With Llewellyn’s oath, Adrian also gave his permission for the engagement, but Rosenia wasn’t happy at all. Rather, it felt like a deep scar was left on her heart.
Should Adrian really has to go this far? Even after knowing how important Llewellyn was for the Rasiane Duchy?
‘He is someone I really like….’
Did he really have to make the person whom I like take an oath to die with me? Does he really need to do this?
‘…. Adrian Hill, you ignorant jerk’.
He says it’s all for me, but he never listens to my opinions and just does whatever he likes.
Rosenia resented Adrian so much, but he was also her one and only brother, so she felt frustrated and depressed.
‘What on earth am I suppose to do? Why is Adrian always like that? I really…’
Llewellyn’s voice brought her back to her senses and broke her chain of thoughts.
When Rosenia smiled at him, he stared at her with a puzzled look on his face. His eyes were filled with concern for her.
‘Maybe this is why…?’
Rosenia was momentarily stunned. Llewellyn always worried about her like this, but he always did what she told him not to do.
‘Adrian and Llewellyn, they both just do as they please’.
When they returned back to her room, Llewellyn tried to embrace her, but she pushed him away and wrapped herself in a blanket. Even though she was covered in the soft cotton blanket, she could feel the bewildered Llewellyn pause.
“Are you so angry that you are not going to look at me?”
“I…. I was wrong. Please don’t ignore me….”
Llewellyn kept begging and gently caressed the blanket that I used to cover myself.
I closed my eyes tightly and sighed. I was angry on him for doing something that I told him not to do, but at the same time I found it funny. Whenever I heard his anxious and sorrowful voice my heart keeps weakening for him.
‘From when did my feelings started growing so strong for him?’
At the very beginning, it was just a complicated relationship which was never meant to happen in the first place.
I sighed and pulled up the blanket that covered me. Then I made eye contact with Llewellyn, who was looking at me with a pitiful and longing expression….. Really, I know very well that if he keeps looking at me like that, then I have no choice but to accept it.
He seems like a capable and a worthy man.
“Do you think that your sorry will ease my anger?” I just wanted to console him but what came out of my mouth were unexpectedly blunt and harsh words.
I was embarrassed for saying this out loud as he was the victim for my brother’s stupid decisions, but I decided to act shamelessly because I couldn’t take back what I said since I had already spit it out. I also wanted to pick on Llewellyn a bit.
“How will… what should I do to ease your anger? I will do anything for you Rose…. so please….” Llewellyn asked me in an earnest voice.
I glanced at him briefly and then again sighed deeply. Really, I feel like a fool for losing my mind so quickly in front of him.
“Actually, I wasn’t that angry. I am just a little nervous….”
“Because neither you nor Adrian listens to me. Both of you do whatever pleases you guys so….”
As I spoke my voice gradually became smaller. I don’t know if Llewellyn understands how I feel. He felt like a stranger to me, a stranger with whom I cannot completely mix with.
The same goes with my family. Although I deeply cherish Adrian, I could not fully understand his way of thinking neither his values.
‘Besides, if you want me to explain why I am angry…..’ I just cannot come up with any thought. I truly like Llewellyn so much…. no matter how much I think about it, I don’t know how should I say this to him?
I am somehow embarrassed so I cannot say anything!
‘Come to think of it, should I write a letter to him…? I think it would be less embarrassing if I wrote it down.’
As I was closed my eyes thinking very deeply, my face started heating up, then I heard Llewellyn’s calm voice.
“I am truly sorry. I made that oath at my own discretion without listening to your opinion.”
“I can truly understand why you are angry. It might sound like a selfless act of mine to say I did it for you but, actually….. I did this out of my own selfishness.”
“If I had truly cared so much about your feelings, I shouldn’t have made such a choice”
Llewellyn quietly stretched out his hands towards me, picked me up and placed me on his lap. I suddenly had to lean on him and looked up towards him.
“Rosenia…. I was just anxious. What if your brother doesn’t approve our engagement? He might tell you to break up with me and I will never see you again.”
“Not being able to see you is as same as dying for me.”
“So, even if the oath was unreasonable, I had to do it….. So I hope you understood why I did that… No to be honest, it’s hard for you to understand. I felt like I would have thrown away everything for you, even if it was my life without any hesitation, just because I didn’t want to breakup with you.”
(* Waaaa I want a man like him)
I sighed again deeply.
“Do you really want to die at the same time as me?”
“Yes. I want to”
The answer came quickly. It was a clear voice without any hesitation. His expression was serious and his eyes were looking straight at me. I laughed and shook my head. I felt like Llewellyn would have given the same answer to me or to anyone even after asking the same question hundred times.
‘But still, the way he said that he want to die along with me? What kind of feeling is this? Honestly, I just don’t know. Probably this person likes me more than I think…. of course, he already said it, that it would be absurd to name his feelings as love…..’
Hey guys! Charoline here! I picked up this novel since it was one of my favorite and couldn’t wait because of delayed updates. If you like my translation then please support me by buying me a coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/famarmy777a