Handsome Trash - 25

Her whole body was crushed against his hard body, unable to move. The force of his hand on her jaw made her feel like she was a rigid piece of meat sitting on the butcher’s block.

“Stop this. Do you want to ruin my life?”

She couldn’t hold back her tears.

Did she have to reach the lowest of lows for him to be satisfied?

“I want to ruin it.”

Hyewon’s tears trickled down the back of Eunhyuk’s hand that held her jaw.

“You deserve to be ruined, too. I suffered so much looking for you when you disappeared. It’s only fair.”

“You think you were the only one who suffered?”

Hyewon asked Eunhyuk through her sobs.

“If you want to talk about how much you were in pain too, go ahead.”

Not being able to see him tormented her, too.

She missed him like crazy. She regretted letting him go every night.

He wasn’t a very sweet man.

He was rough, not soft.

She knew his comfort was genuine, though.

“See, you weren’t.”

Hyewon couldn’t bring herself to open her mouth to tell him how much she missed him.

“Why didn’t you just ask to casually meet? If I was the Cha Eunhyuk of back then, I would have run to you and done anything you asked.”

Hyewon continued to sob.

“You could have asked me for money, and I would have given it to you. If you asked me to f*ck you all night, I wouldn’t have stopped.”

Outside of the hotel, Eunhyuk’s voice was so loud you could see the veins on his neck, but inside, it was rapidly changing.

“Even if you told me to crawl on all fours, I would have done it.”

Hyewon was fully aware that she wasn’t the only one holding back a lot of emotions.

From the moment he mentioned that he rushed to her out of concern, more legitimacy was added to the bullshit he had been doing to her.

“It was once all in your hands.”

Eunhyuk’s hands relaxed as he said that in the past, she had every option in her hands.

“Unfortunately, not now.”

She couldn’t feel her chin as he released his grasp.

The elevator doors opened.

He released the body that was pressing down on hers. She should have tried to let go of the hand that was holding hers, but he continued to pull her with it.

“I don’t want to smell that assh*le on you, so come here.”

Hyewon was scared to enter the room. Eunhyuk shoved her into the bathroom and began to unbutton his coat on her.

Eunhyuk continued to curse at the manager in his head. It would be a lie to say she didn’t smell like him.

His cologne thickly clung to the coat Cha Eunhyuk forced her to wear.

“I’ll do it.”

When the coat comes off, traces of what happened next to the karaoke room were revealed.

Hyewon reached out with a shaking hand to stop him.

“I told you that you didn’t have a choice. Turn around.”

He didn’t even pretend to listen.

“It will be over sooner than I thought,” Eunhyuk said, unbuttoning the coat. “I’ll go back in two days.”

“Well… good.”

Finishing two days ahead of schedule meant that checkout wouldn’t be delayed, and the promised goodbye was imminent.

“Good for you. Not for me.”

“You no longer have a reason to question my existence. It will be easier for you to go back, Eunhyuk.”

“I still don’t know… Why we had to break up.”

Eunhyuk’s voice was growling in the elevator, ready to tear her apart, but now it was lower and softer.

“I’m the problem.”

She lived with all the resentment, and not being hated won’t change that.

They were breaking up and will never see each other again. If he wants to do it like this, she’ll try to make him feel more comfortable.

“You seem to be an expert in bringing people to the pits of hell.”

“For 2 years, you’ve been annoyed, tormented, and sick to death wondering why I left, where I went, and what I did.”

“…”

To Hyewon, Eunhyuk was the most difficult person in the world.

“Now that you know, you don’t have to wonder.”

Eunhyuk’s nimble hands slipped from the coat buttons.

“We’ve seen and felt each other’s bodies, and now all we have is hate.”

“You, do you hate me?”

“No. At least I’ll have a less desolate life than before, so our reunion wasn’t completely pointless.”

“Could I only do so little for you?”

He drew in a somewhat defeated breath.

“Why did you say that to me? You said that you would wait.”

“Everyone makes up words to fit the situation, and I made up words to fit that situation…”

She fooled herself and she fooled him.

Eunhyuk didn’t know what to focus on. His hand, which was hovering over the buttons, finally fell away.

“Stop. Okay.”

Rising from a low crouch, Eunhyuk took a step backward and turned his back to her.

He should have always been the first to go. A man who would barely let go when he was at the height of excitement.

Now, his back turned to her before anything could start.

Eunhyuk drank, threatening to empty all the liquor in the minibar.

Hyewon couldn’t bring herself to say that she wanted to go home.

Jisung and work had long since faded from her mind. All she could think about was the fact that Eunhyuk would check out two days earlier.

“Don’t just stare, drink too.”

Eunhyuk opened his mouth for the first time in a while, even though she thought he shut it out of anger.

After a moment’s hesitation, Hyewon sat across from Eunhyuk and accepted the drink from him.

After gulping it down to quench her parched throat, Hyewon immediately became dizzy. She had more to drink than usual, and drowning it in one gulp made her head spin.

“Ugh.”

“Who would be so ignorant as to consume liquor like that?”

Eunhyuk looked at Hyewon like she was pathetic, then downed his drink.

“Two years ago, on my way to Bonjuri, I got a call that my grandfather was in critical condition. By the time I got to Seoul, he was already dead.”

H*rny or angry.

Hyewon was used to seeing him in one of those two forms, so the rational, calm Eunhyuk felt foreign.

“I know. I’m the one who didn’t fulfill my promise to come back for the weekend.”

Chewing slowly on his reddened lower lip, Eunhyuk ruffled his hair.

“But I believed you, and I thought that if I explained myself that day I went back, you would understand. You lost someone, too.”

ya no i still feel so much rage toward hyewon for this. if she has 1000 haters, one of them. if she 10 haters, im one of them, if she has 1 hater, im them. if she has no haters, im dead

Kofi