Christa looked at her hands; she, too, had stained them with blood in the past. How she had felt then.

It wasn’t something she’d ever wanted to do, so it was natural to know the true meaning of his eyes.

She knew the emotion in those eyes. It was an emotion that still lingered in her mind, replayed in her nightmares every night.

It was regret. It was the look of a man who had spent his entire life living with regret. It’s the look of someone who has lived with regret all his life, boiling and simmering in his heart, burning it to a crisp.

The man she loved had those eyes, and it broke her heart.

Until now, Christa had always thought of Ragnar and herself as far apart.

She’d always thought of him as a sunbeam, a man who lived his life in bright light. But the stronger the light, the deeper the shadow.

In that moment, she felt a deep sense of identification with him. At the same time, she was afraid. She didn’t know if she dared to feel this way.

It seemed so arrogant to think that she could fully understand someone.

But at this moment, she, and only she, could understand him.

And she knew it instinctively. She knew instinctively that if she didn’t understand him now, she would never be able to bridge the gap between them again.

So, she thought, she needs to touch that shoulder now. All she could think of was to take that poor shoulder in her arms. Actions spoke louder than any words right now.

Christa reached out slowly. Just as Ragnar had shared his warmth with her earlier that day, she took his hand.

She didn’t know what to say; she’d never comforted anyone before, never been in this situation before; she wasn’t used to this.

She had to do what she knew how to do. Creation blooms in the midst of terrible imitation, and she could only mimic what he had done for her.

Slowly, she stroked her fingertips up his cheek. Like she was holding something truly precious, like she was handling a piece of glass that was about to shatter.

Her touch slowly swept across his cheeks and lashes. His golden eyes followed her fingertips as she touched the long lashes that tickled her fingertips.

“Aren’t you afraid of me?”

Christa shook her head slowly. For this moment, she believed he understood, and the thought emboldened her to act.

Words before thoughts, actions before words. Sometimes on the battlefield, such instinctive feelings were necessary.

This wasn’t a battlefield, but it was what she needed right now. She took a deep breath.

“I don’t know what’s difficult, but I do know that Ragnar is not the kind of person to do it.”

“…….”

She wanted to comfort him, to visit him in those days, if fate would allow, and comfort his poor soul.

“So for now, raise your head and look at me.”

He let out a breath that sounded like a sigh. Slowly, their faces came closer. All they could see was each other’s eyes. So close that they could feel the fuzz on their cheeks from their inhales and exhales.

It was Christa who took the first step. After a few hesitations, their lips touched. There was a slight static electricity, a tingling sensation that tickled her skin and sent chills down her spine.

One kiss, then two. Soon she felt his hot breath on her. Suddenly, his stony expression seems to loosen, if only slightly.

Lips and tongues slapped together, making the sound of wetness. The kiss continued. Unlike the first, which was cautious, this one was insistent and passionate. Breathing heavily, she searched his face.

His lips, glistening with her saliva, were obscene. His eyes, beneath dark lashes, were even darker. Nervous and tense. Christa slowly reached out and tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear.

That act served as a signal, and now they lunged for each other, no one to say who came first. Ragnar’s eyes sparkled with a familiar fire, and her heart leapt into her throat.

She was overcome with an incredible sense of accomplishment. She felt completely in control of her emotions. It was an unfamiliar sensation. A tingling sensation of exaltation tickled her flesh, making the area between her legs tingle and heat up.

She reached out and buried her face in the firmness of his chest. She felt his heart beat louder than usual, and she could feel his lips on the top of her head. She slowly traced the rise and fall of his ribcage.

His breathtaking scent made her dizzy, and a ravenous hunger washed over her. She wanted him now. Her white hand came up to rest on his dark, tanned skin, contrasting sharply.

“Christa…….”

His voice was muffled. The mere sound of his pleading voice now sends a reflexive shiver down her spine.

Ragnar’s throat twitches as he swallows dryly. She had always had the urge to sink her teeth into it, but she usually tried to ignore it. She couldn’t trust herself.

She opened her tightly closed lips and lightly licked the spot where his carotid artery passed. His pulse quickened on the tip of her tongue, and his vocal cords made a soft purring sound, like the purr of a cat or a beast. She repeat the gentle kiss, teasing the nape of his neck, and this time her lips come up to meet his again.

Slowly, he bites and releases his lower lip, and eventually his tongue slips between her loose lips, the slow movement building heat.

His breathing gradually slowed, his sighs piercing her ears. Her head was dizzy; the offense had shifted.

The gentle way he held her felt like he was soothing and comforting a child.

There had been countless times they’d mixed their bodies, but today they were shy, as if this was the first time they’d seen each other.

“Hah…….”

Hot breath touches her. She blinks several times as her downy hair stands on end with a burning sensation. Tears well up in her eyes due to the heat. His lips pass by her tear-streaked eyes. Like wounded animals, they comforted each other, licking each other’s scars for the long duration of the summer night’s torrential rain.

***

Christa wandered through the endless white snow again. In the distance, someone called out to her. Now she didn’t have to look to know who it was. The lion cub she had seen once before was now a full-grown man.

She stretched out her hand, and he leaped to greet her. Her steps are light, like a puppy’s first steps in the snow. She opens her arms wide in welcome. His eyes are hot.

As she hugs him, he smells good. Summer smells like sunshine. He smells fresh, like a springtime bud, and he smells like a baby that has been weaned.

No one had ever made her feel so welcome before. The stranger’s unfamiliarity is first curious, then endearing. Every time she turns away from him, even for a moment, her eyes fill with tears as she watches his every move.

It’s so soft and pleasant to feel him digging into my arms, making purring noises, and he’s constantly begging to be held.

She doesn’t know how to describe this sensation. He was so close to her, and she couldn’t stop looking at him. She was so impatient that tears fell from her eyes.

Then she blinked, and her eyes met his. The beautiful amber color was like a jewel. She blinked again. She yawned and stretched to see if sleep would come.

When he sees that she doesn’t mind his scanty embrace, he sticks his cute head in and keeps cuddling up to her, and before she knows it, he’s asleep on her lap.

She strokes his fluffy fur to keep him asleep, and before she knows it, she too is fast asleep.

Slowly, she opens her eyes to find Ragnar’s firm chest against hers, and she realizes she’s had the same dream again.

It was rare for her to have back-to-back dreams that weren’t nightmares. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

Then Ragnar rolled over and wrapped his arms around her waist. The distance between them closed in an instant, and she could feel the heat of his body and his breath.

She buries her face in his chest and nuzzles. The sound of his heartbeat is so lovely today. She could listen to it all day if time permitted.

“Mmm…….”

It was then that she heard a voice echoing in his rib cage.

Wondering if she had woken him up, she quickly feigned sleep. She closed her eyes and pretended to catch her breath. Her cheeks tingled.

She cracks open her eyes and lock eyes with his golden ones.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Oh, yeah…….”

Feeling as if she’s been caught in an embarrassing scene, she ducks her head again and snuggle into his chest. This time, she feels a hand stroking her back and her cheeks heat up.