Eli’s attitude was that even the simple gray dress Belviana wore was too extravagant, too luxurious. Belviana nodded hesitantly. Seeing how innocent she looked, Eli softened her tone.

“I’ll organize what you can and cannot bring upstairs, but please leave your bags here and follow me. I’ll show you to your room.”

The woman picked up a heavy bundle of keys and stood up. After climbing three flights of narrow stone stairs, she emerged into a equally narrow stone hallway. The building had been built centuries ago for the castle’s defense and had been converted into a convent. Eli unlocked the thick wooden door with his key. The hinges creaked as if they hadn’t been used for a while. The room had white stone walls and floors, with a single tiny window to the west. There was a wooden bed, a desk, a thin mattress, and a coat rack on the floor, all old and worn. Eli pulled a key out of her pack and slipped it into Belviana’s hand.

“Morning prayers begin at six in the morning. The bell rings seven times, and you should be out of your room by at least five of those rings, so you won’t be late. Breakfast is at seven-thirty, and you won’t be able to eat if you miss it. Three times a week we have to go out to the almshouse and help people, and every afternoon from two to six is catechism time. Dinner is after prayer at eight o’clock.”

“…….”

“You’ll have to save your towel, because you’ll only get your daily necessities once a month, so you can rest now. You’ll be busy starting tomorrow.”

Eli lit the half-melted candle and hurried out of the room. Belviana plopped down on her bed, exhausted. Once she put aside her pessimism about being the unhappiest person in the world, the room was moderately shabby and surprisingly clean. Like the top floor of the Lester mansion she and Aiden stayed in. When she thought about it, she felt a surge of affection for the barren space. The only difference was that Aiden wasn’t there to visit her late at night. Belviana sagged her weary shoulders.

This was the graveyard of the living.

***

A loud pounding on her door woke her up. Apparently, she’d fallen asleep while lying in bed. On the doorstep, where Eli had shoved it during the night, lay the bag that had been taken from her, two well-worn nun’s robes, and a flask of cold water.

Belviana hurriedly tied her hair into a bun. Already the second of the seven bells had begun to ring. She filled a brass basin with water and washed her face in the room. Her black nun’s habit, clean but stiff, was two sizes too big for her. She struggled to tie the ribbon around her waist on her own and barely made it out of the room after the sixth bell.

When Belviana made her way down to the great hall on the first floor, Eli was waiting for her. She raised her eyebrows slightly, as if to reprimand her for being late, but predictably said nothing. Eli took her arm and deftly weaved her way through the crowd. As soon as they entered the great hall, Belviana’s eyes widened in surprise. She hadn’t realized that the convent, which had been so quiet the previous night, could hold so many people. They took the remaining seats in the back. Eli offered her the rosary and Bible she’d been carrying since they’d first met.

“You slept without unpacking last night, so I’m sure it was hard for you to take these with you. Use them today.”

Belviana clumsily tried to say thank you, but the solemn morning prayers soon began. It took two hours, even though the rituals were much simplified from the masses attended by the nobility, and she could barely concentrate. Sitting in the hard, narrow pews for so long was almost an ordeal. The morning prayers were over by the time she began to long for the fluffy bed she’d left behind in Dietrich. She made a quick sign and followed Eli out the door.

“Are we going to eat now?”

“Yes, please follow me.”

They left the great hall and walked down a long corridor. The corridor was dotted with people who seemed to have gotten out first, just like them. They bent down to greet Eli and then hurried past him. Ilya leaned in close and whispered.

“I or the Mother Superior are the only ones who know your identity. You’d better be careful around other people. Did you have a baptismal name?”

“Scarlett.”

“You will use that name in the future. The dining hall is here.”

The dining room was very austere, to say the least. There were long tables and chairs, not unlike the great hall, and a few people lined up to be served. Eli disappeared without so much as a simple goodbye. Belviana waited for her turn and received a tray of coarse bread, mulled soup, and a cup of water.

She was ravenously hungry, having not eaten since last evening, but as soon as she took a spoonful of soup, she pushed it away. The soup, with a few bits of mashed vegetables floating around, was hardly human food by her standards. Belviana barely managed to swallow the bread with water, which rolled around in her mouth like sand, and stood up.

It was a good thing she wasn’t scheduled to go to the almshouse on the first day. She would have to attend catechism at two in the afternoon, but the time before that was somewhat free. The first thing she did was go to the mailroom and write a letter to Bill at the Oljo Inn.

After requesting a generous supply of good quality balm, candles, ink, and quills, she felt a little better. She knew how ridiculous it was to find good quality goods in the midst of all this, but she had been a noblewoman all her life, and it was impossible for even a saint to throw away the privileges she had enjoyed in an instant, or so she believed.

Once she had delivered the letter to the carriage for the village, she felt as if she had accomplished all that needed to be done. Her engagement had been broken off, but the university’s offer to her still stood, and she intended to use the extra time to finish her thesis. Aside from that calculated thought, she desperately missed the library. When you’re in an unfamiliar place, you look for things that are at least a little familiar.

The grounds of the convent were quite large for such a remote location, and after a long search, she found the library at the back of an annex. The exterior was terribly dilapidated, as if it had withstood centuries, but the interior was quite grand.

Wooden shelves lined the walls under a high ceiling. Sunlight streamed in through the dusty windows and was quite cheerful in contrast to the cool air of the library. The room was old and lacking in color, but the smell of ink from the old books was not unlike the study at Lester Manor. She walked slowly into the center of the room, mesmerized. It wasn’t until she took a deep breath that she remembered why she’d missed the books so desperately, why she’d craved this musty smell.

The library was one of the few places she could think of Aiden most intensely. Wherever there were books, there he was.

It was a memory that made her sick just thinking about it now. The face leaning against the shelf, engrossed in a book, the bridge of his nose where the sun’s rays lingered the longest, the flat, broad back, the big hand on the spine of the book……. Even in the moments when she had grown weary of Aiden, Belviana had sometimes watched with fascination as he read in silence. And now she’s falling in love with him all over again. He’s already dead. She can’t be this stupid. Belviana laughed weakly.

“You look like you’re going to cry.”

A woman’s voice suddenly sounded from behind the bookshelf, startling Belviana almost to the point of fainting. There was the sound of slipper-slapping footsteps, and a woman with light brown hair emerged from behind the bookshelf. She was dressed in an apprentice nun’s habit, but it clung to her body in an obscene way. The woman blinked her blue eyes slowly and spoke.

“I’m Mel.”

Belviana guessed she was not a nun. There was no way a clergyman would choose a name that appeared in the Bible as a symbol of the prodigal daughter as my baptismal name.

“I’m Belle……, Scarlett.”

“Bellscarlett?”

“Scarlett.”

“Okay, Scarlett.”

The woman said in a tone that suggested she didn’t really care about her name.

“You must have just arrived, because I’ve never seen you before.”

“I arrived yesterday evening, but who are you?”

Belviana asked, her expression rigid. She was suspicious of the woman’s uncertain demeanor. Mel shrugged her shoulders at Belviana’s defensiveness and continued nonchalantly.

“Like you, I’m one of those people the family would love to get rid of. I must have been here for seven years, since I came of age shortly after.”

“I didn’t think you were a nun…….”

“That’s right, I’ve never been a nun after staying so long, I guess I’m just naturally debauched. Funny, isn’t it, I have the same name.”

The woman crossed her arms under her breasts, showing off her voluptuous curves. Even in her condescending demeanor, there was more boredom than vulgarity. Belviana stammered out a question.