Her love was not ordinary. In order to gain Diet’s attention, Estelle resorted to self-harm and told lies.
The mistreatment of the servants remained unchanged. I could also understand the reason behind the rose garden where all the thorns were cut off.
It was Estelle’s order. She’d ordered it so that she could torment them.
She cried when they banned her from using magic…….
They said she cried because the use of magic was forbidden…….
If that was the case, she should have cleared the vases in her room first.
I sifted through Estelle’s endless list of misdeeds with a cloudy eye.
I have no answers.
The original was going crazy even before I possessed it.
“Does this make sense?”
The beauty of possession is that it allows the host to twist the original.
I don’t think I saw how the original story was already ruined by my possession.
Of course, I wasn’t the protagonist, and this was reality. However, I couldn’t just accept it without understanding.
If the original story has changed, it’s hard to tell where it started and where it ended.
Worst case scenario, the romance between the main characters is gone.
“This is terrible.”
As a reader who loved the original, I didn’t even want to think about it.
What the hell happened to Estelle? Did she have another possessor besides me, and did that possessor give her a false sense of security? It’s quite possible.
I possessed this body, so why won’t someone else?
If it’s true, it’s not a pleasant situation. I want to live a simple life, but things are getting complicated.
“I’m glad we know what caused her to do what she did, but…….”
I stare at the papers scattered across the table.
This was probably why he wanted to kill me, because he was better off without the clingy, troublesome Estelle.
‘Just for that?’ people would think, but he was a madman. He’s just hiding his true nature behind a sheepskin. As far as I’m concerned, that’s reason enough to kill me.
That doesn’t mean I’m going to die a nice death at his hands.
“The method is a little suspicious, though…….”
You can’t look at Diet from a normal perspective. That’s not how he wants to kill her.
“I’m going to go on my own, but he even wants to kill me.”
You don’t have to kill someone who wants to crawl into a coffin.
Doesn’t he realise that Estelle is dying?
In the original work, she died after a long illness. She didn’t have a medical condition or took any special medication.
So it wouldn’t have been revealed that she was terminally ill.
She was more of a passing character. There’s no way she’d be given a sympathetic narrative.
“Still, it was unfair for her to be killed like this…….”
When you look closely, there was hardly anything that wasn’t unjust.
If I could sue the world for damages, I would do it.
But since I can’t, I decided to let it go. Holding on to it would only make me feel worse.
“Anyway, my leash is in Diet’s hands.”
To him, I’m a speck of dust that he has no problem getting rid of.
But I had to break free of this dog’s leash.
And to do that–
“I’ll have to change it.”
On my hands and knees, begging him not to kill me.
She’s the one who did it, and I’m the one who has to pay the price.
Another moment of realisation that the world is a shitty place.
* * *
I was able to speak up.
I tried to repair the relationship.
I wrote him a heartfelt apology every day. He didn’t respond, but it didn’t matter because if he didn’t respond, I could just go see him.
Seeing him in person would show him how much I had changed.
But this bastard didn’t want to believe me. Even when I apologised, he just laughed and said, ‘Yeah, yeah.’
My interpretation is
‘Do you think I’m going to believe that?’
The roots of distrust were very deep.
Honestly, from Diet’s perspective, it may be difficult to believe. I even thought that I might appear repulsive, wanting to be forgiven so easily.
But I’m not guilty in the first place. If I’m guilty of possessing this body, I’m guilty. But there’s no way I could ever apologise sincerely.
It was the best I could do.
But it didn’t work, so I guess I’ll just have to wait to die in peace.
Half-giving up, I turned to Diet and grumbled.
“You do realise I have amnesia, don’t you?”
“Then do you realise how confused I must be right now?”
It had been a long time since I’d used respect. It was all I could do to hold in my indignation.
He was working on some paperwork, flipping through it and speaking soullessly.
“If there’s anything I can answer, I’ll do my best to help.”
It seems like there was no realization of how late I was in doing what I should have done on our first encounter.
Since I didn’t expect to feel guilty in the first place, I asked right away.
“Do you hate me?”
“Why would I hate my fiancée?”
Funny. How transparent.
He smiled slightly, but his gaze remained fixed on his papers. It must be hard for him, not wanting to make eye contact.
HIs finely braided hair cascaded over his shoulders. The sunlight streaming in through the window sparkled around it.
Ah, what a picture-perfect composition. I spoke again, with some regret.
“So you like me?”
“To a certain extent.”
It was a vague answer. This pissed me off even more.
If only he’d just come right out and say it, but this guy was a master of evasion.
Sometimes I was confused, ‘Does he hate Estelle?’ This is the hardest type to deal with.
“It’s okay, you can say it. I don’t like you either.”
I tried to cajole him, but Diet showed no intention of yielding.
Exhausted, I sank into the sofa, letting out a sigh, frustrated by Diet’s persistence.
“Aren’t you being too obvious about not trusting me?”
It was then. His hand stopped signing for a moment.
But it was only for a moment.
The hand that had created the silence moved again. The crackle of the pen played in the background.
“It’s the fourth time you’ve told me about having amnesia.”
“Yeah, I don’t know about amnesiac Estelle, though.”
……Amnesia for the fourth time. It’s hard to believe.
I jumped to my feet and exclaimed,
“Hey, it’s for real this time!”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Because I’m so wronged!”
“Yes, I believe you.”
I was frustrated. I could have eaten a hundred sweet potatoes and it wouldn’t have made a difference.
“You don’t believe me!”
“I believe you, that’s why I’ve done whatever you wanted.”
“What? That can’t be true…”
In a moment of utter surprise, my true feelings were revealed in response to such an unexpected remark.
And that’s when he finally looked up.
His eerily glowing violet eyes looked directly at me.
“When you called for me, saying you wanted to die, I came to you. And when you harmed yourself, I stayed by your side.”
“I couldn’t always be there for you, but I tried my best.”
The panorama of this life unfolded before me.
Come to think of it, he never rejected me. He let me in when I visited his office.
My letter, though unanswered, sat neatly on his desk. He never ignored me.
He gave me everything I asked for.
“……Why did you do that?”
I don’t understand. Why did he have to go to this extent? I couldn’t read his mind.
As I tensed, he slowly trailed off.
But I didn’t hear the rest of his sentence.
Suddenly, my vision spun and I began to lose strength.
My body staggered and swayed precariously. I lost my balance and crashed to the floor.
At the same time, a terrible pain engulfed my entire body.
I struggled to turn my head, the pain so intense I could barely breathe. Through my blurred vision, I saw Diet.
He hadn’t moved as I collapsed. As he watched me, he spoke softly.
“Because you’re my fiancée.”
His words were unusually clear through the massively distorted hallucinations. The last thing I saw of him was his slow rise to his feet.
I don’t know if he left me behind, or if he did anything else.
* * *
A glimmer of light began to fill my darkened vision.
My head, which had been throbbing with pain, relaxed. Recognising that the pain was gone, I slowly opened my eyes.
A familiar ceiling greeted me.
Someone must have carried me here because I passed out. I rolled my eyes and took stock of the situation.
The unfamiliar voice made me jump.
His golden eyes, priestly clothes. There was no need to think further.
He was Noel, the master of the house.
He looked exactly as he was described in the novel.
Dressed in a pure white robe, Noel could have been an angel descended to earth.
Long shadows fell from his long red lashes.
Beneath them, golden eyes sparkled like jewelled gems.
Red hair and golden eyes were a combination that could easily have been seen as gaudy, but on Noel, it was almost sacred.
“Are you feeling well?”
“Oh, yeah. I’m fine, but…….”
I can’t believe he’s in front of me. This can’t be a dream, can it?
“My name is Noel, who serves God, Anel. May the blessings of the divine be with you.”
It wasn’t a dream. I quickly bowed, following his slight bow.
“I’m Estelle Labyrinth…….”
I can’t believe I’ll get to say hello to Noel. This must be what it’s like to witness God. I hadn’t felt this way with Diet since our first meeting had been so bad.
When I saw Noel, I was simply overwhelmed with emotion. It made me think that it was a good occurrence that I’ve come to possess this body.
“Excuse me, did you not see Diet?”
I snapped out of my reverie and looked around. It was just me and Noel in the room. There was no sign of him anywhere.
“Well. I was just following the maid’s directions.”
Noel trailed off, shaking his head.
And I was convinced. That he had left me the day I fainted. I feel like an idiot for getting my hopes up for a moment.
Perhaps because I was in pain, my nerves were heightened. I felt dirty, as if I had been slapped on both cheeks by Diet.
All the work I’d done to repair our relationship was for naught. I’d tried to make it work.
I don’t think I can do that now. In the midst of a surging wave of emotions, I made a decision.
I decided to break up with Diet.