Childhood Friend Edification Theory - CHAPTER 1.7

01.Childhood friends – Part 7

Haea had often dreamed of that day. It was a day deeply etched in her mind, a day when she thought she might die. A terrible dream or nightmare. That should be the name of a day overshadowed by death. But Haea did not call it that.

“Sob… I’m sorry, sorry… Jaeha…”

A sad and yet nostalgic dream. A dream in which she repeated apologies she never really wanted to make, calling his name over and over again while crying alone. Sometimes she would cry for real, and her pillow would be sadly wet. Even her voice when she woke up was tinged with sobs.

“Haa...”

Haea woke up and rubbed her eyes then habitually pressed her fingers to the corners of her eyes. Her eyes felt hot and her fingers were cool in comparison.

When Haea saw Jaeha for the first time, he was so beautiful. More beautiful than the porcelain doll her father had brought back from a business trip. Haea, who treated that doll like a younger sibling until she lost it, soon met Jaeha and fell in love with him. 

She hoped that he would become her younger brother and hovered around him. Later, she found out that he was a year older than her, but persistently continued to call his name. Her parents broke into a cold sweat when they saw their usually shy and delicate daughter acting so uncharacteristically bold.

But Haea was deceived by Jaeha.

She thought he was a porcelain doll, but he turned out to be a beast that was only lovely when young. His growth was so rapid that by the time he reached middle school, he was already two heads taller than Haea.

His cheeks had shed their baby fat, leaving sharp, chiseled features. His deep-set, shadowed eyes were sharp as blades. His uniquely bored and arrogant gaze, combined with his suddenly muscular frame, made him look like a lounging predator.

Haea was so shocked by his appearance that she had many sleepless nights. She dreamt of a mountain-sized Jaeha pressing down on her, of becoming a kitten moving around while he bit her neck, and of becoming a leaf on one of his branches while he turned into a giant tree.

They were all nightmares!

?This is unfair! I was deceived! You tricked me!?

One day in the past, Haea, an elementary school student, ran up to Jaeha, who was wearing a middle school uniform, and exploded in anger. He was already well over 180 cm tall, and as she rushed at him, he caught her and lightly placed the basketball he was holding on her head.

?Yes, you were deceived.?

He laughed heartily, his face as bright as the sun that day, when he saw Haea, who couldn’t even reach his height with the basketball on her head. Under a cherry blossom tree in full bloom, her hair covered in pale pink petals, the girl who had rushed towards him couldn’t bring herself to stay angry and closed her mouth tightly.

No matter how fierce the wind blew and how many petals it attached to her hair over and over again, there was no way to stop the gentle hands from brushing them away. His warm touch, softly combing her neat brown hair, reassured Haea immensely.

Ha Jaeha could never be a ‘threat’ to Yun Haea. He was a calm lake and a clear blue sky. He was an essential constant in Haea’s life, always there. That was her belief. That was their relationship.

“Ugh! This is crazy! Crazy!”

Haea, remembering her childhood, thrashed on her bed. It had been four days. She had been locked in her room, pacing frantically. Her parents, who generously thought their daughter was just lazing around on holiday, would soon notice something unusual.

“Still, they could never imagine… that I did that with Jaeha…”

She still couldn’t understand what possessed her to do something so daring. She must have been bewitched. Bewitched by an evil person. Yes, bewitched by that evil Ha Jaeha.

That was the only way to describe the Jaeha she saw that day. It was hard to imagine that he was not good at something, but to be so good at it was unnecessary.

At first, he seemed a bit flustered, but at some point, she lost her mind. After crying and struggling, as if resigned to the futility of life, she remained still wherever he touched her.

And the way he spoke! Saying things like f*cking and whatnot! What was that all about?

“When did I ever say that I wanted to f-f*ck him… ahhhhh! But I did!”

As the memory of Jaeha bobbing his head up and down while biting her cl*toris came back, and Haea’s face turned red.

“F-f*ck-ing… Ugh! Why does he say such things!”

It was all the more shocking because she had never heard Jaeha use such vulgar language before. Haea, who was lying face down on the bed stamping her feet, looked up and searched for her mobile phone.

“And now he won’t even contact me!”

That was the astonishing part. Ha Jaeha hadn’t contacted her for three whole days. Was that even possible? Between the two of them.

“What… what are we? We did that… we can’t just be friends anymore…”

Haea, who was shaking her phone as if it was Jaeha’s collar, stopped moving. Both Jaeha and Haea used to think that if they didn’t contact each other for more than a day, it was like a thorn in their hand. But now something felt wrong. Haea was embarrassed to contact him right after what happened. But what about Jaeha? Did Jaeha feel the same?

If so, how long would they stay out of touch? What would happen if their daily communication stopped?

Haea and Jaeha never had a typical fight. Haea was a gentle child who never asked for anything, even if she wanted it, and there was nothing Jaeha appreciated so much that he couldn’t give it to Haea.

“Jaeha always adapted to me…”

Nothing in this world is a given. Haea tried hard not to take anything for granted. She was always grateful. But just because she was grateful, it didn’t mean that the consideration she received disappeared.

She couldn’t remember exactly when it started. From the ‘first moment’ she could remember, their relationship had been like that. Haea stayed quiet, and the quick-witted Jaeha always found out what she wanted and gave it to her.

Everything she wanted came into her hands. Haea was like a plant in a terrarium, carefully protected by Jaeha. She eagerly accepted it like a fox hanging onto its prey with its mouth wide open. Unconsciously, she had been used to it for a long time.

“Even now I’m waiting for you to understand my feelings and reach out to me first. But you… have you ever done that?”

Waiting for him to come rather than approaching him.

If Jaeha, who always took bold steps forward, stopped coming to her, what would happen to them? What if Haea stayed where she was and Jaeha did the same? What would become of them?

Haea suddenly felt as if the hem of his clothes she had been holding on to were receding, like a constellation. She clutched her phone tightly.

“I need to go first…”

Buzz!

“H-hello!”

?Yun Haea??

It wasn’t Jaeha’s voice. Shocked by the unfamiliar male voice, Haea pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at the screen.

?Hello? Yun Haea??