chapter E. friendship in intoxication

Throughout the evening prayer, his heart pounded and wouldn’t calm down. Peidos slowly exhaled, trying to clear his thoughts. However, the guilt that had weighed on his heart during the prayer of repentance once again overwhelmed him, returning everything to square one.

Peidos groaned and rubbed his eyes fiercely. The memories that fueled his anguish continued to play in his mind.

[……Duna?]

When he heard that Duna Valorem had been selected as a candidate for the Great Saint, the spark of hope he had buried in the swamp of resignation was rekindled. However, the person who had actually recommended her for the position spoke calmly about other possibilities.

[It might be too late.]

[What do you mean?]

[She went to get married.]

When the word ‘marriage’ came out of Sister Elexi’s mouth, his brain froze. Blinking slowly, he tightened his grip on the communication stone and asked.

[Marriage… to whom…?]

[She took her annual leave in time for the season. It seems she doesn’t have much ambition for life in the temple.]

His mind went blank. It wasn’t even new information.

[I was going to rest with my family, but I realized the social season is coming soon, so I need to get a dress tailored.]

[……Right. It’s that time for you too.]

It was something she had already told him right after his pilgrimage.

[……Yes. I should get married soon.]

He also remembered the slight disappointment in her voice. It was a night when he deeply resented himself for only being able to say that.

Back then, he thought it was the right thing to do. As he had told Chelin in the past, slowly letting go was the best he could do.

But when he actually thought about her going to someone else, his vision went dark. The spark of hope ignited by the news of her candidacy was also overwhelming.

Maybe letting go wasn’t the answer. If there was even a slight possibility, even if it wasn’t certain, he wanted to cling to it.

[The Master of the Magic Tower attended the royal ball and mentioned a truce. He approached a priest he met during the pilgrimage, who coincidentally is now a candidate for the Great Saint. Although the priest’s record is clean, just in case, contact the Master of the Magic Tower and see if he has any ulterior motives.]

The unexpected opportunity only fueled his impulse further.

Upon receiving the Pope’s orders, he headed straight to the capital. However, the person who filled his mind throughout the journey was not the Master of the Magic Tower causing a commotion, but the woman he had wanted to see throughout the entire pilgrimage.

Perhaps that’s why. The moment he saw her, he poured out his heart without thinking.

[I like you, Duna. I like you.]

[……]

[I want the person I protect with all my body and soul to be you.]

He never regretted dedicating himself to God and the Holy Kingdom. His innate talent was something God had bestowed for a greater purpose.

But sometimes, he wished to be an ordinary man, not a protector of the people. He wanted to be a husband and father who focused on his wife and children.

When his hidden desires and impulses met, they became uncontrollable. And his heartfelt confession led to her acceptance.

He wanted to rejoice, but as the wave of emotions passed, he felt uneasy again. Was this really okay? Could he truly keep his promise?

He genuinely wanted to make her happy. But the responsibilities on his shoulders were extremely heavy, and she was too precious to throw into uncertainty.

As he sighed deeply, his keen senses detected someone intruding on the balcony. Drawing his sword swiftly, Peidos extended it toward the balcony door, which he had left partially open to let in the cool breeze.

The intruder was someone he knew well. That made him even more cautious. Keeping his sword raised, Peidos asked coldly.

“What is it? And why so secretly?”

Had the truce agreement been a ruse after all? Peidos narrowed his eyes at the dark-haired man standing on the balcony.

But the man smirked as if he had no interest in a confrontation. He seemed somewhat drunk, staggering as he kicked open the door and entered the room.

“Spare me some time, Pedi.”

“……”

Hearing his old nickname after a long time made Peidos’ eyebrow twitch. Ignoring the sword-wielding Peidos, Keene set down the bottle of alcohol he was holding on the table and grinned.

“I got dumped by a woman, and you’re the only one I can talk to about it.”

“……”

A laugh of disbelief escaped him. But Keene was relentless. No matter how Peidos reacted, he paid no mind and took a swig from the bottle.

“I thought the world was finally getting interesting?”

“……”

“But now, I feel so hopeless.”

Despite his casual words, he was heavily intoxicated. Even when he first drank without knowing better as a newly minted adult, he had never been this drunk.

Did he really get dumped by a woman? Could that be true? Even if it were true, could it justify seeking out an old friend who is now estranged?

With a look that tried to discern the truth, he stared intently at the other. Regardless, Keene, in his drunken state, continued to speak slowly.

“Did we get on the wrong foot? I can’t seem to make up for it.”

“……”

“This is the first time it’s been this difficult.”

With half-closed eyes, he looked at his friend, who was still holding a sword. Then, with a voice tinged with laughter, he said,

“Were you like this when you got dumped by my sister?”

“……”

Peidos sighed and sheathed his sword. Then, he took a bottle of liquor from the display and sat across from Keene.

The fact that he was bringing up old stories showed that he was clearly not in his right mind. Even if he was the archenemy of the Holy Kingdom, it was pointless to use force against a drunken man with no will to fight. Besides, a truce agreement had been signed as of today.

So, having one drink together wouldn’t hurt.

“Why are you bringing up old stories?”

“You’ve always had an eye for things, then and now. It’s annoying.”

“Is that why you approached Duna?”

Peidos asked calmly as he poured brandy. However, unlike his calm voice, his eyes were sharp.

“Were you curious about what kind of person the woman I like is?”

“……”

“Just in case, if you so much as touch a hair on her head…”

A hiss interrupted Peidos’ words. Keene, with a sneer on his lips, looked him straight in the eyes and said,

“You’re still as clueless as ever.”

“……”

“You haven’t changed at all. It’s fascinating.”

Peidos looked down at the surface of the gently rippling liquor. His face reflected in the golden brandy was filled with deep emotion.

“Why did you change?”

He thought Keene would be someone who would never change. Even now, his mischievous demeanor and cheerful speech were the same as before.

“You didn’t have to change.”

“……”

[Keene, what is this? A book written by an author with such blasphemous ideas, claiming to have killed God…]

[Give it back.]

Even when he indulged in forbidden books banned by the Pope, he thought it was just a temporary phase. The pain of losing his entire family was something that even the strongest of hearts would struggle to endure without wandering.

But that was just the beginning. The man who lost all his emotions eventually decided to turn his back on the temple.

[Keene, please! Beg for forgiveness from His Holiness. Just say you lost your mind for a moment and want to repent. You know He will forgive you.]

In the end, when he was caught with those books and subjected to harsh ideological scrutiny, he faced the risk of being exiled. The Pope was furious at his unrepentant attitude, his skepticism towards God, and his nearly angry doubts, but the devout young man was gone.

[I understand how you feel, but doing this won’t bring back Ron and Ren.]

[No, I need answers.]

The moment his friend, who always had a smiling face and an arm around his shoulder, was drenched in tears for the first time, he wondered if he could have done better to change his friend’s mind.

[Pedi, can you accept this?]

[……]

[Ron, what sin could that little child have committed? He was always busy smiling and being cute. What sin could he have committed?]

[It’s not because of a sin…]

[What about my sister? What sin did that poor woman, who spent her life doing good and never putting herself before others, commit?]

But even then, and even now, he couldn’t think of a proper answer to that. The tragedy that befell the Lione family was too harsh, and it was an unspeakable horror for a man who loved his family more than anyone else.

[God has a plan…]

[A plan? There is no such thing, Pedi.]

That was the last time.

[If there really is such a plan, then He will give me an answer.]

He didn’t know exactly why Keene joined the Magic Tower and turned against the Holy Kingdom. He only knew it was a means to get some kind of answer.

Peidos looked at his friend who had crossed the point of no return, causing immense harm to the Holy Kingdom.

He wasn’t inherently an evil person. So if he could return to his former self, if he could repent for his misdeeds and atone for even a part of his sins…

“Did you agree to the truce because you regret the past…”

“No.”

A sharp voice drew a firm line.

“The truce, I only prioritized it because there was something more important.”

Even though I was rejected.

He added this with a self-mocking laugh.

“Still, it’s nice to have a truce. You’re even talking to me like this.”

“……”

While Peidos blinked at the unexpected words, Keene, who had placed the empty bottle on the table, slowly stood up.

“But, I still can’t congratulate you.”

“……”

“I’ll probably end up interfering.”

Keene, who patted Peidos’ shoulder like an ordinary friend, staggered towards the balcony. Peidos watched him move further away in a daze before belatedly reaching out his hand.

“……Keene!”

But his voice was a step too late. As a dazzling light burst forth, his former friend had already disappeared without a trace.

Peidos unconsciously exhaled the breath he had been holding and looked up at the night sky. Amidst the stars scattered like white paint, the crescent moon shone brightly.