Dark Dad's Rebirth - Chapter 14. Madness (7)

Chapter 14. Madness (7)

A strange sensation washed over him, unfamiliar yet powerful. It wasn’t the same as when he first learned of Aria’s existence; this feeling was completely new.

A tingling, delicate emotion that he had never experienced before.

“If the Emperor’s sect finds out…”

Aria and the child would be in great danger.

Caelius bit down hard on his lip. He was determined to protect them, no matter what the cost.

He would protect Aria and her child at any cost, even if it meant sacrificing himself. Caelius thought, his eyes fixed on her.

He was not sure how to protect her, as he had never drawn a sword in defense of another.

The blood that stained his hands was never shed to protect anyone; it was always taken, never given. From then on, war became a mere game to him, and the sharp blade was a mere tool for the hunt.

Suddenly, for the first time, Caelius felt the weight of guilt for the unsightly blood on his hands, fearing that the consequences of his actions would fall on Aria and their child.

Fear and worry. There are no words to describe the depth of his feelings.

‘What can I do to earn your trust?’

Soft, tender feelings. A fragile, vulnerable yearning for love. Despite this awareness, Caelius did not attempt to unravel the complexity of his feelings; he simply allowed them to wash over him like a relentless tide, silently bearing the pain of his rejected heart.

‘I could shower you with gifts, as I did with Leria. I could decorate your room with treasures unlike any other, or place a majestic crown on your beautiful golden hair. If I pledged my undying loyalty to you, if I fell to my knees and begged for forgiveness… Maybe then you would love me again.’ he thought.

– “Would you give up your title if I asked you to?”

– “I’m asking if you’d give up your duke, your status, and your name and live quietly in a small southern town, away from the public eye, just like that.”

From birth, Caelius had never considered a life without power and prestige. He was born to rule and destined for greatness.

‘I would give up the title, shed the facade of greatness, and live with you and our child in an unknown forest.

‘I couldn’t give a straight answer before, but now I can.’

‘If that’s what you want, I’ll let it all go; if that’s what it takes to change your mind, I’ll do it.’

Despite his determination, Caelius felt uneasy. He knew that his vow would not bring Aria back.

“Lily…….”

Caelius gently kissed her cheek, but Aria remained asleep, unaffected by the touch.

“You can direct your anger towards me, but please, stay by my side.”

That was enough for now. Even if she held a grudge and pushed him away, he would stand firm and always be there for her. That alone was enough. If it would take time for her to trust him again, he’d be willing to put in the effort as long as she stayed with him.

Caelius wanted to bow his head at her feet and beg.

* * *

It was a strange dream that enveloped Caelius as he drifted into a deep sleep, its vividness almost real.

-“There are many boats in the market alley, so be careful. Don’t be grumpy; stay with me.”

-“But… but I wanted to try chicken skewers too.”

-“Lily, it is not good for you to eat common food.”

-“Yeah, but I don’t eat it every day, I just wanted to try it once.”

In the dream, Caelius held Aria’s hand tenderly, a gesture both strange and familiar.

-“It’s dangerous, Dad, you said you used to sneak it when you were a kid.”

The scene unfolded in the dream as Caelius and Aria strolled among the commoners in the bustling marketplace. Aria’s eyes lingered on a stall selling golden-brown chicken skewers, and she couldn’t resist.

-“Lily, hold onto Daddy’s hand,”

-“No, do you think I’m a child?”

-“You’re acting like a rebellious girl.”  

-“I’ll have to get out later and buy it without you knowing.”

Aria insisted until a reluctant Caelius finally agreed.

-“All right, all right, I’ll buy you one, but don’t wander around, hold my hand.”

Aria’s face lit up as Caelius handed her the skewer. She looked remarkably innocent for her age, holding the treat with joy as sauce dribbled from the corner of her mouth.

Watching Aria enjoy the skewer, Caelius couldn’t help but feel fondness for her, finding her adorable. It gave him a warm, familiar feeling.

-“Lily, are you going to finish it all by yourself?”

Aria hesitated, then replied,

-“Um… Why?”

-“It’s just that… Usually, I bring something delicious for us to share…”

-“You said it’s not good for you to eat common food,”

-“But…”

Caelius began, teasingly.

-“I was just kidding, you fool. Are you angry?”

-“I’m not angry. I can say anything to you,”

-“Angry?”

Aria fell silent.

-“Caelius the Sulker,”

-“Lily, I’m not going to scold you,”

-“I know,”

It felt like an ordinary day, unremarkable and insignificant, just another moment in a lifetime. Caelius wondered why he was suddenly dreaming of such scenes.

-I don’t want to go to sleep tonight.

“What? What do you mean?”

-“What’s the matter?

-I’m just saying that I think you’re beautiful, and I’m going to make you feel beautiful in bed.

Their exchange seemed like that of true lovers, filled with sweetness and innocence, unlike the current situation.

-” Lily was wrong.”

-” What?”

-”….…”

-” A kiss.”

-” What if someone sees us?”

-” I thought it would be nice for dad and daughter to talk.”

-” We don’t usually do that, do we?”

-“It’s okay; we’re not like everyone else.”

In his dream, he found himself smiling broadly, a smile he didn’t recognize as his own.

‘I wonder if I’ve ever smiled like that before,’

-“Dad, I want ice cream!”

-“No ice cream; we had some at home.”

-“But it’s not the same as street ice cream!”

-“What are you going to do when you grow up?”

-“What! You used to do everything I wanted and now you won’t even buy me a scoop of ice cream!”

He felt uncomfortable not only in his skin but also in Aria’s childish tantrums. In his memory, Aria is a scaredy-cat, always watching him like a wary herbivore, her fur standing on end.

In his dream, Aria didn’t hesitate to throw things at him. They seemed comfortable with each other, even cracking jokes.

Caelius had to stare at her until he woke up. Strangely enough, he didn’t mind looking at her.

* * *

Since the morning, Caelius had felt drained, and Aria seemed to be the main reason for his exhaustion.

“I told you I’m not hungry,” Aria said flatly, her eyes devoid of any emotion as they looked over at him.

“The doctor said not to skip meals,” Caelius reminded her.

“Sure, because of the baby,” Aria replied indifferently.

“I would have made sure you ate even if you weren’t pregnant,” Caelius insisted.

Aria remained unmoved, staring blankly at the food in front of her. She seemed not only indifferent to her well-being but also resentful of Caelius for not taking better care of her.

Frustrated by her attitude, Caelius stirred the stew in front of him, growing increasingly impatient.

“Lily, take a bite, will you?”

Part of him wanted to force-feed her, a tactic he might have resorted to in the past. But now he knew better. He understood that…

Caelius felt lost, unsure of how to solve their problems without resorting to violence. It was as if he had fallen back into a state of ignorance similar to that of a newborn baby. The situation was painfully unfamiliar.

“If I’m hurt…”

“It wouldn’t bother you.”

The indifferent tone of her voice sent a shiver down Caelius’ spine. Gone were the days when her golden eyes looked at him with vulnerability, like a prey seeking affection. The realization filled Caelius with regret.

He could shower her with riches and elevate her above all others, and she still wouldn’t love him.

What Aria wanted was complete freedom from him.