Once Love Begins - Chapter 1. Part 2

Chapter 1. Part 2

She sighed and ran her hand through her sweaty hair. She looked out at the garden, which used to be a source of relaxation but now failed to provide any comfort. She wondered when this change had occurred. Coming home no longer brought her comfort.

She couldn’t pinpoint whether it was the guilt of deceiving her grandfather or the difficulty of witnessing his feigned friendliness. She regretted giving in to his demand that she marry him before he would agree to undergo surgery.

Two years ago, and even now, she was naive, foolish, and impulsive. After sitting in the balcony chair for a while, she looked out over the garden before getting up.

Recently, he had been sighing frequently, and it wasn’t just affecting her. Each sigh seemed to make her feel a bit smaller. She cautiously opened the door to his room and hesitated. Thinking he was asleep, she found him reading a book.

He looked at her and put the book down on the bedside table. She lay at the foot of the bed. He turned off the light, anticipating her coming. They usually slept in separate rooms at home, but when she visited her grandfather’s house, they had to share a room.

They shared a bed. However, there was an unbridgeable distance between them. She turned slowly and sensed his even exhalation. She tried to reach out to touch him but found herself unable to do so. Instead, she stared away. With eyes used to the darkness, she looked at his sleeping face.

It was the kind of face she only saw in that moment. She couldn’t even see her husband’s face. Her heart sank, and it felt as though it would shatter if she touched it.

Tears welled up in her eyes. However, she gritted her teeth and controlled them, knowing that he would never look at her. She resolved not to cry, as she always had. She felt she shouldn’t shed tears because she had brought this upon herself.

She turned over again and closed her eyes. When she woke up, he had already left for work. Looking at the time, it was 6 a.m. Her mind raced with thoughts, “When did he leave? Did he go to see her—the girl he worked with and his girlfriend, Hee-young?”

Her heart throbbed at the thought of her. Did he hate her more for leaving his girlfriend Hee-young and choosing her? Did she ruin his relationship with Hee-young again, just like she did in elementary school?

She leaned back against the head of the bed and smoothed out her messy hair. Practicing a smile, she forced the corners of her mouth to turn up. Reflecting on it, she couldn’t recall the last time she had genuinely smiled from the heart.

Before she got married, she thinks she still smiled occasionally, but in the two years they’ve been married, she has forgotten how to smile.

She couldn’t even ask a simple question like, “When did you leave?”.

She found it ridiculous that she couldn’t even call him her husband. However, her infatuation continued to intensify, and now she is uncertain about her true emotions. She is unsure if she genuinely loves him, if she is content with herself for loving him, or if she has developed an unhealthy obsession with someone who hates her.

Instead of returning to bed for rest, she washed up and went downstairs. Her grandfather was already having breakfast at the kitchen table, precisely at seven o’clock.

“Why don’t you eat first? Are you waiting for me?”

“Hmm. You look a little thin. You should eat more.”

She apologized for causing him concern. She smiled, practicing the upward twitch of the corners of her mouth. Her grandfather had always liked her laugh, so much so that when she laughed, he would join in.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. I’m okay.”

She wondered if he knew she was lying, and the corners of her mouth twitched with worry. This is why she’s not good at lying. She’s so different from him. Maybe they can’t connect because they’re different.

She smiled bitterly. She noticed his eyes narrowing, and she looked away, pretending to pick up a side dish.

“If something happens, please inform me immediately. Do not keep it to yourself and then let it slip out.”

“Okay, Grandpa.”

“I’m always on your side, Yeon-woo.”

She nodded and hastily shoveled rice into her mouth. She fought back tears with all her might, not wanting to cry in front of her grandfather. He had undergone heart surgery two years ago, and she didn’t want to add to his stress or surprise him.

He still underwent checkups every few months. She felt bloated and as though she had to force herself to eat. When she requested some digestive medicine from her grandmother, he seemed surprised.

She felt even more surprised because she hadn’t experienced bloating until she got married. Her grandmother, who had managed household chores since her childhood, appeared concerned and hurried to fetch the medicine.

It was a digestive remedy they used a few times a week at home. She smiled bitterly. After taking the pills, she strolled around the garden, and her bloating improved significantly.

Her phone vibrated briefly, displaying a message: ‘Don’t be late for practice.’ She smiled and replied, expressing her understanding. She had exerted considerable effort to enroll in the same university as him. She knew he probably wouldn’t care. However, she still desired to share something in common with him.

Although he was studying abroad, it did not discourage her. She initially tried to follow him, but when she asked her grandfather to send her overseas to study, he rejected the idea. She gave up on the idea of studying abroad early on and instead focused on attending school.

Since she was young, she believed her only goal in life was to be a musician. However, when she eventually reached college, she found it unenjoyable until she joined the college band. Surprisingly, being in the band turned out to be more fun than she had expected. It marked the first time she enjoyed something other than being focused on him.

Her friend, Jae-ho, played the drums, and she served as the vocalist. They made it to the club room on time, a good thing because Shin Jae-ho would nag them if they were late.

Her grandfather offered her a car with a driver as a college gift, but she refused. Only her best friends, Jae-ho and Hana, knew that she was the granddaughter of the Shin Group and that she got married two years ago.

She tried to keep it a secret. However, when she came across two part-timers on her way out of the wedding, she couldn’t resist telling the truth.

“You came?”

“Yeah. Have you decided what you’re going to sing?”

“I’ve got a couple; let’s try them out and decide.”   

On that day, they selected the song for next month’s festival. Singing made her feel like the center of the world, which is why she loved it. She performed three songs consecutively.

The five of them—drums, bass, electronics, piano, and her as the vocalist—played and sang in perfect sync.

“What do you think?”

“I think this is the best one.”

“I think so too.”

The piano player expressed a preference for the third song, and the others agreed.

“So let’s go with this one, then?”

“Yeah. And let’s practice the rest of the songs.”

The practice had seemed endless. After several rehearsals, they decided to call it a day.

“All that singing made me hungry!”

Two of them made excuses, citing an appointment. Jae-ho and Hana went to a restaurant in front of the school. During high school, some students approached her after realizing she was Shinwoo’s granddaughter. It hurt her deeply to find out that they only wanted to befriend her for money.

She observed them arguing about the fish cakes in the tteokbokki.

“You’re the one eating all the fish cakes!”

“Hey, I gave them to you because you wouldn’t eat them!”

“I was trying to save money!”

A smile appeared. The two looked up when they heard the laughter.

“What? Shinwoo Group’s granddaughter has a house full of fish cakes, and they’re fighting?”

“It’s not like that. Auntie, I just want two more tteokbokki here.”

“You’re buying?”

“Yes.”

At one point, her eyes widened, and the two men clapped their hands.

“That’s right, my friend.”

“Yeah. You know I love you a lot, right?”

While chewing on her tteokbokki, Hana was taken aback when she heard the word ‘love’ spoken with a smile.

“I love people who buy me food for life.”

The two openly praised the granddaughters of the Shinwoo group. They did not engage in any gossip or teasing behind their backs, at least not like their childhood friends.

“But when are you going to show me your husband?”

“Do you want me to show you? Will you eat him?”

His comment caused her to lose her appetite. The lady put two servings of tteokbokki on the table, but she couldn’t eat them.

“What does he look like that makes him so fascinating to you? Who is eight years younger than him?”

“Should he look like a tiger with snouts?”

“No, he’s not?”

Throughout it all, she sat by her side.

“Tell your husband that your friends are waiting for him.” Their eyes are shining.

“Okay, let’s eat tteokbokki.”

“After this, do you want to go to karaoke?”

“Karaoke again?”

“Of course!”

“Of course I do.”

She smiled at her friends. They were eating tteokbokki competitively. She wondered how he would react if she told him that her friends wanted to meet him. Would he give her a horrified look, wondering what she was talking about?

“Hey, what are you doing to Tteokbokki?”

“Are you crazy?”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

Lost in thought about him, she absentmindedly smashed the rice cake with her fork. She generously offered to cover the cost of the karaoke, causing her friends to scream in delight at her generosity. They praised her as a queen. They were truly unstoppable.

After the karaoke, they went to a coffee shop to chat. Time flew by quickly. When Hanna asked why she didn’t head home earlier, she replied that her husband was running late. She hadn’t contacted him yet.

After getting away from her friends, she wandered the streets for a while. Instead of heading straight home, she leaned against the wall and looked up at the sky. The twinkling stars made her smile sadly.

The flowers on the roadside seemed to be happy as well, so why wasn’t she? She was the only one who seemed unhappy.

They lived in a luxurious villa community that is home to celebrities from all walks of life. Despite having a nice house that she could afford, she wasn’t happy.

She grew up surrounded by the finest things as the granddaughter of the Shinwoo Group. Her grandfather always provided her with the best, and she took it for granted.

“I’m not too greedy,” she would say with a sigh.

She was capable of achieving anything she desired, but she never aimed too high. Without him, she wouldn’t be living in their current home.

She took the elevator to the top floor and entered the silent house. Removing her shoes, she sat on the couch and drew her knees up to her face, avoiding the view of the Han River.

She hated being alone. Despite her grandfather’s kindness and his position as chairman of the Shinwoo Group, which is safe to say is a leading role in Korea, she couldn’t shake off the loneliness in her heart. She didn’t show it, but she always longed for and needed love.

Some may argue, “What’s the matter with having so much money?” but money doesn’t buy happiness.

She realized she would never receive the love she desired. This made her feel lonely.

After waiting anxiously for over 12 hours, she sent him a text. She doesn’t usually text him, but she wanted him to come early today.