Childhood Friend Edification Theory - CHAPTER 2.1 - R19

02.Secretly – Part 1

Haea, who had called Jaeha out to the garden, ran her hand over her face.

“I thought it had ended there, but why did it happen again that night…?”

The memory she had forgotten for three days suddenly came back to her. Haea remembered clinging to him in a drunken stupor, claiming, ‘He’s someone who almost became my cousin!‘ Her slurred speech must have made it sound like she was introducing him to her classmates as her cousin.

“Why did I remember that incident?”

She had swallowed those words because Jaeha didn’t seem to like them, but they had slipped out while she was drunk. They say that drunken words are sober thoughts – did she say them because she really wanted him to be her cousin? 

No, it wasn’t.

Perhaps it was the thought of wanting to be with him forever. Believing that if there was just one more connection, whether it was blood or something else, the relationship would be stronger.

The relationship between Haea and Jaeha was perfect. There was no room for any interference to come between them. On the surface it seemed that way. Jaeha and Haea cherished each other and their trust and belief in each other was solid.

But why? And since when?

When had Haea unconsciously become aware of the precariousness of their relationship? From her childhood friend who seemed so perfect.

“Ah.“

She remembered what had caused her to say those things that day.

?People inevitably go their separate ways. Whether it’s through separation or death. Where there is light, there is darkness, and the more you love, the more you grieve.?

It was something a senior who had recently broken up with his girlfriend had drunkenly muttered. It was just a random remark made by a drunken stranger, but those words made Haea’s heart ache

There was nothing that could replace Ha Jaeha for Yun Haea. And it was the same for Ha Jaeha. This confidence made Haea anxious. Because the future was unknown.

She lacked the courage to lose him because he was so precious. She didn’t want to let go. She wanted to hold on to him somehow and stay connected. That’s why she desperately uttered the nonsensical ‘cousin’ statement, even though the desire for such a relationship had ended in her childhood.

But separation can come at any time. It’s inevitable as long as a person’s end is death.

Although she knew this, her heart sank. Sometimes Haea thought like this. Her heart was beating wildly and the presence of the mechanical valve was palpable.

What if she were to die early, just like that?

‘If that happened, wouldn’t I regret it? This very moment?’

Haea remembered the moment when death had lurked at her throat, waiting for an opportunity. She couldn’t forget the moment when the river of death overflowed and pushed her breath to the edge.

People who live with death at their side are bound to feel regret. No matter how hard they tried, leaving things behind felt like a waste.

At the time, Haea was worried about Jaeha. Although she also thought of her parents and friends, she felt guilty that he was her main concern. She knew that he excelled in everything he did. That he was many times better than ordinary people like her.

But what could she do? Knowing all this didn’t ease her worries. No matter how talented and outstanding he was, Haea worried about him. There was no need for everyone to understand. He was just precious to her, she didn’t want to lose him, and she wanted him to be happy.

That was all. That was Yun Haea’s reason.

“Sigh...”

“Why the sigh?”

“Oh, you scared me! You could at least say something when you came.”

She had felt a chill around her and a large shadow had fallen over her. It was the shadow of Ha Jaeha, standing as tall as a tree.

“I called you, but you didn’t answer. What’s going on in that tiny head of yours?”

A large hand pressed gently on her crown. It didn’t feel like he was forcing her down; it was more like he was placing his hand there, as if measuring her height. Still, Haea cried out of habit.

“Stop it! You’re making me shorter!”

“You’re already full grown. Your posture is good, so you probably won’t grow any more even with posture correction.”

“It’s because you’ve been pressing down on me since we were children! Always looking down from above made me like this.”

“Your height is average. Exactly 160 cm, not a millimeter off.”

“Talking down to me like that doesn’t make me feel grateful at all.”

“Then how about this?”

He suddenly bent his knees to her eye level. Up close, she caught a faint whiff of his cologne. It was the same scent she had smelled when she had intruded on his room, wafting through the door after his shower.

She thought they were having a normal conversation, but the scent overwhelmed her and made her dizzy. It wasn’t just a simple body odor; it felt like a pheromone from deep inside him, invading her mind. Her knees wobbled and she involuntarily stepped back.

“Why… why did you do that?”

“What?”

Gasp. As she inhaled the breath she had been holding, the thick, moist musk filled her lungs. Her mind became foggy and her eyes burned. Although it was from the heat on her face, she couldn’t understand why her heart was pounding so hard.

“Why… haven’t you contacted me? For several days.”

She couldn’t bear to look at his face any longer and turned away. The shadow beside her stretched as he straightened his bent knees. The blazing summer sun made her head throbbing. She struggled to catch her breath and tried to remember if she had taken her beta blocker properly.

“I’ve been waiting. For you to come to me.”

His voice felt teasing and somewhat sinister. Like a rough, w*t, sap-soaked tree trunk, his hand tapped her shoulder very slowly.

“I want you to spread it yourself.”

His hand, which had slipped down, gently rubbed the hollow of her collarbone. His hand hovered precariously over her br*ast, making her uneasy. If he had done something first, or made his intentions clear, she could have pretended to resist and accepted it, but he did nothing of the sort.

Even in the blazing sunlight, his pupils were a deep black. His eyes, where the difference between pupil and iris was almost non-existent, bored into her without blinking.

It was clear that he wouldn’t listen unless she said it herself.

?If you want to feel good and cl*max like that again, come to me.?

Even though he had said it first.

Haea, who had unconsciously upset him, suddenly lifted her head. She vaguely felt that something had to change now.

She had many fears. She was also very timid and soft-hearted by nature. She wasn’t very assertive. Usually it was Jaeha who suggested things. But he had said that he wouldn’t say anything first, and if she really wanted it, she would have to take the initiative.

“If I want it… you said I should come to you.”

“State the object clearly.”

He raised his eyebrows as if to say, how could he understand when she spoke like that? She was momentarily mesmerized by his shameless display. She couldn’t tell if he meant it or not.

But it didn’t matter. Even if she hovered right under the goalpost, if the ball did not go in, it was still zero points.

“To feel good and cl*max.”

She blushed as soon as she said it, but her pronunciation was clear and firm. Her eyes, which had belatedly begun to water, turned red as if they were about to burst into tears.

“Ha.“

His long fingers gripped her shoulders tightly, pulling them close enough that their ch*sts almost touched. He chuckled as he took a deep breath, reaching a point of laughter.

“You can call me a cowardly b*stard.”

“W-what…?”

“That face is pretty, Haea.”

Those eyes resembled the languid expression of a person at the height of their org*sm.

* * *