I May Be A Villainess, But I Won't Live My Life That Way - Chapter 31

Chapter 31

When Bianca asked if he could risk his life, the images that flashed before Ricardo’s eyes were those of the dead he had seen so far.

Some were pierced by arrows, some covered in blood, and others lay lifeless with closed eyes.

For Ricardo, life carried the weight of death.

He wanted to survive and return home, but the burden he carried extended to the resentment and determination of those who couldn’t return home, even to his homeland.

Even after returning, he couldn’t lay it down cleanly, pressing against his head, shoulders, and entire body.

Knowing the weight of it, Ricardo couldn’t readily say, ‘I would sacrifice my life for you.’

“We don’t love each other.”

Bianca declared, looking at Ricardo hesitating.

As if it were the right conclusion.

As if it were the truth Ricardo had to face.

“When you say ‘each other,’ do you mean you too?”

“…Yes.”

Although hesitating a bit like Ricardo, Bianca answered much faster.

“My life is more precious to me. So, I can’t risk it for you.”

Looking at Bianca, who spoke decisively as if she had already pondered this issue extensively, Ricardo felt a bit bitter.

“Then, what was it when you said you’d marry me?”

Ignoring the bitter taste, Ricardo asked again.

“It wasn’t so long ago that you were the one pushing for our marriage.”

“Yeah.”

“Then what was that? Were you just coveting the position of a duchess?”

It would have been better not to ask.

Bianca’s question shook him, but his question seemed to make Bianca colder and firmer.

Even now, it seemed the same.

Looking at Bianca alternately with both eyes, unlike Ricardo who desperately wanted her to say she wasn’t, Bianca showed no sign of wavering.

She looked straight into Ricardo’s black eyes.

“Yes.”

Her red and pretty lips answered without hesitation.

“I simply coveted that position.”

Bianca’s cold and composed words struck Ricardo’s cheek that had stiffened.

He couldn’t say anything. He could only bite his lips and glare at Bianca.

He couldn’t understand why he was getting angry.

Originally, that was what he thought.

She was just a woman engaged through a family arrangement.

A woman who had been called the flower of high society, enjoying the flattery from others, a woman who liked to reign over it.

So, he suspected she desired him for that reason.

Not long ago, Ricardo himself thought the same way.

“You…”

But that was in the past.

Before Ricardo knew Bianca’s new sides.

Before she improved.

Before Ricardo wished she wanted him not for the position but for himself.

Before he got to know her new self.

“…I’ll excuse myself first. Someone’s waiting for me.”

Bianca passed by Ricardo, creating a chilly breeze.

***

“You’re late!”

As soon as he saw my face in the hall, Asel shouted.

“I’m not late, am I?”

I pretended not to care, not even glancing at the watch.

“Do you have any idea how I feel right now? My heart is about to explode, waiting for the secretary to appear.”

“Oh, is it him?”

“What?”

When I glanced past his shoulder and spoke, he quickly turned his head to look in that direction.

Of course, there was no one there.

Turning his head back slowly, Asel blinked several times and looked at me.

“Are you joking with me right now?”

“Was I not supposed to?”

“No, it’s fine.”

Asel genuinely laughed as if he truly enjoyed it.

“Even though you said it’s okay to treat you comfortably, you never seemed like you would. But now, what’s gotten into you?”

“Just because.”

I wanted my actions to be lighter, to alleviate the heaviness in my heart.

If I were to say that, what would Asel say?

If I said I just made a joke to avoid thinking about what happened earlier, what would Asel say?

He probably wouldn’t say anything. Instead, he might think I chose the right person to joke with.

Like saying he was a person as light as a feather.

“Now, shall we dance, my lady?”

Smiling, Asel extended his hand toward me. Placing my hand on top of his, he led me toward the center of the hall.

As we approached, there was no one to block our way or cause any disturbance.

On the contrary, everyone subtly stepped aside, allowing us to comfortably reach the center.

“How about it? Do you like the song?”

As Asel lifted my hand slightly, he asked.

“Yes, I like it.”

“All right then.”

“Is it a song you like as well?”

“No.”

Asel shook his head slightly in denial.

“But from today, I might come to like it.”

Slipping and sliding through the steps, Asel slightly lowered his head and whispered into my ear.

Curious about what he meant, I raised my head and looked at Asel. He was smiling mischievously.

“Because when you hear this song, Bianca, it will remind you of dancing with me.”

Asel casually mentioned something embarrassing, something that shouldn’t be spoken so lightly.

“Well, you seem…”

“Seem?”

How could I return the saying that he talks like a playboy? I wish I had the chance to say such things.

“It seems the lady dances quite gracefully.”

“Oh! So, were you excited a little while ago?”

Asel tightened his grip on my waist, pulling me towards him. My body was involuntarily drawn closer to his.

“Not exactly.”

Smiling towards Asel, I moved slightly away from him during the next step. The distance between us was now back to how it was before he pulled me closer.

As I had learned, the appropriate distance between a man and a woman when dancing. The same distance as before Asel pulled me towards him.

“Oh, too bad. It would have been nice if you were excited.”

“Why would you want to make me excited?”

“Well, I don’t know. I could have done a lot of things.”

A lot of things? Not just one or two, but a lot…

Is he going to ask me to call him ‘dad’ instead of ‘brother’ next time?

“Like… being crowned princess, for example.”

“What?”

The word came out of Asel’s mouth so unexpectedly that I almost stopped in my tracks.

I’d spent a lot of time ballroom dancing since I was a kid, and if my feet hadn’t moved of their own accord to Asel’s lead, I might have actually stopped in the middle of the hall.

“You sound surprised, don’t you?”

“Of course I am, since you said that out of the blue.”

I frowned slightly, and Asel looked at me and smiled again.

It was a disarming smile.

Like someone without the slightest worry, without the slightest concern.

It was. Maybe Asel did not have any worries or concerns.

The pinnacle of imperial power was, of course, the Emperor, and he would be there one day.

Maybe if I became a crown princess, and then an empress?

Could I live without worrying about being poisoned by someone, without worrying that someone would take my man away from me?

“Are you seriously thinking about this?”

Asher’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts and I looked up.

A familiar, yet unfamiliar face was there.

Normally, at any given moment, it would be Ricardo there, not Asel.

It should have been Ricardo, not Asel, holding my hand.

I was thinking of him now, having just told him so bluntly that we weren’t in love.

“No.”

I shook my head slightly, denying Asel’s words, and tried to focus on the dance. Not Ricardo’s face, which kept replaying in my head.

“Bianca.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“I meant what I said earlier, so you can give it some serious thought.”

The voice whispered in my ear, sweet and gentle.

“If the duchess’s seat isn’t filled in the castle, the crown princess’s seat will always be open for you.”

This time, my feet actually stopped for a moment. I couldn’t help it.

As if noticing my agitation, Asel smirked.

“The song is coming to an end, Bianca.”

His small, sweet voice purred in my ear again.

“But I will always wait.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m saying that I’ve already waited ten years, and there’s nothing I can’t wait for.”

Asel had forced my feet to stop.

As if stopping the dance was nothing, Asel stood tall in front of me.

Around us, people were still dancing.

Colorful dresses fluttered past us, and lovers holding hands circled around Asel and me.

“…….”

I glared at him, wondering what that meant.

Doubtful, he just smirked, but didn’t bother to explain.

I didn’t say anything about it being a dumb joke from a friend I’d known since I was a kid, or that it was no big deal.

He just stared at me, smiling.

“Bianca.”

Asel pulled his hand toward his body, and my hand, which had been resting on top of his for the dance, was pulled along with it.

“I had fun tonight.”

I watched as my hand slowly moved to the corner of his mouth.

The kiss on the back of my hand meant nothing; it was a greeting, a courtesy to a noblewoman.

But there was something different about the way Asel lowered his eyes, bent his head, and kissed the back of my hand, as if he were in the presence of something noble.

The moment his lips touched the back of my hand, I closed my eyes.

I felt like I’d seen something I shouldn’t have seen, done something I shouldn’t have done.

“Bianca.”

A soft voice called to me. It sounded soothing, like it was telling me it was okay to open my eyes.

I opened my eyes slightly, and Asher was looking at me.

“I’ll wait.”

Asel laughed like a spring breeze.

“Smile Love”