Side Story 1 (9)

Barca cursed at himself at the sight of Iz breathing hard, exhaling breath that reached her chin. Stupid. Then, what will he do if Iz runs away from him again?

Even though he knew with his head that he should push her, his body wouldn’t follow.


Barca, who gathered the last remaining reason, tapped Iz and turned his head. Looking at her exhaling with a flushed face, he thought he would do something irreversible. It was when he was about to raise his body, which was rolling on the bed with Iz.

“Why? Are you still sick?”


Still sick. What does that mean? At Iz’s words, Barca noticed that Iz’s gaze was directed below him, to be precise, at the area between his legs. He followed her gaze and looked down, swallowing his groan. It was because his lower body stood tall as instinctively.

Iz said again, pointing to his standing upright body, as if it would tear the thin fabric of his lightly-dressed clothes at any moment.

“Isn’t this pain?”

Oh, my God.

Hearing Iz’s question in an innocent voice, Barca closed his eyes, resenting the poor God. That’s the problem… but how do he explain that it’s a little different from being sick. Or rather, does he really need to explain this?

“It’s not like that, no, it hurts, but…”

When Barca didn’t know what to say and kept talking nonsense, Iz put on a more worried expression and patted it with her hand. Even so, it was extremely sensitive, and when Iz touched it, it grew to its limit and soared. Barca bowed his head.

God, I really don’t think this is right.

When Barca couldn’t raise his head, Iz hugged his arm and said, “I-is there anything I can help you with?”

“…you can help me.”

Iz’s face brightened at Barca’s answer. The fact that she could be of his help seemed to be just pleasant.

“But then you’ll be sick.”

Barca said so and swept Iz’s hair hanging. He remembered the time he spent the night with Iz. Even when he hugged her almost every day, Iz used to struggle. When he fulfilled his desires without caring about Iz, she burst into tears several times and begged him to stop.

But now he didn’t want to see Iz cry in pain anymore.

‘If not he’ll die.’

He’d rather cut his own c*ck than make Iz cry. As Barca smiled bitterly and tried to kiss Iz’s forehead, she looked up and said.

“It’s okay. I’m good at enduring pain.”


“Really. You can hit me and I won’t cry or groan.”

In Iz’s answer, Barca could tell when she remembered to give this answer. It is the story of when she was a maid of Princess Eloise in Delane. When Barca couldn’t say anything, Iz carefully looked at him and said.

“Or will you hit me with a whip? Does it hurt more than that?”

“It’s not like that, but…”

“Then it’s alright. So let me help you.”

“Why do you want to help me?”

Barca, who was listening to Iz, asked. He knows that Iz has been following her lately. However, he knew that it was a feeling toward a stranger who gave her food and a little help. He is still a stranger to her.

Iz is nice. When people around her suffer, she readily helps even if she is having a hard time. But Barca didn’t want that kind of favor. It was better to throw scorn knowing that it was him.


Iz hesitated to answer Barca’s question, then closed her eyes tightly and answered.

“I… I like you. So I hope you don’t get sick.”

Barca’s eyes grew at the sudden confession. This has happened a long time ago. When he wore a false mask and treated her with a smile to deceive Iz, Iz confessed her love to him so easily. At that time, he laughed at the heart that Iz gave him because it was the most useless thing in the world. And when he lost the heart she gave then, he thought he would never be able to regain Iz’s heart he received at that time again.

But now Iz tried to give her heart to him again.

“…you hate me.”

“I like you.”

At the end of Barca’s words, Iz shook her head and answered quickly. Barca smiled bitterly at the answer without any hesitation.

“You… fear and hate me. When your memory comes back, you will probably try to run away, not wanting to see me again.”

“I’m not scared.”

“Lies. You were scared.”

“It was like that at first…”

Certainly she was scared at first. Even when he was in the same space, she kept wanting to run away and scream. As she got used to the others, she strangely continued to be afraid.

Iz clearly remembered when she had changed her mind. On a night when she was suffering from a fever and could hardly raise her heavy body, in a quiet room, he sat next to her until morning and continued to change the wet towel that had been placed on her body.

Iz thought there would be no one next to her. Did he always do that? She was the one who didn’t have a room in the corner of the palace, no visitors, no one cared about her. But this person was always with Iz whenever she opened her eyes.

A person who is always by her side. Didn’t she always want someone like that?

“…. I like you now.” 

Iz answered in a low voice and kissed Barca on the cheek. At that moment, Barca realized that he couldn’t take it anymore.


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