CHAPTER 48

Meow. Meow.

Since the time I left and went to my sister’s house, Cielo has become more affectionate. Today as well, Ciel used all sorts of tricks to catch my eye, making cute gestures and rubbing against my legs while I studied my spellbook.

“Ciel, I’m a busy deputy. I need to study and work.” 

Meow.

Ciel looked at me with sparkling eyes. In response to the playful gaze, I lifted the little fellow onto my lap. I stroked its smooth black fur and continued reading my spellbook, passing the time.

“Why do you keep staring at me like that?” 

Kkiing.

How wonderful it would be to converse with animals, but that was impossible. Even amid magic, I couldn’t communicate with animals.

“Why is that? Are you curious? Jealous? I’m busy learning spells.”

Originally, wind magic was my major focus, but I felt it was insufficient on its own. Therefore, I considered the fire magic that Aiden and Jaden taught me. I concentrated hard and attempted fire magic a little while ago, but I couldn’t control it, and the flames blazed uncontrollably. I nearly singed Jenny’s hair, who was by my side at the time.

That day, I kept apologizing to Jenny. I apologized by giving her a few minutes of my cheeks. Jenny, her expression softened as she patted my cheeks, then distanced herself and started knitting as I opened my spell book.

Sneaking a look back at Jenny, I grabbed the fishing rod with the doll attached and moved it. As the fish-shaped doll at the end of the fishing rod moved, Ciel smoothly descended from my lap.

The one who had only moved its head and eyes suddenly dashed toward the fish as if it had been preheated to some extent. After a few sways of my hand, I called Jenny.

“Jenny, play with Ciel.”

“Ciel didn’t react when I shook the fishing rod before, but want to give it a try?” 

Jenny, who had shaken the fishing rod a few times as an experiment before, had a mischievous expression. Jenny received the fishing rod from me and shook it. Ciel, who had just moments ago enthusiastically rushed towards the fish-shaped doll, froze like a broken toy.

“Oh dear, what should I do about this?”

“Well, you need to coax it. Probably full from eating earlier.”

Giving me a look that seemed to question if I was discriminating against them, I stopped talking and focused on my spellbook. Then, perhaps realizing its mistake, Ciel responded to Jenny’s shaking fishing rod.

“Oh my, it looks like Ciel has finally warmed up to me. Look at this. Hehehe.”

I knew that it wasn’t about opening its heart but rather about not going hungry, but I didn’t bother to correct it. Smiling and nodding, I reached out my hands almost instinctively as if I sensed something while reading my spellbook.

Seeing my gesture, Jenny immediately stepped back as if she had encountered a defensive spell, and Ciel had already darted away to a safe distance.

“Fire!”

Following what was written in the spellbook, I scraped off and squeezed the mana in my body, and shouted the activation word. But what’s this?

A faint flame briefly emerged from my hand before disappearing, leaving only a wispy smoke. Even that smoke vanished into the air.

“Wow, you’re amazing, Miss. Just now, there was a burst of flames. Isn’t that something most people can’t achieve even after studying for decades?”

Jenny’s words were true. People without innate magical talent couldn’t even conjure a single spark through theoretical knowledge alone. But I used to be a magician by profession. Thus, Jenny’s words didn’t quite console me.

“Hee-yoo, I should talk to Grandfather about this.”

The Tigris family, one of the two major magical families in this country, were distant relatives due to marriage, and I wanted to go there to study their magic. Of course, the probability of my Father easily granting permission was quite low. Moreover, these days, his expression remained stiff as if something was bothering him.

I asked what was wrong, but my Father didn’t say a word; he just offered a faint smile. He held me in his arms, affectionately stroking me so gently that it seemed like he was trying to comfort me.

“You have to hit rock bottom to bounce back, so go and talk to the Duke. And don’t forget to take me with you. You should pack ahead of time… Ah…”

This time, Jenny attempted to ignite the determination to follow me but ended up flickering out. She sighed.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“Well, I realized that the day after tomorrow is the Duchess’ birthday.”

It hadn’t been many months since I came here. During that time, I had been focused solely on the future and hadn’t paid much attention to the affairs of Duke Panteur’s family. And as a young child, no one was forcing such things on me.

“I see. Hm, I guess I won’t be going to grandfather’s.”

As the late daughter of Duke Tigris, Duchess Panteur probably wouldn’t be pleased with my presence there. The same would go for Duke Aquila since I also had a sister who was fond of her mother.

In conclusion, staying in this room like a mouse might be the best option. I sat quietly, looking at my spellbook. I couldn’t focus on the fact that Duchess Panteur’s birthday was approaching.

As I struggled to read properly and just flipped through the pages, Ciel came over and jumped onto the book. Seeing the stubborn look as if it was asking me to pay attention to it rather than study, I shook my head.

“Hee-yoo, you can’t help it. Stay there. Behave.”

Just holding onto the book wouldn’t make the magic work properly, especially when I wasn’t even able to concentrate on studying. I was the first to be knocked down, thanks to Ciel’s insistence on playing with me.

“As expected, a magician’s heart is kind.”

Yet, considering my job didn’t leave enough time for physical training, I convinced myself it couldn’t be helped. When I was learning magic in the Benedict Empire, even my older brother Lancelot suggested I try running, but I declined.

Recalling the time I spent in the Benedict Empire, I let out a sigh inwardly. What was the point of dwelling on the past? It only brings pain to my heart.

Though not my blood, I had become a beloved member of this place. Even though everyone knew I wasn’t of their lineage, they were doing everything for me that they had been unable to do for the Duchess Panteur.

Without a single shred of doubt, everyone let things slide. Even though I didn’t know the letters of this place and stumbled while reading aloud, they simply brushed it off. If they had questioned me, I might have stumbled or stuttered.

“Jenny, can I ask you something? What it’s like that I resemble Duchess Panteur”

“Yes!”

After playing with Ciel and exhausting my energy, I lay down on the sofa and asked Jenny. Without any hesitation, she immediately responded. 

“The Duke brought you in, who looked like a soft sticky rice cake, and I suddenly burst into tears without even realizing it. You resemble the Duchess so much that I can’t put into words the emotions that rush in, like a hook catching onto me…”

I wonder if I shouldn’t have asked.

Jenny only asked one question, but she gave me more than ten answers. She recounted every aspect of Duchess Panteur that I had experienced. And then she fell silent. There was no way she wouldn’t know that the last part was about Duchess Panteur’s death.

“Is her room still around? I want to see.”

“It’s still here. But you can’t just go in there. Since the Duchess passed away, the Duke locked the door.”

It pained my heart too much as if closing off their feelings. Was the Duchess’s room locked up for good? It wasn’t my place to forcefully open that locked door. I didn’t have the right yet.

Two quiet days went by, and as morning came, I quickly got up from the bed and stretched with a yawn.

“Ah, I’m so tired.”

As I yawned and stretched, I noticed Ciel opening its mouth wide and yawning next to me.

“Ciel, good morning.”

Meow.

Ciel came into my arms, but it didn’t stay for long before it had to get down. 

“Let’s go have breakfast with Father.”

“Meow.”

Entering the room, my Father picked me up and hugged me tightly before heading to the dining room. He usually sliced the meat and fed it to me, but this time, he lowered the utensils without eating much himself, seemingly lost in thought.

“Father, eat something.”

“Huh? Nah, not hungry today. Just not feeling like it.”

Seeing his already half-finished plate, I speared a piece of steak with a fork and brought it to his mouth.

“If Father doesn’t eat, maybe Duchess Seraphina would be sad in heaven.”

“Hmm? Ah, right. Seraphina used to feed me sticky rice cakes whenever I skipped meals, insisting that a full stomach leads to clearer thinking.”

My Father ate reluctantly as I fed him and gave me a faint smile. Then, he lifted me and headed somewhere, holding me in his arms. Although I hadn’t explored all of Panteur’s Mansion, going to unfamiliar places with my Father felt quite strange.

Walking down a corridor I had never seen before, my Father suddenly stopped and took a deep breath. The weight of his heavy exhale brushed against my hair.

He stared at the firmly closed door for a moment, then took something out of his pocket. Retrieving a silver key, he inserted it into a small hole and turned it.

Clank-

Upon hearing the dull metallic sound, my Father clenched and released his fist repeatedly while biting his lip. With an air of tension, he cautiously opened the door. Squeak-

The sound, indicative of a door not used for a long time, made my body involuntarily twitch. The sharp noise of rusty hinges ceased, and the world seemed to freeze as everything remained suspended in place, revealing the scene before me.

“This place… is her room. The room where I loved her, yet couldn’t say those words, and had to let her go in vain.”

My Father’s voice, suppressing his emotions as much as possible, made me swallow a dry lump in my throat as I surveyed the surroundings. Noble lords’ chambers were usually opulent and luxurious.

However, this room was simple. Alongside basic furnishings, there were a few swords hung on the walls, possibly a reflection of her background as a knight. As I observed the room, which seemed to reflect her usual personality, my gaze landed on a wall, and I froze.

“See, this is my beloved. This is a painting when she was eighteen.”

“…….”

I was at a loss for words. It felt like this couldn’t be real. The image of Duchess Panteur in the painting looked exactly like mine, with the background and clothes being the only differences.

Before I came of age, my older brother had arranged for me to leave the magic tower and go to the palace to paint a portrait. I never dreamed that my portrait would exist here, only with different clothes and backgrounds.

“Father, it’s surreal.”

“Isn’t it? When our Rafi turns eighteen, that’s how she’ll look.” 

It was almost as if there was another version of me living here who had married Duke Panteur. The thought sent shivers down my spine, and I trembled involuntarily.

Knock, knock, knock-

“Duke, I have urgent matters that need your attention. Could you spare a moment?”

Just then, Vance’s voice came as he knocked politely. My Father nodded in response to the serious tone devoid of its usual playfulness and looked at me.

“Father has to work for a moment. Can my Rafi come with me?”

“Just a little bit longer.”

“Okay. I’ll see you later, then.”

Setting me down, my Father left with Vance. Of course, he didn’t forget to open the door so that those outside could see me.

Once my Father left, I carefully walked around the room using my short legs. The room could be described as modest on good terms and inconsequential on harsh terms. As I looked around, I moved toward a small bookshelf.

“Hmm? These books have a different appearance.”

Among the other books, these two had vibrant covers. Seeing the well-worn covers that indicated they had been read often, I reached out my hand. Since they were placed higher up, I used my tiptoes to try to reach them, but it wasn’t enough.

I barely managed to touch the book. I put in all the strength I could muster, even using the memory of sucking on my fingers when I was younger, to pull the book out. It was about halfway out when a familiar sound from behind made me quickly retract my hand.

“Miss, how about coming out now? It’s not well-ventilated here, and it might not be good for your health if you stay too long.”

With Jenny’s words, I reluctantly left the spot.

* * *

As Rafi and Jenny left the room, a knight waiting outside locked the door. As the door closed, there was a slight vibration, and naturally, two books that Rafi had tried to pull out fell from the shelf and opened.

The illustrations in the book depicted objects that didn’t exist in this era.