I Don't Want To Work! - Chapter 67

CHAPTER 67

Chrgg.

There were no bird sounds in the splendid garden, only the sound of tea being poured.

Is it okay to be this peaceful?

The emperor himself was pouring the tea, with no one to listen to see if he’d told them beforehand.

“Drink.”

“Thank you.”

I accepted the teacup. It was a flower tea similar to what I had before.

Blended with roses and various flowers, the transparent teapot had flower buds blooming inside.

And on the table, there were plenty of desserts similar to what I had last time.

“I asked the chef to make something for the princess to enjoy. I wonder if it suits your taste.”

The emperor poured tea into his cup as he spoke.

“If there’s anything you want to eat, I’ll tell them to the chef.”

“No, thank you.”

I smiled.

“This is more than enough.”

The emperor’s complexion brightened at my words. He nodded.

“I’m glad the princess likes it.”

Then silence.

“By the way, how’s your health? I heard you fainted.”

“I’m all better now. I caught a cold because I was careless during the summer.”

Then silence again.

“It’s fortunate that the day is bright. It’s a perfect day to drink tea in the garden.”

“Yes, it feels like early summer. It’s not too hot yet.”

And silence once more.

Silence, silence, silence.

‘Ugh.’

I lightly bit my lip and tightened my throat.

‘I can’t figure out what to say, really.’

He asked for forgiveness, and I resolved to forgive.

But why can’t I find the words?

‘Human relationships are so complicated.’

I shed tears inwardly.

Even after living hundreds of lives, there were many things I hadn’t figured out.

One of them was human relationships.

‘Especially since I’m so awkward with family relationships.’

From my first life, my luck with family was always terrible.

When I met good families, I died quickly.

‘…No.’

I used to think until just a few days ago that I was just unlucky.

But now I couldn’t dismiss it lightly.

On the day Lionel and I first met, didn’t my young disciple tell me?

“When I finally found you, Master, you were dead.”

“Who could have skillfully manipulated death like that?”

“……”

Even death was controlled by the gods.

So there was no reason I couldn’t manipulate my human relationships.

‘…Did I die quickly when I met good families and live longer when I met bad ones?’

Hmm, my vision narrowed.

But what do the gods gain from that?

‘I need to make the perfect nectar as soon as possible for them to live.’

For some reason, the gods’ eternal life was coming to an end.

So did the gods send me to make the nectar of eternal life?

But then they manipulate death to kill me.

Is it based on the relationships I have with my family?

Why?

What do the gods gain from that?

“Princess?”

Oh no!

When did it come?

As I raised my head, the emperor was looking at me seriously beside me.

“It seems your health is not good after all.”

He covered me with the coat he was wearing.

There was a strange smell.

Still, I thought that it wasn’t so bad.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but let’s call it a day for now. We’ll talk later.”

With that, the emperor got up.

He must be going to the court.

I reached out my hand which had been tightening my throat and grabbed the emperor’s cuff.

Words that were stuck in my throat popped out randomly.

“I was awake last night.”

My words widened the emperor’s eyes.

“You wanted to come during the day, didn’t you?”

Even with just one small house and one child to take care of, isn’t it busy all day long?

But how busy should one be to rule this vast empire and numerous people?

People believe that emperors and kings will live long lives without illness.

Because they sit in high places, enjoy good things, and live comfortably.

But the reality was different.

Most emperors and kings were short-lived.

Because there was so much, so much to handle.

“So you came last night.”

Even though I must be asleep, he came anyway, just to see.

“…I didn’t know you were awake. I’m sorry for waking you up.”

The emperor reached out his hand and stroked my head.

“Next time, I’ll make sure to come during the day.”

He whispered.

“Lottie.”

That was the end of the emperor’s courage.

The emperor, who called my name, was about to leave the garden.

At that moment, I got up.

“I wanted to talk about what you brought up last time.”

When the emperor offered me a clumsy apology.

“Okay, I’ll think about it.”

I replied like that.

And today, I just finished thinking.

The emperor, who had stopped in response to my words, turned around.

His deep golden eyes shook, and then he returned to his seat.

It was the seat opposite where he was originally sitting.

“Yeah.”

The emperor had a face like a condemned prisoner.

“Speak.”

It was a face that said he would take the consequences no matter what answer came out.

I looked at that face in silence for a moment.

Father.

There was someone with the same name but a different face.

“This scum!”

It was my first life’s father.

I heard my father was a good person.

He was good at handling herbs and knew how to help others, or so I heard.

But what I experienced was different.

“She stole all my abilities. She stole them all!”

“Now she’s trying to devour me, just like she devoured my mother!”

“A leech that only stinks up the food.”

I didn’t know why he was hitting me.

I didn’t think about wanting to be loved, or not wanting to be hit.

Because I thought everyone lived like this.

Adults raised their hands, and children were supposed to be hit.

But it wasn’t.

The day I left the secluded house that was attached to the herb field and went to the village for the first time.

I realized how miserable my life had been.

That day was the first day I rebelled.

“Kuukk, Kufghk…”

That was the day my throat had been hurting until now.

That night, I left home and settled in a different village.

And after ten or so years.

“Sorry. Lottie, I’m sorry.”

My father came to find me.

With an incurable illness, my father, who was dying, apologized to me.

“I’ve become like this, haven’t I? Please, please save me… Please.”

It was just a struggle to stay alive.

At that time, I received an apology that didn’t even contain sincerity.

What thoughts I had, what expression I had.

And since then, what thoughts I had, what people I met, and how I lived.

Among people who only spit out apologies when they needed them, I built some kind of relationship.

And now.

“I…”

Could I become okay?

I closed and opened my eyes slowly while tightening my throat.

“I’ve decided to forgive my father.”

At the word “father,” the emperor’s face noticeably brightened.

“But I haven’t forgiven everything.”

Honestly, I wondered if I even had the right to forgive because I didn’t have memories from before.

Because I knew well enough how lonely I was.

How much pain I felt.

And because I wanted to receive apologies for being a little greedy.

“So please try harder from now on.”

I decided to accept my father’s apology.

Even though I hadn’t found the right answer after living hundreds of lives, maybe I could find it in this life.

That’s what I thought.

“Please try even harder.”

I raised my head and looked at the emperor, at my father.

“Let’s take care of each other, clumsy people. Father.”

At my words, my father’s head drooped. He wiped his face continuously.

Tears flowed through his fingers and fell.

“I was the clumsy one.”

It was a voice filled with tears and struggle.

“And I should have been the one to pull myself together and try even harder than you.”

It was a voice that knew his faults too well.

“I’m sorry.”

My father raised his head. His face was soaked with endless tears.

“For tormenting you with my pain. Even if there was a reason, I let you suffer.”

He closed his eyes and bowed his head.

“I sincerely apologize.”

Watching him like that.

Somehow, I felt it would be okay to let go of old memories now.

“I accept your apology.”

I nodded and looked at my father.

My family, my father.

“Let’s do well from now on, Father.”

Somehow, my throat didn’t hurt anymore.

With one last touch to my throat, I smiled.