Once Love Begins - Chapter 16. Part 2

Chapter 16. Part 2

As expected, no one really looked for me. Thanks to him, both my grandfather and my in-laws were kept in the dark. Or rather, thanks to the lies he told.

“How was the trip? Didn’t you take any pictures?”

“No, I just rested and relaxed.”

I stirred the ice in my cup with the straw, trying to hide my awkward smile.

“Must be nice, going on a trip. I was dying from my mom’s nagging every day.”

My hand froze mid-stir. Hana seemed envious of my supposed trip, but in truth, I envied her. How wonderful it would be to hear a mother’s nagging, to spend every day with her. I swallowed another bitter smile.

“What about Jaeho? Still no contact?”

Hana’s shoulders slumped. Jaeho, who was in the military, hadn’t contacted either of us. What a jerk. He was avoiding contact on purpose, knowing full well that Hana was waiting for him.

“I don’t care. I’m going on a blind date. Why should I wait for a guy like that?”

Even though she was still waiting for him. I gently patted Hana’s hand as she tried to sound nonchalant.

“Even if he comes to see me, I won’t meet him.”

“Why are you crying? Don’t cry.”

I was startled when Hana suddenly started crying, tears streaming down her face. I quickly handed her a tissue.

“I guess I liked Jaeho more than I thought. It’s killing my pride. Every time I think about how he’s probably not even thinking about me, my blood just boils. I’m going crazy.”

“…”

“And yet, I still miss him. What’s so great about that jerk anyway?”

She wiped her tears with the back of her hand, grumbling as she did. Hana’s honesty, and her raw emotions, made her look so beautiful and full of life.

I used to be like that too—there was a time when I felt those bright, sparkling moments when I liked him.

My eyes fell, sinking deeper. I didn’t want Hana to see the pain in my eyes, so I kept them lowered.

“Uh? Uh?”

“What? What’s wrong?”

Hana was staring at her phone screen, unable to form a coherent sentence. She was so shocked that her mouth hung open, unable to close.

“What’s going on?”

I looked at the screen in her hand.

“Shin Jaeho?”

Jaeho was calling.

“Answer it, quickly.”

Hana’s face had gone pale, frozen in place, unable to answer the call. I gently shook her wrist, and she finally snapped out of it, taking a deep breath to steady her voice. Her trembling hands answered the call, and her face lit up with a mix of hope and anticipation.

“Hello?”

Even though she tried to sound annoyed, Hana couldn’t hide her happiness. Watching her, I smiled genuinely. I hoped things would work out between her and Jaeho. I wanted the two people I cared about most to be happy.

“Yeonwoo…”

“What did Jaeho say?”

She holds her phone tightly, her expression one of disbelief.

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Jaeho…”

“Yeah?”

“He wants to meet.”

“Is he on leave?”

“Yeah. He says he’s coming to my place and wants me to come out. What should I do?”

Just a moment ago, she said she wouldn’t meet him even if he came looking for her, but now she was practically bouncing in her seat, eager to go. Understanding how she felt, I nodded.

“Go, quickly.”

“…Yeah!”

Without hesitation, Hana stood up and dashed out the door, not even looking back. I watched her until she disappeared, hoping with all my heart that she and Jaeho would find happiness together.

Now I had to go home, but I didn’t want to. Still, I reluctantly got up, knowing I couldn’t leave the driver waiting in the cold.

It was he who insisted on sending a driver with me for this rare outing, even though I’d declined, saying I’d be fine. I wanted to go for a walk in the park alone, to feel the wind on my face. But as soon as I stepped outside, the biting wind slashed across my cheeks. February’s wind was unforgiving.

Just standing there for a moment made my ears feel like they were about to freeze off.

I pulled my scarf up over my nose and got into the car. Even though the car was warm, almost uncomfortably so, the cold seemed to linger. It felt as if the chill had seeped into my bones, so I rubbed my arms, trying to shake off the lingering cold.

* * *

It was a Friday night when I went to Hannam-dong to answer my mother-in-law’s call. I remembered his face and how he had insisted that I inform him whenever I went out, but I ignored the reminder. I spent time with my mother-in-law, arranging flowers, one of her hobbies, and we took a walk in the garden. Seeing her shed tears over my weight loss filled me with guilt.

After dinner, we were eating fruit when she excused herself, saying she’d be right back, and went to her bedroom. I waited on the couch and thought. There was a time when this place was so comforting. I used to come here often, especially when my grandfather was busy, and I would eat a lot.

The main reason I came was to see him, but no one ever questioned it. Neither my mother-in-law nor my sister-in-law did. They always told me I was welcome anytime, treating me like a daughter or an older sister.

“Take this.”

“What is it?”

“A gift. It’s something I’ve planned to pass down to all the daughters-in-law in our family.”

I lightly traced the edges of the luxurious box with my fingers. As I hesitated to take it, my mother-in-law opened the box, revealing a ring and a necklace. She handed them to me, and the weight of the jewelry felt heavy in my hands. My heart grew just as heavy.

“Yeonwoo, when you have a daughter-in-law one day, pass it on to her. If you don’t have a daughter-in-law, you can give it to your daughter instead.”

“Oh…”

I felt a lump in my throat as I nodded, unable to find the right words. The gesture was kind, but it only added to the burden I was already carrying.

I quickly placed the ring and necklace back into the box. Unable to handle my mother-in-law’s warm gaze, I turned my head away, but she gently grasped my hand.

“I’m so grateful that you’re my daughter-in-law.”

“…Thank you.”

“No, I’m the one who’s thankful.”

I couldn’t bring myself to meet her eyes. Marriage isn’t just a personal affair—it’s a significant life event that involves families. Lately, I’ve felt this more than ever. The hand my mother-in-law was gently patting began to feel increasingly warm.

Suddenly, my chest tightened with a sense of suffocation.

“He said he was busy, but once he heard you were here, he made sure to come.”

Following my mother-in-law’s kind smile as she looked behind me, I turned my eyes in the same direction.

“You’re here?”

“Yes.”

He stood there, dressed in a black coat that came down to his knees. Following my mother-in-law’s lead, I stood up as well. As I walked toward him, I could catch the scent of the winter chill that clung to him.

“Did you eat?”

“I had something light,” he replied, glancing briefly at me as he stood beside his mother.

I lifted the corners of my mouth into a slight smile. His eyebrow twitched slightly in response.

Our eyes met briefly, but we didn’t exchange any words.

“He must have come because he knew you were here,” my mother-in-law whispered with a bright, almost girlish expression. I nearly replied, “That’s not likely,” but held my tongue.

Since being discharged from the hospital, he and I had been sleeping in separate rooms. I had been trying to avoid him as much as possible, and he hadn’t forced any interaction.

When we happened to cross paths, he would simply ask how I was doing or if I was feeling better, always in a gentle tone.

Even his questions didn’t make my heart race like it used to. My heart didn’t flutter or feel anxious anymore. Letting go of my expectations had brought me a strange sense of peace.

After washing his hands, he came back and sat on the sofa, eating some fruit. He noticed the box on the table and glanced at me, silently asking what it was, but I didn’t respond.

“That? I gave it to Yeonwoo. I specially ordered it to be passed down through the family,” my mother-in-law explained on my behalf.

“I see,” he replied, nodding as he picked up the box and stood up slowly. Even though I had to tilt my head back to see him, his face remained out of view.

“Oh, it’s already this late. Are you leaving?” my mother-in-law asked.

Oh, leaving.

I stood up as well, reaching for my coat, intending to follow him.

“No, I’m staying the night,” he said, catching me by surprise.

I had assumed he was going home, so his response made my eyes widen in surprise. I quickly tried to mask my reaction, but I doubted it went unnoticed.

“Is that so? Well, it’s late, so stay the night,” my mother-in-law said, her face lighting up with a smile. Seeing her so happy made it impossible for me to refuse.

I followed him as he carried the box upstairs. When I stopped at the door to our room, he turned to me and leaned down slightly.

“I haven’t been sleeping well lately; I’m just so tired.”

“…”

“Let’s just stay here tonight.”

He had already decided to stay, yet he acted as if he needed my permission. Up close, I noticed how exhausted he looked.

“Is that okay?” he asked.

Would he leave if I said no?

With an emotionless expression, I gave a slight nod.

“Let’s go inside,” he said, gently taking my wrist and leading me into the room. I looked at the bed in the middle of the room, but I didn’t feel anything. No fluttering heart, no nerves. He mentioned that he was going to shower first and went into the bathroom while I sat on the edge of the bed.

In the past, just the sound of the water running in the bathroom would have made my heart race uncontrollably. But now, there was nothing—no emotion, no sensation. I pressed my left hand against my chest, wondering if my heart had stopped beating. It felt like my heart had broken down completely.

When he came out of the bathroom, he was sitting on the bed reading a book. As I applied lotion, I glanced at him. The only sound in the room was the soft rustle of the pages turning. Pretending not to notice the awkward atmosphere, I continued to apply lotion.

It had been two months since we last shared a room, so it felt strange to be here together again. But did it have to be this awkward? After finishing with the lotion, I walked toward the bed, and he closed his book, placing it on the table.

The bed in this room was smaller than the one at home, and even smaller than the one at my grandfather’s house. This was the room he used before we got married, and while my mother-in-law had offered to replace the bed, he had insisted there was no need since he wouldn’t be staying here often.

Maybe I should have agreed to change it back then.

As I lay down on the narrow bed, it felt like the slightest movement would cause our arms to touch. I positioned myself as close to the edge of the bed as possible. He turned off the light and lay down beside me. Curling up on my side, I closed my eyes.

Was it because I had closed my eyes?

The soft rustling of the blanket and the sound of his breathing were so clear that I could hardly ignore them. Realizing that sleep wouldn’t come, I slowly opened my eyes. The scent of him was stronger in this room, perhaps because it was the one he used before we got married. The familiar smell that I had once breathed in deeply when in his arms filled the air around me.

I was wearing the pajamas my mother-in-law had given me, as I didn’t have any of my own here. The fabric was light and soft, and I found myself absentmindedly rubbing it between my fingers. The room was silent behind me. I wondered if he had already fallen asleep.

Suddenly, I felt an arm wrap around my waist, causing my shoulders to tense up. I instinctively reached out to push his arm away, but then he lowered his head and pressed his lips against the nape of my neck. It had been two months since we had any physical contact, with each of us sleeping in separate rooms.

His touch felt so unfamiliar that I instinctively squirmed, but this only made him move even closer, almost pressing down on my back. The damp sensation of his lips against my skin, followed by the coolness of the air, sent a shiver through me. The room was warm, like a heated floor, but goosebumps rose all over my body.