Not Sober - Chapter 1. Part 1

Chapter 1. Part 1

At first glance, he seemed like an older guy, but with an untamed aura about him.

He drove a different car every day. His hair was a faded yellow color, and his curls were neatly styled.

He had a commanding presence wherever he went, effortlessly becoming the focal point of any gathering or awkward conversation, especially in a college setting.

People had varying opinions about him, ranging from casually labeling him as someone who enjoyed brief encounters, frequented clubs, and was overly interested in the opposite sex to more severe accusations of being involved in drug use and promiscuous activities.

“He was spotted with some girls at the Ectagon last Saturday. Tae-seok witnessed it.”

“Rumor has it, they dabble in drugs there too.”

“Gak-keuk-hyeom, you are fortunate to have supportive parents and a good life. Meanwhile, some of us are struggling to make ends meet in school and are overwhelmed by student loans.”

“His questionable morals were well-known before he returned to school. Disgusting.”

Jenna’s classmates’ hurtful words stung. However, Jenna chose to remain silent instead of joining in their gossip. Watching the yellow-haired, carefree older man in the distance made her envy him. He seemed to live in a world completely different from hers—a world of freedom and spontaneity. Jenna couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy.

Jenna had a sheltered upbringing, following her parents’ strict expectations. She didn’t experience holding hands with a man or even indulge in dating until she was 23. Her parents insisted on upholding the family’s traditions as the first-born daughter in a line steeped in Yang family history.

‘Following blindly like a sheep or a minion is pointless if they don’t support you.’ Jenna furrowed her brow as she recalled her parents’ words.  ‘True success comes from ancestral blessings, something we do not have. ‘What kind of legacy are we preserving?’

Jenna couldn’t escape her parents’ obsession with their ancestry and family history.

Jenna messaged a guy she met online when she was younger, keeping it a secret from her parents. She believed caution was necessary, but her parents disagreed. When they eventually found out, Jenna faced severe consequences, including a brutal beating.

If she could be so severely punished for a few messages, Jenna dreaded thinking about what would happen if she dared to pursue a relationship. Her parents had warned her against dating just anyone and deemed it improper for a girl to be involved with random guys from undesirable families.

Her parents constantly reminded her that she must marry someone of a certain status because of their family’s long-standing lineage. They assured her that when the time was right, they would handle it, and she should avoid any folly, so she shouldn’t worry.

Jenna grew tired of their constant reminders, the nonsense, and the endless phone calls after 8:00 p.m. It felt like the weight of it all was choking her, leaving her breathless.

*

Problems in life often accumulate gradually rather than erupting in a single dramatic event. They can be compared to a pile that builds up until it finally reaches a breaking point. Today was no exception; it was just another ordinary day.

Jenna’s parents would call her after 8:00 p.m. to check on her, which was annoying but easily resolved with a quick phone call to reassure them of her whereabouts. However, today Jenna had reached her limit.

‘How much longer do I have to endure this?’ she wondered aloud.

Jenna, now 23, is no longer a high school student or a new parent at 20.  She hoped they would eventually see things from her perspective. She initially empathized with her parents and understood their concerns, but as she looked around, she realized none of her peers were still living under such strict control at her age.

“Finally, it’s done!” someone exclaimed as the group finished their assignment.

“Great job, everyone! Let’s hit the bar and celebrate,” another suggested eagerly.

“Yeah, let’s go! Tomorrow’s the weekend anyway, so why not?” The excitement in the group was palpable.

As they closed their laptops and prepared to leave, they chattered away, filling the room with noise. However, when they noticed Jenna still sitting there, they suddenly fell silent.

“Oh, wait… Jenna isn’t coming, right?” someone questioned, making assumptions without even asking her.

 Jenna’s absence from parties during her college years was not surprising. Her parents’ strict control over her life prevented her from attending social events, making her stand out among her classmates.

Meanwhile, Jenna’s phone kept buzzing with calls from her mom. While it might seem strange to others, for Jenna, it was just another part of her familiar routine.

“I have to go home for curfew,” she said. This would have been her typical response.

On that day, Jenna hesitated. Her phone rang constantly, with many missed calls from her mom, but she chose to do something different.

“No, I can go for a drink today,” she declared, switching off her vibrating phone.

It was a spontaneous decision, something completely out of character for Jenna, who had never rebelled against her parents before. Despite feeling uneasy about the situation, she stood firm.

“I’m in too. Let’s go together,” she affirmed to her surprised classmates.

Jenna felt uncomfortable at the thought of going to a bar with her peers at such a late hour. It was a new experience, and she couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt, as if she were committing a sin. Despite her discomfort, Jenna pushed it aside.

‘I’m not a child, and I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m just spending time with my college friends. There’s no reason to feel guilty,’ she reassured herself.

‘I can’t go on like this forever,’ Jenna reminded herself, recalling a conversation with her best friend, Sua.

“You know, if you want to change your parents, you just have to stand up to them, Sua had suggested.

“No, I can’t. If I did, my mom would go crazy,” Jenna had hesitated.

“You’re underestimating her. Would your mother be upset about something like that? She’s taking advantage of your obedient nature and knows you’ll be afraid,” Sua countered.

Jenna decided to challenge Sua’s point of view. She felt trapped in a cycle of compliance. She had been obedient for twenty-three years, while others were exploring new experiences and relationships.

‘If I were a man, I’d be serving in the military by now,’ Jenna thought to herself, mustering the courage to confront her fears.

‘Isn’t it sad that your first relationship came from a confrontation?’ Jenna couldn’t deny the truth in Sua’s words: However, fear held her back from stepping out of the familiar routine she had never dared to leave.

Despite her earlier declaration to join the party, Jenna’s eyes betrayed her anxiety. But it didn’t last long.

“Bam!”

“Cheers!”

“Wow, can you believe Jenna’s out with us tonight?”

As they entered the bar and began pouring drinks in the lively atmosphere, Jenna felt a spark of excitement. Gradually, she found herself loosening up and enjoying the moment, momentarily forgetting about her parents’ expectations.

Surrounded by college students her age, drinking and chatting late into the night, Jenna realized she no longer felt guilty or anxious. Time flew by, and before she knew it, it was midnight.

The conversations at the bar were engaging. They were more interesting than lectures or lunch breaks. Everyone was slightly intoxicated, which led to shedding inhibitions and speaking honestly, albeit slurred. It was a refreshing change from the usual facade.

“Honestly, that senior, Baek Sung-chan, is quite good-looking, isn’t he?” one of them remarked.

“Yeah, he’s got that celebrity vibe,” another agreed.

“He’s from a wealthy family,” someone said enviously. “It must be nice not to have any worries.”

“I envy him the most,” another chimed in. “That senior probably never has to stress about finding a job.”

They openly discussed their envy and admiration for Baek Sung-chan.

“I’m just saying I doubt his p*n*s is small,” one of them said.

“Is it that small?” another joked. “Wow, really tiny. My lipstick is bigger.”

They freely gossiped about past relationships and indulged in crude conversations without holding back.

“Do you know why some women have a more athletic build?”