Handsome Trash - 27
Hyewon recalled Eunhyuk’s answer when they first met again and she asked how long he would stay.
“Until I get tired of f*cking you.”
She wondered if he was leaving now because he was tired of her.
It was good. Yeah, it was good.
He was the one who would have to go back to Seoul when his job was done.
It’s just that the time has been accelerated.
Like it was supposed to be…
“Why are you crying?”
Ah, there it goes.
It was weird for her to cry there.
The tears that had begun to creep out of her eyes turned into sobs. The sobs grew louder and louder.
“Oh, God, why am I like this…”
She rubbed her eyes and covered them with her hands, but the flood refused to cease.
“You must be crying because you’re glad I’m going.”
She wished it was like that.
She wished it was because she was relieved to be separated from the filthy scumbag who had been forcing her to have s*x with him.
Eunhyuk, standing next to her around the table, shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at her with arrogant eyes.
“Is it a relief? The bastard who has been f*cking you is now leaving.”
The insensitive voice was above her head.
Unable to muster the courage to look up at him, Hyewon wrapped her hands around her tear-stained face, unable to move.
“That’s what you said, too. You would f*ck and leave.”
She insisted that he was the one who was relieved, while he insisted she was the one who was relieved. Hyewon couldn’t even rebuke him.
Her sobs wouldn’t stop, and she tried to force herself to calm down through breathing, but the air got stuck in her throat. She was now gasping for hair.
“You, you must be so happy. Finally, you don’t have to see such ugly trash.”
“I didn’t say I never wanted to see you again.”
There was no way she was going to make out dozens of times a night with someone she hated.
“Your expression, your tone. It’s been saying that the whole time.”
Eunhyuk’s hand on her head made her sit up, unable to care anymore.
The sound of the chair being dragged backward sounded through the air.
If she sobbed beside him any longer, it would be like she was admitting it.
“Tell me why you’re crying. Don’t just keep your mouth shut like an idiot.”
Eunhyuk grabbed her.
His grip on her arm felt like the last chance she would ever have, and she just couldn’t fall flat on her face.
“How can I tell you?”
“Why can’t you? Either you have a problem inside of your head or there is a problem with this relationship.”
Hyewon didn’t dare look him in the eye, so she leaned over and whispered instead.
“I let go, and I ran away.”
Gasping for breath, Hyewon continued her struggle.
“It’s so obvious, so what am I supposed to say, Mr. Cha Eunhyuk?”
“Tell me. I’ll give you a chance.”
“… I’m not confident.”
She wanted to take Eunhyuk’s hand in hers, but her body wouldn’t listen. Her mouth refused to open.
If Soonok had been forced to love his grandpa her whole life, if she had been brainwashed, then Hyewon was the victim of that.
“Today was the first time I realized that opening your mouth requires confidence.”
Hyewon’s lips, blue as if submerged in water, trembled.
“… I thought it would only take two days.”
“What?”
“I thought two days would be enough to clear my mind, but then you said you were leaving.”
“…”
“As it is, we’ll never see each other again.”
Hyewon sobbed, her whole body shaking and she was unable to take a step or move her body.
Eunhyuk grabbed her shoulders and pulled her close enough that their noses touched.
“F*ck, Hyewon.”
With a harsh curse, Eunhyuk pressed their lips together and pulled away.
Hyewon squeezed her eyes shut as she smelt the scent of his cologne and felt the warmth of his lips.
“Ugh.”
“Why do people go back and forth like this?”
Even the painful touch of his hand on her shoulder was pleasurable for a moment.
“Just do one thing. If you don’t like it, then you don’t like it. If you do like it, then you do it like it. Just one thing.”
“…”
“My f*cking head doesn’t get spinning around like that, so if you don’t tell me straight, I won’t know. I’ll misunderstand.”
“Hmph.”
Hyewon suddenly realized why she kept going rigid every time Eunhyuk approached her.
When she thought of him, she heard her grandmother’s voice.
Whenever her heart was pounding, she could hear her grandmother screaming.
Grandma Soonok was a sweet and kind woman, but she was also fragile like she could break with a touch.
She always spoke the same things like a habit.
“I will have no regrets for the rest of my life.”
Hyewon was in her third year of middle school.
When she came home from school, she found her grandmother lying in her room. She ran to the village at the bottom of the mountain her house was on.
The old woman, who had written a suicide note and slashed her wrists, said that if Hyewon had found her just a little later… If she had arrived at the hospital just a little later, she would not be in this world.
For the first time, Hyewon read her grandmother’s words.
Her grandmother’s words were full of anger toward Woongyu. Funnily enough, in the end, she still said she loved him.
It was a sentiment that her middle school mind couldn’t comprehend.
Even since she regained consciousness, she’d been recounting the events of her life with him like a madwoman.
Some days she was a 19-year-old grandmother, other days she was a 30-year-old grandmother, describing her affectionate behavior with Woongyu in graphic detail.
Once a month, Hyewon used to volunteer at the village hall from the hospital in town, so she brought her grandmother there. The doctor shook his head at her pleas to fix her grandmother, saying that she was very sick.
Alzheimer’s is an incurable disease.
The villagers chimed in.
“Grandma took you in, Hyewon. You’re responsible for her.”
Since her grandmother had taken in the 11-year-old and raised her, it was up to Hyewon to take care of her.
The good news is that her grandmother’s condition wasn’t serious enough to require someone else to take care of her. The bad news is that her repetitive stories and behavior wore Hyewon down.
With no money, food was scarce.
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