied, his voice low.

I couldn’t help but notice his lips, cracked and full of small wounds, likely from biting at them. 

“But did you move rooms?” he asked, his gaze drifting back to me. 

“Yes.” 

“Why? Did something happen?”

It wasn’t a sudden decision to move. Staring at the sea all the time had made me feel down. The house I was staying in before had a view of the ocean from every room, whether it was the living room or even the bathroom. So I moved to a place where the sea was only visible from the living room, hoping it would feel less overwhelming. 

“The view wasn’t to my liking,” I said simply.

“I see,” he replied softly.

“It’s just next door, though. But how did you know I moved?” I asked, curious about how he had found out.

“I went to your old place, but they told me you had moved. For a moment… I thought you had run away,” he said, trailing off with a weak smile. If I looked closely, I could see the slight tremble in his lips, revealing how forced that smile was.

“Why would I run away?” I asked, raising my eyebrows in surprise. Run away? From what?

His lips curved into a faint smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Senior, I’m going to have a quick talk with him,” I said, turning to Joochan.

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll take a longer walk,” Joochan replied, waving off any concern. It was a warm day for winter, with not a single breeze. I nodded, and Joochan began walking back the way we came.

“Let’s go,” I said to Kang-Jae, gesturing for him to follow me.

His intense gaze made my feet tingle with nervousness, so I quickened my pace, walking ahead of him. I could almost feel the weight of his stare on my back, sharp and penetrating.

The once quiet café had become quite popular over the past month, now buzzing with people. We made our way to a secluded corner, avoiding the crowds taking photos by the windows. I had worn a hat just in case anyone recognized me, though no one had so far.

“Take a seat. I’ll go order,” he said.

“Okay,” I replied.

“Coffee, right?”

I hadn’t been drinking coffee lately because it kept me up at night, but I just nodded anyway.

I removed the uncomfortable hat and set it down on the chair next to me. Glancing at the envelope he had placed on the table, I tapped it lightly with my fingers. How long was he going to use the excuse of sorting out the inheritance to keep showing up? He looked much worse than the last time I saw him. I wondered briefly if he was sleeping enough, or even eating properly.

Why am I even worrying about him?

I shook my head, trying to dismiss the thought.

“What’s wrong?” His voice startled me as he returned with the coffee.

“Oh, nothing. I guess I should just take a look at this, right?” I said, gesturing toward the envelope, eager to move on from my wandering thoughts.

I couldn’t bring myself to look at his face, so I focused on the papers in front of me, or at least tried to. The words blurred as I forced myself to read them.

“Drink your coffee,” he said softly.

“…Thanks,” I murmured, grateful for the distraction.

I kept my head down, trying not to notice him sitting across from me, his legs crossed, watching. My hair fell forward, conveniently shielding my view of his face. I could feel his eyes on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to meet it.

“What… What are you doing?” I blurted out when he suddenly reached out his hand.

“…I couldn’t see your face because of your hair,” he said quietly, pulling his hand back. His voice was gentle, but I bit my lip, feeling embarrassed.

“Sorry,” he added, his tone soft, as if he knew he’d startled me.

Cha Kang-jae had changed—too much. The man who used to bark orders and throw out hurtful comments now apologized so easily. I lowered my gaze to hide the unease in my eyes.

Then, I heard a familiar voice in the background. My voice. My body froze in place.

“…Is that you?” he asked, his eyes narrowing slightly.

“N-no, it’s not,” I stammered, feeling the heat rising in my face.

“Really? Whoever it is, their voice is beautiful,” he said in a calm tone, not pressing further. But his simple words made my heart feel like it was shrinking. How did he recognize my voice so quickly? My singing voice and speaking voice were different enough that most people wouldn’t make the connection.

I could’ve told him the truth, that it was my song, but for some reason, I felt too shy to admit it. Ever since the drama’s OST gained popularity, my song has been playing everywhere, from radio stations to coffee shops like this one. My ears burned with embarrassment, and before I knew it, he leaned in closer, his voice soft.

“Are you done reading?” he asked, breaking through my flustered thoughts.

“Yeah,” I replied, gathering the documents and slipping them back into the envelope.

“…I’ve seen your face, that’s enough. I’m leaving now.”

“What about the stamp?” I asked.

“I don’t need it today. I came just to make sure you read through the papers,” he said.

Why did he come in person for something so simple? He could’ve easily sent someone else.

“It’s cold. Take care not to catch a cold,” he added, glancing at my bare neck before standing up. With a bittersweet smile, he turned and walked away. I found myself watching his retreating figure for a long time. Was it just me, or did his shoulders seem heavier, more slumped than usual?

A while later, Jae-ho and Hana arrived, bringing with them a whirlwind of energy that immediately lifted the quiet mood. They had gone to the market instead of a restaurant, so the house was filled with the chaotic sounds of preparation.

We decided to cook at home. The fish was already prepared, and all that remained was to cook the spicy fish stew. While I plated the side dishes, Hana carried them outside where the two guys were grilling meat. Of course, they started asking for alcohol to go with it.

“Why didn’t we just eat out? Who’s going to clean all this up?” I groaned.

“Don’t worry, there are two people here who can handle that,” Hana said with a smile, causing Jae-ho to laugh.

“I wanted to see how you’re living with my own eyes. But it seems I don’t have to worry—you’re keeping things neat,” Jae-ho added.

“I just moved in, that’s why,” I said, brushing it off.

“Still. Our Yeonwoo has grown up,” Hana teased, playfully ruffling my hair. I nudged her shoulder in return, making her laugh out loud.

“Tell your mom I’m grateful for all the side dishes,” I said, referring to the abundance of homemade banchan Hana’s mom had sent over.

“Let’s have a drink,” Jae-ho suggested. It was always about drinks when we got together, but it never got old. Even when we talked about the same things, it was always so funny that we ended up laughing until we couldn’t breathe. Being with them reminded me of what I missed most while I was abroad—these moments with friends. I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt.

As we ate, my senior kept placing pieces of meat on my plate, making me smile.

“Don’t go back abroad. Stay here with me, hmm?” he said with a playful smile.

Hana, drunk, hugged me tightly, refusing to let go. I patted her back gently, feeling a strange warmth. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was something more, but for a moment, it didn’t seem like I had to leave the country after all. Even the thought of Cha Kang-Jae had started to feel less unsettling. He didn’t pressure me anymore, didn’t demand anything.

I thought of the way he had turned away earlier and slowly shook my head.

“Want to take a walk?” Joochan offered, his eyes meeting mine.

I blinked at him, surprised, but nodded. “Sure.”

He put a shawl over my shoulders and I smiled at the gesture. We had cleaned up most of the place, but the rest would have to wait until tomorrow. Jae-ho took Hana inside and gently helped her into bed.

As we walked along the path we had taken earlier in the afternoon, I took a deep breath, feeling the cool air clear my mind.

“When are you heading back, senior? You’re not staying here for good, are you?”

He hesitated, then said, “…Before I answer that, there’s something I want to ask you.”

“What is it?” I asked, curious.

My senior stopped walking, and I followed suit, looking up at him. His tall frame loomed over me as his gaze became serious.

“Are you getting back together, or are you going through with the divorce?”

“…Why do you…” I started to ask, but before I could finish, he interrupted.

“I hope you get divorced,” he said bluntly.

I stayed silent.

“I want you to live your life. When I saw you in New York, you looked so happy,” he continued, his voice gentle but firm.

I clenched my jaw.

“But now… what is this? Do you even realize how you look when you’re around him? Like you’re about to cry any second.”

“Me?” I asked, not quite believing him.

“Yeah. Even now, when you talk about him, it’s like you’re holding back tears.”

I wanted to change my expression, to hide what I was feeling, but maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was something deeper, that made it impossible. He could see right through me, and I knew he was right.

Seeing the emotion on my face, my senior stepped closer.

“Don’t stay next to someone who makes you unhappy,” he said softly, the words hanging in the air between us.

“…Senior,” I started, but he cut me off.

“I like you. Enough to leave behind my family, my father, everything. I could write songs and take care of you for the rest of our lives. So, please…”

“Stop,” I interrupted, taking a step back, suddenly feeling the weight of his words.

“If it were me, you’d never have to make that sad face again. So, leave him,” he pleaded, his voice filled with emotion.

I felt my heart sink at his words, my mind swirling with confusion. This was the last thing I expected to hear. His sincerity weighed heavily on me, and yet, all I felt was a growing sadness.