* * *

Christa was out in the garden early in the morning, watering the roses. It was a routine she never missed, and it was the right time of year for the roses to bloom, with lots of buds popping up. Just a few more days and they would be in full bloom, Christa thought to herself.

She slipped her hand into her pocket and felt a cold touch. She fiddled with it in her pocket for a moment before pulling it out. She didn’t want to wear it again, but she didn’t want to throw it away.

She took it out and clenched and unclenched her fist over and over again. The green gem flickered in and out of her vision.

Christa closed and opened her eyes. It was time to organize her thoughts that had been cluttering her mind lately.

In her previous life, her memories were mostly a hazy blur. In the first place, the person known as Christa Palmaril had no taste for life.

The only times she remembered anything was when she experienced an intense stimulus. They were usually violent. Her entire life had been consumed by pain, and she was preoccupied with escaping or forgetting it.

‘But I have to remember.’

The only thing she remembered from her previous life was that he was going to die. Roughly three years from now, so she had to believe it wasn’t yet.

Now that she was here, she knew that the Empire and the North had been at odds for a long time. In fact, she could tell by Ragnar’s reaction: he hated the Imperial family to a fault.

There must have been a reason for that. She needed to know what had sparked the conflict between the two factions, so she could deduce why the Imperials had launched an all-out assault on the North.

Soon, the House of Argonod would become extinct. And with that, the great family that led the North would be gone. At the time, it had seemed like a small thing to her. But it was no longer trivial.

Ragnar dies.

Sweat trickles down her back. She can’t believe she’s forgotten something so momentous. No, she hadn’t forgotten. She was aware of it, but she had simply pushed it to the back of her mind.

She was so focused on ending this insignificant life that she couldn’t see anything else. But now things had changed. She could no longer ignore it, so she had to do something about it.

She tried to pull together what little information she had left in her mind. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t come up with anything useful.

Then she had to shift her thinking.

“Why would the crown prince come here?”

Finding out why he came to the North might shed some light on his intentions. She doesn’t know, and she has no way of knowing, if Prince Elio has been here before at this time of year.

But if she can discover his intentions for coming to the North, she may be able to prevent something from happening in the future.

Her hand that clenched into a fist tensed. The angular greenstone digs into her palm, causing her pain. When she opens her hand again, the flash of light makes her dizzy.

Prince Elio Cassidenia. A formidable man, and one who stirred a fundamental fear in her.

But she had to, because—

“The future can change.”

A lesson she’d learned firsthand, a hope she’d harbored since learning it.

“I can change it.”

She can change the future with her hands. She doesn’t know what she can do right now, but at least she can do something.

There had always been an empty place in her heart. There was a hole in her heart that had nothing to fill, and she was living in a state of emptiness. She might as well be living to die.

Death didn’t scare her, because she had nothing to lose. The line between the living and the dead had always been blurred for her; she couldn’t tell the difference. For her, life and death were so close.

Maybe that’s why she found it so stimulating. It felt good to destroy, which was probably why she stayed on the battlefield for so long, because it made her feel alive, and it gave her pleasure. Once she unleashed her urges, she felt alive for a moment.

The battlefield was like that. It was a place of kill or be killed. It was a place of simple black and white logic, where all she had to do was follow orders. She doesn’t have to think, she doesn’t have to judge, and her painful reality takes a back seat. Violence and letting loose were so much fun.

But it’s definitely not the same now, and if there’s one thing that’s different, it’s the anxiety and fear. Even making a decision was not easy.

There was only one reason for this fear. Unlike before, she has a lot to lose.

Before, it didn’t matter who was around her. They were more like inorganic objects, like stones rolling on the ground. They were things she could do without.

But now she doesn’t. She had learned how warm and welcoming human warmth can be. It was hard to let go of something once you knew it.

Other people’s lives matter. Not just Ragnar, but everyone she interacted with was special. They were no longer just the air or the stones that surrounded her.

Christa circled the garden. The silvery-white buds would soon be in full bloom, showing off their beauty. There was so much potential in this single flower. She brushed her fingertips across it. Its soft texture wrapped around her hand.

On the ground, she could see the flowers she had tended. She’d tended them with care, not missing a single one. All grown by her. It’s really lovely.

Not only flowers. Since coming to the north, she has met many people, made friends for the first time and received a lot of help. They were different from the people she had met before. They all wrapped their arms around her.

Hilda and Annette, who took care of her at a distance, Mrs. Tatiana, who always treated her with warmth, and many other people who used to live here. Margrethe and Ivar, Joachim and Olaf, the knights of the North, and the lords of the North. Everyone she met was warm.

And most of all, Ragnar, who had made her feel what it was like to love someone for the first time.

All of them were lovely, and she couldn’t miss any of them. She would do anything to ensure their fate was in her hands.

“So I must find out.”

First, she has to find out why the crown prince had come to the north. Then she has to meet him and find out what he meant.

The thought of meeting him made her hands shake. But it has to be done. Christa clenched her fists once more, hardening her resolve.

“I will meet with the crown prince and talk to him.”

If she could find out why he had come to the North, it would help her infer the future. It wouldn’t be easy, of course. But she couldn’t stand still.

“He said he’d definitely see me again…….”

He disappeared, leaving her with a last-minute request to see him again. There would be no lie in those words.

A chill ran down her spine. But there were no more thoughts to clutter her mind.

“I have to meet him…….”

With that thought, she stood up. She felt a surge of strength. But where? Where to meet him?

Just then, the ring in her hand gave off a small heat. She stared at it, frightened. The ring slowly glowed a green, firefly-like color.

“Is this……?”

Christa shook her head, and the light from the ring was now a pulsating shape. It flickered a few times, then moved, leaving an afterimage.

Wait for me where we met.

Christa blinked. This was a magical message. It was clearly addressed to her. She clutched the ring tightly.

The only problem was how to get out of the castle alone. If she went out, she’d make too much noise for an escort like last time.

It was better to sneak out, then. But Hilda and Annette were always around, so she would have to get past them first.

“……Umm, I’d like to be alone this afternoon, and I don’t need a meal.”

Hilda shakes her head.

“Are you not feeling well?”

Annette asks worriedly.

“What should I do when the doctor isn’t here?”

Dr. Kenneth is currently on a medical mission to a village that has been hit hard by demons. He had a lot of work to do with the injured. They hadn’t seen him in weeks.

Judging by their worried faces, she’s going to have to lie more.

“I’m not sick, but sometimes I like to be alone with my thoughts.”

Hilda and Annette looked into each other’s faces, as if they wanted to say something.

“I usually like to meditate alone. But lately, I haven’t been able to find the time.”

She tried to even looked annoyed.

“That……. If that’s what you want…….”

She couldn’t bring herself to look them in the face with her heart aching, but she pushed on.

“I would really like to be left alone. Preferably, I don’t want anyone to disturb me.”

That drove the final wedge. It was the first time Christa had ever been so assertive, and the maids couldn’t say anything more, so they agreed.

“Oh, well, in that case…… okay, and if you need anything, just pull the strings.”

“I will.”

She reassured them with a flimsy lie and headed out the door. She must not be caught.