Episode 124

The carriage stopped in front of the palace’s main gate. 

Jasper handed the fare to the coachman without taking any change and hurriedly disembarked.

Even though he didn’t know where Rose was at the moment, he dashed towards the imperial palace without hesitation. Fortunately, he had a permanent pass from the Emperor, so he quickly passed through the security checkpoint and entered the palace.

He felt the urgency to meet Rose as soon as possible. 

In his anxiety, he started moving his feet without thinking. However, within the vast interior of the imperial palace, he was uncertain about how to find Rose.

He first headed to the main palace, where the Emperor’s office was located. It was evident that the Emperor had something specific to say to Rose since she was the only one summoned, excluding Theo, who had been a contest partner.

Jasper moved his feet forcefully and quickly. People around him cast furtive glances at him and discreetly moved out of his way.

Jasper’s expression was grim. It was due to his worries about Rose, but to others, he appeared simply angry. His inner turmoil felt as confusing as a lost child.

‘Oh… If Rose is disappointed in me and starts to dislike me…’

What should he do in that case?

Until now, Jasper had lived, benefiting from the kindness of others. Thanks to being born into the Conway family, the world had generally been kind to him.

He had never made an effort to win someone’s favor, nor had he ever had to hold onto someone who turned away from him. Rose Bell was his first of everything.

‘I’m in no position to say anything to my brother.’

Was it fortunate that he experienced these emotions earlier than Ethan? 

Jasper momentarily stopped and looked down at the ground. As he tried to gather his thoughts while taking deep breaths, he heard the sound of hoofbeats in the distance. He also felt slight vibrations transmitted through the ground.

As Jasper lifted his head to look ahead, a royal carriage heading towards the main gate came to a sudden halt in the middle of the road. The abrupt stop irritated one of the horses, which nervously pranced.

Then, the carriage window opened, revealing a glimpse of red.

“Jasper!”

It was Rose Bell. 

As soon as she spotted Jasper, Rose leaned out of the carriage window. Jasper ran towards the carriage as soon as he saw Rose’s face.

By the time Rose, with the assistance of the coachman, opened the carriage door and stepped out, Jasper had already reached the front of the carriage. 

Jasper was running urgently as if being chased, and he was extremely tense. His breathing was rough and irregular.

As soon as Rose got out of the carriage, Jasper grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him. 

“…Rose.” 

For a moment, everything around him blurred, and only Rose was in focus. It felt like his field of vision had narrowed down to a single point.

He had felt this way before. Just before leaving Valloch, he had spotted Rose Bell at the train station. Even amid a crowd, only her lovely red hair had caught his eye.

Rose spoke with a surprised expression.

“Jasper, why are you here…?”

Jasper examined Rose in silence for a few seconds. 

Judging by the fact that she didn’t shake off his hand, he concluded that Rose wasn’t angry with him. The anxiety that had been boiling inside him throughout his journey to the palace began to subside, and Jasper blurted out without realizing it.

“I missed you.”

Rose blinked her eyes rapidly, appearing flustered, and then responded.

“Um, me too. I had a lot to talk to you about.”

“What…?” 

Jasper’s heart started pounding again. Rose’s face, thoughtful with pursed lips, looked quite serious.

In a hushed voice, Rose spoke.

“It seems like it’s going to be a long conversation… Would you like to go for a walk somewhere? We should have a serious conversation about our future.”

Ssshh… 

The grip of Jasper’s hand that had been holding Rose suddenly weakened. His heart felt like it had stopped entirely. There was no trace of a smile left on Rose’s face.

‘A serious conversation?’

In that brief moment, Jasper’s mind was filled with numerous thoughts.

‘What is this? Is she suggesting we stop seeing each other? Or is she planning to go to the Republic eventually? Why? What kind of conversation did she have with the Emperor to bring about this sudden… Damn, she looks way too serious. No, it’s as if she’s sad. She received the grand prize in the contest, so why… There’s no sign of happiness at all.’

Rose invited Jasper to walk along the riverbank, and Jasper silently nodded his head.

At first glance, Jasper’s face appeared emotionless, much like usual, but in reality, his mind was racing every second.

‘What did I do wrong? Did I belittle George too much? Or was it the lies? Rose probably never imagined that I would go to Valloch because of her. Did she feel betrayed?’

Throughout the walk by the river, Jasper remained silent. Rose didn’t initiate the conversation either. Jasper’s mouth felt parched, and his legs gradually felt like they were turning to stone.

As the silence continued, Jasper’s imagination turned increasingly towards the worst-case scenario.

‘Not saying a word, and behind her back, alone… doing all sorts of things to somehow win Rose. Was that such a terrible mistake, to the point of breaking up?’

Jasper’s complexion paled.

‘What should I do in this situation? Damn, do I have any allies here? The only people I can ask are my brother and Caleb, but neither of them has been exemplary… Maybe I should apologize first.’

Rose Bell is a forgiving person, after all.

At some point, Jasper began to accept, almost as a fact, the delusion that Rose had firmly disappointed in him and decided to break up.

* * *

Rose had no inkling of Jasper’s internal turmoil throughout the walk. 

She had been preoccupied, trying to figure out where to start with her words.

Seeing Jasper’s face, which was even stiffer than usual, she became concerned that he might have been upset about something.

Rose had learned a lot of things she didn’t know from the Emperor. 

She learned that Jasper had gone to her to escape the pressures of his family and marry her, as well as the dangerous and secretive mission he had undertaken in return for the Emperor’s help. 

Even the clandestine actions that she believed had to be kept secret, Jasper already knew about. He had pretended not to know.

‘I didn’t know anything.’

While she was enjoying academy life, making new friends, and falling in love for the first time, Jasper was taking risks behind the scenes, and he had even been seriously injured.

‘Why did he go to such lengths…?’

At the time Jasper made a deal with the Emperor, Rose wasn’t even aware of her feelings. 

Given the circumstances, she couldn’t understand why Jasper was willing to make such sacrifices and even go as far as to get hurt for her.

‘What if I left for the Republic?’

Suddenly, she remembered Jasper’s unwavering statement that he would go to the Republic with her. It wasn’t just words; it was genuine.

Rose was locked in a whirlwind of emotions. She felt more sorry than touched. It seemed like Jasper had carried the burden on his own. Above all…

‘If I had been a suitable noble lady.’

Jasper wouldn’t have had to go through any of this. As she naturally visualized the image of Jasper being shot and bleeding profusely, a chill ran down her spine.

The two of them arrived at a bench near the riverbank in silence. 

Sitting side by side, Rose looked at Jasper. Her gaze naturally fell on Jasper’s shoulder.

‘It could have hit your heart instead of your shoulder.’

It could have happened. The horrifying and heart-wrenching image had involuntarily twisted Rose’s face. 

Her gaze dropped lower, and her lips tightened.

Was she worth Jasper risking his life? She couldn’t be sure.

She needed to become someone more magnificent, standing higher than she was now, to make sure Jasper’s feelings weren’t in vain. To make sure that Jasper’s love wasn’t just foolish and reckless.

‘I need to do better.’

As Rose made that commitment, Jasper suddenly spoke in a trembling voice.

“I’m sorry.”

Thinking she must have heard it wrong, Rose tilted her head in confusion. In response, Jasper’s face grew paler. 

Jasper gently grasped Rose’s hand.

“…I’m sorry, Rose.”

Rose didn’t understand why Jasper was apologizing. She thought it should be the other way around, that she should be the one apologizing.

“Why are you saying sorry?”

“Oh…”

Jasper’s face became increasingly ashen. His blue eyes darted around.

Even though Jasper had a strong and imposing physique, he now seemed overwhelmed with fear, like a lost child on the verge of breaking down at the slightest touch.

Jasper spoke in a choked voice.

“I just… it’s just that…”

“No, Jasper. You don’t have a reason to apologize.”

Desperately taking a deep breath, Jasper mumbled.

“Have you… stopped liking me?”

“Wait, hold on. Stop it.”

“Or are you disappointed?”

“What?”

“Or… have you grown tired of me?”

“No, Jasper. No, no. Let’s stop this.”

“Stop?” 

Jasper’s eyes chilled for a moment.

Rose realized that Jasper seemed to be acting strangely. She held his hand tightly and said.

“No! Not at all. Calm down, Jasper!”