Duke, Please Fail! - Chapter 21

Episode 21

“I am Joseph Langbrook. Are you Nelly Pepper?”

“Yes.”

“I heard it from Faust.”

I feel like I know what he heard, but I don’t want to know. It’s embarrassing just to hear it, let alone praise. I awkwardly changed the subject.

“Haha. Looks like you’re close with Faust.”

“We got along for a while, and then it got complicated again. And I heard stories about you from that guy, which made me reflect a lot.”

“Reflect, you say?”

“If I had trusted a little more when he was going through a tough time after losing his wife, it would have been better, that’s what I think.”

I dodged a bullet there.

Avoiding Joseph’s faint gaze, I looked at a distant mountain for no reason. Of course, I couldn’t see the mountain because it was dark around.

At that moment, other knights approaching from this side came into view. I quickly pressed myself against the wall and covered my face.

Joseph glanced at me briefly but pretended not to know.

“Joseph, you were downstairs. Why did you put down the drawbridge?”

“That… I wanted to go out to the square for a bit.”

The knights exchanged greetings and went up the wall.

As soon as the footsteps of the two disappeared completely, Joseph returned. He rolled his eyes looking for an excuse and then spoke.

“This, um, it’s a surprise! You must not let anyone know!”

“If that’s the case, I’ll keep it a secret. I’ll help you cross.”

“Yes. Thank you, Mr. Joseph.”

I smiled and patted his shoulder pressed against the leather strap. Joseph nodded.

“I’ll distract their attention to the rear so you can pass through the gap. You need to go quickly. My colleague will be coming down soon, and we’re in a team of two.”

“Yes!”

With Joseph’s help, I managed to get outside without being noticed. Joseph crossed the drawbridge and approached me.

“If it’s okay with you, please borrow a donkey.”

“Wouldn’t it be noisy?”

“It should be fine if you take the forest path.”

I briefly expressed my gratitude and headed to the pasture.

Most of the animals were asleep. As I approached stealthily, one donkey with drooping ears opened its eyes.

“Hush.”

I’m not sure if the donkey understands my words, but I gestured for it to be quiet. The donkey got up unsteadily and approached me.

Seeing that it didn’t cry even when it saw a stranger, it seemed to be a quiet…

“Grr! Heeheeheeheehee, chomp!”

“No! Don’t cry. Shh. Shh.”

I picked up a carrot from my surroundings. The donkey opened its mouth. When I tossed it, the donkey grabbed the carrot from mid-air.

…Then it spat it out.

“Squawk!”

“Don’t cry!”

In response to the donkey’s noise, other animals seemed to have awakened, and various animal sounds could be heard here and there. Especially, the barking of dogs sounded fierce.

When I looked back, to my surprise, the dogs were exposing the situation.

What should I do? Should I break the glass bottle on my back to scare the dogs away? But then, what about my revenge?

I was at a loss. I didn’t know what to do, and as I cried with the donkey, I heard a faint yawning sound.

Soon, footsteps and a man appeared under the dreamy moonlight.

He scratched his stomach as he spoke.

“Uhh, who are you? Are you a thief?”

I stopped crying and clumsily took out the metal badge from my pocket. In response, the man calmed the dogs and approached, examining the metal badge.

“Ah, you’re the estate manager.”

The man said in a soft voice and scratched his stomach again.

“So, you’re here to steal something?”

“No!”

I shouted in vain, and the dogs started barking loudly. The donkey behind me also started braying again.

What a situation!

I suppressed the urge to cry and sniffled loudly.

“I just want to borrow one donkey.”

“Oh.”

“Please choose a quiet one!”

“Hmm…”

The man responded vaguely and brought a quiet donkey that was sitting quietly in a corner. The donkey showed signs of displeasure and snorted loudly, turning its nose up.

“Here you go.”

“Please keep it a secret from others.”

“Sure, who would I tell?”

The man replied casually, then led the dogs away and disappeared.

The donkey behind me, which had been crying loudly, had already fallen asleep. It lay there as if to say nothing had happened, which irritated me.

As I stared at it in silence, the quiet donkey approached me.

I tied a leather bag to the donkey’s saddle, and it seemed a bit happier. As a token of gratitude, I gently stroked the donkey’s neck and set off.

Of course, as I passed by, I slyly picked up the carrot that the noisy donkey had spat out. I had thought of punishing it, but the quiet donkey had behaved so well.

“Huff, huff.”

Unbelievably fast!

When I came to my senses, it wasn’t me leading the donkey; the donkey was leading me. I couldn’t tell who was the master here.

As my steps gradually slowed down, the donkey stopped and turned to look at me. It was strange. Why could I see expressions on an animal? It seemed like it was silently cursing me with its eyes, saying, “Your stamina is trash!”

“Hey, you’re a person.”

The donkey either didn’t understand or simply ignored me, continuing to give me an impolite look.

“If you’re going to look at me like that, pay some taxes!”

I picked a fight for no reason, and the silent donkey turned its body away. I casually took out a carrot from my bag and shook it.

“I’ll give you a carrot if you rest for a moment.”

The donkey, perhaps enticed by the smell of carrots, approached me. I gently stroked the donkey’s neck as it ate the carrot, then sighed and stood up again. As I did, the donkey lowered its head and lightly tapped my thigh.

“What’s that? You want to fight?”

The donkey made a grunting sound and kept nudging its head at me.

…What does it want me to do?

“Do you want me to ride you?”

It was an obvious question, but there was no response. Still, it seemed like it wanted me to ride it. Its expression seemed to say, “I’ll do you a favor, you poor thing.”

‘Should I try riding it? It’s not that big, like a horse.’

I contemplated for a moment and then, carrying the bag with the glass bottle, climbed onto the donkey’s back. As soon as I did, the donkey quickly started walking, as if it had been waiting for me.

My slow pace must have been quite frustrating to it. It was a quiet but impatient fellow.

After riding the donkey for a while, we arrived at a cultivated field. It was already beginning to dawn.

‘I need to spread this quickly.’

When I opened the lid of the glass bottle, a pungent smell wafted out. The donkey didn’t like it very much, as it made strange noises and kicked in the air. Feeling sorry, I withdrew the glass bottle while holding it.

‘Maybe I shouldn’t just sprinkle it around.’

The smell was strong, and if I spread this too much, the crops might die overnight. Then, I’d be driven away before even securing my retirement funds.

‘Should I dilute it?’

It was a liquid made from selecting only harmful substances for plants. So, diluting it with water wouldn’t suddenly make it beneficial.

‘Okay, let’s slowly poison the crops! It’s just like in novels when they poison each other in a duel.’

That’s right. I’m feeling good about this revenge!

“Hehehe. You’ll have to bear with this for a while, my donkey friend.”

Humming to myself, I entered the warehouse and brought out a large oak barrel. I poured all of my homemade plant poison into it and filled it with water. It became so diluted that anyone else would mistake it for water.

“Now, all I have to do is spray this steadily.”

I don’t have enough to spray the whole field, and I don’t have the stamina, so I decided to target the most expensive crops.

I connected a large sprayer to the oak barrel, loaded it onto a cart, and hitched the cart to the donkey.

“Donkey.”

Calling it repeatedly makes me seem ridiculous. Well, now we’re partners in crime!

Hmm… what should I name it? It’s a quiet donkey, so… 

“Okay! From now on, you’re Guadang, got it?”

“…”

Silent as ever. That suits me just fine.

I gently stroked Guadang’s head and took the reins again. Guadang made tiny sounds, like a snort, but followed me obediently.

I went around with Guadang, spraying the liquid. I paid extra attention to the strawberry field that Leonel liked so much.

“They must die!”

The sun was slowly rising. 

I returned to the warehouse to put back the oak barrel. I rushed to prepare a lot of apples for Guadang, and it quickly devoured them. In the meantime, the day had completely dawned.

In the bright light, Guadang looked black, except for the sugar stains on its snout and around its eyes.

‘So cute.’

I smiled contentedly and petted Guadang. Maybe because I gave it something tasty, its gaze softened.

Whether it’s humans or animals, you have to tame them with food!

Satisfied with its nodding, suddenly a voice interrupted.

“What are you doing here?”

I turned around in surprise, and there was Lizzy.

“Why are you here, Lizzy?”

“I just wanted to see Ms. Nelly, and Mr. Levance asked me to give this to you. It’s budget-related documents…”

Lizzy’s words trailed off as she looked at Guadang. Then she glanced between the documents and me. It was clear she was suspicious.

And I looked suspicious. It was early in the morning, and I had an oak barrel, a large sprayer, and a donkey with me.

“Lizzy, this is…”

I was trying to find an excuse when suddenly, Guadang let out a sharp cry.

“Kwaaack!”

“Kyaaack!”

Lizzy also screamed, and both of them froze in their tracks. I quickly tied up Guadang to a tree and rushed over to Lizzy.

“Are you okay?”

“I-I’m fine. I’m actually scared of everything with fur except people.”

Lizzy seemed to have no time to investigate further. If I brought her into the office now, she would probably forget about the oak barrel and the large sprayer.

“That… I see.”