I May Be A Villainess, But I Won't Live My Life That Way - chapter 9

Chapter 9

“What do you mean?”

“Why did you tell Lara about our marriage story?”

“Was it a story that shouldn’t have been told? Isn’t it a story that everyone in the country knows will happen anyway?”

“You’ve never said that before.”

That was my question.

Until now, Ricardo’s stance on our engagement and even further on marriage was, “We got engaged, so we’ll get married.” It was a matter-of-fact position.

In a way, I felt the same.

We got engaged, so naturally, I would marry him.

“You weren’t interested in marriage.”

But there was clearly a difference in our positions.

For me, it was ‘naturally’ and ‘definitely.’ Marriage with Ricardo was a given for me.

Not for Ricardo. For him, marrying me was somewhere between ‘maybe’ and ‘might.’

Ricardo, as a person, wasn’t indifferent, but what recent events had deeply taught me was that he was indifferent to marrying me.

So, when he casually mentioned to Lara a while ago that he would marry me, it was a surprising reaction for me.

“I wasn’t that interested, that’s true.”

He said it nonchalantly.

“But I’ve never said I wouldn’t do it.”

He said this with the same nonchalance.

“What are you saying?”

“I’ve never once said, Bianca, that I won’t marry you.”

Ricardo’s black eyes stared at me. There was no shame in his words, as if he spoke the absolute truth with no trace of falsehood.
There was some truth to what he said.

He was a man who had never approached me once. But he was also a man who had never retreated.

And I, too, despite feeling some impatience about his attitude, had been thinking that we would naturally get married.

But now, things are different. With the appearance of this strange book, the situation couldn’t be the same as before.

A marriage with a man who might stab me with a sword around my neck could never be the same as before.

“Um… Ricardo?”

I couldn’t explain my situation. Who would believe that there was a book that could see the future?

“Prinncessss!”

Unable to find the right words, I hesitated, and Lara came running from afar.

“Please read this book!”

The book Lara had chosen was, as expected, a fairy tale book with a beautifully drawn princess with blonde hair.

“Lara, since I’m talking to Ricardo right now, why don’t you read it to yourself?”

“I can’t read this book.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t know the letters.”

Lara smiled brightly, and I was confused. She was still young, but it didn’t seem like an age where she wouldn’t know how to read.

“You don’t know… letters?”

Lara continued to smile brightly, nodding her head.

“Why?”

“Because… I don’t know them?”

While it made sense, it was an incomprehensible statement. Understanding Lara’s words was already challenging, but this statement was even more confusing.

Why wouldn’t she know letters?

“Lara, why don’t you ask your sister Nicole to read it to you?”

Ricardo intervened between us, sensing that our conversation wasn’t going anywhere.

“I wish the princess would read the princess’s book…”

“I’ll read it for you. But just a little later. Is that okay?”

“Yeah! Lara’s good!”

Lara nodded and ran back with the book, calling Nicole’s name.

“Normal commoner children learn to read late.”

“Why?”

“Because there’s no one to teach them.”

“No nanny?”

“…None.”

“How about a private tutor?”

“That doesn’t exist either. In ordinary households, there are no nannies or private tutors.”

“Then who raises the child?”

“Well… usually the mother. Or they grow up on their own.”

It was incomprehensible. The child was very small; how could they grow up on their own? It’s not like they would grow like a flower just by watering them.

No, not even flowers grew on their own. Unless it was a weed in the field, you had to water, fertilize, and prune to make beautiful flowers bloom.

“Children in orphanages like this one, especially since they don’t have a mother or father, learn to read late. In some cases, they grow up without knowing how to read at all.”

“They don’t know how to read? Then how do they read books?”

“They don’t read books.”

I blinked at Ricardo’s explanation. But soon, I snapped back to reality.

“I can’t let Lara grow up like that.”

“Here, children can at least learn to read and write a bit. When the older kids have time, they teach the younger ones to read.”

“That might be better, but it’s still too late for them to learn to read. I had memorized the entire Croft family lineage by Lara’s age.”

“Lara doesn’t have a family lineage to memorize.”

“I didn’t mean it that way…”

“Yeah. I know what you mean. But Lara’s case is different from the usual.”

“But Lara is not an ordinary child!”

I was angered by Ricardo’s casual remarks, as if it was only natural.

That young one doesn’t even know how to read! When will they learn to read, read books, and accumulate knowledge to become a fine adult?

“What do you mean Lara isn’t ordinary?”

“Lara is a very honest, kind, and cute child.”

“….”

“Perhaps she could be intelligent. No one knows because she hasn’t learned yet. I mean, no wonder I couldn’t understand what Lara was saying. It’s because she doesn’t know how to read, and she’s still illogical.”

“Hey, Bianca.”

“Why?”

“I thought you didn’t like kids.”

“…I don’t particularly dislike them.”

“But when children are together at banquets or gatherings, you always kept your distance.”

“Well, those kids don’t come near me. Why would I approach them?”

Isn’t that obvious?

Why would I need to make myself look good to kids with short arms and legs? They should be the ones trying to impress me.

“I see. I thought you… didn’t like kids.”

“I don’t particularly like them, but I don’t dislike them either.”

“I see. I see…”

Ricardo muttered something to himself. But what he was muttering about wasn’t important to me right now.

“I need to meet the director right away.”

“For what?”

“I’ll increase the funding so that we can hire a teacher to educate the children.”

I walked briskly into the building.

***

“What should we do?”

The coachman was fidgety, casting anxious glances at me.

“If you ask me, what can I do about it?”

I glanced at the motionless carriage and then at him. If the horses weren’t moving, it was the coachman’s job to do something, not mine.

I stared at him, silently urging him to find a solution. In response, beads of sweat started to form on his forehead. It wasn’t particularly hot, but it seemed that way for him.

“What’s going on?”

Ricardo, who seemed to be on his way back to the Winkaiser’s carriage, arrived at the entrance.

“Oh, well… It’s not moving at all, My Lord.”

The coachman quickly explained, looking towards the carriage where another coachman was sitting.

“It seems he loaded too many books when coming. He looks tired, not moving an inch.”

“That’s troublesome.”

Perhaps the conversation reached inside the carriage, as Ricardo opened the window and leaned out.

“Yes, it is, and all I can do is wait for him to move again, but my lady is busy.”

“Is there something planned afterward?”

Ricardo turned his head to look at me.

The coachman, with an expression suggesting he’s been through a lot, spoke quickly towards the other carriage where another coachman was sitting.

“I guess I’ll have to escort the lady Croft.”

“Oh, thank you!”

The coachman, without asking for my opinion and just expressing gratitude, caught my attention. But I knew that, for now, it was the best option.

“Excuse me.”

The maid, who had some of my belongings in her hands, was already preparing to change carriages.

Apparently, since I hadn’t identified myself as the Duke’s daughter, I had taken the smallest, most modest carriage. It was not the same carriage that Ricardo usually used to escort me in.

Thanks to that, Ricardo was closer to the front, and his face was more visible. And that seemed to be the case for him as well.

“There are a lot of books.”

He, who had been silent for a while, spoke as he observed the bundle of luggage carried by the maid.

“I heard a lot of rumors that you love reading. But….”

Ricardo’s eyes narrowed slightly. Wondering if something was strange, I followed his gaze. He was looking at the books.

The books I bought today.

“The books are quite… intriguing.”

It wasn’t about riding in this carriage.

“Books related to war and trauma.”

This time, Ricardo turned his gaze towards me, not the books.

“….”

I chose silence.

“By any chance…”

“No.”

Quietly staring into the void, I denied his words.

“But to say the least, all the titles of the books…”

“They’re books I’ve been looking at lately because I’ve been having an academic curiosity.”

“About what?”

“…War and such.”

“A noble lady interested in war?”

“The intellectual curiosity of a human knows no forbidden realms.”

“Even about corpses?”

“No one is disinterested in the life and death of humans. I think corpses are evidence at the crossroads.”

Oh my, what am I saying right now?

“It’s just scholarly exploration. It has nothing to do with you.”

“…Did I ask if it had anything to do with me?”

Oops, I thought.

“….”

“….”

A quiet silence filled the carriage. I remained stiff, lips sealed, while Ricardo looked at me as if I were interesting.

“…Did you receive an invitation to Lord Wensbury’s ball three days later?”

Before Ricardo brought up the subject again, I diverted the topic elsewhere.

“Oh, that. I received it.”

Luckily, Ricardo followed smoothly into the changed topic.

“If you come to escort me an hour before, that would be great.”

“Of course, I’ll do that.”

“Good.”

I smiled elegantly at Ricardo, as if telling him not to bring up the topic of books again. Fortunately, Ricardo seemed to understand my intentions and didn’t bring up the topic of books again. However, he kept glancing in that direction, as if it bothered him.

But being well-mannered as an aristocrat, Ricardo didn’t say anything.

“Smile Love”