In Order to Meet You, Beloved - Chapter 70

EPISODE 70

“What about His Excellency Duke Persique?”

“I left it to my sister and His Majesty the King. I told them that it would be troublesome if he kept trying to be around me considering the subject of tonight’s banquet. But listen to this. I’ve secured an incredible opportunity!”

“What kind of opportunity?”

“We made a wish-granting bet. Since I won, he has to grant me whatever I want.”

An unusually wicked smile emerged from Cordelia’s lips. Noah flinched and glanced at her nervously.

“What are you plotting…?”

Cordelia, who had stopped in her tracks, gestured for Noah to come closer. As Noah leaned in, Cordelia whispered in his ear. Noah’s eyes widened in surprise as he responded.

“W-wait, are you serious?”

“Of course I am.”

Unlike Cordelia, who declared this triumphantly, Noah’s eyes were filled with concern.

“Isn’t it dangerous?”

“Why, it was getting troublesome with the lack of progress. Don’t worry, I’ve thought through all the safety measures.”

Cordelia confidently patted her chest. Noah, who had been staring at her quietly, let go of the hand he had been holding. As the warmth disappeared, his whole body felt oddly cold. Trying to adapt to the strange sensation, Noah spoke calmly.

“Yes, I trust you.”

The timely breeze ruffled his jet-black bangs, and his revealed blue eyes were fully fixed on Cordelia. The passing clouds had covered the warm sunlight, casting a shadow around them.

Though his smiling face was as gentle as usual, Cordelia firmly grasped Noah’s hand, which had been uncomfortably distant.

The well-shaped hand wrapped in silk gloves was rough and calloused compared to its appearance. Though it wasn’t as delicate as her own hands, Cordelia liked those hands that showed signs of effort. She appreciated Noah, who was usually reserved but spoke passionately about art.

It was certainly the result of fierce effort, which must bring pride.

“I know you’re strong. But sometimes, when you look so lonely, it makes me anxious. It feels like you might just disappear somewhere.”

“Cordelia?”

Seeing Noah call her with a bewildered look, Cordelia hesitated uncharacteristically. Then she deliberately put on a cheerful voice.

“Do you know we’re still bound by fate?”

“Yes.”

“So, if something happens, make sure to tell me. Don’t try to bear it all alone. And if you’re coming to the palace like today, let me know in advance!”

She thought Noah wouldn’t answer properly, but unexpectedly, Noah opened his mouth without hesitation.

“I will.”

Though it was a clear affirmation, Cordelia furrowed her brow. Her remaining hand delved into Noah’s hair and touched his forehead.

“Why are you doing this?”

“I was worried if you were ill. Why are you being so honest lately? It’s frightening.”

Despite her playful tone, her persistent gaze seemed genuinely concerned. Noah responded with a light smile.

“I’m okay.”

He can endure it.

Hiding his true feelings, Noah quietly held Cordelia’s hand and pressed his lips to the palm. The sudden gesture made Cordelia blink in surprise.

It seemed oddly like a wild beast showing affection, even though Noah wasn’t drunk.

The warmth transmitted from his lips to the skin made Cordelia’s chest tingle. Her heartbeat echoed pleasantly in her ears. When she met Noah’s gaze, who had lowered his eyes, Cordelia thought, Ah, this is dangerous.

Without realizing it, Cordelia bowed her head deeply. She was too flustered by the rising heat in her face to react, and Noah carefully released her hand. Cordelia, who tried to look nonchalant and shameless, still had flushed cheeks. Fortunately, the shadow cast by the clouds helped conceal the heat rising on her skin.

“Do you not need to return to the banquet hall?”

“Oh, I need to stop by for a moment.”

She still had to finish her conversation with Duke PPersique and report to Jerania.

“Well, actually, I have a request from the Queen.”

“From my sister? What is it?”

Noah revealed the contents of the letter that was included with the invitation. Cordelia tilted her head in confusion.

“I don’t recall such a person. I checked everyone around that individual.”

Cordelia could quickly grasp the basic characteristics of anyone she had met once. Insight, memory, and the ability to judge and respond to situations were essential for social interactions.

“In that case, I’ll wait outside. Go ahead and come back.”

Upon hearing Noah’s calm voice, Cordelia couldn’t help but doubt her ears. It wasn’t surprising that he didn’t want to return to the banquet hall, but to say he would wait was unexpected. Why is he so compliant today?

“Alright, I got it.”

If he tries to escape now, she’ll be sure to get angry this time. Muttering to herself about the promises he hadn’t kept, Cordelia turned and walked away.

***

With late autumn arriving, the rain tapped fiercely against the window. Using the lantern on his desk as a guide, Noah reviewed the dozens of scattered papers in front of him. They were filled with sketches in blurry gray lines.

Although he always put in his best effort when receiving commissions, it was rare to struggle as much as he did this time. Unlike usual, where he only had to produce one result, making various works in a continuous format was a first for him.

“I still haven’t heard from my master.”

Indeed, it wasn’t an easy request. Since he seemed to be traveling around the western border near Heritha, he hoped for at least some meaningful news.

He knew it was unrealistic to expect much. His master was a craftsman, not a wizard. Even so, he couldn’t endure not doing anything. The sense of duty that wrapped around him like shackles was still hard to shake off.

He had continuously vowed to remain quiet and not disturb the peace he had barely found. Dwelling too much on what had already come would only leave despair.

He had to be okay, no matter what. He still vividly remembered his mother’s dazed appearance when he was confined in this mansion eight years ago. In such a situation, he couldn’t afford to be unable to collect himself. At sixteen, Ian was quite desperate in his own way.

Unlike his time as a prince, with increasing moments of solitude, he had spent a long time reflecting on himself. After all, time was all he had, so there was no need to rush.

During that process, he had let go of many things. Things he had to discard, things he had to hold onto despite it all, and things that didn’t fit into either category. He had sorted and divided many things in his heart.

There weren’t many things to hope for. If he had been greedy, the confinement would have been even more painful than it was now.

The memory of his first love was one of the few things he couldn’t let go of during all that time. He hadn’t expected that holding onto even one brilliant memory would lead to such results.

The bigger issue was that the current situation wasn’t as troublesome as he had imagined. Although the human heart doesn’t always follow its own will, how could it be so willful?

A selfish desire to just be swept away peeked out. Even though he knew he shouldn’t be greedy.

Noah suddenly pulled out a sheet of paper and took a quill pen to sketch lines across it. He worked diligently to form shapes and create descriptions. The delicately drawn lines gathered to complete an image of a girl with a straw hat, smiling brightly at the edge of a forest.

Noah, staring blankly at the uncolored drawing, let out a soft, hollow laugh. He turned the side with the girl’s image face down.

“What am I doing?”

‘Well, how do I look in your eyes? What do you see?’

She once asked him such a question. Though he couldn’t bring himself to answer honestly.

An eternal admiration. And an ideal.

For a long time, his standard of beauty has always been her. The girl smiled brighter than the sunlight even in the shadows.

If it had only been her beautiful appearance, he wouldn’t have remembered it for so long. It was her vibrant eyes, lively voice, confident smile, and face that spoke of a life lived freely. He couldn’t help but admire every aspect of it.

Noah’s gaze fell on the plaster cast standing in the corner shrouded in darkness. Though he had brought in the life-sized plaster over a year ago, he had yet to properly sculpt even its face. He could now acknowledge the reasons for his continued avoidance.

Wasn’t art supposed to express the desires of the artist?

He was naturally afraid that his work reflecting some ideal would prominently feature her likeness. While he could love someone alone, showing it to others was another matter entirely.

The emotions he harbored were such that they could harm her even by merely keeping them. Yet, they were traces he had left out of his own desire, so he had to wrap them up tightly. Ensuring that they never showed, to prevent her from being hurt because of him.

Noah placed his hand over his rapidly beating heart and took a deep breath.

When thinking about Cordelia, it was no longer simply a source of joy. It was also bittersweet and painful, and the emotions, once as clean and beautiful as gemstones, now seemed dusty and tainted with impurities.

Yet, why was it harder to endure than before? Hadn’t he been doing well enough up until now?

At this point, he had to concede to Cordelia’s obsession completely. He glanced at the symbol etched on the back of his right hand.

It became clear through this ordeal. Though he thought he had been enduring somehow, he realized he had long been deeply entangled. Thus, he had to stop making excuses so that he could just keep avoiding it.

Perhaps, as Cordelia suggested, there might be another path. Maybe he was just overly afraid.

Deep within his heart, the emotion of hope, long hidden away, was trying to emerge.

If he acknowledged these feelings, would something begin to untangle?

In the hazy vision like a mist over water, Cordelia’s face appeared.

In the illusion, Noah quietly observed Cordelia’s colorless profile. Gradually, the woman was colored and dyed. When her beautiful eyes folded like a crescent moon, and her once-transparent eyes took on a blue hue.

Noah opened his eyes.

As soon as he lifted his eyelids, he blinked in surprise at the sight. The sunlight streaming through the window brightly illuminated the room.

Staring blankly at the white ceiling, Noah slowly moved his hand. His delicate, beautiful white hand reached towards the ceiling. Seeing the strands of golden hair outlining his vision, he let out a soft, hollow laugh.

“Why…?”

Why had it come to this again?