Even if the Dawn Abandons You - Chapter 47

However, she did not block her ears. Clearly, the affection with intention seeped into her ears and her skin, and she simply waited, half-asleep, to hear what he would say next.

“Instead, we have a tangled past.”

“I can’t just dwell on the past.”

“How about revisiting it instead?”

“What is that…”

Anais turned her head as if in disbelief. But Leonard understood that it wasn’t a rejection or an act of ignoring his words, but a moment of introspection, and he offered a knowing smile.

“Let’s go back and pretend that all the stupid oaths I made never happened. Because that’s not what I had to say to you that day. … … as you know.”

Her head, which had turned coldly away, slowly rose to face him. The face of Leonard, who was confessing very old regrets about the oaths he made that day, was now directly in front of her. 

She unknowingly swallowed her saliva. Even though she had lashed herself for not letting herself be swayed, the thought that she had already been swayed was overwhelming. 

Anais, who had believed that the last thin thread of her severed reason had been completely reattached, vehemently denied his assumption, in which he firmly insisted that ‘if that day I had said different words, the words I truly wanted to say, we wouldn’t be in this situation.’

“…No matter what you said, Your Highness, my choice would have remained the same.”

“My choice could have been different. If I had known it would turn out like this, I might have taken a gamble.”

“Don’t talk nonsense. Your Highness wouldn’t have…”

“Can’t we go crazy together?”

At the unexpected question, Anais was momentarily at a loss for words. Then, she burst into a moist laughter. The moment she let go of the last thread she had been clutching, the one holding the blanket, her grip tightened. Her furrowed brow, along with her silvery eyelids, trembled. Her voice, soaked with moisture just like her laughter, quivered thinly, bursting out like a sigh, blaming and resentful.

“Your Highness, what can I do by going crazy with you?”

“I’ve endured a lot while I was in my right mind.”

The two gazes met in midair. Leonard, who was probably not drunk at all, smiled vaguely and coyly, as if he were drunk on something. The gray eyes seen through the disheveled auburn hair gave off a fascinating glow. Anais had the illusion that his unspoken words were being conveyed through his smile and eyes.

Your comrades, my family.

Something that the people we sent away can point their fingers at.

Let’s do something the world would never allow us to do.

“For example-”

As soon as Leonard, who felt the need for a decisive blow, could speak, Anais suddenly grabbed his shirt. The unfinished words flew out of his head, and Leonard’s upper body, which had been standing without guard, was dragged down by Anais’ hand. The moment Leonard thought this could not be possible, Anais put a little more pressure on her hand and immediately kissed him.

The strength she was holding on to his shirt loosened like a lie as soon as their lips met. Leonard lost his balance and fell forward, placing his hands on the bed. Anais fell onto the bed in an instant and seemed to be trapped in Leonard’s arms, but Anais did not leave his lips or open her eyes.

Half-opened cold lips mingled with fresh, hot breath. Rather than an act of tenderness, it resembled a desperate touch, seeking solace in a fleeting moment of lost warmth.

Leonard gazed into Anais’s eyes, taking in the tears that streamed from her closed eyelids. With a gentle touch, he slowly released his lips from hers, his hand delicately cupping her cheek and neck. It was then that Anais, her eyes still wet, erupted into laughter, a sound that mingled with the essence of tears.

“You are not exactly skilled in seduction.”

“You’re still playing hard to get, I see. You’re too kind to put on such a facade.”

Leonard replied, a smile playing on his lips. He reached out to arrange the disheveled silver strands of hair resting on the blanket before leaning in once more.

A deeper, deeper kiss followed.

Anais did not push away Leonard, who held her body as if he would never let go of it, and dug tenaciously and earnestly between her open lips.

‘Can I ask what your regret is?’

Stephanie Valli’s question echoed in her head. Leonard suggested they go back in time and he asked if they could go crazy together. She didn’t refuse his ridiculous offer. Anais justified this moment endlessly, without being drunk or in her right mind, while being held in the arms of Leonard, who said she was also insane. 

Until the day I’ve been waiting for comes, she wonders if it’s okay to let go of reason for a moment in this crazy heat, even if she dare to hope for it and end up in hell. Or even vaguely aware that all of this was according to Leonard’s calculations.

If this is her regret, she asks herself if she can be greedy to this extent.

? ? ?

“Your Highness, here is the list you requested.”

Entering the study, Count Pierre de Moselle handed a file to Leonard. Leonard, who took the file with the prince’s seal on the cover, anxiously checked the list of names on the back cover. The names of those arrested at the Republican rally a few days ago were densely listed on the bright white paper. He repeatedly scanned from the top to the bottom of the paper.

Anais’ name was not found anywhere on the paper.

“If Mademoiselle Belmartier is arrested, will you secretly release her?”

Paul de Entrivier, who was sitting on the sofa in his office, asked a question as if he was astonished at his lord, who was behaving like a worldly brat again today. After receiving the document again from Leonard, Pierre frowned at Paul, who did not hesitate to say profanity again today, but Leonard actually remained calm.

“Maybe so.”

In response to Leonard’s answer, which was even filled with laughter, Paul said, “Oh no,” and pretended to turn away. This time, Pierre also lowered his eyes as if he was a little confused.

Half a year has already passed since Anais Bellemartier first stood on the podium of a republican rally. It was already three years ago that Frédéric Belmartier died, and that Leonard saved her life when she was on the verge of execution because she was suspected of being the daughter of a criminal.

It’s not the same now as it was then. The imperial family’s worries are deepening day by day as the resistance of the republicans, who claim that neither the emperor nor the nobles should exist, grows stronger day by day. Unlike three years ago, when they were simply labeled as rebels and in reality their military force itself was woefully insufficient, they are now even equipped with something that can be called a military force.

Moreover, half a year ago, republicans claimed that both the death of Marcel Belmartier and Frédéric Belmartier were the fault of the imperial family, and Anais Belmartier, who remained alone and committed herself to the rebels, immediately emerged as their symbol.

Anais Belmartier was no longer a delicate girl who was imprisoned in a dungeon and her life threatened simply because she was her father’s daughter. She was now a republican in name and reality, a symbol of rebellion, and a rebel executive who even took on the role of inciting the people from the podium. Prince Henri offered a huge bounty on her and other key rebels, and even threatened to kill her gracefully if he secured her.

In fact, Leonard had recently had a vocal confrontation with Prince Henri, who had ordered the arrested revolutionary Roxanne Baldoise executed without trial and her body hung in the central square of the Seine. Despite Leonard’s opposition, Roxanne Baldoise ended up as a horrible corpse, hung in the square for three days, and then thrown into the wilderness to become crow’s meal.

Despite Paul and Pierre’s dissuasion, Leonard went to the central square of the Seine and checked her body, which was guarded by soldiers. It was to gather his courage. In case Anais was arrested and he failed to prevent her from being taken, she would meet a fate worse than Roxanne Valdoise.

Leonard was determined to prevent that, even by committing immorality if necessary – even if the immorality he thought was that she would overthrow the Emperor and Crown Prince. That’s what he thought, self-deprecatory, when he decided to do so.

If I give you that kind of grace, will you, who likes to be grateful, return to me out of gratitude?

“In case you have forgotten, Your Highness, she has already betrayed your grace.”

And it was always Paul de Entrivier’s job to shatter such vain expectations. Although Leonard did not dare to regard him saving her life three years ago as a favor he had done, he had no disagreement with the fact that he had been betrayed. The fact that Anais had betrayed him and the oath he had sworn was an undeniable truth. Nevertheless.

“Even if I have to be betrayed hundreds of times more, I can’t bear to see her die.”

“Your Highness …”

“You can laugh if you want.”

Even so, he still dreamt of a future with Anais. Leonard interpreted the reasons behind the people’s cries for the overthrow of the monarchy and the abolition of the regime as the tyranny of Antoine XIII and Prince Henri. So, as long as that was resolved, he believed, without a doubt, that they, including Anais, would return. He wanted to create a country good enough that she and Léans citizens wouldn’t have to turn to republicanism. If it could be done, he thought he could ignore and forgive such minor betrayals countless times.