Living with an Ex-Husband - Chapter 17: A Presence Like Air
Chapter 17. A Presence Like Air
“Oh…!”
“Vice President!”
Compared to Eunchae’s physique, Lee Joon’s body was huge and heavy. However, she gritted her teeth and held him up.
“Could you please help me move him to the bed?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
The bodyguard and Chief Secretary Kwon, bowing their heads in response, helped support Lee Joon as they moved him to the bed.
“Whew…”
The two men let out weary sighs as they finally managed to move him. Given how strong and sturdy Lee Joon was, combined with the effects of the alcohol, his body had become limp and heavy.
“Thank you for your help. I appreciate it.”
Eunchae bowed her head in thanks to the two men who had even taken off Lee Joon’s suit jacket.
“It’s nothing. Please get some rest, ma’am.”
“See you tomorrow.”
After the two men finished their goodbyes and left the bedroom, Eunchae sat down by Lee Joon’s bedside. Hesitating and unsure, she carefully stroked his cheek.
The feel of his skin and the warmth under her fingertips brought tears to her eyes. But perhaps he even wanted to reject that touch. Lee Joon let out a soft groan and turned his head away.
Eunchae looked helplessly at her hand, now frozen in mid-air. As her suspicion of another woman became more certain, even the smallest, most meaningless actions hurt her deeply.
Turning away from the truth she didn’t want to accept, Eunchae calmly began to undress Lee Joon. Even taking off his shirt took a lot of effort. When it came to unbuckling and removing his pants, she had to muster every bit of strength she had.
By the time she had finally removed his socks, beads of sweat had formed on Eunchae’s forehead.
“Phew…”
She wiped the sweat off with the back of her hand and let out a tired sigh. She wanted nothing more than to collapse onto the bed.
But there was still more to do. Groaning softly, Eunchae went to the bathroom and returned with a towel soaked in warm water.
Eunchae took a deep breath and began to wipe down Lee Joon’s body, which was now only clad in his underwear. Only after finishing this task did she sit down beside him, allowing her tired body to lean against the headboard of the bed.
As she listened to Lee Joon’s steady breathing, Eunchae stared blankly into space. She didn’t know how long she had been sitting there. When her ragged breathing calmed down, she pulled her legs together and curled up.
The bedroom, shrouded in darkness, was eerily silent. There was no movement at all. The suffocating quiet began to press down on her, and Eunchae exhaled deeply.
Her eyes, now adjusted to the darkness, stared ahead before turning to Lee Joon’s face. As she watched her sleeping husband in silence, she let out a heavy sigh and slowly began to speak.
“You know, Lee Joon, even though the signs are clear, I still… I still want to believe it’s not true.”
Eunchae spoke to Lee Joon as if she were talking to herself, pressing her heated eyelids firmly with the palms of her hands. Her lips kept trembling, and she repeatedly bit them to keep from crying.
“No matter how cold and distant you are, you’re not that kind of person… So, please…”
Just as she was about to make a heartfelt plea, Eunchae clenched her teeth.
She felt utterly pathetic and miserable. But she couldn’t stop herself. Even if someone were to kick her and tell her to snap out of it, she couldn’t stop.
“If it’s just a moment of doubt… please end it and come back to me. I… I love you so much.”
For the first time, Eunchae spoke the words “I love you” out loud—a painful and heart-wrenching confession that she had silently repeated to herself hundreds, even thousands of times.
‘Let’s not interfere with each other’s personal lives. I only have one request for you: endure and be patient in this household. So don’t expect much from me.’
Lee Joon had laid down these rules just before their marriage.
Even then, she had vaguely understood. Hoping for love from a man like Tae Lee Joon was out of the question, and she knew she must never reveal her feelings.
So, she had hidden her love for Lee Joon, burying it deep within herself. But today, for the first time, she confessed to him, even if it was like speaking to herself as he slept.
“To you, we may be marriage partners, but I’m not like that. I’ve kept the boundaries you set, but secretly, I’ve been growing my feelings for you alone.”
Wiping away her tears, Eunchae poured out the feelings she had bottled up, her voice choked with tears.
“Do you remember? The day we first met, that spring afternoon.”
‘Who are you? What are you doing here?’
It was a spring day when she was 16 years old, visiting her future in-laws’ house with her grandfather. While exploring the house alone, Eunchae ventured up to the second floor, where Lee Joon’s room was located.
As she curiously looked around the large, empty space, she encountered 20-year-old Lee Joon, who had just returned from playing basketball.
Holding a basketball in one hand and frowning with displeasure, he gave her a look that made Eunchae’s heart skip a beat. To the young girl, Lee Joon appeared more impressive and handsome than any idol or model.
‘Who are you?’
The cold question asked with a sharp stare, made Eunchae feel scared. His demeanor was as intimidating as his stern expression.
‘I’m Eunchae, Yoon Eunchae.’
‘And?’
‘What?’
‘I’m not asking for your name. I’m asking why you’re here, why you came up to this floor.’
‘Oh… I came with my grandfather… Chairman Tae told me to take a look around the house…’
‘Who’s your grandfather?’
‘Yoon Song-yeong… the Chairman.’
Feeling that she needed to be precise about her grandfather’s position to calm Lee Joon’s anger, Eunchae spoke clearly, despite her trembling voice.
‘Ah, Chairman Yoon of Seongwon EDP.’
Lee Joon nodded as if he recognized her grandfather, then gave a commanding order.
‘In any case, go back downstairs. Don’t let me see you around here again. Got it?’
‘Yes. Yes, I understand.’
Eunchae was completely overwhelmed by Lee Joon’s charisma. She could barely respond and hurriedly left the area, almost running away.
Even though he was only 20 years old, just transitioning from a boy to a young man, he was so sharp and cold. Compared to him, even the notoriously strict math teacher at her school seemed like an angel.
“Lee Joon, you don’t know this, do you? I fell in love with you at first sight during that brief encounter. So when my parents mentioned that I might marry you, I was so excited that I couldn’t sleep.”
Recalling the bittersweet memory, Eunchae continued with a tearful smile.
“Lee Joon, I wanted to be like air to you. Something barely noticeable, blending in, but if I wasn’t there, you wouldn’t be able to live without me.”
Tears kept falling, so Eunchae paused to catch her breath. Her vision blurred by the tears, she closed and opened her eyes again, then spoke with trembling lips.
“But… it wasn’t like that. You became my air. Someone I can’t live without, someone I need by my side. I don’t think I can live without you. So please…”
Eunchae’s little cries turned into full-blown screams. Even though she tried to stop her crying by covering her mouth with her hand, she couldn’t stop. Finally, she clutched her chest and collapsed, crying bitterly.
She had once thought the same way—that if a man’s heart had drifted away, why should a woman cling to him so pathetically? She had thought it was foolish and stubborn.
It was only after she loved someone deeply that she understood. Even when love becomes painfully difficult, to the point of feeling like it’s killing you, you can’t bear to leave that person’s side. And that is the greatest fear.
“Sob…”
Amid her cries of sorrow and despair, her labored, gasping breaths mingled in a chaotic symphony of pain. Exhausted from crying, Eunchae eventually collapsed and, for the first time since their marriage, fell asleep holding Lee Joon from behind.
***
The next morning, when Eunchae opened her eyes, Lee Joon was no longer beside her. Even though it was still quite early, he had already left for work.
Eunchae wondered if he had even been there with her throughout the night. She felt as if she might have only dreamed it.
Blinking in a daze, she stared at the empty spot next to her. She reached out and touched the cold sheets, then buried her face in Lee Joon’s pillow. Only then, by catching the faint scent of wood and his familiar aftershave, did she realize that he had indeed been by her side.
She had spent the entire day yesterday waiting for him. There were so many things she wanted to discuss, so many questions she wanted to ask when he returned. But once again, he had left her behind.
Despite the chaos that had unfolded at the villa, Lee Joon went about his usual Monday morning as if nothing had happened. He woke up at his usual time and left for work, leaving his tear-soaked, exhausted wife behind.
So I really am that unimportant and meaningless to Lee Joon.
Facing this harsh reality brought tears to Eunchae’s eyes.
Should I call him? Or maybe I should chase after him and go to his office right now.
A whirlwind of thoughts swirled through her mind. But in the end, she couldn’t bring herself to act on any of them. All she could do was wait until Lee Joon returned.
Once she reached that conclusion, Eunchae deliberately tried to think about other things.
I need to get up. I should visit my Grandfather, and I need to prepare breakfast.
Even as she mechanically thought about the tasks she needed to do, Eunchae couldn’t bring herself to get up.
She sat there, staring blankly at the light filtering through the window, when she received a call from Chief Housekeeper Han. He told her that he would take care of breakfast and that if she wasn’t feeling well, she should rest.
“Did Mother say anything?”
[Yes, the lady said you seemed tired and told me to prepare breakfast.]
“Mother?”
Eunchae blinked in disbelief at what the housekeeper had said. Ironically, the unexpected kindness from Mrs. Kang snapped her out of her daze.
[Yes, ma’am. So please rest. I’ll prepare some crab porridge and bring it to you later.]
“Ah, thank you, Chief Han.”
After thanking the housekeeper, Eunchae lay on her side, blinking absently. Was it just her imagination? Mrs. Kang’s actions felt unsettling.
“Sigh…”
Eunchae shifted to lie on her back and covered her face with one hand. Dealing with Lee Joon’s issues alone was already overwhelming and depressing, yet here she was, trying to figure out her mother-in-law’s intentions as well.
As she removed her hand from her face, her eyes reflected a deep sense of resignation. It was as if something had switched off inside her, leaving her in a state of apathetic surrender, ready to let whatever happens, happen.
Everything felt so exhausting and bothersome that Eunchae closed her eyes, forcing herself to sleep. She desperately hoped that when she woke up, all of this would turn out to be just a nightmare, something she could sigh in relief about.