Even if the Dawn Abandons You - Chapter 6

That evening, Anais finally met Leonard, just as she had hoped earlier in the day. Leonard arrived at Anais’ house with a large toolbox in hand, seemingly to inspect the condition of the ceiling. He possessed broad shoulders and a sturdy physique, quite different from the handsome appearance she had seen earlier. He resembled more of a formidable beast. He had a familiar face, yet there was an unfamiliar expression on it.

“I suppose you didn’t really ask me to inspect the ceiling,” Leonard said, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed and placing the toolbox roughly on the floor. His voice was cold, and the atmosphere in the house grew heavy. Anais couldn’t help but swallow nervously. She had never seen Leonard wear such a harsh and ferocious expression before, not even when he criticized his father and brother. It momentarily confused her, but then she reconciled with the fact that he had every reason to criticize, despise, and even hate her—Anais Belmartier.

“Your Highness,” she uttered, unintentionally letting slip the title she hoped would never escape her lips. Anais noticed Leonard’s eyebrows twitch in response. The imperial family had been officially dethroned, and in this land, there was no one who could be addressed as ‘Your Highness.’ However, she lacked the courage to refer to Leonard with any other title. She didn’t even possess a proper title of her own.

“Someday, I wish to hear you call my name,” Leonard said, his tone filled with an unexpected request.

“What?” Anais inquired.

“You calling my name.”

Anais felt that such a day should not be now, even if Leonard had once wished for it. She looked at him uneasily as he did not respond to the title ‘Your Highness,’ and then went straight to the main point.

“Why are you here?”

It was a question that perplexed Anais. No matter how much she pondered, Leonard’s presence in Dunang, instead of being at Fort Basbur or abroad, made no sense. To her, it felt as if he were intentionally putting himself at risk by staying so close to Rue, the headquarters of the revolutionary army. In fact, he hadn’t encountered her, who was now an officer in the Revolutionary Army. Even if he were to flee to the nearest city, the revolutionary army was running rampant. If he were to take such a great risk, it would be natural for him to go to Fort Basbur and reclaim his position as emperor.

“Are you asking why I’m not at Fort Basbur, or why I’m choosing to stay in this country?” Leonard questioned.

“Any answer that would make sense…”

“Acceptable answers, you mean.”

Leonard’s voice grew angrier, and he took a step closer to Anais, who was standing there. Anais instinctively took a step back. Her fine silver hair slid from her shoulders, and her once bright blue eyes, harder than the ice of a midwinter lake, appeared on the verge of shedding tears.

“…I simply want to know why you’re taking such risks,” she managed to say.

“In that case, I must ask why you care about my risks,” Leonard replied, his gray eyes shining brightly. Anais bit her lip. This conversation seemed to be against her from the very beginning. There were so many things she wanted to say to him, yet so many things she couldn’t bring herself to say. Wasn’t it the same for him? When Leonard asked her why she cared about his danger, she had no answer.

Nevertheless, she had summoned him because his presence here truly endangered him. However, Anais couldn’t explain why. There were too many things she couldn’t disclose to both Anais Belmartier and Leonard Antoine de Charleroi.

Leonard sneered at Anais, who remained speechless.

“Weren’t the only members of the royal family shot dead by your proud revolutionaries on top of the eastern tower that day?”

Once again, Anais remained silent. Leonard’s comment brought back vivid memories of that fateful day.

Anais still remembered that day as if it had just happened. She couldn’t save them, but she felt responsible for protecting them until the very end—the day the imperial family were taken to the eastern tower for the first time since their imprisonment. Gunshots and screams reverberated through the iron gate. Inside, there were only seven prisoners, including two children, destined to be killed. The sound of gunshots persisted for far too long, echoing loudly.

The executioners were all members of the Revolutionary Army. They were individuals who had lost their families to the tyranny of the imperial family, who had endured hunger, and who had witnessed countless comrades fall victim to their ruthless suppression. It wouldn’t be surprising if their boiling anger got the better of them, resulting in an excessive use of bullets. That day, they ignored the fact that two innocent children were in the room beyond the iron door, unaware of the imminent danger and trembling in fear.

Children who perished at the hands of those determined to create a new, free, and happy world. Anais suddenly felt nauseated and staggered back to the table, covering her mouth with her hand. However, her words were far from casual.

“Perhaps you’d prefer to kill me too and be done with it.”

Their conversation abruptly ended there. Leonard glared at Anais with an intensity fiercer than any expression he had ever worn.

“I’m unsure if I should. If I were truly planning to reveal your location to…”

Leonard Antoine de Charleroi was no fool. If Anais had such intentions, there would have been no opportunity for this secret meeting between the two of them. Based on Anais’ actions thus far, Leonard was certain of at least one thing—Anais had no intention of disclosing his whereabouts to the Revolutionary Army. Therefore…

“I will not leave, Anais Belmartier. I will continue to stay in Dunang…”

At that moment, Anais despaired. If Leonard continued to stay in Dunang, she had no idea how she could protect him. However, Leonard, unaware of her thoughts, continued to speak in a cool and somber tone.

“I apologize if I haven’t met your expectations, but I won’t kill you either.”

He assured her, in a threatening voice, that he would spare her life—though it sounded as if he wanted nothing more than to end it right then and there.

“I will never become a murderer like you.”

With those words, like a sharp awl piercing her bones, Leonard turned around and left Anais’ house. Anais couldn’t help but gaze at his retreating figure, a figure she could never grasp hold of.

? ? ?

After Leonard departed, Anais collapsed on the spot, her legs giving way beneath her. She covered her burning eyes with her hands and took several deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself. However, serenity eluded her. Anais trembled like an abandoned baby bird before managing to rise from the floor and sit in her chair. She clasped her hands together, once again burying her eyes within them.

“Why do you care about my risks?” Leonard’s question echoed in her mind. She knew she could never reveal the true reason to him, not while standing before him. But there was only one answer.

Because she didn’t want him to die.

It wasn’t just that Leonard Antoine de Charleroi held a special place in her heart.

But what did that mean? Had she genuinely fought to keep them alive? It was all too late now; her reasons sounded like a feeble excuse. Anais couldn’t admit that she truly wanted to save them. If she couldn’t bear the weight of her sincerity, couldn’t she have at least attempted to rescue the two young children of the crown prince? However, it was the will of the revolutionary army, and furthermore, the will of the people, that kept the members of the imperial family confined. Anais couldn’t find any justification for secretly acting against it. If she were to live, she believed she had to do so with pride. She thought she could.

May the world not be so cruel.

We were supposed to create such a world.

Anais objected because she believed it was wrong to kill them all, yet she refrained from rescuing them because she believed that was wrong as well. It was as simple as that.

And now, it was all over.

In the end, when it came to failing to save even a single person, she had no right to claim that she wanted to save the ones he had lost.

That night, Anais couldn’t sleep a wink.

She thought of the young members of the imperial family who had died innocently simply because they had been born into the imperial family. She thought of the innocent civilians killed and wounded during the civil war, all because they resided in Bathbourg. She recalled a world she believed had changed. She remembered the world she had hoped to change.

It felt as if the ideals she had never doubted were out of her reach.