Let’s be honest. Belviana clasped her trembling hands together; she could turn a blind eye to him, but his looks were hard to bear. She clenched her teeth and spat them out.

“You’ve been acting like you don’t know me lately.”

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Then what was I supposed to do? As soon as I told you to……. S, such behavior, I realized I may not be the first…….”

“It’s my first time.”

It was a crisp answer, somewhat out of character for the direction she was trying to take, but Belviana’s mouth dropped open in a dumbfounded way, forgetting to be angry. It wasn’t until later that she realized how weird her expression must have been, and when she tried to correct it, it was too late. Aiden, who had laughed out loud like it was cute, spoke in a more matter-of-fact voice.

“It’s my first time, everything, all of it.”

First time, how could he be so good? Stupidly, that was the first thing I thought when he said it. Quickly, my mind wandered back to the luncheon ten days earlier. There’s no way a guy can be good at it for the first time, the more experienced the better he is, and if it hurts all the way through, there’s something wrong with the guy. These were the secret truths that inexperienced girls often spouted like holy scripture. Aiden’s calm voice cut through the clamor of the young women’s chatter.

“Because I’ve imagined it a hundred times.”

“What…….”

“Holding you.”

He said, jaw set. His golden eyes melted a little deeper as he answered, and the mere fact that he lowered his gaze a little made her salivate. Even with her body covered in a white dress, Aiden was the kind of man who could easily imagine her naked body. He even knew where her tiny moles were and how the scars from her childhood injuries lingered, because he’d seen them all before. He watched her trembling neck curiously, then spoke up.

“Tonight, you make the first move.”

“What the hell am I……, why…….”

He pulled a thin letter from his bosom. The express seal stamped on the outside of the envelope was very familiar to her. It had been mailed from Millton a week ago, and the clumsy handwriting was unmistakably Liam’s. Oh, no. Last time, when she’d picked up the book……. She drew in a quick breath. Aiden leaned back in his chair, crossing one leg.

“Because I have your letter, and I can still thwart your plans, and your firsts should be all mine.”

It was a tricky word. Like a spell, he placed a new constraint each time. First the letter, then the promise to Liam, then Liliette, then the family……. The repeated indoctrination that I had no means of resistance was a blessing in disguise. Because she did have the means to resist, and if she’d realized that for herself, she’d have to suffer from a very deep self-loathing. His voice lowered.

“Tell me to fuck you. I want you to spread your white legs and straddle me. It would be beautiful to see you all the way to the ground like that.”

Her cheeks flushed at the nakedness of his words. Even as he uttered such crude and vulgar words, he was graceful to the end. With those words, he rose from his seat and paused, as if he had suddenly discovered something. His gaze, fixed and unwavering, was far behind her. Just as she was about to ask what he was looking at, he slowly looked down at her. Aiden gently lifted Belviana’s chin between his thumb and forefinger.

“Just say the words, and tonight will be the end, and we don’t have to go any longer.”

“Tonight, really, the last time?”

“Yes. I promise.”

Aiden bent down and gripped the back of the chair she sat in. The cool scent of his body mingled with the breeze. Just when he thought their faces were too close, the tip of their noses brushed and their lips met. His tongue slipped through the gap, skimmed her teeth, found hers, and tangled. In an instant, her pulse was racing. She clung to Aiden, her hands curling around his collar.

Other than at night, he was a man who was expressionless even at passing greetings. Let alone in the broad daylight of the garden. No matter how blind one might be, it was an excessively bold contact. At the moment when her breath became rough, he pulled away his lips and straightened his bent waist. Unlike Belviana, who was blushing and disheveled, his posture was still upright. He quickly stroked her swollen lips and smiled splendidly.

“Come to my room after the evening prayers.”

Aiden’s shadowed eyes were so deep that she couldn’t even guess waht he’s thinking, and even as she distrusted them, she knew he would keep his word. The years had proved it. He had no history of going back on his word.

Suddenly, in a moment of inexplicable regret and some undeniable emotion, Belviana clenched her fists militantly. Southerners had an innate fascination with close calls and moral boundaries, so this was just an extension of her bored whim. Aiden was obviously off limits to her, as was Liam.

With a few crass words, nothing new, Aiden would be out of her life forever, and she could go back to being the girl who was madly in love with Liam. As if she’d never been entangled with him in the first place.

It didn’t matter now that this was all a trap. There was nowhere to go but up. There was only this.

Belviana gave a short nod of her head.

*

Dawn.

After a late prayer, Belviana picked up her candlestick and stepped breathlessly into the eastern hallway. With barely enough light to illuminate her feet, she kept glancing behind her in anxiety. The mansion was eerily silent. Belviana climbed the stairs quickly, barely breathing evenly. When she reached the servants’ quarters, she blew out the candle she was carrying and groped her way along the walls with her fingertips. It was ridiculous to herself that she could find her way so easily in the dark after so many days, but this was the last time she would do it. When she finally reached the door to Aiden’s room, she took a quick breath and pushed it open.

The small room seemed warmer in the dim lantern light than the last time she’d seen it. It was still a shabby room, with only a meager blanket on the worn bed and a single couch tilted up to keep the down from poking through. The only thing that seemed precious in the room was Aiden himself, asleep with his head buried in his desk. Belviana closed the door carefully, trying not to make a sound.

It had been nearly a decade since she’d seen him sleep, as she’d spent the night with him but left in a hurry after work. Aiden had been busy lately, and even in his sleep he looked tired. Belviana debated waking him, then sat down on the bed. She was supposed to be here at one o’clock, and if Aiden was fast asleep, she’d just fill in the time and go back. There wasn’t much else to do, so she propped her elbows on her knees, rested her chin on her knees, and traced Aiden’s sleeping form with her eyes.

Even with the roughness of his fingertips, he still looked gorgeous. His softly parted lips and smooth nostrils were graceful in their pale elegance. Even now, dressed as a servant, he could easily be mistaken for a member of a noble family if he were dressed appropriately. Thus, one day she thought he might be discovered as the hidden child of a king, and the next he was the blood of a manipulative witch.

“Belle?”

He mumbled, his eyes still closed as he felt the gaze on him. Waking up in an uncomfortable position, he rubbed a dry hand across his flushed face. He squeezed the corners of his eyes tightly, the back of his hand red as he tried to shake off sleep. He stayed like that for so long that Belviana assumed he had fallen asleep again. She haphazardly draped a thin blanket over him from the bed.

“Sleep in the bed if you want to sleep better.”

“Oh……. Yeah. I haven’t slept much lately…….”

He unceremoniously pulled the blanket down over his head. The unusually disheveled hair gave him a strangely decadent air. He stepped closer to me and pulled Belviana into his lap. He wrapped his arms tightly around her slender waist and buried his head in the nape of her neck. He breathed her in, hugging her as tightly as he could. His hair was so ticklish against her skin.

Belviana fiddled with the ends of his sleeves, feeling his hard chest beneath the thin layer of his shirt. The heavy thud of his heartbeat traveled through her, and she jerked away from him like an electrocuted person.

“Y, you didn’t call me here for this?”

“Oh, yes. I had something for you.”

He pulled a white envelope from among the papers in his drawer and handed it to her. Belviana didn’t take it, but eyed the seal on the outside of the envelope with suspicion.